We're leaving for home tomorrow, and my mother and I agree to a girls' day out with Rosalie and her mother. We meet up in the city at one of Miami's best pampering spas. Rosalie and her mother have opted for a body treatment, while Mom and I stay behind to have a coffee.
She's unusually quiet, I know that she doesn't want to badger me, but she is waiting for me to talk about the engagement. I haven't seen her since I left yesterday morning. After leaving Edward, I decided to go back to the hotel and stay the night. I just was not ready to face my parents.
"You didn't come home last night." She clears her throat as she peruses the menu.
"I know, Mom, I'm sorry about that. I did leave a message so that you and Dad wouldn't worry."
"Well, I did worry…I mean, you are a grown woman, but I worry; and after you ran out on me yesterday, I definitely worried. Is everything all right, Sweet Pea?"
"You want to know about the engagement," I exhale deeply.
"Well of course I do, you can't just get engaged, and not have me ask questions. Aren't you happy? Is this not what you want?"
"I'm… happy."
"Well, that doesn't sound very convincing, even if you do say it with that gorgeous smile your father has blessed you with. And Bella, I find it rather telling that you refer to it as the engagement, never my or our engagement."
My mother's always been so perceptive, even I had not picked up on that distinction… she's right, I view it as a thing apart, not something that should be relevant to me.
"It's just… I wasn't expecting Jake to propose so soon. My whole life is about to change, and I guess I'm a little uneasy about that, but I'm happy," I add reassuringly, though I feel as if I'm trying to reassure myself and not her.
"Change is a good thing, Bella, and Jacob is a good man; very respectful and cares about you tremendously. I can see the way he looks at you."
Can you also see that good, respectful Jake is a pervert who wants to engage in threesomes with your little Sweet Pea, Mom?
"Yes, he's something else," I say dryly. "It's just…Jake and I haven't been.,." I pause, searching for the proper words, "…connecting as much as we used to.
Her eyes narrow then widen, as she reaches some conclusion.
"Oh, Bella I understand. I really do, Sweetheart. You and Jake are young, attractive people, and of course it's hard sometimes to keep things… interesting."
"I'm not sure you understand what I'm talking about, Mom." I laugh sardonically. "Believe me."
"Sure, I do."
She leans over the table and whispers conspiratorially, "I know exactly what you mean, believe me. After some years together, sex can become boring… but there's so much you can do to spice things up. Sexy lingerie, toys…"
She leans back, reaches for her bag and starts rummaging through it, retrieving her purse, she removes a business card and hands it to me.
"Femplay?" I frown at her, holding the card gingerly.
"Yes. If you and Jacob are having problems connecting, maybe you should visit this online store and see what they have to offer" she smiles knowingly with raised brows.
"Mom!"
"What?"
"You…you. This is just…."
"Don't judge me. It's very interesting… and rewarding!"
"Where did you get this?"
"One of the ladies at my book club. We've been reading this very erotic book; anyway… she gave me the card so that I could learn more about it. I tried to get your father to have a look at the site with me, but you know how he is." She waves dismissively.
"Oh my God." I cover my face and shake my head. I'm mortified.
"Anyway, have a look at it. I can't wait to get started on planning the wedding. You're going to make such a beautiful bride, Sweat Pea," she squeals.
Kill me now
.
.
..
"Lunch was fun," Rosalie exaggerates, rolling her eyes.
"It wasn't that bad."
"It wasn't for you. My mom was like a terrier with a bone about my single state."
"She's just worried about you being alone, Rose." I swallow the contents in my drink.
Rosalie and I are extending the girls' day out into a girls' night out for the two of us.
"If that were true, then she wouldn't have reacted the way she did when I told her I was a lesbian."
"Why would you do that?" I frown. "It isn't true, I know you kissed Samantha in college, but that was just on some stupid drinking game dare."
We're at this popular, rather noisy and crowded club in South Beach. I'm a little out of my element in a place like this, but after everything that happened this weekend, I welcome the distraction.
"It was a test, but believe me if I thought spinsterhood was the only proverbial thorn in her side when it comes to my life, I'd simply ignore her nagging and prying."
"Spinsterhood," I scoff. "I should be so lucky. At least your mother didn't hand you a business card for an online sex store."
"What?" She shrieks and bursts into a fit of giggles. "Oh God, Renee is the best!"
