Disclaimer: See initial chapter.
A/N: This one is filled with angst, and emotional hurt/comfort. There are thoughts of spanking, but Steve is just thinking of what his father would have done in such a situation. No one is spanked in this.
"Danny!" Steve keeps his voice as light as possible, not wanting to scare the little boy, by letting his anger seep through, but wanting to communicate that things are serious, that he isn't playing around.
"I don't want to go to school," Danny says, stomping his foot and placing his hands on his hips. He's got his lips pursed, and eyes narrowed as he stares Steve down.
Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and ignores the way that Stormy is circling his ankles and nipping at them. He needs to feed her, but getting Danny off to school is currently his top priority.
"You have to go to school," Steve says, gritting his teeth. He wonders how his Aunt Deb gets Danny off to school so smoothly when he's away on his 'business' trips, one of which is coming up in a little under twenty-four hours.
"No, I don't," Danny says, sweeping his hands wide. "I don't have to go to school, and you can't make me."
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...nope, still mad. Steve closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and mentally counts backwards this time. When he opens his eyes again, Danny is still standing there in front of him, sans backpack, a defiant look on his face, and a flash of temper in his eyes.
When did this happen? Steve wonders. Who the hell did Danny learn that look from? He's never experienced this kind of showdown with Danny before, and it's more than a little unsettling, especially since Steve has no idea where it's coming from. And maybe he should stop and ask, but he's pressed for time, and he just needs Danny to get on board with going to school. The sooner, the better. He's got things to do, a heist to plan.
"Danny, we don't have time for this. Go get your backpack. It's time to go to school," Steve says, not bothering to mask his growing anger this time.
"You go get my backpack," Danny says. He stomps his foot and fists his hands. His mouth twists in anger. "I'm not going to school!"
"I don't know what's gotten into you, but we are not doing this right now. I have work to do today, and you've go to school. Now, get your butt in gear, or else," Steve says, folding his arms over his chest and returning Danny's glare with one of his own.
"Or else, what?" Danny asks, calling Steve's bluff. Judging by the glint in Danny's eyes, the little boy knows exactly what he's doing. He's got Steve against the ropes and is going in for the kill.
"Or else you don't get to sleepover at Kento's house on Saturday night," Steve says, knowing that Danny has been looking forward to seeing Frozen II with his best friend and sleeping over at Kento's house afterwards. Something that Steve had only agreed to because Danny had worn him down, and he'd spent a week surveying Kento's house and setting up security measures for it. Danny's safety being at the forefront of his mind, especially with Steve going on another job so soon. A job involving the recovery of a kidnapping victim, which is not something Steve would ever have dreamed of being part of before Danny'd been taken by the Hesses.
Rescuing a child who'd been kidnapped by one of Steve's rivals is far from the norm for him and his crew, and it feels a little off, but in a surprisingly good way. He was a little surprised when Lou approached them with this potential job, but quickly warmed to it when he saw the video-feed the distraught father had sent Lou. Though the boy looked nothing like Danny, Steve's heart went out to him in a way that he hadn't thought possible. In a way that would never have been possible before Danny.
With the proviso that this type of job wouldn't be the norm, Steve had agreed to do it. Now he wonders if they shouldn't have gone in sooner, before the scheduled money drop. It would be riskier, sure, but Steve believes that it would have been easier than facing off with a defiant Danny on a Friday morning.
Stitch chooses this moment, of all moments, to run into the living room and Steve is so done right now. The dog starts barking up a storm, but neither Steve nor Danny move to let the dog out to pee. Both are mirroring each other's stance - arms crossed over their chests, feet shoulder width apart.
"Danny."
"Not. Going." Danny punctuates each word separately, an ultimatum.
Danny's glowering now, Stitch is whining, and Steve has a headache building up behind his left eye, which is twitching. Neither of them move an inch. Steve has been in Mexican standoffs that have been less filled with tension than this stalemate he has going on with Danny.
"I do not know what's gotten into you, but this is not happening right now," Steve says, advancing a step.
"You already said that." Danny takes a step back, Stitch following. "And in case you didn't notice, this is happening right now."
Steve feels a hot surge of anger that he immediately tamps down on before he does something like striking Danny, and a sudden pang of sympathy for the woman he'd watched struggle with her willful, wailing child in the grocery store the other day. He no longer feels that she was overreacting when she'd all but dragged the child out of the store, a look of murderous rage on her face. Steve half expects Danny to drop to the floor and hammer his feet and fists against it, like that woman's child had done so gracelessly. At least this act of Danny's isn't happening in public. Steve thanks the heavens for that small mercy.
