Kelsey smiles. She's watching Clay testing the water with his elbow. Casey laid beside him on the changer mat. She snakes her arms around Clay's neck and kisses him "I'm sorry"
"Hey.." He smiles, sighing "Me too!" He pulls her around on to his lap, then holding her cheeks in his hands and brushing the loose strands of hair from her face, he gently kisses her.
"So, we ready to go?" she sighs letting go of him "With the bath I mean"
"Um...yeah I think so. Do you think it feels okay?" She puts her hand in water and nods. He smiles contented " Do you wanna get him undressed. I think I have everything, towel, sponge, baby wash. Getting prepped for mission, is easier than this."
"Okay, c'mon little man" She smiles picking him up "Daddy's gonna give you a BUDS induction. So, I hope you like the water."
"You know he doesn't have to, like the water." He smiles "Sonny hates it"
"Oh, really? Wow! A frogman that hates water, that's Sonny I guess. So how does that work out?"
"Well.." he laughs " it's not so much the water he hates, more what's in it really."
"Yeah well, that's the good thing about my job. I don't have to go in the water too many times. I mean not many aircraft carriers out there that sink" she smiles as she takes Casey's nappy off "You pee on me again and there' ll be trouble" She holds him up in front of her face, kissing his cheek "You wanna do it ? I mean, this was your idea. Then if he hates it I can blame you"
She smiles, handing Casey over. She's trying to keep the conversation light, smooth over the tensions of earlier and also try and find a suitable opportunity to mention about Alex's impending visit.
"Okay.." Clay's beaming and he lowers him gently into the warm water but as his body touches the wet warmth, Casey's hands and legs got into a, spasm like, over drive. His body goes ridged, he turns bright red and starts screaming.
"Oh my god!" Kelsey sits back laughing "I don't think he like it! If you were hoping for a third gen frogman, then I'm not so sure!"
"Hey, hey Casey. Shhh!" Clay tries to sooth him, splashing the warm water over his body, then slowly, after a few more minutes he starts to settle, relaxing against Clay's words and touch. Clay keeping his strong-arm underneath him supporting him in the bath.
Kelsey smiles watching them both "Clay..." she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath about to tell him about Alex arriving but then watching just how much he's enjoying bathing Casey, she hesitates, and not wanting to spoil the moment she keeps quiet.
"Clay.." she leans her head against his shoulder "... I'm sorry, about earlier. I guess we're both just tired "
"Yeah, you're right. Look, we'll talk it all through again, give it a few more days for things to settle into a routine. Things might seem different"
"Yeah!" she leans forward turning his head towards her, kissing him. She smiles as Casey starts crying again "Wait! I'll get my phone we need to get a picture" She takes her phone from her pocket; she can see more of Alex's texts and she ignores them while she takes several photos of the two of them.
Clay lifts him out, wrapping him in a towel and drying him. He continues crying "You think he's hungry?"
"I ." She looks at her watch and frowns "I'll try feeding him and then do you wanna go shopping? I need to get something to wear on Sunday. If we're still going to this barbecue?"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Hmmm! Kelsey sighs, smoothing down the white shirt over the black leggings. She pulls in her stomach, turning sideways in the full-length mirror.
She looks up, and over her shoulder at the crying sound in the bedroom doorway and Clay staring at her "What ?"
"Nothin' just wondered what you're doing?"
"Oh, I was just trying to decide if this would be okay, for the Barbecue on Sunday. Do you think it looks alright?"
He smiles coming over, standing behind her "What you think, does Mommy look okay?" He smiles at Casey, he's crying, and Clay has him tucked against his chest, one of his hands holding him tight, rubbing his back "I told you in the store, it looks fine. I really don't know why you're worrying so much"
"I know" she sighs " It's just... I don't know these people, so I would rather meet them not looking like I had three hours sleep and baby sick on me. If you know what I mean."
"I know." he kisses her neck "But, considering you just had a baby, you look great."