I snack on appetizers while she laughs at my mortification. She composes herself with obvious effort and finally asks about the engagement.
"So, you're sporting a huge rock! How does it feel to say goodbye to the glory days of singledom?" She reaches for my hand to admire the ring.
"Feels wonderful. I need something a little stronger. Let's do shots I beckon one of the barmaids and order tequila, lime wedges and two shot glasses.
"Shots! Now you're talking, but I'm a little curious, what's brought on the urge to get plastered? I want to know everything about how Jake proposed."
I guess now is as good a time as any to confide in someone, and Rosalie will certainly understand. I look at the skimpily dressed women and eager men, bumping and grinding to the beat of the music.
Wow, did I really let her talk me into coming to a place like this?
Rosalie is staring at me impatiently, one eyebrow raised.
"Okay fine, so after we left the banquet, he took me to a penthouse suite at the Four Seasons. He had the place decked out with every color rose on the face of the planet…"
"Roses are good," she interrupts.
"The roses were beautiful," I shoot her a warning look.
"Okay, okay…. Four Seasons, roses, what else?"-
I sigh heavily. "We…. made love all night and sometime during that time he asked me to marry him, and I said yes."
"You make it sound so romantic," she mocks.
The barmaid returns with our order.
"It was romantic," I say while filling both glasses, and passing one to her. She uses the saltshaker first then passes it to me
"One, two, three … go." We. chant in unison. We lick, swallow, bite and suck.
"Ugh." I grimace.
"You never could handle shots," she laughs.
"Shut up."
"So, finish. The proposal was ever so romantic, and you said yes..." She starts on her second shot.
"I said yes, and the next morning he got called back to Chicago for work."
"Ahhh, I see, so this is why you're acting like they cancelled your favorite sitcom." She slams back another shot and dramatically tosses her hair as she places her glass on the table. "Shit. That's three."
"Yup that's it," I lie.
"Mmhm." She glares at me skeptically, hazel eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What are you not telling me?"
"Nothing." I toss back another shot, my eyes screwed shut at the taste of the liquor. "Ugh!"
"Wait a second! We haven't spoken since the banquet. How did Jake react to Masen pulling the rug from under him at the auction?"
"How do you think? He was calm and cool; he was Jake, the typical lawyer." I hope it's the only question she has, but if I know Rosalie, she won't stop there.
"I couldn't believe he did that, twenty thousand dollars, Bella? He has it bad for you."
My thoughts instantly turn to the way he touched my face yesterday. I can still feel his warm, gentle fingers caressing my cheek like a feather. The memory of his warm body encasing mine as he draped himself over me while coaching me in golf; sends a familiar shiver down my spine. He smelled so good; a scent I can't yet describe. And the way his eyes blazed when he defended himself about the events in his marriage, still plagues me. He's hiding something and hurting on the inside.
I'd gain brief peeks into his true feelings, and then he'd purposely divert and distract me with a flirtatious or sexual remark or even action. What is he really hiding?
"Bella!" Rosalie snaps her fingers in my face.
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
"I asked you if Masen was being a prick?"
"No more than usual. Shall we not talk about Edward Masen, alright, Rosalie?"
I don't want to discuss Edward with Rosalie, and I certainly don't want her to pick up on my newly conflicted feelings.
"Alright." She reaches for her shot glass. "Woo! That's four."
After three shots I find myself outside trying to flag down a taxi. Rosalie has already left in one, she's pretty tanked after doing six shots, and so I thought it best that she took the first ride.
The tequila is slowly creeping up on me. I check my phone for the time and realize I shouldn't to go home to my parents and let them see me like this.
"Twelve forty-five," I scoff and run my hand through my hair. After being in the smoky, humid club it feels disgusting.
Eventually a cab pulls up.
"Where to?" The driver looks at me in the rearview mirror.
"The Four Seasons Hotel. I don't know the exact address. Do you know where it is?"
He nods and abruptly pulls away.
It would be too embarrassing to go back to my parents' home in this state. My dad would have a field day teasing me. Fortunately, the room at the Four Seasons has been paid for the rest of our stay in Miami.
I send my mom a text telling her that I'll be staying with Rosalie. After her worry last night, I don't want her to know that I've opted to be alone again. I also send Rosalie a text to see if she's made it home safely. She responds promptly, advising that she's home and puking her guts out every ten minutes. I smirk, knowing that her mother will give her shit about it later. It's just like our college days.
