This is the 20th chapter, my beloved readers!
I managed to publish the 20th chapter of 'The unconditional love of a German Shepherd' within one month! I am very proud of myself.
Though, I will now upload less frequently.
One of my dogs has been diagnosed with cancer on Jan. 2nd, and went through a life-sustaining surgery the next day.
She's now at home, very weak and her wound is enormous. It's ironic that I've been writing about similar stuff, and now this happens to her. Gives me a bad conscience to be honest. Even more ironic, she has another tumor in her right kidney, which is yet to be removed. She needs to regain her strength before going through surgery a second time.
Just wanted to inform you guys. I'll try to write as much as possible, but I am not sure if my mind is going to let me. Please understand. I will finish this story, no matter what, but I can't tell you how long it'll take.
I want to thank each of you for supporting me. I was having a blast with this story and it's all thanks to you guys! I used to be so insecure about writing, but you guys really lifted my spirit. It's a wonderful experience to upload a new chapter, go to sleep and wake up to read all your amazing reviews. It helped me through a tough time, and I want to say thank you as often as possible. xoxo Love you guys.
Chase ran through the streets, not having any destination in mind. He just had to get out of there, free his mind. It was too much to take. He had been hoping, praying and falling apart for too long - and it seemed that it was all futile. Her state was still so weak that they had to revive her! For the third time since the accident! How was her little heart ever going to regain strength? The doctor was so happy to announce that Skye seemed to be aware of her surroundings after she reacted to pain, and now they couldn't monitor any further brain activity like that... as if she deepened her sleep, if that was even possible.
Chase's mind kept clouding his senses, numbing his reason. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him, squeezing his eyes together due to the rain that kept hitting his face while running. His fur was dripping wet, but he didn't care. He just wanted to run until the pain in his heart would relent. He stopped in the middle of the forest, totally out of breath. He collapsed in the mud and started crying heavily. This forest was were his hopes came to life, and where they died. He covered his face with his front paws as his heartrending sobs echoed through the forest, drawing attention to some of the residents. Squirrels, birds and deer stopped to stare at the devastated Shepherd, but he didn't care.
Suddenly, someone poked him and made him look up into uncertain brown eyes of a familiar raccoon. Chase wiped some tears away as he came to a sitting position, trying to catch his breath, but his lips wouldn't stop quivering.
"What happened?" the raccoon asked confusedly.
"I don't feel like talking." Chase hissed as he turned away. The raccoon tilted his head as he stared at the Shepherd's back for a moment, before clearing his throat.
"Must be something severe." he whispered.
"Go away. You're getting wet." Chase snorted, trying to control his tears, but they kept flowing against his will.
"So are you." the raccoon shrugged carelessly. "I live in the forest, I get wet from time to time. Nothing new."
"What do you want from me?" Chase asked as he looked over his shoulder to glare at the raccoon.
"You've been here before, a cute female was with you." the raccoon pointed out. Chase's white teeth showed as he broke down a second time. He didn't need this reminder. He squeezed his eyes shut forcefully and slowly sank to the ground.
"Oh, it's because of her." the raccoon sighed as he sat down in front of Chase. He put one paw under Chase's chin to lift his head. Chase looked at the raccoon with utterly sad eyes, causing the raccoon to gulp.
"What on Earth happened to you? Back then you looked ready to kill me, and now you're just a shell of the predator you used to be."
"I've never been a predator." Chase spat bitterly as he retracted his head from the raccoon's grip.
"Just because you don't hunt, doesn't mean you're no predator, my child." the raccoon said, flashing Chase a half-hearted smile.
"Can you just go away?"
"I don't think so. Tell me what's tearing you apart, maybe I can offer my help." the raccoon said confidently.
"If you think I'm a predator, you must be tired of life to be so close to me." Chase grunted, wrinkling his nose in anger.
"In your current state you couldn't be a threat to a fly."
Chase rolled his eyes as he looked away, tears still relentlessly flowing down his cheeks. His face was already wet from the rain, so it made no difference.
