The next morning, Shinji was in class as the Second Impact teacher lectured about history.

"Of course, back in Ancient Greece, fighting wasn't done with these giant robots, but with men. And given that you have this environment that glorifies the male body, it is no surprise that homoeroticism-" The teacher grinned as the class giggled. "-becomes part of the tapestry of society."

Shinji cringed at the sound of his elderly teacher saying the word "homoeroticism".

"Yes, Ancient Greek society was quite homoerotic. The sculptures were homoerotic. The pottery was homoerotic. The stories that they told to stiffen their backbones in preparation for war, were homoerotic. The naked wrestling was homoerotic. The practice of rubbing olive oil on muscley male bodies to make them gleam in the sun, was homoerotic, I don't have to tell you that. In fact, the atmosphere back then was probably simmering with exchanged glances and physical affection, to a degree that I, a heterosexual man with a wife, could only dream of comprehending. Now, who can name another homoerotic aspect about life in Ancient Greece?" No hands went up. "Alright, then, I'll pick a volunteer. Uh... Shinji!"

"Uh, what?"

"What is another- You know what, I can barely hear you. Why don't you stand up in front of class and give us your answer."

This was going to be a problem, since Shinji had just developed an erection. But, resourceful as he was, he picked up his Second Impact textbook and held it in front of himself as he made his way up front.

"Okay, Shinji," said the teacher. "What's another aspect about life in Ancient Greece that is homoerotic?"

Shinji's mind went blank. The teacher had already listed the most obvious examples. "Uh, the food?"

The class laughed, and the teacher giggled. "Oh, Shinji, it's clear that you don't understand the first thing about homoeroticism." The teacher faced the class. "Class, I realize that Shinji and most of you are heterosexual, but it's important that you have a basic understanding about life beyond your own experiences so you don't end up like Shinji here."

"Breeder!" a student yelled.

"Hey! No name calling in the classroom! Besides, it's not Shinji's fault that he's ignorant. He was born that way, and he's just doing the best that he can. Perhaps, in time, he can even be an ally."

Shinji realized with horror that most of the class (aside from Asuka, Rei, and Kaworu) now believed that he was straight. Oh, if only there were a way to show them that he wasn't so straight after all.

"How can I convince the class that I'm bi?" asked Shinji. He was eating lunch in the cafeteria with Kaworu, Asuka, and Rei.

Asuka sighed. "Idiot Shinji," she said. "Don't you remember? We're supposed to be performing parts from a work of literature tomorrow."

Shinji paused. "I don't understand."

"Do I have to spell out everything to you? Why don't you find a play with a kiss scene, and use it to kiss Kaworu?" Asuka chuckled vaguely evilly. "In fact, I have just the story for you. It's called 'The Miller's Tale' from the Canterbury Tales. It's a classic tale of romance. You better sign up for it fast before someone else takes it!"

"Uh, okay."

After lunch, Shinji stopped by the Second Impact teacher's class. The teacher had just returned from lunch and was setting down his jacket.

"Uh, hello, sensei," said Shinji. "So, I was thinking of this story I wanted to present tomorrow?"

"Yes?"

"Uh, 'The Miller's Tale', from the Canterbury Tales?"

The Second Impact teacher raised his eyebrows. "That... would be a pretty... adult choice."

Shinji's heart beat faster. He could only imagine what must be in this story. "So, can I use it?"

The teacher smiled. "Oh, sure! That won't be weird at all! And who better to treat this story with tact and maturity than a 14-year-old?"

"Oh, great! Thanks, sensei!" Shinji ran off.

After school, Shinji and Kaworu pored over the translation of the story.

"What the fuck," said Shinji. "I'm going to kill Asuka. Kaworu, are you reading this?"

"Yes."

"There's literally only one kiss in this story, and it's with a butt." Shinji paused. "You know what? If you wore a 'butt' costume, like, your face was in the middle of a fake butt, then maybe I could still kiss you in front of the class."

Kaworu paused, expressionless. "How much acting would I have to do?"

"Not much. Maybe I could ask Asuka to play some of the other parts. She seems to like showing off."

Shinji and Kaworu made props, borrowing material for a fake butt from Misato, and the next day, Shinji, Asuka, and Kaworu were acting out scenes from The Miller's Tale in front of class.

"So I'm Absolon, now," said Shinji, subtly integrating exposition into his dialogue. "And I'm begging Alisoun to come to the window so that I may kiss her."

This was the cue for Kaworu to put the fake butt on his face and put it through the cardboard window they made... but wait! Asuka was putting the fake butt on her face instead! Shinji stared at Kaworu, who just stood to the side and shrugged. Asuka positioned her butt-face at the window. The class giggled. Shinji stood nervously.

"And what happens next?" asked the Second Impact teacher.

"Uh, okay, and then I lean in to kiss her..." said Shinji. He leaned over to the cardboard window with Asuka's butt-face, and tried to convincingly fake a kiss... but then Asuka grabbed his shoulders, pulled him toward her, and put her lips on his. The class erupted with laughter, including the Second Impact teacher.

Shinji backed away from Asuka, whose butt-face grinned evilly. "Tehee!" she said.

Shinji glanced at Kaworu, who smirked. He turned to the teacher.

"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Second Impact teacher. "Straight people, am I right?"