Cassie stood in her bedroom at Jon's house; today would be the last day this space would be hers, as after today, she and Jon would be married and they would share the master suite.
She smoothed down her dress. She had chosen to wear her mother's wedding dress since the ceremony was to be very small with only their close friends in Jack's backyard. Neither she nor Jon wanted an elaborate wedding. This fact made it easy to plan because they had got a call a few days ago Sam was coming home from Atlantis to deal with the last Ba'al clone and Sam expected to have only a few days before going back. Plus in her mind she and Jon were already married, this ceremony was just for everyone else's benefit.
"You look beautiful. Janet would be so proud of you and what you've become. Have you decided where you're going? You never told me in your letters." Sam asked standing behind her. "I would assume Harvard but I know from Jon you also got accepted to Yale as well. It would be convenient for the two of you."
Cassie signed. "Jon and I talked about it for a long time but we decided Harvard is the best choice. It's not far between them so we'll see each other often but we'll also be able to concentrate on our studies without being too distracted."
"I have something for you, it's from Janet." Sam said holding out a box. "It was entrusted to me so that it would be given to you on your wedding day." She opened the velvet box to show an emerald necklace. "It was her great-grandmother's and she wanted you to have it. The necklace also came with this letter for you in case she couldn't be here on this special day." Sam held out a battered envelope and Cassie took it with shaking hands.
Sam hugged her one last time and then said, "You have a few minutes so I'll leave you alone to read it."
Cassie sat down on the bed and opened the letter.
Cassandra,
If you are reading this it means that I'm gone. I really would have liked to be with you on this special day but I have a duty to perform and an oath to honor. I hope this day is a happy day for you and that you have found a man who loves you very much. Never settle because you are feeling alone, I did this and it almost ruined my life. You are such a special girl and I hope you know that. Having you in my life made it complete in a way I never thought possible.
I can only imagine how beautiful you are, I hope today you will wear my grandmother's necklace and think of me, because I'm sure I can see you from wherever I am. I love you Cassie and never forget it.
Your Loving mother
Janet Fraiser
Cassie wiped the tears from her eyes trying not to smear her makeup too badly. This was a wonderful gift she never expected to receive. Getting up she picked up a photograph from her dresser. It was of her and Janet at the Garden of the Gods, the first excursion they'd gone on together as mother and daughter.
"I love you too mom, thanks." Putting down the picture she gathered up her bouquet and headed for the door. Now she was ready to get on with this day and step into the future without fear.
Jack waited outside and offered her his arm. "Are you sure about this? I mean, my truck is parked out back all we'd have to do was climb out the window and be gone."
Cassie smiled and patted Jack's hand. "I've been waiting for this for a very long time and there is nothing you or anyone else can say that will make me change my mind. So give them the signal because the bride is ready."
0o0o0
Jon stood at the far side of the backyard under a pretty arbor with Nate at his side waiting for his first glimpse of Cassie. There were only ten other people in the yard, just as it should be, this day was about family and he and Cassie only wanted those closest to them.
Charlie appeared at the screen door dressed in her simple dress and Jon knew that Cassie would be right behind her.
He drew a long but sharp breath; this was their last step into adulthood. After today they would be married in the eyes of everyone else sealing their relationship for all to see. No one could step between the two of them now.
A quick glance at Nate told him he and Charlie weren't settled. He knew Charlie had to make her choice soon. Jack was ready to step in if she needed him to get her out of the black-ops stationing but she had to ask for him help, there was no way Jack was going to interfere until then. He really hoped whatever his friends chose they would find happiness.
There was no music, instead Charlie started down the steps followed by Cassie and Jon was hit in the gut. She looked so beautiful and he could hardly believe this woman would really be his wife. He had eyes for no one else as she walked step by step closer to him.
At the head of the isle Jon stepped down and took Cassie's hand from Jack. The older man couldn't resist a parting shot. "Take care of her or I'll break you."
"No worries Jack. I know how precious she is." He then took Cassie arm tucking it into his own and walked up the two steps onto the dais where they were met by an Air Force Chaplain. The took vows they wrote themselves and exchanged rings. Then it was over, they were man and wife.
Turning the chaplain present Lieutenants O'Neill to the crowd which was followed by applause. Then Jon and Cassie looked at each other and then took off running until they were out the backgate. They jumped into Jon's truck and were gone.
0o0o0
Charlie watched the Jon and Cassie run and envied them. Cassie's laughter floated back to her as the gate slammed shut. Their lives seemed so simple and her, well hers was a mess.
