MIDORIYA
I was hoping Todoroki would come and see me but he hasn't. I have only been out of the hospital a few days now following our finals. Bakugou was my partner for finals. He did everything I thought he would until the very end. He finally showed a glimpse at being a real hero. I feel bad he got hurt but I tried to warn him. Of course, he didn't listen. All I can think about is how Todoroki didn't come to see me. I wanted to see him. I miss him. I sigh deeply.
I handled kissing Todoroki completely wrong. It was my first kiss, I didn't expect it to happen the way it did. Ever since then he doesn't talk to me, he refuses to even look at me. It made me feel worse than I already do. Todoroki is my friend. Now it feels like he isn't anymore. I sigh again as I get close to the park. I search around the park for All Might. He is sitting on his usual bench. He spots me beginning to smile. I feel so happy and glad to see him. I only trust talking to him about my feelings.
"Hi!" I exclaimed running over to him. I hug him as he lightly hugs me back.
"You're so full of spirit," he replies. If only he knew. I'm working hard to get my emotions under control. Some days are better than others. "I thought I hurt you."
"Never that!" I exclaim pulling away from him.
"Recovery girl was not too happy to see how I hurt you and Bakugou," he explains. "I didn't mean to take things that far. Bakugou can be really stubborn." I chuckle.
"Yeah he can be that way," I reply. "He wouldn't listen to me….."
"But he did," replies All Might. "It took him a while to come around but he did. I was honestly impressed."
"Me too," I replied. "I didn't want to leave him but at that moment, I had to." All Might nods.
"I know that was really hard for you to do," he points out.
"It was," I admit. "I don't like leaving anyone behind. I want to be there to help save them." All Might nods in agreement.
"How are you really?" he asks. "You look like you have something on your mind. I know it can't be finals as you passed with flying colors."
"Just a little something…" I muttered. I can feel his eyes on me. "I had my first kiss but it was an accident…"
"An accident?" questions All Might. "Whatever do you mean my boy?" He actually looks really confused. I sigh again mostly thinking of what happened afterward.
"I meant what I said," I replied. "It was an accident. I was trying to hide um….something. Next thing I know we were staring at each other. I was kissing them before I knew it. I didn't ask, I wasn't even thinking about it. It's so embarrassing. I-I didn't want it to happen. I feel crazy and…."
"Slow down," says All Might making me realize I'm rambling. "Now you're saying you didn't want to kiss them?" I think about it and now I'm not so sure. Todoroki looked so beautiful at the time. The way he looked at me. I feel my cheeks heating up again thinking about it. The kiss was just as intense as it was in my dream except 10 times better. "Oh my…."
"What?" I asked.
"You're blushing," he states with a slight chuckle. "You always blush but this is different." I blush harder trying to decide if I should tell him it was Todoroki. I decide to keep that information to myself for now. I begin to fidget a little. "I won't judge you. Please continue….."
"We were looking at each other…," I explain slowly. "I was looking into their eyes…..they were so beautiful. I felt like…..I don't know….maybe everything in my life was going to be okay. At the same time, I could see this person felt just as much hurt. I wanted to see more so I leaned closer, then uh…..the kiss happened." All Might actually smiles.
"You're much too young for something this serious," he states.
"What do you mean?" I ask him with my voice low. I rub my burning cheeks trying to focus on what he wants to tell me.
"You sound like you have deep feelings for them," says All Might. "What you described sounds intense as well as intimate." Intimate? I don't know anything about being intimate. "Midoriya, I want you to focus on being the best hero you can be okay."
"I am," I reply. "I mean I will…..I'm just confused….." All Might sighs.
"That can happen…" he says slowly. I get the feeling he is hiding something. All Might seems to really want me to focus on my career of saving lives. I want to as well of course but I need to talk this out. I mean Todoroki isn't talking to me, it makes me grief. I bite my lip as I think of who else I can talk to. "What are you thinking right now?"
"I hurt that person feelings when I said the kiss was a mistake," I mutter.
"You said that?" asked All Might in shock.
"Yes, because it was an accident," I exclaim. He shakes his head.
"It wasn't an accident," says All Might. "You wanted to kiss them. You were taken in by whomever this person is. Your feelings were so strong at that moment you needed to express yourself. Did this person kiss you back?"
"I think so," I reply. "I mean it was so unplanned I think they were surprised too." I keep replaying the kiss over and over. I would totally be masturbating to it if I wasn't afraid of what Todoroki thinks about me.
"Are you focused on summer training camp ahead?" asked All Might.
"Yes," I reply. "I have been working hard."
"Good," he replies. "This training is not going to be easy. We want all the students to be trained at all times." I nod completely understanding. I talk with All Might some more regarding my training. What I should focus on and not focus on. I kind of wish I could train with Todoroki again. I not only enjoyed my time with him but I learned a lot. I get up finally deciding to walk home. I think I know who I am going to talk to about Todoroki. I trust that they can keep my secret. Now to figure out when is the best time to approach them.
