Flashback

Draco looked up at the place that was once his home but was now sacrilegious. Malfoy Manor had never been the warm inviting home it should have been but it was his home and had been for 18 years– well actually more like 16; it had stopped being his home when that monster and his death eaters had taken over.

He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. The pops of apparition didn't startle him, he had become used to being on edge and always expecting something. What did startle him, however, was the firm hand that grasped his right shoulder. He turned his head and saw one of his best mates, Theo Nott, giving him an encouraging nod. Behind him was Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson.

"How do they expect me to live here after everything that's happened?" Draco whispered.

As part of Draco's release conditions, he had to stay at the manor until the curse breakers and aurors had cleared it of dark magic and dark objects. In actuality, they knew it was a form of punishment and insurance so that he couldn't run away if they found something they could charge him with. He knew many people were hoping they found something, no one was comfortable that he was now free. They've all made it abundantly clear by the way he was threatened upon his release at the ministry.

"They're just trying to punish you. They've seen your memories and know what horrors you've faced here." Blaise said in contempt.

Draco clenched his jaw and turned to his friends. "Maybe I deserve just that. And I don't need to be living in the manor for memories to come back because they're on constant replay. Every. Single. One. And you want to know the worst one, the one that has me waking up screaming and wishing I could just Avada myself or wishing that Potter had actually killed me with that dark curse in 6th year so I didn't have to live through it? Potter mentioned that we were captured by snatchers, remember, and they were brought back here, to the manor. They were filthy and dirty and seriously malnourished. Almost unrecognizable, Potter more than the other two because Granger hexed him to disguise him.

"When I was brought forward to identify them, I knew it was them. I knew I couldn't outright lie because while Granger and Weasley didn't look like they had before, it was still obviously them if someone were to look and remember hard enough. They couldn't just summon the Dark Lord until we could confirm, though, so I stalled as much as I could. But then, just like usual, trouble followed them. Bellatrix found out they had the Sword of Gryffindor which was supposed to be in her vault. She went absolutely bonkers and you know what she did? She sent Weasely and Potter to the dungeons and kept Granger. Said she wanted to have a conversation with her 'girl to girl'."

"Oh, Draco..." Pansy whispered hoarsely. Draco clenched his eyes shut, his breath ragged as he replayed the scene in his head, and nodded.

"Bellatrix crucio'd her over and over again, and just like the stubborn little lion she is, she never relented. Then Bellatrix grabbed her cursed dagger and fucking branded her with the word m-mu-mudblood. After that, Granger just sort of gave up. She was almost passed out from the screaming and crying, and the pain. But when she saw that word I just saw her look up to the ceiling and it was almost like all the fight she had in her had left, like she was ready to die. Then as always, the wonder duo finally came in and saved the day, but before they could escape, Bellatrix held Hermione hostage, dagger to the neck. I remember seeing the blood dripping down her throat and the blood dripping down her arm and all I could think of was that we were wrong– that I was wrong– so fucking wrong because her blood looked exactly like mine and everyone else's. I let Potter disarm me and Dobby helped them escape.

"All I could fucking remember is feeling relief when they vanished, but that relief turned to guilt and hatred. Hatred towards myself, the Dark Lord, my parents, but at that moment, it was specifically at Bellatrix and myself. I hated her and wanted to kill her with my bare hands for what she did to Hermione, but it was nothing in comparison to what I wanted to do to myself because I absolutely despised myself for not helping her, for not doing anything. I just stood there and watched her take it, I tried telling her I was sorry but what good would that do? I was still the coward I always was." Draco hadn't realized tears were streaming down his tormented eyes that were trained down on the cobblestone pathway. He didn't want to look up and see the expressions on his friend's faces because he was sure they would portray repulsion.

It was quiet for a long while. The wind was howling and the sky was growing darker, yet no one made to move.

"You're in love with Granger," Pansy said. It was more of a statement than a question.

Draco looked up to Pansy and saw a look of understanding across her face. The words were all choked up in his throat and all he could do was nod.

Pansy gave him a sad smile. "I figured. You always had this look on your face– in your eyes– when you looked at her. I remember wishing you looked at me that way but I finally accepted that it was never going to happen."

"I'm sorry," Draco said.

Pansy shrugged and grinned. "Don't be, I'm quite happy with Blaise," she intertwined her fingers with Blaise who gave her a kiss on the head.

Theo cleared his throat. "So you're in love with Granger and have been since..."

"Since I first met her."

"Oh," was all he could say in response.

"Look, Draco–"

"Look, nothing, Theo," Draco cut him off once again. "I'm staying here– as if I had a choice anyway– until the ministry clears it and the Wizengamot decides my parent's fate, for now, I'm staying here."

"And what options have you given yourself after?" Blaise asked.

Draco looked back at the daunting building then turned back to his friends. "The muggle world couldn't be as bad as our world."

"Are you being serious," Pansy asked.

Draco shrugged. "Pans, when I was released after my trial, I had nothing but death threats shouted at me and even a few hexes. I'm petty sure the aurors weren't trying that hard to deflect them. And it wasn't just me people were threatening, they slew threats at you lot as well. I don't know, in the three months I've been in Azkaban I've had plenty of time to think about it. There's not much here for us in the wizarding world. Everyone hates us and would be glad if we dropped off the face of the Earth.

"I was thinking that maybe since I could finally freely accept everything I grew up learning was complete rubbish, I might as well see what the muggle world has to offer because I'm sure at this point, there's so much more than what the wizarding world could– not like I deserve it though. And maybe, you three could think about coming with me." He didn't give them a chance to respond. Instead, he turned around and began his trek down the cobblestone pathway towards the place that he used to call home.

It had been a trying two weeks of Draco's life. The day after his release was the beginning of his parents trial which had lasted 2 days, because while there was so much evidence against them there was the Chosen One's testimony for them. Ultimately they had been given a sentence too lenient. Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy were now able to come home from Azkaban and serve out their house arrest.

Much to his surprise and everyone's outrage, all the Malfoy parent's had received was house arrest and their magic being monitored. Draco knew they meekly avoided Azkaban because they had deflected before the final battle and because of Potter's testimony that Narcissa had lied to the Dark Lord about Potter being dead which was the catalyst that allowed the light side to win in the end.

In the span of those two weeks, while the curse breakers and aurors cleared the manor, Draco had more time to ponder about the 'what next' in his life. He spent those two weeks holed up in his bedroom when he wasn't present for the investigations. He didn't want to go out, he just couldn't. The elves kept him fed, Blaise, Pansy, and Theo would come visit through the floo and understood him when he expressed his feelings about not wanting to spend any time outside of his room, and he had his own collection of books to keep him entertained, but nothing ever filled the void of loneliness and guilt that consumed him. Nothing ever helped him when he woke up screaming in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep.

Those two weeks also allowed him and his friends to talk more about moving to muggle London. They all agreed it would give them that sense of freedom and with that, they decided to move. After Theo's father and Pansy's parents had been sentenced to life in Azkaban, a decision neither of them really minded, they began looking for flats and houses. All four combined had money that would last for generations at their disposal yet they settled on flats in a more reserved area of muggle London.

Draco took a deep breath, opened the expansive doors of the manor, and awaited his parent's arrival with the aurors. He could distantly see 2 figures in auror uniforms pop in at the entrance of the gate then another Auror apparating in with a woman and another with his father. He watched them walk down the pathway towards him, managing to keep his expression void of emotions.

When they all stopped in front of him, he avoided his parent's eyes.

"Mister Malfoy," the dark-skinned and strict looking auror nodded. His name was Salim Atkinson and while he had an aggressive demeanour he was a very down-to-earth man. He was the one who led the investigation on the Manor in those 2 weeks and was the only one out of all the aurors and curse breakers who had been open to talking to Draco.

"Mister Atkinson," Draco greeted back. "Thank you for your work."

"Of course. We'll be warding your home as a condition of your parent's release. They won't be able to leave the premises nor are they allowed any sort of contact with anyone other than you and a ministry assigned house-elf."

"A ministry assigned house-elf?" Draco asked.

Salim nodded. "We understand that you had freed your house-elves that weren't... erm... killed by Voldemort." He heard his parent's sharp intake of breath. "But the ministry assigned house-elf is like your own, the only difference is they cannot perform any task that is not approved by the ministry."

Draco nodded, a bit relieved.

"We'll also be setting a sort of tracking device on them, a muggle contraption called an ankle bracelet, only it will be modified. The wards are secure but this is just more reassurance. Not only will it track where your parents go, but it also counter any spells and potions with the exception of those of healing. So if your parents were to try and polyjuice themselves as you to walk through the wards, while the wards will be able to detect it and still keep them in, the ankle bracelet won't allow the potion to take effect."

Draco's brows rose, impressed. "That's some brilliant bit of magic."

"Yes. Now, if you don't mind, my team and I will begin."

"Of course. If you need me, just send a Patronus. Excuse me." Draco spared a quick glance to both his parent's who looked as if they wanted to say something and turned to leave.

Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were in the dining room eating in complete silence when Draco found them. They both looked up at his stoic face.

"Draco–"

Draco held up a hand to stop his father from continuing. "Now that you two are back, I've decided to move out. That is all." He turned to leave but was stopped by his mother's soft and shaky voice. The same voice he heard pleading to his father not to let her son get mixed in danger.

"Darling, maybe we should talk–"

"Mother, please. Not now. I-I'm not ready." And with that, he left to finish packing.

Draco was waiting at the gate for his friends to arrive so they could side-along to their new homes. He didn't wait long as they apparated not 5 minutes later in front of him.

"How are they doing," Blaise asked seriously.

Draco looked down at the cobblestone pathway and pursed his lips then looked back up to his friend. "Don't know really. Haven't really spoken to them beyond telling them that I'm leaving. I could barely even look at them."

Blaise nodded silently.

"Well, ready to start our new lives?" Pansy asked holding out her hand to Draco.

Draco stared at it for a moment before he reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. He turned his head to look back at the manor and grimaced. "Yes. I'm more than ready." He turned back to his friends– his family– and with a pop they all disapparated.

A/N: Hello my beautiful readers! You all don't know how sorry I am that it's taken a while for me to update life has been completely crazy. My mental health had been horrible but I'm slowly gaining my strength back. Happy new years my lovelies and I promise, you'll be seeing at least 1-2 updates a week.

Love always,

to-be-slytherin