"Danny, I will give you to the count of five to get your gear and meet me at the front door," Steve says.
He vaguely recalls his mother doing this with him when he was around Danny's age; the threat of his father's hand meeting his backside had helped matters along considerably. Steve isn't sure he can do that to Danny. Not after everything he's already done, not after all that Danny's been through. Before this moment, the thought of spanking Danny had never even entered his mind. He knows that his father wouldn't have let things let things get this far, that he would never have questioned the ethics of spanking. Times are different now, though, and normally, Danny isn't a mini raving lunatic. Normally Danny's a sweet, obedient kid. Today it's like he's been taken over by some sort of hell spawn. Maybe a body snatcher.
Steve walks to the door, making an effort to not look at Danny who is standing rooted to the spot, Stitch sitting obediently at his feet, looking from Danny to Steve with concern in his big, brown eyes. Steve starts counting as he goes, keeping his voice steady, his count slow, but consistent.
When he reaches three, the number echoing in the house, he can hear movement behind him, and he sighs in relief that the standoff is over. He doesn't stop counting, though, and when he reaches five, he turns around, fully expecting to find Danny standing right in front of him, a contrite look on his face, backpack in hand, and apology on his lips.
What greets him, however, is not a docile Danny, but a very wiggly, hyper Stitch. The dog woofs, and frustrated beyond belief, Steve opens the door and lets the dog out to do his business.
Danny is nowhere to be seen, and Steve hopes to all that is holy that the little boy has not decided to hide on him. As it is, Danny's going to be late for school, and Steve is going to be late for a very important meeting with his team.
"Danny, come on, stop playing games," Steve says. He lets Stitch in when the dog scratches at the door and makes a mental note to have a doggy door put in so that Stitch can take care of letting himself in and out of the house when he needs to go.
"'M not playing games!" Danny shouts from upstairs.
Rolling his eyes, Steve follows Stitch as the dog makes a beeline for his boy. It isn't surprising that Steve finds Danny in his bedroom. What is surprising is the state of undress that he finds Danny in. Stripped down to his boxers, Danny's standing in the middle of his unmade bed and Steve is at a complete loss for what to do.
Kidnapping 101 did not cover this sort of thing, he thinks hysterically. He knows what his father would do - would have already done seven times over by now - and resists the urge he has to spank Danny. It's easy to see why his father, why many fathers and mothers, have resorted to that sort of discipline. Steve's just not sure it's something that he can bring himself to do.
"Danny, what the he-what's going on?" Steve runs a hand over his face, more exhausted than he's been in a long while.
"I'm not going to school," Danny says, dropping down on his butt. The bed bounces a little under his weight, and Steve reigns in the near knee-jerk reaction he has to tell Danny to stop 'jumping on the bed'.
Danny would no doubt have a snappy comeback for that. 'I wasn't jumping on the bed, I was sitting.' Steve can hear the sass in Danny's voice loud and clear in his imagination.
"I can see that," Steve says, floundering. "You want to tell me why? Is someone bullying you?"
Danny raises and eyebrow at that and gives Steve a look that Steve swears could curdle blood. Danny shakes his head.
"Do you have a project due that you didn't complete?"
The look Danny gives him in response to that makes Steve feel about two inches tall. Who the hell had taught Danny these looks? When he finds out who's responsible for these withering looks that Danny keeps giving him, Steve's going to have words with them. Words that very well may include a fist or two.
"I do my homework," Danny says, smug.
"Then why don't you want to go to school, buddy?" Steve asks, fully exasperated.
"Because." Danny looks down at his bed sheets, and Steve lets out a breath as some of the tension that had filled the space between them eases a little with Danny no longer skewering him with his increasingly hostile looks.
Sitting on the edge of Danny's bed, Steve waits for Danny to elaborate, falling back on interrogation techniques that he'd learned in the military. Silence, when it stretches, can become uncomfortable, but it can often lead to the information that you're looking for, or a confession. Steve's not sure if it works for kids, but he's willing to give it a try.
"Idon'twantyoutobegonewhenIgetbackfromKentos." The words rush out of Danny's mouth in a single breath, and Steve tries to sift through the quickly uttered words because he knows that whatever Danny's said is significant, and key to ending this particular battle.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," Steve says, careful to keep his voice soft, controlled.
Danny looks up at him, blue eyes shining with tears, cheeks red with suppressed anger or frustration, some other pent up emotion that Steve can't put a name to. He's plucking at a loose thread in the sheets and Steve makes a mental note to buy new sheets, Batman or Spider-Man themed. Maybe Avengers or Frozen.
"I said," Danny says, making a show of enunciating and elongating each word for Steve's benefit, like he's speaking to a child rather than an adult. "I don't want you to be gone when I get back from Kento's."
"I'll be back before you know it, buddy," Steve says.
Danny shakes his head and wipes at his eyes with a tightly fisted hand. He's shaking, and Steve feels completely out of his element. A second ago, he'd been angry, now he's just flummoxed and lost.
"You'll be gone, and I'll be all alone, and you won't be here to see my first baseball game, and you might die, like Ironman, and I'll have to go to a new daddy, and I don't want a new daddy." The words spill out of Danny like an out of control waterfall, and Steve knew he shouldn't have let Danny watch that movie.
"Buddy, c'mere." Steve pulls Danny to him with very little resistance, though there is some. Danny's clearly still very much upset, but he clings to Steve.
"I want to stay home with you," he says. "I don't want you to go."
"Danny, I wish I could stay home and hang out with you, too," Steve says, the honesty of his statement hitting him in the gut. He'd give anything to be able to stay home for Danny right now.
"Then why can't you?" Danny asks, pulling back to look Steve in the eye.
He's got a million reasons why he wants to stay with Danny. Only one reason why he has to leave him, and he sure as hell can't share that with Danny, afraid that it will dredge up bad memories and cause him to have regular night terrors again.
"I just...can't."
"You can't stay because you don't want me anymore," Danny says, pushing back from Steve.
"What?" If Danny knew what lengths Steve had gone through just to keep him, Steve knows he wouldn't be saying that. Nor would he still be trusting Steve enough to sit in his lap.
"You don't want me, just like my first daddy and mommy no longer wanted me." Danny's voice is so quiet that Steve has to strain to hear it.
"Danny, your mother and father wanted you very much," Steve says, heart stuttering in his chest. "What makes you think that they didn't?"
"Then how come they didn't keep me?"
"Danny," Steve says, wondering where the hell all of this is coming from. "Your parents didn't abandon you, they -"
"You said they died," Danny says, glaring up at Steve. "But what if they didn't? What if they didn't want me, like Billy Batson's mom didn't want him and sent him away? And what if you're just lying to me like this boy at school says you are?"
"Billy Batson?" Steve asks, completely confused. "Is he a school friend of yours?"
The eye roll that follows Steve's question makes Steve wince.
"No, dad," Danny drawls the term of endearment in a way that makes it sound almost like a curse. "Billy Batson, from Shazam. The movie."
Steve doesn't remember watching the movie, not that it matters. He thinks that whatever he says to Danny right now is going to lead to another confrontation. If he didn't know any better (and he's not sure that he does know better what with the atypical way Danny's been behaving) he'd think that maybe Danny's itching for a fight.
"Danny, you aren't some character from a movie. Your parents loved you very much." Steve knows it's true, and that if he hadn't taken that fateful job, Danny would still be with them. Maybe they'd still be alive. Maybe the man who'd killed Danny's parents wouldn't have started the fire that killed them if Danny had been around. Or maybe Danny would be dead right along with them. It's a sobering thought, and one that Steve thinks about often.
"If they loved me so much, then how come they didn't rescue me when I was kidnapped?" Danny's eyes are narrowed and his jaw is locked.
"Danny, your parents were already dead when the Hesses took you," Steve says as gently as he can.
"I'm not talking about them," Danny says, shuddering, refusing to say the names of the Hesses. "I'm talking about the first time I was kidnapped. How come they didn't save me then? How come they didn't save me like you did? If they wanted me so much, why didn't they come for me? I was scared and alone, and I wanted them, but they didn't come."
"Just because your parents weren't able to save you, doesn't mean that they didn't love and want you, Danny," Steve says, heart aching for the boy, guilt making him want to come clean. "I don't know what your classmate said to you, or what Billy Batson has to do with any of this, but your parents did love you very much. If they were alive, they would tell you."
"They didn't love me enough, then," Danny says, voice trembling, tears threatening. "And you don't love me. If you did, then you wouldn't leave me alone with Auntie Deb all of the time. If you loved me, you wouldn't make me go to school. If you loved me, you would'nt've let me get kidnapped in the first place."
"Danny, I love you very much. You mom and dad loved you very much." Steve wants to wring the neck of whoever planted this seed of doubt in Danny's head, and he wants to turn back time to fix what he did wrong in the first place.
"Then how come you won't stay with me? Why do you always leave me?" Danny's voice is filled with so much pain that it makes Steve want to promise that he will never leave, but he can't make that kind of promise.
"Danny, did your mom and dad stay with you all day, every day?" Steve asks, already knowing the answer to his question because he'd watched Danny's family weeks before he'd taken him.
Danny glowers, but shakes his head.
"You went to school, and your dad went to work, right?" Steve presses.
"So what?" Danny shoots back. "I got to see them every day before the scary, bad man took me away and I never got to see them again."
"I'm sorry that the scary, bad man took you away from your parents," Steve says, guilt gnawing at his gut like an angry badger, making him bleed for what Danny lost, what he stole from Danny. "I'm sorry you can't see them again."
"What if you go away forever, too?" Danny asks.
"I won't," Steve says. The promise feels hollow. He feels empty.
"What if someone takes me when you're away, and this time you don't save me?" Danny asks, limbs trembling. Steve feels like he's been stuck with a knife.
"That's not going to happen," Steve says, adamant. He'd go through Hell to bring Danny back if the little boy was taken again, so would the rest of his team. They've all come to love Danny.
"You can't keep me safe if you aren't here," Danny says, digging the knife in a little deeper.
It's on the tip of Steve's tongue to point out that he hadn't been able to keep Danny safe when he'd been with him, that it was he who'd taken Danny and brought him into a world of danger in the first place. Everything is Steve's fault, and short of inventing a time machine, there's nothing he can do about it now.
"I won't be gone long," Steve says instead. "I'll be back before you know it."
"What if they take me when you're gone?" Danny asks.
"Who?"
"Bad men," Danny says, shrugging.
Dread fills Steve's stomach. "Danny, tell me who you're talking about. Did someone threaten you?"
Danny shakes his head. "What if the bad men who took the little boy you're going to rescue come after me?"
Steve's always been very careful about keeping what he does a secret from Danny. He never talks business in the presence of his little boy, and always talks in code whenever he is on a secure phone line with his team.
"What are you talking about?" Steve asks.
"The little boy you, Uncle Lou, Uncle Chin, and Auntie Kono are going to rescue from the bad men," Danny says. "Like you rescued me."
"How do you know about that?" Ice fills Steve's stomach.
"I heard you talking with Uncle Lou when I got home from school yesterday," Danny says. "I want to come with you."
If Danny'd overheard that, what else had he overheard? The past several years pass through Steve's mind in seconds, and his gut twists.
"Danny," Steve starts.
"I want to come with you," Danny interrupts Steve's train of thought. "I know what it's like to be scared and alone and with bad men. You don't. I can help the little boy."
Steve swallows. "I know that you could be very helpful," he says, struggling for the right words. "But -"
"It's not anymore dangerous than staying here, with Aunt Deb," Danny says. He's running his fingers over the back of Steve's hand, eyes locked on Steve's knuckles. "I could get hurt walking down the stairs, or taking out the trash, or going to school."
It's all very logically laid out, and Steve has to hand it to Danny, it sounds like the little boy has practiced this very speech. He's got it memorized, and he's right, danger could meet him anywhere. It had met him several times already.
"I can't take you with me, Danny," Steve says, holding onto Danny when the boy surges forward, pulling Danny back against his chest. "I wish I could, but -"
"I could be hit by a car crossing the street, or killed by a school shooter, we had a lockdown last week," Danny says, and Steve feels like he can't breathe.
He'd known about the practice lockdown, all parents had been notified about it. It didn't make him rest any easier, and Danny's casual mention of being hit by a car makes him want to wrap Danny up in bubble tape and never let him leave the house.
"A ninja could come in and take me from the bed, or slit my throat," Danny continues, very matter of fact.
Steve wants to shout and gnash his teeth at these images that Danny keeps sending his way. No child should have these thoughts.
"Ninjas?" Steve says instead.
Danny nods. "Or assassins. Or I could be run down by a rampaging elephant. Did you know that an elephant escaped the circus once, and killed people? I could get killed by a rampaging elephant."
"Danny, that happened twenty-five years ago," Steve says, exasperated. "Hawaii doesn't allow circuses that have animal performances anymore."
Shrugging, Danny adds, "What if one got loose from the zoo, or a lion or tiger? I could be mauled to death."
"Danny!" Steve holds Danny tightly as he's assaulted by the horrible images Danny is giving him.
"So, I should go with you," Danny says. "That way, I won't get eaten by a lion, or torn apart by an angry baboon."
Steve wishes he hadn't signed off on Danny's recent field trip to the zoo, and that he'd home schooled Danny. He doesn't know what has gotten into Danny, or where all of these negative ideas are coming from. He knows that no little boy should envision his own death at the hands of baboons, or anything else that Danny's been tossing his way.
"You're not going to get torn apart by an angry baboon," Steve says, latching onto Danny's last verbal barb.
"You don't know that," Danny says, passionate, arms going wide to emphasize his words.
"Danny, I can't bring you with me," Steve says, firm. "I promise that I will be careful, that I will come back to you, and that we will rescue the little boy."
"You can't promise that," Danny says, voice small, yet firm. "You can't promise anything."
"I can promise that I love you, and that I will do everything in my power to come back to you," Steve says.
"And to make sure that the little boy you're rescuing goes home to his mommy and daddy, and is safe?" Danny asks, craning his neck to look at Steve.
"Yes," Steve says, meaning it with every fiber of his being, and willing Danny to believe him.
"You'll let him know that he's safe, and that he doesn't have to be afraid anymore, and that, even if he has nightmares, it'll be okay because he's got you to make sure he doesn't get taken and hurt again?"
Steve's gut feels like it's twisting. "Yes," he says, voice raw.
"You'll give him a hug, and hold him tight, and not let him go until he's in his mommy's arms?" Danny presses.
"Yes." Steve kisses the top of Danny's head. "I will make sure he knows that he's safe."
"Good," Danny says. "I could do it better, though."
"I know you could," Steve says, hating that it's true. "But I won't let you down."
"I know you won't," Danny says, settling back against Steve. "I still think I should go with you."
"I know, buddy," Steve says. "But I need to know that you're here, safe with Aunt Deb, and waiting for me when I get back."
Danny turns to face him, eyes searching Steve's face, and then he leans back against him, sighing. "Okay," he says. "But will you do something for me?"
"Anything," Steve says before he can stop himself, hoping that he's not just agreed to something he can't do.
"Give him my Ironman blanket and my Captain America action man," Danny says in a tone that Steve cannot argue with.
The blanket and the action figure have been Danny's lodestones, his go to remedies for nightmares, and inconsolable fear and grief. They have been tantamount to Danny's healing, and Steve is reluctant to agree, fearful that, without them, Danny will regress, that, if the little boy has a nightmare while he is away (which Aunt Deb had told him is often the case), he'd be inconsolable and trapped inside his fear without these two items.
"Don't worry," Danny says. "I don't need them anymore."
Steve is not convinced.
"They can be the little boy's helpers now," he says.
"How about if I get him his own blanket and action figure," Steve says, holding his breath, hoping that Danny will agree to this, and not sure what he will do or say if Danny doesn't.
Danny shakes his head, and turns again to face Steve, kneeling so that they're eye level. "No," he says. "I will get them for him."
"Okay," Steve says.
"Let's go to the mall," Danny says.
"I'll call your school and tell them you're sick," Steve says, feeling like he's gained more than he's lost in this battle of the wills.
"I'm sorry," Danny says after a beat.
"I'm sorry, too," Steve says, hugging Danny close to him and wishing that he didn't have to leave.
They get the blanket with all of the Avengers on it, and a stuffed bear for the boy when Steve tells Danny that the boy is only four. And then Steve's on his way, Danny waving goodbye, a stoic look on his face, shoulders straight and stiff. Steve has the feeling that no mission has ever been more important than this one, aside from the mission to save Danny from the Hesses.
He brings Danny a picture of the boy when it's over. It's a photo that Lou snapped of Steve holding the boy, Ryan, wrapped up in the blanket that Danny had picked out for him, arms wrapped around the teddy bear, tracks of tears streaking his chubby cheeks. He's smiling, head resting against Steve's chest, eyes drooping as his ordeal comes to an end. Danny frames it, and puts it up in his bedroom on the wall right across from his bed.
"That way, when you're gone, I'll know what you are doing," Danny tells him. "That you're saving someone, like you saved me, like you saved that little boy. You're a hero, like Ironman, and Captain America. One day, I'll be a hero, too, just like you."
Steve's heart clenches, and he fights back bile as guilt gnaws at his stomach. "You're a hero already," he says, not confessing the truth, that he is not the hero Danny thinks he is.
He's the villain. Just because he's done one or two right things in his life, doesn't mean that he's a good man. He knows this, and hates that he can't be what Danny believes he is. That, no matter how many good deeds he does, he'll never make up for all of the bad that he's done. He'll never be the hero Danny deserves.