"Though, I am quite tired of life, too." the raccoon sighed. "My wife recently got shot by a hunter. These cowards carry weapons, 'cause they can't even kill a bird with their bare hands."
Chase's eyes widened as they landed back on the raccoon's ones. He swallowed thickly, and for a second he stopped crying. "I thought hunting is forbidden in this area?"
"Thought so too. Yet I had to bury my wife a few weeks ago. They shot her for fun. Just like that." the raccoon said, his eyes hitting the ground. "She was pregnant."
Chase slowly came back into a sitting position as his lips warped in sadness. "I am so sorry to hear that."
"Yeah. Now I told you about the hole in my heart. Tell me about yours." the raccoon demanded dryly. Chase sighed deeply, his expression mournful. "Well, that female you mentioned earlier... she had an accident and is in a coma since then. She needed a new kidney, and a friend of mine donated, yet she doesn't wake up. I am slowly giving up hope, I don't know what to do anymore."
"Really? The one that stopped breathing as you poked her nose?"
"Heh, yeah, that one." Chase retorted coyly.
"That's terrible."
"Yeah."
Silence. Both avoided further eye contact. While the raccoon had a thoughtful expression, Chase's expression saddened more by the second. Though, this raccoon managed to stop more tears from escaping his sore light brown eyes.
"And you're giving up on her?" the raccoon suddenly asked, causing Chase to look at him with a tilted head. He let out a troubled sigh and nodded slowly.
"Looks more like you're giving up on yourself." the raccoon remarked with a shrug.
"That, too." Chase admitted with a sad sigh as he looked down at his paws.
"You love her."
Chase shook his head in disbelief as his eyes wandered back up. "What?"
"You love her." the raccoon repeated dryly.
Chase drooped his ears and nodded, warping his lips in pure sadness.
"No, you don't." the raccoon said sternly, frowning, causing Chase to arch an eyebrow in confusion. "What?"
"If you did, you'd never give up. If a lion hunts a zebra and doesn't catch it the first time, does he lean back and starve?"
Chase blinked hard as he emptily stared at the peevish raccoon. He slowly shook his head. "I guess not?"
"I guarantee you he'll keep trying and trying until he catches that damn zebra." the raccoon whispered darkly, looking deep into Chase's eyes. He then grabbed Chase's snout firmly, causing the Shepherd to flinch in surprise. "Get your shit together, dog. She needs you now. Never talk about love if you're willing to let go that easily. A predator is never going down without a fight, and since she's a predator she's fighting, but you're not supporting her. She can feel that you don't believe in her. You either jump off a cliff, or you go back to where you came from and fight."
He then slowly let go of Chase's snout and turned around to walk away. Chase needed a moment to proceed what had just happened, wearing a confused frown. He shook his head as he realised the raccoon's message and stood up, puffing up his chest.
"Hey, you." he called out after the raccoon. The grey mammal looked over his shoulder with a bored expression. "You better hide, you've just revived a beast." Chase grinned confidently.
"Hopefully." the raccoon shrugged and continued to walk away.
With that, Chase ran off, determined to make Skye wake up.
He arrived in front of the hospital, staring at the entrace. He didn't care about the heavy rain. Every drop that landed on his already wet fur gave him more strength. He put on a determined expression as he confidently walked through the doors, ignoring that it was already past the visiting hours. He stopped in front of the closed door to room 24, taking a deep breath.
'Go in there and fight.' he whispered to himself as he opened the door and entered her room. He glanced at her lifeless body shortly before he closed the door behind him. He slowly approached her bed and sat down beside her. He sighed deeply as he looked at her motionless face. His lips started quivering again, and it was hard to remain strong. His ears kept twitching as he heard the rain literally crash against her window. He felt a thousand fires burning within him, bereaving his breath. His heartrate went out of control, he nearly forgot how to breathe. He slowly lifted his front paw to poke her, but hesitated. Why was this so damn complicated? He shut his eyes forcefully as he slowly lowered his paw again, resting it on hers. Her paw felt stiff, cold and lifeless, that's why he couldn't take looking at her. He took a deep breath, not daring to open his eyes.