I slip off my heels in the elevator. "Damned tequila shots," I groan, suddenly feeling the after-effects of the alcohol.
"Where the hell is that damned key!" I growl quietly, as I struggle to find it in my bag.
Finally locating it, I open the door and toss my bag on the floor of the living room and grab a bottle of water from the minibar.
"Did you hear that?" A soft male voice startles me. It's coming from the bedroom area.
I look around wildly, thinking that somehow I'd entered the wrong room. The few familiar objects I see assures me that I haven't. An item, that to my knowledge had surely not been here when I left earlier, catches my eye. It's Jake's travel bag.
As I make my way to the bedroom, I hear scuffling. Before I can open the double doors, he emerges.
"Uh…Bella, Sweetheart, w-what are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here, what are you doing here? You got on a plane to Chicago yesterday morning, why didn't you let me know you were coming back"?
He quickly shuts the bedroom door and moves to embrace me.
"Who's in the bedroom, Jacob?"
"Wh-what? N-no one, baby." He reaches for me, and I back away.
"Do you think I'm stupid? You're jittery as hell, half-naked and obviously drenched in sweat, and I certainly heard more than your voice in there… and you have the audacity to say no one, baby? Who's in there, huh?"
"I'm not lying!"
"Get out of the way, Jake!"
"Bella, listen to me please…. you don't understand…" He tries to block me from entering. I tussle with him, trying to push him out of the way.
"You're right. I don't understand, but I'm sure I'll get some answers in there."
"Bella…" I somehow manage to get past and open the door.
She's holding her clothing up to her body.
"Bella, I... "
"Save it!" I hold up a hand, silencing her. "I don't want to hear anything you've got to say, Tanya."
I turn to look at Jake in disbelief. My mind can't process what's happening.
"Bella…." His expression is one of abject guilt and sorrow.
"Don't bother trying to explain. I mean, after all, this is my fault. You've told me on several occasions what it was you wanted; and I chose to ignore it, thinking that I would be enough for you."
"Bella, it's not like that, I swear."
"It's not? Were you not just fucking her in the bed you proposed to me in twenty-four hours ago? Did you not lie to me, telling me that you had to go back to Chicago on business, so that you could screw around with her behind my back?"
"I–"
"It's not a fucking question! I'm stating a fact!"
"Bella, this is not what you think. Jake assured me that this was what both of you wanted!" Tanya comes to stand in between us.
"He told you that? " I spin around to glare at him. "You told her that? You disgusting son of a bitch!"
"Bella no….!"
"Tanya, I'm going to give you three seconds to get out of my sight, after that I can't guarantee what I'd do." I point at the door, and she scrambles to get the rest of her things and rushes out.
"Now, Bella..." He protests as I advance on him.
"You told her that I wanted this?" I practically screech in mortification.
"I didn't mean for it to happen like this. I thought that you understood that I was yours now, and that you didn't have to worry about us experimenting and losing me in the process."
"What? I wasn't worried about losing you by experimenting, because I was never going to do it, Jacob. I told you on numerous occasions that if I wasn't enough for you, you were free to find someone who was. I'm not going to indulge in your sick, twisted fantasies."
"They're not sick and twisted! God, Bella isn't there anything special you like during sex?"
His words send my mind whirling back to when Edward had posed the same question. My anger reaches new heights.
"If another man says those words to me, I'll scratch his damned eyes out. Get out, Jake!" I push him out the door to the suite. My chest heaves, I feel unable to get my breathing under control.
What the fuck just happened here?
I lean up against the door and close my eyes, trying to process things.
"Bella!" He knocks frantically on the door. "Bella… come on, we didn't even do anything!"
He now relentlessly bangs on the door, pleading and calling my name. I'm sure the other guests on this floor will be reporting this.
"Bella! Fuck, can you at least throw me my clothes? I can't go anywhere like this!"
I stomp across the room, snatching his pants from the bedroom and his bag from the living room floor. I rip open the door and toss them at him, slamming the door shut in his face.
"Bella, can you please give me a chance to explain?"
"We're done, Jacob. For good."
"What are you talking about? We just got engaged!"
"That reminds me…." I work the ring off my finger. "There, engagement over," I yell, snatch the door open and hit him in the face with it.