CHAPTER TWENTY - ROSE

I had to get out of here. Seeing Mason was too much. I couldn't stand by and watch as everything unfolded just like it had last time. I'd laugh at the irony, since I'd been trying to do the exact opposite for days, but I didn't think anyone would find it funny.

I went to Alberta then and there, and I practically begged her to let me take Robert to his cell at the Academy early. I didn't explain why, but I used my time travel pull and told her it was essential.

She gave me a car and sent Yuri, Dustin, and Celeste to help me guard the prisoner. I wasn't worried. Robert was mostly quiet and I had a feeling he was still trying to access his absent powers. He wasn't having any luck.

We reached the ward line after a day's drive, and I told myself I was doing the right thing. Away from it all, I wouldn't be tempted to help Dimitri or Lissa to locate my past self once they realized she was missing. I wouldn't give in and tell them where Isaiah was keeping my friends.

I went over the same rationalizations I'd been giving myself since I came here. Mason's death had to happen. Anything else would be way to big a shockwave. I had to preserve the future. I had my life to consider. My friends lives. Dimitri, Sydney, Lissa, Anton. Hell, my friends had kids too. Declan, Andrea. What if I did something here that erased one of them?

The reasons all fell flat.

I remembered what Anton said in my dream. About getting rid of one thing to keep another. Was that what I was doing?

Funny how he seemed to think it was bad too.

But I stayed where I was and I waited. And when I saw that time strike, on the exact same date I remembered so well, I felt like a piece of me was dying all over again too.

I was meant to be a protector. A guardian. It was my whole life. I was betraying that now. I was betraying Mason, who'd been gone for years, but for just a few short days had been vibrant and alive again. He only ever cared about me, and now I failed him for the second time.

The students came back a few days later. My past self found me alone in the church. I was waiting for her.

"You could've stopped it."

She had dark circles under her eyes, skin blotchy from crying, and her wrists were bandaged over from where Christian burned her to make their escape. In a few days, she'd have new bandage - at the back of her neck where she would receive her first two molnija marks.

"Yeah, and I didn't." I said, trying very hard not to get too defensive. One Rose hating herself had to be better than two.

"And now you've made me a killer. Just like you."

"You're not a killer," I told her. "Those Strigoi had to die. You saved our friends."

She stalked forward. "Robert said you killed his brother. So I'm going to kill someone."

"It's more complicated than you think," I said.

"It always is with you." She turned almost hopeful for a moment. "Was he Strigoi?"

I sighed. I didn't know how many times I'd wished Victor had been Strigoi when I killed him. It would've made things a whole lot easier than they were.

She saw the answer in my expression and started wringing her hands.

"Mason is dead. And you knew it. You knew everything."

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice cracking. It was the most honest thing I could tell her.

She just stared at me. "You know how it happens to Dimitri too, don't you? How he becomes that…" her face scrunched up in horror and disgust. I wondered what she was thinking about. Natalie? Isaiah?

"...how he dies," she corrected herself. "Tell me! We can save him!"

"No," I said, quietly and firmly. "We can't. There are things that need to happen, or lots of people could get hurt. I can't just meddle with time because I can. That's what Robert was trying to do. Things happened in my life. Some of it was bad, but I can't undo it. We have to move forwards."

I wasn't sure if I even believed my own crap anymore, but this was the one thing I couldn't budge on, no matter how much it hurt. If Dimitri never became Strigoi, he'd never be restored. It meant Anton would never exist.

She shook her head furiously. "No. I'm not going to let you do this again."

"What are you talking about?"

"What happened to Mason won't happen to Dimitri. Not him. You think everything has to go the way you remember it, to fit into your stupid timeline. But I don't care about destiny or fate. He's not turning Strigoi. Not if I have anything to say about it."

I got right up in her face. I'd had enough.

"You think I want this? Last week I was back in my nice stable life where I didn't have to constantly question my own morals. If a Strigoi attacked my friends, I could fight them off without wondering if that action would wipe them from existence later. Now I'm in my own past, watching things that already happened, happen again. I can't afford to fix my old mistakes. I have a home to get back to."

"You don't understand," she said, eyes dark. "I don't care about your future. I'm going to stop you. Whatever it takes. That's a promise."

She left me standing there, amongst the pews and the stained glass. Some people thought churches were serene. I never bought into that, and I really didn't right now. The room was cold and drafty, but still - like the calm before a storm.

I truly believed, after all I'd been through, that I could do anything I put my mind to. That same fact was true of my seventeen year old self, my twenty year old self, and really anyone who called themselves Rose Hathaway. That was how I knew a war was coming. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to win.

A/N: So thats the end, folks! I want to thank you all once again for all of your amazing reviews and support. When it comes to sequels, I'll probably end up writing one that goes into Shadow Kiss and Blood Promise. Unfortunately, I've kind of fallen out of the Vampire Academy fandom at the moment and I'll probably need to take a significant hiatus before writing again. This fic was actually originally a Christmas present for a friend, so I might write some more by her birthday later this year. Or with luck, the VA nostalgia will strike again sooner rather than later.

Anyway, so long for now and I hope you all had a great New Year!