Thank you all for the love I have received. I can't say enough how amazing it feels to be writing again. I have been binge-watching Chicago Fire for the first time in over 2 years; getting myself caught up with season 5 and 6 of the show that I had only watched bits and pieces of... but I don't know that I can watch after I get caught up. Dawson and Dawsey is the reason I watch this show, they are the reason I write. I am dreading being fully caught up and coming to terms with what the writers really did to this couple that has meant so much to me over the years. To say I've been on an emotional rollercoaster while getting caught up is an understatement.

I am already working on the next chapter and hope to have it out soon; thanks again, everyone. I have missed you all.

Casey

I feel like I've been waiting forever to see Dawson when I finally hear the door open, I am about to tell Hermann as much.

"Matt..."

Had she gotten more beautiful over the past few days I was out? I was sure she had.

She pauses in the doorway, and throw a lopsided smile her way. "Hi."

Gabby is rushing over to my bed but stops short, I see the question in her eyes and answer her before she can say anything. "I'm fine. I promise. Come here." I open my arms to her and she is carefully moving to me, and relaxing into my arms.

I feel her body shake with tears and my heart breaks; I can't imagine what she has been feeling over the past couple of days. I know if the roles were reversed, I would be a mess.

I shush her quietly, holding her as close as my wounded chest would allow. "It's okay, I'm here, Gabs. I'm here." It's a solid five minutes we sit there holding each other letting the silence fill the space before Gabby finally whispers.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I smile, "Better than ever, promise."

She's pulling out of my arms and sending a solid punch to my shoulder after that making me nearly jump off the bed. "Wha-"

"How the hell could you put me through that?! Why would you lie about your side job and keep this from me!?" I see the fire in her eyes and nearly cower away from her.

I should have known I wasn't getting off that easy.

Severide

I walk into Matt's room and can't help but smile. Hermann and Mouch are in the corner laughing about something with the Chief. Brett, Otis, and Cruz are in chairs near the end of the bed talking amongst themselves and Gabby's in a chair relaxing at Matt's bedside. She hadn't moved far from him in the past four hours since arriving at the hospital.

I watch Gabby dance her fingers along her stomach, Jesse had been wiggling around for the majority of the day, but not enough for it to be felt from the outside. Her eyes lit up and she sat up in the chair grabbing Matt's hand and placing it on her stomach where Jesse kicked.

Casey's smile brightens up the whole room after feeling his son kick and Gabby chuckles, "See Mr. Casey, patience... Baby boy wanted you to wait for it."

We all share a chuckle at her words.

"Yeah, yeah, fair enough." Casey responds, not taking his eyes off Dawson's stomach, nor his hand.

"Hey, when is your next appointment?" Hermann asks.

Gabby pauses, I watch her eyes shift, clearly unsure what to say. It's then I realize, Matt did not know about her condition.

"Uh, Friday." Gabby says carefully and I watch Matt pause and look up at her, his eyes questioning.

"Friday?" Casey asks.

Gabby nods, not meeting his eyes. The room goes quiet, everyone avoiding Matt's eyes. He takes obvious note of this.

"What's going on?" He questions forcefully.

Gabby finally meets his eyes, and hers are filling with tears. "Gabs?"

"I uh, I had some complications." She whispers.

"Complications, how?" He questions her softly, fear creeping into his blue eyes.

Dawson stays quiet and I take that as my que to jump in. "Hey guys, let's give them a minute." Everyone is up and shuffling out of the room, I squeeze Dawson's shoulder from where she sits and make my way out as well.

I knew this wasn't going to be an easy conversation for them. Hell, I was still reeling from it.

Dawson

As everyone leaves, I take a deep breath trying to calm my racing thoughts. I had not expected to have this conversation so quickly after Matt woke up. I had hoped we could let a few days pass, maybe even get him home before this conversation had to happen, but one thing I learned from waiting on telling Matt that I was pregnant was that it did more harm than good. I knew there was no way around this other than through it, no lies.