Hmmm! She frowns unsure if that's really a compliment or not "That's debatable, but it'll do. You know, I'll be glad when I get in my jeans again"
"Here..." he offers Casey over " talking of baby puke. I just changed him, but I think he needs a feed"
"Okay, just um... just hold him a minute, while I change this top. Seeing as I'm on clothes rations. I don't wanna get it ruined, before Sunday. Last thing I need is to be going in one of your tee shirts"
She pulls the top over her head standing in her bra, they're disturbed by the sound of knocking at the door"Here you'll have to take him while I get the door." he looks at his watch "Oh surprise, Ash is early. Guess that means he'll be in a hurry to get off then"
"Clay, come here" she lays Casey on the bed "This, with your dad, it's gonna be okay. You know that?" she kisses his lips "Just relax and don't let him wind you up!"
"Hmmm, you know, I'm not sure why I let you convince me that this was a good idea. If I had my way, then he'd have nothing to do with us, or him!"
"Clay, we talked about this. We agreed. He's your dad, Casey's grandad, and he needs to know. You can't keep him a secret forever" Hmmm! "Clay, trust me, it will be fine"
"Yeah I hope you're right!"
She puts her hand on his waist, pulling him towards her, snuggling into his neck, dropping soft kisses against it. "I am, trust me!"
The knock sounds on the door again, harder this time.
"Clay ..." She smiles as he heads to the door " just play nice!" She sighs, then smiling at Casey, while she changes into one of Clay's tee shirts. "Well little man, it's time for you to meet your grandad, so best behaviour"
"Ash!" Clay's tone is abrupt as he opens the door.
Ash is stood there checking the time on his watch "Oh you are here. I was just about to go. You know I have a meeting at the studio, so I can't stay long."
"Well best you come in then!" Clay sighs, he can already feel the hairs on his neck prickle with annoyance, watching as Ash perches himself on the arm of the couch.
" So what's so important that you couldn't tell me over the phone?" He checks his watch again then looks up frowning at the sound of a baby crying loudly "What the hell's that noise? You got a TV in the bedroom now?"
"Um.. no. No. Look, that's sorta what I wanted to talk to you about. I've got something to tell you"
Ash folds his arms and stares at Clay "Well, get on with it! I already told you I have to be at the studio"
"Um... yeah, look I don't really know how to explain this. It's all a bit sudden. It kinda came out of the blue for everyone, me included. But..."They both look around, noticing Kelsey stood in the bedroom doorway
"Hey!" she smiles
Ash looks at her and frowns "Okay, what the hell's going on? You got a new woman? You never said anything before. Surely this is not why you got me here for. I mean, we could've done this anytime."
"Yeah, but..." he stutters "... it's a bit more complicated"
"Yeah..." Ash frowns, confused. As he looks at Kelsey again he can hear the crying sounds of the baby he can see nestled in her arms.
"Look, I'll just..." she points to the bedroom "I'll just sort him out"
Ash furrows his brow and drops his voice to a hush "Oh my god, Clay! Are you seriously seein' a woman who has a child? " he frowns "What the hell are you playing at? How much more complicated do you want in your life. Do you know, how hard it's gonna be. Not only with what you do, but bringing up another man's baby. I mean c'mon Clay, you've had some strange girlfriends lately, but this ... this is an instant family. You know, I seriously don't get you sometimes!"
"Yeah you know, this is so typical of you. You have to see the worst"
"Oh, c'mon Clay, I'm just being honest. Being a seal is hard enough, but someone else's baby!?" he sighs "So, what did Jason say about this? "
Kelsey's back, she hands Casey to Clay as Ash frowns at them "So how old is he?" guessing a boy from the blue outfit that the new-born is wearing.
"Um... he's, three days old". Kelsey smiles hesitantly, she can hear the tone in Ash's voice and he's not happy.
"You can't be serious? Three day old!" Ash looks shocked. "Alright explain! What the hell are you playing at?"
Clay sighs, turning the baby around in his arms, he passes him forward. Ash frowns, resisting taking him. "You want an explanation? Here you go! Ash Spenser,... meet Casey Spenser. Your grandson!"
