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Kai's POV:

Not Here

It's Math class, and everything is normal. The teacher is explaining techniques for working out problems like normal, I'm taking notes and answering my textbook questions like normal, and Thorne is using his graph paper to make paper airplanes like normal. There's just one thing that's not normal.

In every class, not just Math but every class, my mind is completely focused on the lesson. Nothing else matters as much as the words on the whiteboard and in my textbook. But this time, barely any of my attention is on the class itself (which probably means all my notes are wrong and that I'm going to have to redo most of my working). I've got some more pressing matters filling my mind.

The doctors came to check up on my dad yesterday and reported that his condition hasn't changed one bit. They said it like it was good news, like it didn't matter that he wasn't getting better so long as he wasn't getting worse. I had to go to my room and start tearing up my origami to keep myself from screaming in the doctors' faces about what idiots they were and who did they think they were kidding and would you stop acting like everything is fine?

It was a pretty terrible afternoon.

The doctors' visit was like a wake-up call. It's time to face the cold, hard facts. Dad's not going to get better any time soon, and I can't just keep bottling up my grief and taking out my anger on origami. I've got to talk to someone. I've got to let someone else know what I'm going through. And I don't just mean the staff or the officials that help Dad run this place. I mean someone my age. Someone like the girl with messy brown hair and oil stains on her shirt sitting next to me.

The shrill ringing of the bell makes me jump with surprise. Math is over already?

Students chatter to each other as they push their chairs back and gather up their textbooks. I wonder what it's like to feel so carefree?

I tap Cinder on the shoulder and she turns her head to face me.

"Can you come over to my place after school?" I ask, "There's something I want to show you."
Cinder shrugs. "Well, I haven't got anything to do this afternoon. What's your address?"
"You can just come home with me. Your parents won't mind, will they?"

Cinder's smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I think they'll be cool with it"

I smile with relief. "Okay, good. Meet up outside the front door?"

She nods.

I smile with relief. Thank God. "Great! See you then!" And then hurry off for History. I'm already late.

I don't know whether I should feel smug or embarrassed as Cinder stares open-mouthed at the black luxury car and the chauffer standing just outside the driver's door.

"I thought you had your own car." Cinder murmured.

"I do, but I mainly use it for, you know, leisure stuff. Trips to the cinema and all that. Stuff like school, well, I use the chauffer."

She shook her head. "I don't even know why I'm surprised that you'd have someone who drives you around in a flash car, but I am."

I grin at her. "Scale of one to ten: how badly to you want to lift that car's hood and dissect its engine?"

"Twelve."

I chuckle and open the passenger door for her. She rolls her eyes at the gesture and gets in.

During the drive back to my place, my light mood steadily darkens. I just keep thinking about my dad, with his pure black eyes, stumbling around the house, smiling serenely.

An involuntary shudder runs across my spine.

"Kai? Everything okay?" Cinder asks concernedly.

"Yes." I reply automatically. "No. You'll see soon enough."

She doesn't press me further, but I can feel her worried gaze on me as I stare out of the window.

I wonder what Dad would think of Cinder? I've told him about her of course, but I always lost my nerve before I could get to the important things like her personality. Pretty much all Dad knows about her is that she's a good mechanic and that she goes to my school. I think he'd like her. Cinder is nothing if not logical, and Dad likes logical people. He says they're like rocks, and you can always trust and depend on them. He would also like her no-nonsense attitude. He hates it when people spend more time talking about something they would like to do that actually doing the thing. Well, as far as I know Cinder never told anyone she wanted to be a mechanic, she just went to a shop and applied for a job. Dad would like that about her. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Dad would like Cinder. If he was his normal self. Right now, I don't think he'd even see her.

When we arrive at my house, I mentally prepare myself for seeing Dad again. I don't really know why I do it. Seeing him still feels like a sledgehammer to the face. Maybe it makes me feel like I have some control over this impossible situation?

A burst of incredulous laughter interrupts my absolutely useless ritual.

"You live in a mansion? A freaking mansion?"

I glance up at the large, handsome building. "Uh… yes?"

Cinder steps forward, grinning with amazement. "It's got columns around the porch and everything! Are those gargoyles?"

I internally debate the pros and cons of telling her that there are security cameras hidden inside the gargoyles, just to make the house (okay mansion) look a tiny bit less gaudy. Probably not allowed.

I walk up to double doors and rap the sturdy wood with one of the brass knockers. Cinder smirks at me. "What's wrong with using your knuckles like all of us common folk?"

"It hurts."
"Touché."

The doors open, and my eyes widen with surprise when I see that it wasn't the butler who'd opened them.

"Afternoon Kaito." Says my dad's secretary. "Did you have a good day at school?"
"Same as always Torin."

He looks over my shoulder and frowns. "Who's this?"

"This is Cinder, I invited her over."

"Kaito, you know it's not a good idea to "invite people over" at this time."

I sigh. Torin was always a bit serious. "Look, I just want to talk to someone about it."

"You can talk to me."

"I meant someone my age." Who doesn't have their nose stuck in legal documents all day.

Torin still looks unsatisfied, but he steps aside to let Cinder and I in.

"What was that all about." Cinder whispers, staring at Torin uneasily.

"It's… complicated. You'll see in a minute." I hurriedly add when a catch the look Cinder's giving me.

Dad was in the living room this morning, so I start my search for him in the living room. Sure enough, there he is, sitting in the exact same armchair and still staring at the armchair across from him since no one moved his head to stare at something else.

I gesture to him. "That's my dad." My voice cracks on the last word.

Cinder and I walk around the chair so that we're standing in front of him. Cinder sucks in a breath sharply as she sees his black eyes. I don't react, though inside I feel as though my soul is being shattered into a million pieces. This man, once energetic and joking, always with a ready grin on his face, is my father. I've had time to grow accustomed to this new reality; family members die, parents divorce, and people manage to go on, so I should too. But this… this feels different. It's a different kind of loss. Because he's still here, staring at me, but he's not here. How do you cope with a loss like that?

I wave half-heartedly. "Hi dad."

He blinks, a long, slow movement, and his smile widens almost imperceptibly before he finally replies: "Hello Kai." His voice lilts unnaturally.

I feel Cinder's hand on my shoulder. I reach up and grip her fingers tightly. "He's been like this for weeks. The doctors can't tell what's wrong with him. They found some kind of anomaly in his bloodstream, but they don't know what it is." I take a short, shuddering breath. "I just, I wanted to talk to someone about it. Torin tries to help and he's comforting, in his own way, but I just-" I break off. I don't know how to finish.

My vision blurs and something wet runs down my cheeks. I wipe them distractedly with my free hand. I'm still gripping Cinder's like a lifeline.

Another tear traces a path down my cheek, and I feel the coarse leather of Cinder's glove rub against my skin as she wipes it away for me. "He'll get better Kai," she assures me softly, "he will. I'll make sure of it."

A/N: The feels…. Oh the feels…

This chapter was… well there's no other word for it: sad. Really, really, sad. Who else wants to give Kai a great big hug?

How can Cinder help Kai's dad get better? Will she be able to keep her promise?

Please review!