TRAINING CAMP
Things have still been weird as I haven't been able to confide in my friend about Todoroki. He is still avoiding me. No one else has really noticed of course but it is still annoying me. We just made it through the forest having to fight our way here. I am a little tired I must admit. I wasn't expecting us to have to fight before we even got here. It would be easier if I could go 100% but I'm not there yet. If this isn't letting me know how hard training is going to be I don't know what else will.
Iida, Todoroki, I made it through the forest with little effort. Our trainers seem to be really impressed thus far. Despite being hit in the balls by this kid Kota things don't seem to be too bad. We get lined up to see which room we are staying in and who our roommate is. Makes me wonder how many other students before me have been here.
"Hey," says Uraraka walking over to me smiling. "You handled yourself pretty well back there."
"Yeah," I reply with a smile of my own. "I certainly tried my best. It was so exhausting though."
"Ditto," says Asui. "Uraraka and I are roommates, who did you get stuck with?"
"I don't know," I replied opening my paper revealing who I am staying with. I stare at the paper seeing Todoroki name written on there. I just glare at it hoping it will change.
"What's wrong?" asked Uraraka looking concerned.
"Nothing," I replied.
"Is it your roommate?" asked Asui. "Who is it?"
"It's just Todoroki," I reply. "No big deal."
"He is pretty cool," says Uraraka. "He seems like the perfect roommate. Very quiet, keeps to himself."
"Right," agrees Asui. "At least you didn't get stuck with Mineta." I chuckle because I'm very glad I didn't get stuck with him. I get along with everyone in class but Todoroki more so than the others. Well, that was before the kiss happened.
"You all can get washed up," says Aizawa. "Meet back here in one hour for dinner." I adjust my bag waving goodbye to Uraraka and Asui. I look at my room number making my way to my home for the next two weeks. Then we can officially enjoy summer. I'm actually a bit nervous but I have good reason to be. I get to the room and I don't hear any movement. I open the door not seeing Todoroki. The room is a simple design. It's small with one window in the center. Beneath the window is a nightstand. There is a twin bed to the left and one to the right. The beds have draws underneath for our belongings. I go over taking the bed on the right. I begin to pull out my items putting them up. By the time I am done, I still haven't seen Todoroki. Did he come to the room at all? I grab my bath items to head to the wash house.
I walk into the room and it is pretty big. I look around going up to an open sink. Several of the guys are already in here freshening up as well. We did seriously just get in a workout. I don't know about them but I am feeling really dirty.
"You know they have a hot spring here," says Mineta. I glance at him as he is speaking to Sero.
"I know," says Sero. "They said we can use it tomorrow. I can't wait."
"Why?" asked Bakugou. "It's just a fucking hot spring, no big deal."
"We will be next to the girls!" exclaims Mineta. "What if we can see them!" He can't be serious. "What's wrong Midoriya? You look horrified."
"Spying on the girls isn't cool," I reply before focusing on myself.
"It is just a peak," says Mineta. "It's not like I'm going to take things further than that." Bakugou rolls his eyes going back to washing his face.
"It just sounds bad," says Kaminair. "Although I like the idea of getting a look at them. Let's admit it, we got some hot girls in our class." Sero chuckles while Kirishima speaks up.
"You can't mean that," says Kirishima. "That is just fucking wrong. Would you want the girls peaking in on us?"
"Yes," says Mineta without thinking twice.
"Nobody wants to see your ass," sneers Bakugou.
"Hey!" exclaims Mineta. "There is someone out there who wants to see me."
"You keep telling yourself that," says Bakugou. I was about to go back to brushing my teeth when I see that patch of red and white hair. Todoroki seems to be done heading out the door. It's like he is moving in slow motion, I can't take my eyes off of him. I don't turn towards the mirror until the door closes with him out of sight. I jump seeing Bakugou staring at me. I look away feeling nervous as hell. Did he see me staring? I hope not. Bakugou is not the person I want to talk to about this. I get washed up feeling fresh and clean heading back to the room.
Once in front of the door, I can't help but take a deep breath. I open the door quickly looking to my left seeing nothing. I look to the right which is the side I picked and I see Todoroki standing there causing me to drop all my items.
"Shit….."I cry. He scared the hell out of me. Todoroki is standing there watching me gather my items from the floor. I can feel his glare on me making my skin hot. "I-I'm sorry…"
"You should be," he says harshly. "You almost hit me with the door."
"I'm sorry….." I say again as I finally managed to get my items in my hands. Todoroki rolls his eyes walking out of the room before I could say anything else. I stumble to put up my items to run after him. I want to talk about this. I didn't mean to make him this upset. I get to the hall to see he is already gone of course. I see Kirishima coming out of their room.
"What's going Midoriya?" he asked with a smile. He looks at me closer. "Dude, are you okay?" I rub my eyes.
"I'm fine…." I say with my voice cracking. Kirishima stops me.
"No, you're not," he replies. I can't stop the tears as they begin to fall. "Shit, come here." Kirishima leads me into his room closing the door. "What happened?"
"I-I don't know….." I stammer through tears. "P-please don't tell anyone, please…."