Ash's reluctant in his shock to take the baby in his arms hesitates questioning Clay "My what?" His mouth drops open "Wait, what did you say...grandson? How the hell can this be my grandson? How long have you two been dating? Clay, you never told me last month when I saw you that you even had a girlfriend, and you know, the last time I checked, babies take nine months"
"Yeah well, that's where it gets kinda complicated!"
"Hi, I'm Kelsey" She puts her hand out "pleased to meet you"
"Um... Ash.." Ash shakes her hand ".. Ash Spenser"
"I know." She smiles.
Casey won't stop crying and she takes him back in her arms "Look I think he needs feeding. I'll take him through there, then you two can talk. Clay will explain everything." She smiles "Ash, it was nice to meet you"
Clay goes to the refrigerator; he lets out a long sigh trying to calm himself, just being in close proximity to Ash aggravates him and he takes out two beers "You want one?"
"Yeah, yeah it looks like I'm gonna need one! I can't wait to hear this explanation"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
"Oh, c'mon please, just do this, then at least you might sleep." She sighs rubbing her eyes in frustration. Casey's still resisting feeding properly.
She looks up at the coughing sound as Ash taps gently on the door frame "Hey!" she smiles, anxiously pulling the shawl over her breast, covering herself where she's feeding.
Ash smiles "Look I just came to say goodbye, for now. I have a... a meeting I need to get to. I wasn't kinda expecting anything like this when Clay asked me over, or I'd have rearranged"
"No, it's fine. I understand. I just thought he should tell you in person" She sighs loudly as Ash steps forward towards the bed.
"He's really beautiful and I can see Clay's really proud"
"Clay's a great dad" she smiles "A little anxious maybe, but he'll be fine"
"Yeah, he will. You know um... my son, he can be a little full on at times. You need to cut him some slack. His issues, well... some of that's my fault. He... he might have told you that I wasn't always the best father, and well Clay, he always feels like he has to prove something. Prove he's the best, best at languages, best seal, best sniper ...and now I guess, best father. That may mean he gets a bit full on at times."
"Don't worry, I got it in hand" She smiles. Checking on how Casey's feeding,or not, she sighs again.
"Something wrong ?" Ash frowns, seeing the anxiety in her expression
"No, no. I'm good. Oh, it's just, he um... I mean feeding. We've not quite got the hang of it yet, so it gets a little frustrating, for both of us."
Hmmm! Ash smiles. "You know I remember, Clay's mom, she struggled at the beginning." he sits himself on the side of the bed beside her "... found it difficult. Can I make a suggestion?"
"Yeah" she smiles at him "Yeah sure"
"If you put a pillow underneath him, it'll take some of his weight, so he's not so heavy on your... you know. Then it makes it more comfortable" He pulls one of the pillows from the other side of the bed "May I? " he lifts her arm stuffing the pillow underneath "How's that feel?"
"Yeah. " She nods "Yeah actually, that feels quite good. You're right he's not so heavy. Thanks. I'll give it a try"
"She used to try laying on her side too. Said that helped. I don't know if it does I mean, obviously I'm no expert just..."
He stops turning to look as Clay stands, frowning at them from the doorway "What's going on?"
"Clay, your Dad, he was just giving me some tips, on feeding " She smiles. She can feel the tension coming from Clay's direction "Thanks Ash. It was really nice to meet you at long last. Don't be a stranger. Come and see us when you've got more time."
Clay folds his arms as he continues to lean on the door frame, he laughs "Seriously? You, you're handing out parenting advice? Jesus, where the hell do you get off... "
"Clay!" Kelsey sighs "Clay don't do this. He was just trying to be helpful"
"Yeah and I told you before he came, don't fall for this routine. Look, I think it's time you went, don't you? I'm sure you have a chat show to host or something"
Ash sighs "Yeah, you're right I do need to get off." He leans forward and kisses Kelsey's cheek "Nice to meet you" He strokes his finger gently against the now sleeping Casey's face "See you again soon, grandson."
