"In my dreams, I will always find my way back to you."
CHAPTER TWENTY
Nanami's eyes fluttered open against the light peeking through the blinds of her bedroom window. She blinked hard a few times as she sat up in the bed and looked around, taking in the surroundings. While it was perfectly normal for her to wake up in her own bed, Nanami frowned, unable to shake the weird feeling that something was off.
Swinging her legs over the bed, Nanami gasped in surprise at the sight of her small legs. Her feet couldn't even brush the floor. Next, she ran her fingers through her hair, feeling the locks that stopped at her shoulders.
Why do I feel like that my hair should be longer? She mused.
Nanami glanced over at Aozora's small form slumbering on the blue quilt and smiled. It comforted her to know she always had something she could rely on. Still disoriented, Nanami hopped down from the bed and exited her bedroom door as she rubbed at her eyes.
"Morning, honey," a cheery voice greeted her. "You slept a little late. Want any breakfast?"
Nanami's breath caught and she moved her hand from her eyes. Before her sat a beautiful woman at the family kotatsu, her silver locks like silk down her back. The blue barrette pinned the sides of her hair out of her face while she sewed a piece of clothing in her lap.
"M-mama?" Overwhelming emotion poured into little Nanami's heart. "Mama!"
Five-year-old Nanami ran towards her mother as fast as her little legs could carry her and tackled the woman in a bear hug. Mother caught her daughter in surprise, nearly falling over. She laughed as Nanami squeezed her, arms wrapped around her protectively.
Laying a hand affectionately on her daughter's head, Mother asked, "What's gotten into you?"
Nanami pulled back and laughed herself, wiping the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "I don't know..." She stopped and furrowed her brow. "I had a bad dream that you were gone."
"You're too old to have nightmares! You're starting the academy tomorrow. It's time to act like a big girl."
The male voice sounded foreign yet also familiar to Nanami's ears and she spun. He stood tall and proud, much like her father, but was in his late teens.
"Oni-chan?" she said, hopefully.
His eyebrows shot up. "Wow, that must have been some dream." He closed the distance between them and placed a hand on his sister's forehead. "You don't have a fever."
Nanami knocked his hand away and huffed. "I'm fine!"
Brother laughed and ruffled her hair. "You better be. Mother and Father are presenting you tonight at the Neko-Zuka clan rally tonight and you don't want to embarrass them."
"Neko...zuka?" Nanami questioned, tilting her head.
Brother rolled his eyes and mother laughed. She pulled her daughter onto her lap and tapped her nose. "Silly girl. That's the name of the bonding ceremony between the Nekoyama and Inuzuka clan. This year, it's our turn to hold the ceremony."
"They'll try to tell you that it's called Inu-Yama, but don't believe them," her brother said, winking at her.
"What's the ceremony for?" Nanami asked.
Brother walked off to start a pot of tea while Mother continued.
"It's to celebrate the end of an age-old feud between both of our clans. We hold one every few years as a sign of comradery and to keep our bonds strong. The last one was held while I was pregnant with you so this will be your first!"
"So does that mean I'll make lots of friends there?" Nanami questioned, excitedly.
"Well..." Mother smiled teasingly at her daughter and poked her side, "I heard that Tsume Inuzuka has a boy that's the same age as you. Maybe you'll grow up to be great friends."
Nanami wrinkled her nose. "I don't want a boy friend! Yuck!"
That evening, Nanami stood with her family in a large room full of unfamiliar faces. The distinctive clan markings of blue and red made it easy to separate the families. The five-year-old huffed and crossed her arms, already bored in a sea of adults. Mother's eyes caught someone from across the room and she steered her daughter towards them.
"Tsume! Hi, how are you?" Mother greeted cheerily, stopping in front of a scary-looking woman who had two children next to her. One was a girl who looked just a bit younger than Brother and the other was a boy who was the same age as Nanami.
That must be Kiba, Nanami thought.
He had short brown hair and red fang markings on his cheeks. Kiba tugged uncomfortably at the collar of his formal attire. Nanami could sympathize, as she hated the dress her mother made her wear. How do you climb and do flips in a stupid dress?
"Good, thanks," Tsume answered shortly. "And who's this?" She cast her eyes down at Nanami.
Mother placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder and Nanami's face grew pink at the attention. "This is Nanami. She's starting the academy this year."