"Tell anyone what?" questions Kirishima grabbing me some tissues. He hands them to me before rubbing my back up and down in a calm manner. I take a deep breath through my sniffles almost feeling like I did the day I decided to take my life. Apparently, this is a different situation. I want to be alive but I still feel like shit. "Take your time man." I sniffled some more wiping my face before saying anything.
"I kissed Todoroki," I whisper.
"Whoa…." says Kirishima catching every single word. "Um…..wow…..um not trying to be nosy but how did that happen?" I begin to fidget with my fingers. I don't even fully understand how it happened myself. I mean sure All Might said I was drawn to him but now the question is why.
"I'm trying to figure that out still….," I admit timidly. "I was looking at him and the next thing I know we were kissing." I cover my face. "It was my first kiss, I really didn't plan it."
"I'm so confused," says Kirishima. "When did you guys even start hanging out?"
"After the festival," I reply. "It was on accident really. I mean but we actually trained together, had a small sleepover, he even had dinner with my parents."
"I'm still trying to get over the whole sleepover part," says Kirishima. "Holy shit…"
"It's a long story…." I mutter.
"We will come back to that," says Kirishima ushering me to sit down. "How the hell did you kiss him?"
"It just happened," I say sadly. "I wasn't thinking clearly after the kiss and told him it was an accident." Kirishima face falls.
"Was it an accident?" he asked. "Did you really say that to him? God, I have so many questions about this. All of this!"
"I think it was an accident but not in the way he thinks," I replied. "I mean I never kissed anyone before…"
"Oh boy….." says Kirishima sitting beside me. "You really got yourself into some deep shit." I nod in agreement.
"He won't talk to me…." I say sadly.
"How long has it been?" asked Kirishima.
"Since finals," I sigh.
"It has been a couple of weeks so why don't you try talking to him now," he replies. "It is not going to be easy knowing Todoroki but if you really like him it's worth trying."
"I don't know if I like him like that," I reply. Kirishima smirks at me.
"Trust me, buddy," he says standing. "If you kissed him, your first kiss at that, you like him. Come on let's get to dinner before all the good food is gone." Like him, I immediately think back to what All Might said 'Stay focused'. I frown because I didn't ask for this to happen. I have never really liked anyone…
We get to the area with the rest of our classmates. Uraraka and Asui saved me a seat while Todoroki is sitting at a different table from me. I had to make sure not to watch him all during dinner trying to enjoy myself. I was able to fake it but Kirishima knows the truth and I think Bakugou is assuming since he keeps fucking looking at me. I'm glad when dinner is over as the exhaustion of fighting earlier is kicking in. I get to my room and Todoroki isn't there, good. It gives me time to get my mind right and decide what I am going to say to him. I'm muttering to myself when he walks through the door. I look up with us making eye contact. The coldness in his eyes is easily felt.
"H-hey…..can we talk?" I ask.
"I don't have time," says Todoroki. "We got training starting early tomorrow morning. I would like as much rest as possible." Todoroki walks over pulling his shirt off. I can't help but stare at him wondering has he been training harder. His muscles are more defined than before.
"I u-understand….." I stammer. "Please, I really need to speak to you…"
"I don't have anything to say to you," he replies. Todoroki slides on his night shirt and I walk over to him trying not to get upset.
"You don't have to say anything," I say staring up at him. Todoroki tries to move around me and I won't let him. "Stop that! I need to say this." Todoroki glares at me but he does stop moving. "I kissed you." His face looks unmoved. "I kissed you because I wanted to but I never….I haven't…..ugh…" I'm getting flustered but I see his face softening a little. "The kiss wasn't a mistake. I just wasn't planning to kiss you. It just happened but I wanted it to. D-did you feel the same way? Did you want to kiss me?" I didn't mean to start rambling but I just want him to know I didn't mean it in the way he thought. I just had to work through my thoughts. Todoroki shifts his eyes.
"I did…" he says quietly shocking me. His cheeks begin to turn colors as I'm sure mine is as well. I wasn't prepared for him to say that.
"Um, that was my first kiss….." I say with my voice dropping.
"I know," he replies looking at me. "You told me this before."
"Oh….." I say flushing more. I don't remember. Everything was happening so fast. Todoroki reaches his hand out to me but stops dropping his hand back to his side. He looks at me with his face looking like what I was getting use to seeing, emotions only I can understand.
"Let's go to bed," he says. "I'm sure you don't want to be tired tomorrow." I nod because I really don't want to be tired. Knowing that he is talking to me no longer mad will make my night sleep much better. We both get under the covers in our twin beds right across from each other. "Midoriya,"
"Yeah," I say softly.
"Do you want to kiss again?" he asks bluntly. I swallow hard because I do want to kiss him again. The next kiss I can be more prepared. This is my chance to get it right…. "Don't overthink it. Just let it happen." Let it happen, that is what I did the last time even though I wasn't trying.
"Right," I agree. I finally roll over on my side pulling the blanket to my chin smiling. We are going to kiss again. This time it is going to be the real deal.