She stepped up onto the dais waving her hands to calm the crowd as Cassie had asked her when these plans were made. "They will return for the reception at 1700 and we hope you will all join us in celebrating with them. They wanted some time alone, but they wanted to make sure you all knew how much it meant to them for you all to be here to witness this moment for them. Thank you."
Stepping down Charlie came face to face with Nate and she knew it was time, she had avoided this moment long enough. She reached out to him and taking his hand. "Let me get out of this dress and into some real clothes and I'll meet you out front. It's past time we talked."
She could see the fear in his eyes and she hated to keep him waiting but she wanted to make sure she had a few moments to collect her thoughts. And she wasn't going anywhere in this dress, while it wasn't the worst thing she'd worn in her life, it was a dress.
Nate studied her face and she felt him there in her mind as though trying to find the answer but Charlie shut him out of that part and then he was gone.
"Alright I see you out front then in five minutes. I'll get changed too." He didn't move, instead he waited for her to leave first.
Charlie was changed in record time but Nate was still waiting on the front steps. He was talking to his mother and Charlie drew a deep breath before approaching them.
"Hello General Shark, it was a beautiful wedding wasn't it?"
Haruka smiled. "Yes, it was. Now I have to leave I am scheduled to meet up with my husband. Nate you be careful and not getting into too much mischief." She stepped up to Charlie and kissed her brow before hugging her tightly. "Whatever you chose I hope you will always call me Haruka. I wish you only the best, Charlie." Then she kissed Charlie's check and was gone.
Tears formed in her eyes but didn't fall. She looked at Nate and said, "Let's go somewhere that we can talk without being interrupted. Any ideas?"
"Well, mother's house is empty. She went right to the airport. We could go there." Nate offered holding out his hand for Charlie to take.
"Okay, let's go then. Cassie and Jon will be back here in four hours or so." She let him led her to his mother's car.
A while later they sat in Haruka's american style living room and Charlie leaned forward and kissed Nate as she never had before. She needed him to know her choice wasn't about him, it was about her and the parts of her soul she had to come to terms with. She didn't expect him to wait for her, but if he was still single…
After a few minutes, Nate pulled back. "So this is goodbye, isn't it. You're turning me down."
Charlie pulled the Kanzashi from her hair and let it fall around her. "Yes, but you need to know it's not because I don't care about you, because I do and that is why I have to let you go. I am not in a place where I can commit myself fully to you and the life I want to build with you. Until then my answer is no and I want it to make it clear that I don't intend you to wait for me, but should you be around when I am ready…."
Nate reached out cupping her cheek. "Charlie, I would wait for you forever, that is how much I love you. If you think we can make this work I would love to stay engaged, to stay in contact until you have walked this path you feel you have to take, I think we are strong enough to make it through this if you want to try."
Charlie got up from the couch, moving away from Nate from the temptation he was offering her, a way to have both worlds. "No Nate I can't do that to you, I mean it will be months and months of having no idea where I am, what I'm doing. I saw it did to my parents. I don't want you to live that way."
Nate crossed the room and grabbed her shoulders, turning her to look at him. "Hey, I've lived through this with my mother and my father. There were times when both of them were gone and me and my sister and no idea where they were, if they were alive or dead. I survived that, I can survive you living in the shadows." He leaned in close. "Charlie I don't want you to leave me, please."
Then he kissed her and she could feel the walls she had been trying to build up crumbling and the resistance she'd been willing to put up was fading fast. Part of her wanted this for so long, to feel alive, even just for a moment and with that thought she was lost.
0o0o0
When Nate woke up an hour or so later. He was so happy, he and Charlie had come to an understanding and now she was his. Rolling over he reached for her to find the other side of the bed empty. The Kanzashi, he'd given Charlie resting on the pillow with a note in Charlie's mechanic handwriting. With a shaking hand he picked it up.
Nate,
I tried to do this to your face but you wouldn't let me go and so this is the best way. Cassie and Jon already know that I'm leaving this afternoon. I never intended to be at the reception. I will write to you if and when I can.
I do care about you, Nate and I hope to see you again one day. You will always be special to me, because you helped me see that the world wasn't as dark as I thought and that I am not just darkness, that I deserve to rest in the light.
I… see you later!
Charlie
Part of him wanted to go after her to make her stay with him, but she had made her choice and all he could do was let her go and hope she would come back to him.