Tsume's eyes lit up and she patted Kiba's head proudly. The way Kiba grimaced made Nanami think that maybe she was patting him a little too hard.
"This is Kiba! He's starting the academy too."
Nanami watched as a dog poked his head out of Kiba's collar. Moments later, Aozora poked her own head out of the collar of Nanami's dress. The two animals glowered at each other and the two five-year-olds immediately copied their companions' distaste.
"That's nice!" Mother commented to Tsume. "I'm sure the two of them will become excellent friends."
"As if," Nanami grumbled.
At the same time, Kiba muttered under his breath, "I doubt it."
Tsume pulled at the hair on the back of Kiba's neck and he hissed in pain. Mother gave her warning to her daughter by squeezing her shoulder a little too hard.
The scary-looking woman gave an uneasy laugh and said, "Well, maybe good rivals instead."
Nanami tried to move out from underneath her mother, but the silver-haired woman kept such a strong hand on her that Nanami was unable to budge. Defeated, Nanami looked back to Kiba and found that he was watching her closely. The boy started in surprise at being caught and turned his head away, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. She smiled at the reaction and giggled.
Cute, she thought.
As the evening wore on and after Kiba and Nanami were presented to their clans, she grew weary. Drained from the interaction and all the people, Nanami found a chance to slip away into the night.
Nanami breathed in the cool, crisp ocean air and closed her eyes as the wind played with her short locks. She found her a spot on the soft grass up a hill and settled herself there, staring up at the night sky. It was full of twinkling stars, so far away yet beautiful despite the distance.
"What are you doing?"
Nanami reflexively rolled onto her side and to a crouched position, ready to defend herself. Her eyes found the assailant in the night: A confused looking Kiba with his hands shoved in his pockets and eyebrow cocked. She rolled her eyes and settled back down.
"I'm stargazing."
"What?"
Nanami huffed. "Do you need me to spell it out for you, baka?"
Kiba crossed the distance and settled down next to her in the grass. "I'm surprised that you can see anything through this mist."
"I have good night-sight. Also, we Hidden Mist villagers are used to it."
Kiba didn't say anything and looked up at the sky with her. Nanami shifted uncomfortably at his closeness and cleared her throat. Sensing he needed to explain his presence, Kiba spoke up again.
"It's crowded in there. Nothing but boring old adults... So... what's stargazing?"
Nanami grinned a bit, understanding his need to get away and obliged him by explaining.
"Well... it's just looking up at the stars." Nanami sighed in content. "My momma and I do this a lot. It's beautiful and reminds me how big the world is. Mommas says we're just a spec on this dirt like each star is one spec in the sky."
Kiba furrowed his brow. "I don't get it."
The small girl giggled at his response. "Mother has been teaching me the constellations too. They're stars that when you put them together, they form a picture. She says that they're like people. We're specs but when we get together, we can make something great."
Nanami turned her head and saw a twelve-year-old Kiba looking back at her.
"Can you show me?" he asked.
The silver-haired girl had grown as well and rested next to him on their spot on the hill. Every Neko-Zuka bonding ceremony, Nanami would show Kiba the new constellation she'd learned from the tradition that started at the age of five.
Nanami pointed to a particular cluster of stars in the sky. "You see that one that's kind of shaped like a dog?" she asked. "That's Lupus, which is Latin for wolf."
Kiba shot her a wicked grin. "Did you learn that one just for me?"
Her face reddened and she mumbled, "no." But she refused to look at him. The truth was that she did. Nanami tried to learn constellations that she thought he would like in anticipation of their next meeting. And Lupus reminded her of Kiba every time she saw it in the sky.
When Nanami blinked, she was sixteen and standing in her home wearing a white dress that shimmered an iridescent blue. It was silky, flowed to the floor, and had delicate straps that crossed over her exposed back.
"Why do I have to wear this thing? It's way too formal!" Nanami whined. Mother stood behind her and placed her hands lovingly on her daughter's shoulders.
"Because today is special."
Nanami rolled her eyes. "It's just the Neko-Zuka ceremony. I've been, like, a million times."
"Just... trust me."
Mother patted her and walked out, leaving Nanami alone with her image. Her fingers ran over the soft material and she smiled. It was a beautiful dress. She flipped her long, cascading silver hair over her shoulder and met the eyes of her reflection. