"There might be a monster that comes out. So I have to try to find Big Brother quickly. Big Brother is a handsome prince, so he'll be sure to defeat the monster for me." Kirimi said.
Music Room 3
"Welcome!" Host Club said.
"My, what an unusual guest we have here, huh? Welcome, my little lost kitty cat." Tamaki said.
"When I opened the door, there were the police." Kirimi said.
"Kitty cat, where did you come from?" Tamaki said.
"Reverse harem! This is a reverse harem!" Kirimi said.
"This can't be right. Apparently, there's still some water left in my ear from when I was swimming at the pool." Hikaru said.
"That must be it, Commissioner. The reason why it sounded like this little girl said "reverse harem" must be because there's something funny going on with our ears." Kaoru said.
"Debauchery." Kirimi said. "Yay! There's debauchery here! "Glasses character"..."Boy Lolita"... "stoic type"... "Twincest"..."Studyhound"... Big Brother...You're blond, so you're Big Brother!"
"We've never heard about this." Hikaru said.
"You have another sister?" Kaoru said. "Besides Mana and Kurisuta?"
"No that's definitely it. Or at least I think that's it." Tamaki said.
"Now that you mention it, maybe you do kind of look alike. You are both blond, and all." Hikaru said.
"Why does Mana and Kurisuta look so different from you?" Kaoru said.
"Mana's mother is Kanako Ishiyama, a Japanese CEO of the Sakura Entertainment Corporation. Kurisuta's mother is Atsuko Hikawa, poor prostitute and previous Yankee gangster, but she is from an illustrious line of miko priestesses. Yuzuro Suoh's first born, and chosen heir, remains Tamaki." Kyoya said. "For that matter, are "glasses character" and "Big Brother" on the same level?"
"It doesn't matter, does it? She called me a "studyhound." Kuri said.
"Um... Miss, what's your name?" Tamaki said.
"Kirimi." Kirimi said.
"Kirimi-chan, you've made some kind of mistake, haven't you? I don't think that I have a younger sister." Tamaki said.
"You're not my Big Brother, even though you're blond?" Kirimi said.
"M-Me?" Tamaki said.
Kirimi's lip quivered.
"All right. As of today, I will be your Big Brother, your Big Brother! You're so cute, you're so cute..." Tamaki said.
"No matter how easily carried away by your feelings you may be, do you really think you should make such irresponsible declarations to a child that young?" Kuri said.
"I'm not irresponsible! I'll make sure I look after you! So come on home with me!" Tamaki said.
"What should we do, Kyoya-senpai?" Kuri said. "It's just possible that she actually does have a blond older brother in high school, isn't it?"
"Kirimi... Kirimi..." Nekozawa said.
"Um, who are you?" Kuri said.
"He's a foreigner!" Hikaru said.
"And for that matter, doesn't the door look different?" Kuri said.
"Kirimi..." Nekozawa said.
"Master..." Kuretake said. "...you've forgotten your attire."
"Nekozawa-senpai?" Kuri said.
"Master Umehito is terribly vulnerable to bright lights." Kuretake said.
"As such, if he doesn't shroud himself in black attire, he cannot endure the brightness, and will collapse. He even has to cover the lightness of the color of his hair with a dark wig! On the other hand, his sister, Mistress Kirimi, hates dimly lit places." Kadomatsu said.
"Then, she's Nekozawa-senpai's younger sister?" Kuri said.
"To tell the truth, that is correct." Kadomatsu said.
"K-K-Kirimi...so this is where you are..." Nekozawa said.
"Waah! A monster!" Kirimi said.
"It's all right. The cursed puppet Belzenef here is not the least bit scary. The Nekozawa family has worshipped cat-shaped objects for generations." Nekozawa said.
"No, it's not the puppet that she's afraid of, Nekozawa-senpai, it's you, yourself. It's because of the way you're dressed, isn't it?" Kuri said.
"Don't do that! It's so bright, I'll die!" Nekozawa said.
"Well, we could just darken the room!" Kuri said.
"Waah! I hate the dark!" Kirimi said.
"Oh, there, there. So now, she can't take it." Tamaki said.
"The tragedy that gave rise to these two opposite personalities is the reason why these two are called the Nekozawa Family's Romeo & Juliet." Kuretake said.
"Romeo and Juliet weren't brother and sister, and the situation is greatly different." Kadomatsu said.
"I am aware of that. It was just a snappy catch quote that I came up with just now. I thought it would make it more dramatic." Kuretake said.
"Oh, I see." Kadomatsu said.
"Incidentally, we have been sent to pick up Kirimi-sama." Kuretake said.
"Is the whole Nekozawa family...as strange as all this?" Kuri said.
"What are you talking about?! The Nekozawas are a distinguished, proper family, descended from the Tokarev dynasty of Russia!" Kuretake said.
"Tokarev?" Kuri said. "D-Don't you mean the Romanov dynasty?"
"But there's a legend that says that, for whatever reason, once every few hundred years, a person in the Nekozawa family is born, who, like Umehito-sama, is fated to be possessed by darkness...which may or may not be true." Kuretake said.
"It may or may not be true?" Hikaru said.
"So which is it?" Kaoru said.
"The Master, as a result of his condition, is unable to go near his sister without his black attire, and Mistress Kirimi fell in love with the fairy-tale prince of an older brother that she only knew from his portrait. After she learned that her older brother was enrolled in high school, she's gotten so that she will come looking for Umehito-sama like this." Kadomatsu said.
"Of course, we have repeatedly tried to comfort the Mistress with bedtime stories of princely characters, and having run out of stories to tell, we have lately added shojo manga having prince characters that appear in them to her repertoire, and she has gotten utterly absorbed in them." Kuretake said.
"This maid was the source of that?" Hikaru said.
"Debauchery in shojo manga? " Kaoru said.
"So then, Sashimi-chan doesn't..." Kuri said.
"That's kirimi." Kaoru said.
"It's Kirimi!" Kuri said. "...Kirimi-chan doesn't know that you're her older brother, Nekozawa-senpai?
"Yes. We have told her many times, but she just will not believe us." Kuretake said.
"Neko-chan must feel sad about that." Kuri said.
"Yes. Which is why...I offer prayers like this, every night, that Kirimi will come to love darkness." Nekozawa said.
"No, you've got it backwards." Hikaru said.
"You should get accustomed to bright places." Kaoru said.
"What are you trying to do to your sister?" Hikaru said.
"Come, Kirimi-sama." Kuretake said.
"Let's go home." Kadomatsu said.
"No! ! I'm staying with Big Brother! I'd rather stay with Big Brother!" Kirimi said.
"Nekozawa-senpai..." Tamaki said.
"That's okay, Suou-kun. It doesn't matter what happens to me. Please, please, give
Kirimi the love that she needs!" Nekozawa said.
"Nekozawa-senpai!" Kuri said.
"What's the matter, Big Brother?" Kirimi said.
"I'm sorry, Kirimi-chan. I'm really not your big brother. But don't you worry. Kirimi-chan, you have a prince that's even more handsome than me, and he's your real Big Brother." Tamaki said.
"Brother." Kuri said.
"Once she came here, Kirimi-chan became a guest of the Host Club. Ouran Host Club exists in order to bring happiness to girls. Having a brother and sister that don't care for each other, and who can't be with each other, is a serious problem that should not be! As of now, "Operation Reform Nekozawa-senpai Into the Bright, Princely Character that
Kirimi-chan Prefers" is underway!" Tamaki said.
"Again?" Kuri said.
"B-But...reforming Umehito-sama's dark-possessed character?" Kuretake said.
"Is that even possible?" Kadomatsu said.
"Like I said, no matter how easily carried away by feelings you may be, these irresponsible declarations are..." Kuri said.
"Have you forgotten? We have someone on our side who is more heartening than anyone else when it comes to altering a person's character, do we not?" Tamaki said.
"By any chance..." Hikaru said.
"...does he mean?" Kaoru said.
"Sure enough." Kuri said.
"Your golden hair, as it flickers in the candlelight...Your shining, ivory skin... Your smile, more mysterious than a flower, illuminated by moonlight... Yes, almost as if...as if you were a cursed wax statue, with your malevolence-" Nekozawa said.
"Wrong!" Mana said. "You numbskull! Who told you to say that line?! How many times do I have to tell you using occult terms is off-limits?!"
"B-But, my vocabulary is limited to these sorts of words." Nekozawa said.
"Talking back to me is off-limits, too!" Mana said. "A princely character doesn't come
up with such a sissy excuse so easily! Remember, it's good to have a dark side. Solitary characters work pretty well with young girls, too. But these days, the occult, horror, and the like are out of the question! Mori-senpai, add another no-good word!"
"Wax statue, right?" Mori said.
"Mana-Chan is really ripping it up, huh?" Hikaru said.
"She's on a roll." Kaoru said.
"I'm not sure if those lines will be practical for his sister, though." Hikaru said.
"Sir, are you just going to watch?" Kaoru said.
"Well, I don't want to end up cursed later." Tamaki said.
"Okay, you seem to have learned most of the character-altering lines. I think it's about time we moved on to it." Mana said.
"Hold on! It's still far too soon for me to attempt it!" Nekozawa said.
"Evil beam!" Twins said.
"Don't you let a mere flashlight upset you! Pluck up your nerve! It's not a physical problem for you, which means it's a problem of guts! Edgar was able to deal with a
cross with his nerve and guts, right?!" Mana said.
"I thought you rejected the occult." Twins said.
"Fiction is all right. Fashion is not." Mana said.
"Is that right?" Hikaru said.
"And you're the one..." Kaoru said.
"...who's always engaging in weird cosplay." Hikaru said.
"You're not putting your whole heart into saying these lines, either. Think of your practice
partner as Kirimi-chan a bit more." Mana said.
"T-That's easy for you to say, but Kirimi's face isn't as ashen as this." Nekozawa said.
"I don't want to hear it! Look with the eyes of your heart. The eyes of your heart!" Mana said.
"Yes! This is all for Kirimi-chan's sake!" Nekozawa said.
"If you can put your mind's eye to work, I'm sure that doll will look like the actual Kirimi-chan!" Mana said.
"Here, sir!" Hikaru said.
"We got this one ready, too." Kaoru said.
"Go ahead and try speaking words of love to this Kuri doll, please." Mana said.
"T-This is Sister?" Tamaki said.
"You should always show by example first." Mana said.
"Sister...I..." Tamaki said.
"Brother?" Kuri said.
"Ahem..." Tamaki said.
"Sister?! T-The real one? W-When did you get here?" Tamaki said.
"Kirimi-chan came to the club room again today. If you've got time to goof around,
doing repulsive stuff like this, then could you please hang out with Kirimi-chan for a little while?" Kuri said.
"R-repulsive?" Tamaki said.
"What's wrong, Kuri?" Hikaru said.
"Aren't you any good with children?" Kaoru said.
"No, I don't dislike children or anything," Kuri said. "but...She's had me read around 50 volumes of shojo manga to her these last three days. And of all things, this stuff is really
full of reverse harems, and debauchery."
"Big Brother? This room is too dark!" Kirimi said.
"Ah, Kirimi-chan! I told you to wait in the other room." Tamaki said.
Xxx
"Oh, what's wrong, what's wrong? There, there, you see? Nothing to be afraid of." Kuri said.
"I am a handsome, princely big brother...I'm not afraid of the light! Self evil beam!" Nekozawa said.
"He did it!" Hikaru siad.
"Nekozawa-senpai has finally become able to shine a flashlight on himself!" Kaoru said.
"Bravo, bravo. Nekozawa-senpai...You've done it! I'm sure that Kirimi-chan will be thrilled, too!" Kuri said.
"Look, Kirimi-chan. This is your real Big Brother." Tamaki said.
"Big Brother!" Kirimi ran to Tamaki.
"Kirimi!" Nekozawa said.
"Um, you're just complicating matters, so could you stop that?" Kuri said.
"That evil beam just now..." Hikaru said.
"...must have been pretty scary, huh?" Kaoru said.
"Kirimi..." Nekozawa said.
"Nekozawa-senpai..." Kuri said.
"Enough. Even if I go through any more special training, there's no guarantee
that Kirimi will accept me... Rather than Kirimi having me for an older brother, Suou-kun, you should be her substitute older brother, instead. You're the one that girl really wants to see, aren't you?" Nekozawa said.
"If you hold your sister dear, then show more guts, even if it kills you!" Tamaki said.
"Huh? Your sister is still in the courtyard." Hikaru said.
"There's something down there with her..." Kaoru said.
"Oh, it's a cat." Hikaru said.
"Your family sure does love cats." Kaoru said.
"You warm right up even to stray cats." Hikaru said.
"That's not true! Regardless of how the Nekozawa family may revere cats, there's no way that something as occult as her being chummy with a stray cat could happen, is there? Kirimi is afraid of animals! And live cats are what she's most afraid of! Kirimi! !" Nekozawa said.
"Nekozawa-senpai! Oh, no! He's not even wearing his hood!" Kuri said.
"Help!" Kirimi said.
"Kirimi! Kirimi! !" Nekozawa said.
"Big Brother!" Kirimi said.
"He did it!" Kuri said.
"This is the result of my special training. You see, Kirimi? No need to be afraid of that bad kitty anymore. With the power of this curse puppet, Belzenef... I'll curse... curse..." Nekozawa said.
Several Days Later
"Nekozawa-senpai...He probably took in a whole life's worth of sunlight that day. And he's reacted by reverting back to his condition before the training." Hikaru said.
"Well, well, that explains why he's wearing those gloomy black clothes again." Kaoru said.
"But still... Now, even if monsters do appear, I'll be all right. After all, Kirimi has a
princely Big Brother now, who will fight to protect her, even if it means dashing out
under the sun that he fears so much." Kuri said.