A few days later Buck was up for a run after lunch and Jane was trying to hide her nerves. She was with Buck in the barn after breakfast as he got his horse ready, learning about what exactly he would do, where he would go and most importantly when he would be back.

"It's a short run Jane." Buck said smiling as he brushed down his horse lovingly. "I'll be gone overnight and back for lunch tomorrow. If I sleep on the trail I might even be back in time for breakfast."

"Don't do that." Jane said from the opposite side of the horse. "Stay with the other riders at Liberty Farm. You said it's only four stations away."

Buck put down the brush and walked around the horse and rubbed Jane's arms lightly, "I know you're worried. The boys shouldn't have been telling you those stories last night. I'll be fine."

Jane slid her arms around Bucks waist and looked up at him, "I'd rather know what I'm worrying about then imagining things that aren't likely."

Buck leaned down and kissed Jane softly, "Don't worry. I do this all the time and I'm still here. I always come home. We all come home." Buck paused as he said the last part and then laid his head on Jane's for a moment.

"He wasn't hurt on a run." Jane said softly.

Buck pulled away from her and walked to the other side of the barn. "No. He wasn't hurt Jane. He was killed." Buck swallowed hard then sank down onto his heels and covered his face, "When does this stop hurting?"

"Slowly. It's been better Buck. You've gone hours without feeling the ache. You're starting to move forward."

"Should I?" Buck asked looking up at Jane his eyes wounded and his pain etched across his face. "Is that fair? Right? What about Emily?"

"I'll make you a deal. You go on your run tomorrow and I'll go and talk with Emily. I'll see how she's doing. I'll see if she needs us." Jane kneeled down in front of Buck and put her hand on his knee and he gripped it. "That way I won't just be sitting here scared."

"I like that plan." Buck said as he looked up into Jane's eyes, slowly he felt the knot in his chest loosen and he breathed a bit easier. "I keep meaning to go and check on Emily. I just can never seem to make myself go."

"Makes sense. It's too close. She's the woman Ike loved and probably would have married which would have made her your sister. So when you see her you see all the maybes of Ike's life."

Buck reached out and pulled Jane to him and held her close while he stroked her hair. "You are very wise for one so young. Why do people keep telling me to be careful with you? I'm thinking they should be saying to be careful of you." Buck teased lightly.

"Buck." Jane said with a laugh and playfully smacked his chest. Buck's hand laid on top of hers holding it tight to his chest right over his heart.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you go for a walk with me there's something I want to show you, and a story I want you to know." Buck asked softly as he held tightly to her hand.

"Always." Jane answered as she stood and kept her hand in Bucks as he intertwined their fingers and led them from the barn out to where he prayed each morning.

"You know that I always wear my vest and stay covered." Buck began and Jane nodded. "I don't like showing that my skin is different than the others. It's always been an issue and since I was little I would put on whatever I could to hide my skin."

Jane nodded but didn't say anything, she knew that something more was coming.

"A while back, Ike was taken by the Kiowa. By my brother, Red Bear." Buck watched as Jane's eyes grew wide but still she didn't speak.

"I went after him. I brought him home, but I had to pass a test to prove that I was a Kiowa. The thing is Jane all of this happened after my brother asked me to leave the express and go with him. Live hated as I did as child hated among my own people, always fighting. I couldn't do it, Ike and the boys are my family and I wasn't going to turn my back on them. They don't see my color or my blood, they just see me."

Jane nodded and sat and watched as Buck stood and slowly undid the buttons on his vest and hung it on a branch. Then he carefully removed his medicine pouch and hung it as well from a branch. Jane was intrigued, she had never seen Buck remove his medicine pouch and was surprised to see him do so now. Then slowly he undid the buttons of his shirt and took it off and holding it tight in his clenched fist walked back to Jane sat in front of her.

"My brother, Red Bear" Buck clarified to make sure there was no confusion, "did this." He laid Jane's fingers on the diagonal scar cutting across the middle of his chest just over his heart. "He did this and told me he would tell our tribe I was dead. Soon after he kidnapped Ike."

Jane laid her hand flat over the scar and with her other hand cupped Buck's cheek. "This scar is one brother fighting with another brother for your heart." She felt Buck inhale under her hand. "It's important, but why did you want to share this now?"

Buck shifted his position and pulled Jane into his lap. "I want you to understand…well no not understand…to …."

Jane smiled and leaned in and kissed Buck. "I understand how much love you have in your heart Buck. I understand that you were willing to give your life for your brother. I understand that you are a good man. I also understand that you are still mourning for maybe both of your brothers."

Buck smiled and pulled Jane closer.

"Wanna know what else I understand" Jane whispered.

Buck smiled, "Tell me."

Jane looked around as though someone might be nearby and then leaned in close to Buck and said, "I understand that you are very warm."

Buck laughed and twisted so Jane was more fully against him and then rolled so she was under him. "Warm am I?"

Jane bit her lip as she squirmed under Buck, "Yes, you have a very warm body."

Buck smiled and ran his hands down her sides until she squealed, "Ah ha! The spot!" and began to lightly tickle her.

"Buck!" Jane giggled from under Buck as she wiggled back and forth, "Buck stop!"

"Make me."

"How?"

"You're the smart one. Figure it out." He said as he dug his fingers again into her sides causing her to wiggle and giggle under him. His body was enjoying her movements and he didn't want to stop.

Jane lifted her head and kissed Buck, her arms sliding around his neck pulling his head down to her. She ran her tongue over his lips and felt him open up over her mouth. Hesitantly, Jane began to explore Buck's lips, teeth, tongue, and mouth with her tongue. She felt his fingers stop tickling but she didn't stop. She was enjoying the feeling of his bare skin under her hands as she let them roam over his back. She felt Buck's hips lean down into her and she gasped and the sensations it caused in her.

At Jane's gasp, Buck started to pull away but Jane held him tight against her. She opened her mouth wider under his and he darted his tongue into her mouth to be welcomed with a small moan of delight. Buck's hands began to roam along the sides of Jane's dress and he felt her small bosom and lightly cupped her breasts. She responded by pressing her nails into his back and pulling him closer. Buck's thumbs slid up over the front of Jane's dress and he felt her taught nipples and he hardened at the touch.

He felt himself straining and realized he had to slow down. Slowly he pulled back and rolled to his side, ending the kiss, his hands sliding to Jane's waist. Gathering his breath and his senses before he went too far too fast.

"Buck?" Jane asked confused on why he'd pulled away from her

"I need to slow us down Jane." Buck said as he pulled her to him and stroked her hair. He didn't need to look to know his desire for her was clearly evident.

"Does it help if I told you I enjoyed what we were doing?"

Buck groaned lightly, "Yes", then paused as he thought, "and no."

"Does it help if I told you I like your skin and I'd like our children to have skin like yours?"

Buck smiled, "Definitely." Buck took Jane's hand in his and pulled it across his chest to his opposite shoulder where he turned his head and kissed her fingers. "How many kids are we going to have?"

"I don't know. Does 4 sound good?"

"4 sounds amazing."

"Buck can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" Buck said emphatically. Then realized he needed to explain. "The problem was that I was enjoying kissing you too much and if we didn't stop, well we'd break Amanda's rule."

"Is that why you kept…"

"Yes!" Buck interrupted, "After we're married you'll understand all of it. But yes. Let's just stick with yes."

Jane giggled slightly, "Buck, you're blushing."

"No I'm not." Buck said even though he could feel the heat coming off of himself. "Even if I am, you caused it." Buck teased.

"How?"

"You kissed me!"

"You tickled me and wouldn't let me go!" the two promptly dissolved into laughter and said at the same time, "See, it's your fault."