"Gabs, what's going on? What do you mean complications?" My heartaches for Matt, I knew the minute this came out he was going to start blaming himself.

"I uh, during your surgery Kelly and I were talking and I passed out and I uh, I had some bleeding. The doctors admitted me." I say softly and I watch that same fear creep into Casey's eyes at full force.

"Is everything okay, with you, with Jesse?" He prompts urgently.

I shake my head and let the tears I had been holding back finally slide down my face. "Right now, yeah. They are monitoring everything closely, but uh they ran some tests and I have a condition called placenta previa." I watch as Matt digests this information and I can tell it has thrown him for a complete loop.

"What does this mean?"

I take a breath and lean forward in my chair, holding Matt's hand in my own and try to put on a brave face as much as possible, Matt needed me to be strong right now. "It means that this pregnancy is now high-risk. Placenta previa means that the placenta is attached low on the uterus. It means either before, or during birth, I could have bleeding, hemorrhaging actually... and if that happens, it..." I have to stop myself, my brave face starting to crumble. "If that happens things could go south, quick. The doctors may have difficulties stopping the bleeding... I could die."

Matt opens his mouth and immediately closes it, seemingly unable to form a word. I sniffle, running my hand over my stomach when I feel Jesse moving around before making a failed attempt at wiping at my tears.

"Come here." Matt says softly around the lump in his throat. I give him a skeptical look, but he's pulling on my hand and scooting over as much as he can in the small hospital bed. He pulls me into his arms and I rest my head on his shoulder. I feel Matt's lips meet the top of my head and can't help the tears that fall when I feel his breath shutter as he moves. I didn't have the heart to look up at him and see his face.

"You are not going anywhere, Gabriella Dawson. Not now, not ever. You are going to be right by my side when we bring this amazing little man home. You are going to be there on his first day of kindergarten when he gives us both heartaches after getting his driver's license. We are going to dance at his wedding together." My body shakes from the sobs that racked through me. Casey holds me tighter and I can feel his own tears hitting the top of my head. "You are not going anywhere; I won't allow it."

1 week later

Matt and I walk through the door of our apartment together for the first time in nearly two weeks. So much had changed, yet so much was still the same.

Matt sits down on the couch, the walk from the truck slightly wearing him out and I walk to the bedroom to drop his bag before moving to the kitchen to find us something to eat.

"Gabby, sit down. You're supposed to be on bed rest, not taking care of me."

I chuckle softly, grabbing Matt a water and myself a juice in one hand and both of our pills in the other before coming to sit beside him. I hand him over the bottle and pills and clink our bottle together. "Cheers." I joke and watch as he grins before downing his own medicine.

I plop on to the couch next to him and easily rest into his side. "Look at us," Matt says. "Never would have imagined this would be our life. A couple of old people taking their pills and watching TV on the couch on a Friday night." I chuckle heartily, completely agreeing.

Matt kisses my head and rubs my shoulder. "How you feeling?"

I roll my eyes and lean up to meet Matt's eyes. "I am fine, how are you feeling?"

He only offers a smile my way before becoming silent.

It's a beat later he is up off the couch. "I uh, I have something for you... that is if you are feeling up to it?"

I nod my head and Matt walks to the kitchen and grabs a key.

Dammit. He was so excited. He had no idea Kelly and I had already been in the room. I try my hardest to put on a face. I could still make this special for him if I just sold it.

Matt comes behind me and leads me to Jesse's room. "I had plans to show this to you right after my last shift, and well we both know how that went down... so," Casey leans forward opening the door and letting it fall open. "Surprise."

I move into the room slowly, still breathless and amazed by all the work and love that Matt has put into this. I turn to him, "Matt, I..."

He cuts me off and I watch his face fall for only a moment before he shakes his head and smirks lightly. "You knew... How long?"

I wince, "I'm sorry. I may have found out right before you woke up."

Matt nods and looks around. "Well, what do you think?"

I walk over to him letting my hands hold his cheeks and press a light kiss to his lips. "I love it. You are an amazing man Matthew Casey. Jesse and I are both lucky to have you. Thank you. This is the most amazing furniture I have ever seen. Better than I could have ever dreamed for our sweet boy."

Matt smiles brightly and kisses my head.

"Anything for you, both of you." He wraps an arm around me and walks us out of the room. "Come on, let's get you to bed, Mama."

4 weeks later

I wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, something that seems so foreign after these past few weeks of Matt being home and off work to heal. I hear a commotion in the other room and carefully crawl out of bed. I move to the kitchen and am met with an exhausted-looking Matt, making breakfast, looking on a caffeine high. Looking strung out, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

"Matt?" I question softly; my voice still full of sleep and my eyes still tired. He doesn't hear me and continues on making what looks to be pancakes. "Matt, baby…"

He jumps slightly and his eyes meet mine. "Oh hey! You're up?! Breakfast? You, uh you want breakfast?" His voice is high and his words are quick and if it wasn't for how well I knew Matt I would say he was as high as his voice.

"Matt… It's the middle of the night…"

He shakes his head as if my words have barely registered and he flips the pancakes he was making in the pan, he quickly looks at the clock apparently just realizing the time. "Huh…"

"What's going on?"

"You know I've been thinking…" He's back to the far-away voice, focusing on anything but me and talking in a rush. "Did you know daycare and preschool is like $15,000 dollars a year? Crazy right? And that is for normal people, with normal 9-5 jobs. Can you imagine what it will be like for us? I mean working 24hour shifts and all. Oh, and College. College is like $50,000 dollars per year. So, you think 4 years, or more, who knows, our kid could decide to be a freaking surgeon for all we know, but that is like $200,000 dollars in 4 years. And that isn't counting school clothes and books, and whatever else it will need. And that is just when the kid is what, 18? The first year it's averaged to spend $12,000 on everything the baby will need. And after the first year, you just keep spending."

"Matt…"

"We, we aren't prepared for this. I mean I have some money saved up, but it will maybe get our kid through its first two years of life and then what?"

"Matt." I say more forcefully this time, trying to bring him back to reality.

"What are we gonna do then? I mean…"

"Matt!"

He finally stops talking and looks at me. His eyes finally meeting mine and filling with recognition. "It's just something I was thinking about." He says quietly now. Looking at the mess in front of him for the first time. The pancakes that littered the kitchen counter, two heaping plates and two more that he was now letting scorch in the pan, I briefly wondered how long he had actually been up.

I smile softly and make my way over to him, turning the stove off first then wrapping my arms around his side and resting my head on his shoulder. "Why don't you come back to bed?" I request softly.

He nods. "Okay." And slowly walks behind me to the bedroom, I stop halfway and can't help but smile as I turn and see pancake batter on the front of his t-shirt and the spatula still in his hand. I take the spatula from his hand and set it on the counter and we share a short laugh before he follows me to the bedroom once again.

We settle down in the middle of the bed facing each other and I take his hand in mine, giving him a reassuring smile. "We're gonna be okay Matt… We will figure it all out." I know Matt had been stressed the past couple weeks with not being able to work both at 51 and any construction jobs. We had money saved up, I wasn't worried, but with neither of us working I knew why Matt was stressed. That coupled with us being not having very many real conversations over the past few weeks... I wasn't surprised to see him having a little breakdown.

He nods and squeezes my hand. "I know, I know… It's just, it's not just about the money. I know we will figure that all out along the way..."

Matt trails off as we both settle into the bed. I look at him curiously, waiting for him to go on. He finally turns to me before fully laying down. "I feel like we have so much going on, so much to figure out before Jesse gets here. Not just money-wise, but things we need to get for him, things between us, everything."

I nod, giving him a half-smile. I was aware we had things to talk about, things we were avoiding, but I knew tonight was not the time to lay it all out there. I placed a hand on Matt's shoulder forcing him to lay back. I gave him a soft smile before my eyes averted to the scar in the middle of his chest. It was healing well; stitches had been taken out nearly two weeks ago and the doctors seemed to say he was healing better than expected.

I ran a finger down the middle of it, taking it in. Every time I looked at it my heart ached thinking of what could have happened to him. Casey reached up and grabbed my hand in his, stopping my movements and pulling me from my thoughts. I gave him a weak smile and met his concerned eyes with ones of my own.

Before I could stop myself, I leaned down, placing a gentle kiss over the scar, over his heart, before finally settling my head on his shoulder, snuggling into his arms... needing that comfort more than I would like to admit.

Matt heaved a heavy sigh and pulled me closer, kissing the top of my head. "We're going to be okay, Matt." He rests a hand on my stomach, rubbing patterns into my skin. "All of us."

Hermann

The common room was a buzz today while the house all waited for two of the biggest parts of our 51 family to join us together for the first time in 6 weeks. While we had all seen Casey and Dawson here and there; though all those visits had been at Casey and Dawson's apartment. The 51 family had set up a meal schedule, as well as visiting rotation on their off days. We all knew they had Severide living with them if they needed anything, but we didn't want them to feel alone while going through this tough time. We also didn't want Severide to feel like this all fell on him, we were their family, they deserved all of us stepping in. With both Dawson and Casey being essentially bed-bound, I knew how isolated they had to be feeling.

All of these efforts we had made were great, but today was different. Today we were throwing a surprise baby shower for Dawson. She was almost into her 8th month of pregnancy and had already been on bed rest for the major majority of her pregnancy. We know shopping trips for baby supplies were not something high on their list, but also knew from Severide that Matt had completely set up the baby room for them. I knew they had furniture and a room, but 51 had supplied just about anything else the expecting parents could possibly need.

There were decorations galore in the common room; Stella and Sylvie going overboard, but no one could blame them. This was Gabby's only baby shower, and after her prognosis a few weeks ago we wanted this to be special. This baby shower was about coming together as a family, showing Gabby how much we all loved and supported her.

Somehow, we had convinced Chief to call them in, claiming it had something to do with their time off. We didn't want to scare them, but we needed an excuse to get them here, at the same time. Now we waited and hoped no calls came in while we did.

Stella walked in with a huge grin on her face, breaking up the multiple conversations happening throughout the common area. "They're here! Severide is bringing them up the drive now."

We all gathered together waiting for them to come through the common doors. The second they walked through their faces spread into shock as they looked around, "Surprise!"

Casey

Gabby and I step out of my truck, both giving each other nervous smiles as we walk up the hanger together. Walking through the garage door we are met by Kelly.

He gives us a quizzical look, "What are you two doing here?"

Gabby sighs as Kelly pulls her into a quick hug, despite having just seen her 10 hours ago. "Chief called, sounds like he is having issues with both of our medical leaves, he wanted to see us. Not sure if it's pushback or what. I was afraid of this happening, especially with how long my leave is and then Casey's leave and injury not being work-related necessarily. Antonio was handling it since he was a CI, but I don't know..." Gabby rambles on and I squeeze her shoulder trying to calm her nerves.

I see guilt in Kelly's features as he averts his eyes that leaves me confused, but I have no time to ask about it before Kelly is turning on his heals with Gabby leading us through the double doors.

The minute we step through we are met with flashes of blue and red and all of our 51 family's smiling faces. "Surprise!"

I can't help the shock on my face and when I look at Gabby, I see the same look, but tears are swimming in her eyes, dangerously close to shedding. I run a hand along her back in comfort and move my attention to the group around us. "What is all this?"

Hermann steps forward with a proud smile. "This is a baby shower, Lieutenant."

"We've got presents, we've got decorations, we've got food, and we may even have a game or two to play to keep this interesting." Kidd interjects as Hermann moves to us and gives Gabby a hug, wrapping his arms around her in his typical fatherly hug; or at least typical for Hermann when it came to Dawson.

Gabby pulls away from the hug, wiping at the tears in her eyes and addresses everyone. "You guys didn't have to do this, really."

"We wanted to." Cruz clarifies.

Hermann squeezes Gabby's shoulders from behind and lightly guides her into the room. "Come on, let's get to it!"

I can't wipe the grin off my face as I watch Gabby get passed around the room by everyone. Gabby putting up a fight at first. "This game is so depressing to the pregnant lady; I don't need all of you to guess how fat I have gotten in the last 7 months." She huffs, but can't help but chuckle. They all stare her down, Otis going as far as making her spin in a circle, thinking it will give him an edge up on the competition. Gabby looks at him unimpressed and crosses her arms over her chest.

I look at Kelly, and he matches my grin. "You knew about this?" He shrugs light, "I uh, I take it Chief did not need to talk to either of us about our medical leave?"

Severide shakes his head letting out a loud laugh at mine and Gabby's expense. Kelly yells out his guess and Dawson turns shooting daggers at him. "You think I am the actual size of a whale, Severide?!"

Severide gives her a playful shrug and I watch her glare deeper, he would get a mouthful at home from her I am sure, before getting distracted by Kidd walking up to her, snapping the tape measure in front of her with her signature smirk before leaning down to measure Gabby's growing stomach.

The baby shower was more than I could have ever expected our family to plan for us. The room was decorated in blue streamers and balloons, a spare firetruck balloon amongst them. Brett had put together snack plates for us all to feed off of. There was a large pile of presents that Gabby and I had sat down and opened. Expressing our gratitude through each one, Gabby tearing up far more than she'd like to admit at just about every present.

We had more than enough for baby Jesse after today. We had a travel system that included a car seat and stroller, two different types of rocking seats, more clothes and diapers than I knew what to do with. The guys had gotten us a highchair, basinet, and rocker that they said was meant to stay here so that Jesse could come here any time after his birth and feel just as at home as we did. That comment had tears in my eyes that I struggled to hold back for the first time that day. I knew the hidden meaning behind these particular gifts. They had more meaning than just Jesse feeling at home at 51. The unspoken words, or at least the way I took it, was that these things were here for if I was a single parent and Jesse needed to be here. They were here to make life easier if the worst happened.

I wondered if Gabby had caught onto this, or if it was just me reading too much into it and being emotional.

The guys had loaded what they could into my truck and we all now sat around, talking and enjoying each other's company. I couldn't keep my eyes off Gabby. She had been the happiest and most carefree today that I had seen her in longer than I could remember.

Things had been complicated with us even after I got home. We had our good days, but things had hit a low as well. We had not yet had a real conversation about us since I got home, even though we had all the prime opportunity to with both being stuck at home not working. I think that was actually part of what kept us from the conversation. Knowing that if it was bad, or caused a fight, we would be stuck together in very close quarters for the next couple weeks to deal with it.

So, for the most part, we kept things light. The truth was that love was still there between us, and it always would be. We had shared some very short, timid kisses over the past few weeks; comforting each other how we knew too, but never getting out of line. We had not talked or expanded on the few brief kisses we had shared, and I knew we probably needed too.

There were times we acted like a couple and there were times we were distant, and pulling away. Her distance coming from his current state and he was sure what caused him to be in this state. His distance coming from her prognosis. Ever since she told him about her being admitted to the hospital, about the possibility of her losing her life when their child was born... It had hit him hard. He was doing his best to deal with it on his own and be strong for her. He was terrified if he was being honest with himself, and he wasn't sure how to deal with these emotions. Fear and guilt consumed him.

Then there was the happiness he felt as well. The happiness of knowing they were bringing a child into the world. The happiness of spending so much time together.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Hermann leaned against the wall with him, taking in the conversations around them in the common room.

It's silent for a moment before Hermann finally speaks softly. "How you feeling Lieutenant?"

"Better every day. Appointment later this week should let me know when I'll be back."

Hermann nods, "And uh, how have things been between you two? I know the last time I was over to drop off Cindy's lasagna you two were a little rocky."

I nod, remembering us getting particularly on each other's nerves that day, it was easy to do when we were spending every day together in such close proximity; as well as Gabby's pregnancy hormones. "We uh, we're navigating it." I say simply.

Hermann gives me a look and I sigh. "It's been rocky since I got out of the hospital. It's just a lot for us to deal with, you know? We were on unclear water before we both ended up in the hospital, now with all the added stress on us both it just makes it all more unclear and harder to navigate." I confide softly. "We are doing our best, just not trying to rock the boat."

Hermann nods in understanding. "Casey, I get why you two are avoiding the tough conversation, I do. But you and I both know it's not helping either of you. Unclear ground with a baby on the way is not the ground you want to be on."

I sigh, nodding my head. I know he is right. "I know. I just..." Taking a breath I try to find the right words for this situation. "I don't know what to do right now, or where we stand. I don't know where the right place for us to be standing even is. 6 weeks ago, I woke up from gunshot wounds to my chest and I thought things couldn't get worse from there and then Gabby was telling me about her and the baby, and..." I have to stop and breathe through the emotions taking over me. "I found out Gabby could very well die if she has this baby and I haven't been able to think straight since. I know we need to talk and figure things out, but I can't have that conversation with her when everything is so up in the air. I'm stuck. I don't know how we are going to do this right now, how I'm going to do this without her…" I choke on my words, finally having to stop before my emotions get the best of me.

"You two are the strongest people I know Casey. Gabby is a fighter. Trust me. You'll get through. You see that girl right over there." Hermann says and I can help but cast my eyes to Gabby once more. She was sitting on the couch, Severide on one end, Mouch at the other. I could see her struggling to stay awake. It had been a long day after all. I was happy she was at least resting, her body leaned up against Kelly and her feet in Mouch's lap as she ran her hand over her stomach every few moments. There was a content smile on her face that I loved to see. "You don't realize it yet, but she's a superhero… She is going to come through this, and when she does, when you see her being a mother... She's going to amaze you in ways you didn't even know were possible. Trust me."

Dawson

I give Kelly a quick hug as he walks out the door, thanking him once again for following us home to help Matt carry in all the presents from the truck. Matt had fought against it, ensuring he could handle it, but I breathed a sigh of relief when Kelly pulled up behind us anyways. Kelly squeezes my shoulder before turning to go, letting me know he would see us in the morning after shift.

I flip the lock of the back door before turning the kitchen light off and move into the living room. I smile when I see the pile of presents sitting there and my heart soars, we had an amazing family.

Today had felt like a roller coaster of emotions. What 51 had done for us was something I would never forget and was immensely grateful for. The happiness I felt today was something for the record books, especially for me lately. But today was also a realization for me. As we opened all the presents and all the excitement around meeting Jesse set it, it hit me harder than it had in the past few weeks.

What if I didn't live to meet Jesse?

What if something went wrong? What if I die? What would that mean for Casey? What would that mean for Jesse?

The thought of Jesse growing up without out me broke my heart and the thought of Casey having to do this alone...

I had done my best to push those thoughts over the last few weeks, but ever since Dr. Turner said the words placenta previa, my world had been spinning in slow motion.

For the most part, I was able to push it away, focus on Matt and his healing alone, but there were days I couldn't let it go. I couldn't stop my mind from racing through all the possible situations that could occur. Today was one of those days.

Matt walks into the room and pulls me from my thoughts. "Hey." I say softly, and it's then I notice the look on his face.

"How you feeling?" He asks, clearing his throat.

"What's wrong?" I question, ignoring his question, the look on his face the only thing on my mind.

"Can we talk?" He asks and I take a shuttering breath, I knew it was time to finally talk.

I nod my head, knowing as much as I wanted to, we couldn't ignore this anymore.

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