" I don't think so" Clay scoffs, gesturing for Ash to leave. He glares at Kelsey before he follows Ash out "Hey, don't get any ideas about visiting too often, cos it's not gonna happen. You didn't want any part of my life growing up so why would you want any in his!"
Ash stands in the hallway turning back to face Clay before he leaves "You know son, while I'm handing out advice. Here's some. You need to relax a little. We all know you're gonna make a great dad and no one is questioning that. But Son, if you're not careful, and you try too hard, then you might push everything you want away"
Clay laughs "Oh my god, listen to you! First parenting advice and now relationships? Ash just go!"
"Clay, ... " Ash takes a breath he changes his mind about what he was going to say. It would only end in an argument and doesn't want that "Congratulations. He's really beautiful, you should be really proud"
"Oh I am. And for your information, I'm gonna be nothing like you. Because unlike you, I will always be here for my son. No matter what, he will come first!"
Ash smiles putting his hand on Clay's shoulder "Yeah, yeah I'm sure you will. Look Clay, I'll catch you around soon"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Saturday
Mmmm! Kelsey groans. She wakes at the sound of knocking the door and she gets up from the couch where she'd fallen asleep. Shit! She rubs her head "Just coming!"
She checks on Casey. He's still asleep in his rocker, and she gets up, opening the door. "Oh! Oh hey?" she frowns looking at the woman standing in front of her "Sorry, can I help you?"
"Kelsey?... Hi, I'm Naima, Perry. Ray's wife. He works with Clay"
"Oh um... yeah, yeah sure I remember, the bag, when I came out of hospital" she smiles "um... what can I do for you? Is everything alright? I mean... with BRAVO is everything okay?"
"Oh yeah, yeah everything is fine. Sorry, I just popped by, to see if you're okay"
"Yeah I'm fine. Look Clay's not here. Their... well I guess you know, training"
"Yeah, that's why I'm here." She smiles "Clay, he um... he asked Ray, if I'd drop by and check on you. Seeing as it's the first time you were on your own. His first day back since the baby was born"
Kelsey laughs "You serious? Okay... okay well if he asked you then I guess you better come in"
"Oh thanks. I mean, only if it's convenient?"
"Yeah I just ... I just fell asleep. I just fed him. Look the place, it's a bit of a mess. I was gonna clean up but...I haven't had a chance yet"
"Hey.." Naima smiles putting her hand reassuringly on her arm "I've been there, twice! How about I put the kettle on? Make us a coffee."
"A coffee? But no lecture!" she laughs
"What?" Naima frowns
"Oh, sorry just me being facetious" she laughs "Clay, he's got this banned foods list, coffee being one thing on his do's and don'ts of breastfeeding ... Just don't tell him that I have chocolate stashed in the back of the fridge "
"Banned foods list? Oh, I don't think Ray would have dared to have gone that far!" she laughs
"Yeah well don't worry, Clay's been warned about what might happen to that list if he carries on!"
-o-o-o-o-o
They sit drinking their coffee's as Casey starts to cry. Kelsey responds with a tired long sigh out loud.
"You okay?" Naima frowns
"Yeah. Just.. well did you um... did you find it hard? You know, breast feeding, was it easy? I know it's only a few days but, I just... I just feel like I need a break. It seems relentless, and exhausting"
"Have you thought about getting some bottles and expressing? Clay could take over then occasionally. That's what we did"
Kelsey sighs feeling slightly vindicated as she recalls the argument when they were out yesterday about buying bottles. "Yeah , we talked about it, but ...well Clay's not keen on the idea. Says we need to persevere, I think, he thinks we're failing, if we don't, you now. But..." she sighs "...I dunno. I'm not sure that it's for me, breastfeeding. I just don't feel comfortable, out and about, in front of people. I mean I'm not saying there's anything to be ashamed of but...it's just not me. Do you get what I mean?"
"Tell you what..." Naima smiles " I could have a word on Sunday, maybe drop it into conversation, about the bottles. What you say?" Kelsey nods at her as Naima grips her hand "It'll get easier, it's still early days. Clay is right you need to take things slowly. Look I'm always here if you want anything, advice, help anything. Is there anything else you need help with"?
"Well um... now you mention it, Sunday, this barbecue, would it be okay if I get a friend to come along? I mean they would meet us there. Only they're flying in from the UK, bringing some of my things, clothes, paperwork etcetera. I didn't know about the barbecue, when they said they were coming, or I'd have rearranged"
"Oh yeah that's totally fine. Everyone's welcome. I'm sure it will be nice for you to have someone you know there. I mean it can be a bit overwhelming, so many strangers. Look Kelsey, it's been nice chatting, but I need to go. Is there anything else you need a hand with before I do? And remember you can always call and ask if there is. You're part of BRAVO family now."
"Actually, while you're here, do you know where I go to sort out a passport, for a child? " she smiles "I mean where I to go to register him"
"Yeah ..." Naima frowns "to be honest I think you better speak to Clay about that".
"I did, he didn't know, I just thought with you having kids, you might know?"
"No, I... I mean, no... I don't know. Just sort it out with Clay, between you"
Kelsey frowns watching the anxious look on Naima's face "Oh.. oh, I see. Did he say something? Clay, did he say something about a passport?"
"No, no not that I know. Look, my advice would be, don't rush yourself with things. You need time to recover"
"Yeah!" Kelsey sighs "Yeah, well you're right I need to get on too. I'm sure you're busy" As she puts her hand on the door to let Naima out there's another knock on the door "Woah!" she laughs It's like Piccadilly circus here today!"
"Sorry what?"
"Oh... ignore me, English joke! ... Ash?" she frowns "Hi, again!"
Ash smiles "Naima, how are you?"
"I'm good, thanks for asking. Clay isn't here, they're training"
"Oh, okay. We'll actually it's... Kelsey I came to see, well and my grandson. You know I couldn't stop thinking about this. I kept repeating I am a grandfather in the mirror last night. I just can't believe my son has a son! We'll anyway, I just brought you something, something that might help"
"Err ... look why don't you come in. Naima thanks, for dropping by. We'll see you Sunday" She watches her leave and closes the door, letting out a long sigh "Ash...so what can I do for you?"
"Oh, like I said, I brought you this." he hands her the large curved pillow.
"What is it?"
"It's a...nursing pillow. I read up and...well, it might help, with feeding."
"You read up?" Kelsey laughs under her breath Like father like son! "Oh, okay thank you, that's very kind of you to think about me. Look, why don't you sit down a minute. Would you like a coffee?"
"Um... yeah sure"
"He's awake now, if you wanna pick him up?" Watching as Ash scoops Casey into his arms, she can't help but smile.
"So ...how are things?" Ash turns questioning her
"Yeah, yeah things are good. Different, but good"
"Clay said you used to be in the Navy, too? And that's why you kept quiet about seeing each other?"
"Yeah. Not so much used to be, I still am.. technically. I mean I have a few more weeks to decide if I'm going back, or leaving"
"Oh...oh I thought the way Clay said. I mean he didn't make it sound like that was an option, staying in."
"I think he's hoping" she smiles awkwardly "He's not so keen on the idea"
"But you... you think you might?"
"Is it wrong that I want to?" she shrugs " I know it's selfish and that he should be priority, and he is, always. But...you know, I worked hard to get my Lieutenant commission, the position I have, it didn't come over night. I'd just ...just like to know I reached my full potential with it"
She looks down apologetically, biting her lip nervously "I know you'll probably agree with Clay and I know with deployment, at sea for weeks, that it's not gonna be easy. He's right I should turn it down, shouldn't I?"
"I don't know, really that's something you and Clay have to work out between yourselves. But.. I will say being a SEAL, it's kinda different than regular Navy. First of all it's not regular! It's drop of the hat stuff. One day here, one day there, life or death. A baby, it's a hard thing to bring into that mix. I mean sure people do kids, but with two of you in service. The odds aren't great of that working out"
"So why does it have to be me that compromises? Why do I have to give up my career?"