"Listen, Skye... I don't know why someone chose to be so cruel to me, why someone chose to take you from me and let me go through hell every single day. I open my eyes, and as soon as I see that your dog house is empty, I wanna close them again and wait for your return. I feel so useless without you around, it's killing me. I can't fulfill my purpose, I feel empty. The doctors promised that you'd wake up as soon as you get your new kidney, and I even accepted Chico, out of all dogs, donating - in order to save your life. So why on Earth aren't you opening your eyes? Why are playing with me like that? Don't you miss me at all? Don't you think about me at all? Cease acting like you're already dead! Just give me a sign, I don't wanna give up hope. Just cough, flinch or do whatever, just let me know that you hear me, let me know that you still care..." he said, his tone determined, but with every sentence it got weaker, until he whispered. He risked to slowly open one eye and glance at her, but as usual, there was no reaction. He grunted as both eyes snapped open again and he retracted his paw from hers in anger and despair. He walked towards her window and sat down in front of it, emptily staring outside, watching the rain. His eyes carelessly followed every raindrop slide down the window, his mind was somewhere else. Either she didn't want him to know that she was still with him, or she simply wasn't with him... it ate him up, it gnawed on him, relentlessly leaving deep scars on his sensitive heart. He was too tired to try, too tired to cry. He couldn't be awake, 'cause the awareness of her weak state dragged him down into an endlessly deep hole - but he couldn't be asleep, 'cause he kept dreaming of her and of everything they could've been if the accident hadn't happened. A long, troubled sigh escaped his snout as he continued to stare outside, not paying attention to anything that was happening around him.
Skye's front paw flinched, then her nose twitched. All her muscles started moving slowly, as if she was waking from a dream. Her yet closed eyes flinched from time to time as she tried to open them with no success. Her breathing got heavier, she felt frozen, not able to move. Her head was spinning, and also aching. She groaned in pain, causing a certain German Shepherd to look over his shoulder. He gasped in surprise as he saw her pained expression. It wasn't quite a pleasant view, but she didn't look so lifeless anymore. He rushed to her side, excitedly wagging his tail. He got onto her bed with his front paws, staring at her face in deep hopes.
"Skye, can you hear me? Are you okay?" he whispered hopefully, his sad eyes glistening in the dimmed light of the room.
Skye slowly started moving her head and shoulders, wincing in pain. Chase gulped loudly as he watched her with attentive eyes.
"Skye, please. You can do it! You can open your eyes!" he said, hoping to encourage her.
Slowly, very slowly, Skye opened one eye, but her vision was blurry and she couldn't really see anything. With much force she managed to open the other eye too. She looked right into Chase's eyes, but somehow she looked through him.
"SKYE!" Chase yelped excitedly, some tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe it, you're awake!"
He nuzzled his head into her chest fur, trying to keep his breathing steady. His heart was racing so fast that he felt dizzy, and he couldn't stop his tail from wagging. He allowed a few tears to roll down his face, humidifying her soft fur. As Skye's pained grunts wouldn't stop, he lifted his head to look at her with sad eyes.
"Shhh, it's gonna be okay. You're here. You're back. You're fine." he said softly, cracking a warm smile, which she didn't return. She kept blinking hard, trying to clear her vision. Chase tilted his head as he observed her face. Why wasn't she saying anything? There was no sign that she was happy to see him.
"Skye, can you even hear me?" he asked with a shaky voice, to which she slowly nodded. Finally, her vision became clearer and she finally looked into his eyes, actually being able to see him. Though, her expression remained empty.
"Are you in pain?" Chase asked worriedly, slowly sitting back down as his tail stopped moving. She nodded again, only being able to move her head very slowly.
"We will get rid of that pain in no time, I promise. I will be with you every step of the way. I am so incredibly happy that you finally woke up, I've been dying to see your pretty pink eyes again." he said, flashing her a coy grin. Skye frowned in confusion, tilting her head slightly. She observed the poor Shepherd's face closely, before opening her snout to speak with a raspy, weak voice:
"Who are you?"