"What you're gonna ask Clay to give up his team?" Ash now frowns at her concerned "Cos that's a big ask. Clay's never wanted anything else in his life but to be in the teams. To ask him to give it up is...it's like asking him to give away part of himself"
"I know, I know how much it means to him. But I... I just don't see why it has to be me that sacrifices everything. What I want. I mean, he wanted this baby too ...more in some ways . I just wanna discuss the options that's all, I'm not saying I will go back but...he won't even talk about it. You know, maybe you could talk to him. Get to him to see?"
"Look Kelsey, I'll help you in any way I can, but don't ask me to talk to Clay about this.I can't do that. This is between you and him. But I will tell you, if he had to... give it up. Give up his team, for him... then he will!" he smiles at Casey" So it's down to you if you'd wanna ask him to do that"
She smiles watching as Ash sits back cooing over the baby. She looks at her watch "Listen would you do me a favour? Would you watch him, just for half an hour? I need to go grab a couple of things from the shops, and also there's a mother and baby exercise class, I wanted to sign up for. We didn't get time yesterday. I'll be really quick, and he's been fed and changed. Please? I don't know how long Clay's going to be and I just... "
"Err... yeah, yeah sure. We can do that can't we?" He smiles at Casey "I mean how hard can it be?"
"Look , I promise I'll be quick, the gym is literally down the road." she smiles grabbing her bag and jacket and kisses Casey's cheek "Thanks for this Ash. It's been good to talk, to someone. And you know, the things Clay's said, about you and him, I didn't know how you'd be about all this but...you've been really great! " She smiles again "Hey you, just be a good boy for your grandad okay. I 'll be as quick as I can"
o-o-o-o-o-o
"Hey c'mon, Shhh! Your mommy will be back soon." Ash sighs looking at his watch, an hour has passed since Kelsey left. Shit! "Yeah, I know you're hungry. She'll be back very soon, I promise"
He turns around towards the door, smiling, as he hears the sound of the key in the lock "Thank god! Here she is..." he stops his face drops as Clay stands in the doorway, a confused frown on his face.
"What the fuck is going on here? I could hear him crying down the hallway. And what the hell are you doing here? Where's Kelsey?"
"Clay, calm down. She's um... she's just gone out for a few minutes, just needed to get a couple of things. She said she wouldn't be long"
"Give him here, now!" Clay drops his bags and snatches him back from Ash's arms, cuddling him tight to his chest, trying to sooth his crying "How longs she been gone?"
"Oh, not long. Forty mins an hour tops! She just needed to get something from the store and there was some gym class, she wanted to sign up for. She probably just got delayed."
"Gym class?" Clay frowns "The baby gym class? The one she saw yesterday. Jesus Christ... " Clay sighs exasperated "We already had this discussion about it being too soon . You know what this is about don't you? This is about getting her fitness back, about going back in the Navy. Well that's not happening, not yet. Why can't she see he should be her priority?"
"Clay, just calm alright. She can see. I just.. I just think she just wants to look at her options. Son, why don't you just talk to her about it? I'm sure she's not going to rush any decisions right now"
"Look why don't you just go! Why the hell are you here anyway? I told you yesterday not to come anymore"
"I bought her something, something to help with feeding the baby, cos she was struggling"
"Struggling? Feeding. Oh, listen to you! When the hell did you start dishing out parenting advice, doing the good Samaritan routine?" Hmmm! "A man who was never there for his own son, now giving how to be a good parent advice. You know what Ash, just go! Get out!"
"Son, please! Just..."
"No, you listen. I don't need you encouraging her with this fantasy about having it all, trying to be a good mom and get back in the navy. We both know it won't work. Something has to give and for me to do this job, be a seal, that can't happen. I mean, who the hell's gonna look after him while she's at sea for months?" hmmm "Where are his parents gonna be? Not here for sure"
Clay..."
"Just go Ash!"
While their arguing Kelsey walks in the door behind them with some large bags "Oh Clay! You're back. I ... I didn't expect you back yet!"
"No! No, I bet you didn't... you hoped you'd get back before I found out, right"
She ignores him and smiles at Ash "Has he been alright?"
"Fine." Ash smiles awkwardly " Well until a short while ago, I think he needs feeding"
"Sorry about that, I got caught up talking, forgot the time."
"What at your gym class?" Clay frowns "I thought we discussed this yesterday?"
She takes a deep breath calming the annoyance she feels from the aggressive tone he's using "Well we didn't exactly discuss it did we Clay. You just said we didn't have time to look into it. I just thought while Ash was here, I'd pop back and check it out. Take a walk out of these four walls!"
"I told you yesterday, it's too soon to think about exercise. Kelsey, you had a baby just four days ago and now you wanna hit the gym?!"
"It's not like that, and you know it. It's just a few gentle exercises, and some time out for both me and him. The class is from birth, there'll be other babies there, so it's ideal. The guy that runs it, he said because my core fitness is still there so it shouldn't be long .. before I get some levels back"
"Oh, ... oh, there we have it! Yeah, I bet he did! All those new moms, I bet that's how he gets his kicks"
"Clay, son c'mon be fair. It's not gonna hurt...I'm sure they don't push anything if it's for new moms they know what they're doing"
"You! You get the hell out; I'm done with your fatherly advice. And don't bother coming back!"
"Clay... what the hell? Just stop this Don't talk to your father like that. What's got into you?"
Clay laughs "Yeah, yeah I knew what would happen. I told you. You've bought this whole facade of his, is not me it's him routine. You know what..." he hands the still crying Casey to her" Go feed your son he needs you!"
She takes a deep breath. Fuming and hurt inside, tears roll down her cheeks even though she tries desperately not to let them. Fuck! She tries to hold it together, but her emotions are all over the place and she can't "Clay... what the hell's go into you today. C'mon, please stop being like this" she can't stop crying and takes Casey into bedroom.
Ash stands in the doorway watching him
"What!? You still here?I told you to go!"
"Oh, I'm going. But, you keep this up Clay, you'll end up paying a price, mark my words"
"Yeah well it's a good job your words mean nothing then!" he slams the door shut. Fuck! He sits himself down on the couch, his head in his hands rubbing his hair "I need a drink!" He takes a deep breath, picks up his jacket and leaves. Slamming the door behind him.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-
He pulls up the stool next to Sonny at the bar. "Clay?" Sonny frowns concerned "What the hell're you doing here? I thought you went home? Be with that new baby of yours."
"Beer and whiskey shot!" he nods at the barman "I just needed some time out. Something wrong with that?"
"No" Sonny frowns staring at him "You alright? You and Kelsey had words? Something happened?"
"No!" he sighs "Yeah... kinda! Oh, I don't know Sonny. Its Ash, as soon as he gets involved in anything things go to shit!"
"Hey, you know you should ignore the ass! So, what's he done now?"
He sighs loudly taking a long swig from the bottle of beer and knocking the chaser shot back
"I don't know Sonny. I thought once he, Casey, was here, then all this stuff about her going back in the Navy would stop. You know I hoped. I mean, I know how much it means to her but... just god! This is gonna be hard enough without trying to get childcare for two deployments. I mean if she's at sea, what the hell do I do if I get spun up? And when we're both deployed... who the hell looks after him? Did you know she went to the gym today?!"
"To the gym!?" Sonny frowns "Seriously? I mean, that's a little soon right? I mean that's pushing it, it's only been a few days. Should she be doin' that, medically?"
"Yeah that's what I told her! She just won't listen, to anything. Now she's talking about passports. Sonny, do you think I'm gonna lose my son?"
"Hey .. " Sonny sits up looking at Clay "Hey c'mon, what the hell makes you think that? I mean she can't take him right. I thought she can't fly, not soon and well..."
"I don't know. But you just you hear all the time don't you, in the papers. Mom's takes their kids on vacation and don't come back. Father never sees them again!"
"Yeah but... she's not thinking of taking him is she? Did she say something. I thought you two were fine " Sonny takes a breath "Did she say, she's gonna go back to the UK? Clay, what the hell's brought this on?"
"She said she has to go back, get some stuff. You know sort her apartment in the UK. But what if she gets there, then decides not to come back? I mean shes got a life there and this... this asshole marine guy, Alex. I mean what if when she gets back they... they hook up?"
"Hey now stop this. She's not said they're going to, and anyway, I thought you told him not to have contact any more. Clay he's thousands of miles away. You're not worried about him seriously? A marine? C'mon Clay you can handle this, right"
"Yeah I did tell him not to call. But I think he's still been in touch. Sonny I saw texts, yesterday. I guessed they were him. I mean who else would she call, she doesn't have any friends here"
"Oh, c'mon Clay it could be anyone she's texting, it doesn't just have to be this guy! You know you're starting to sound paranoid. You just need to relax. It'll be fine."
"Yeah well I'm taking care of it"
"What you mean taking care of it ? Clay what have you done?"
"I um...I got an appointment, with a lawyer." he sighs as Sonny stares at him "Oh, don't look at me like that. It's just for advice, to find out my rights. You know, see where I stand. That she can't take him" he drinks his beer he can feel the look of apprehension that Sonny's giving him right now.
"Well... yeah I guess, it don't do no harm to know where you stand. But Clay, be careful, she finds out you involving lawyers it could get messy, know what I'm sayin ? Especially if she thinks you don't trust her. Women hate that sort of thing. Maybe you'd be better to speak to her?"
"Maybe. But for now, well I'm gonna get him a passport. From what I read its easier for me to get it, as a US citizen, I got US documents, but I need a witness, to vouch I'm the parent. Will you come with me?"
Sonny sighs out loud "I guess, yeah. Yeah you know I will. You gonna tell her what you're doin ?"
Clay drink his beer thinking "No! No not yet. Look, I'm just hoping it'll pass, how she's feeling. You know that maybe her hormones, she's all over the place, crying, not sleeping and stuff so maybe she'll change her mind, when she's thinking more clearly, when we get in a routine"
"Clay... take it slow. Cos you know this past week, well it's been. .. Pheww! Well a mind fuck for all of us. I mean, not even a week ago she turn up and you find out she's still pregnant, then in just a few days you have a baby! That's gonna mess with anyones thinking" Sonny orders two more whiskey and smiles "But what you do have...is a beautiful baby boy. Cheers!"
"Cheers! Yeah, yeah I do" Clay smiles "And Sonny, I'm gonna do whatever I have to make sure I keep him right here with me"
o-o-o-o-o-o
Clay stands in the bedroom doorway and lets out a long sigh. Kelsey's asleep, Casey lying on a pillow beside her, his eyes wide open as Clay stares at him. He smiles leaning over the baby
"Hey .." quietly he smiles "how you doin' ? Is Mommy sleeping? Shhh!..." he picks him up laying him back in his crib and kisses him stoking his cheek "..now go to sleep!"
Mmmm! Kelsey groans opening her eyes "Hey.." she frowns "you're back. I was worried. Where did you go?"
Clay kneels beside the bed "Just had a drink with Sonny.." he strokes her hair "look I'm sorry. I was tired. Training was shit. I couldn't concentrate and I shouldn't have taken it out on you"
She nods sighing, her fingers stroking his cheek "No, no you shouldn't have" she smiles "or your dad. He didn't do anything wrong. Clay, he was trying to help!"
"Forget about Ash.." he kisses her lips as she opens the quilt on the bed indicating for him to get in beside her. She turns over, so her back is against his chest and pull his arms around her tight, as he kisses her neck "I love you Kelsey. So much. I couldn't ever face losing either of you"
"Hey...it's not gonna happen" She closes her eyes "Now, just go to sleep. It'll all be better tomorrow"
She lays in the dark listening to Clay's deep breathing as he sleeps, noticing the light from her phone on the beside drawers as it silently receives a text. Shit! She sighs regretfully. Then closing her eyes, she takes another deep breath, pulling Clay's arm around her body even tighter.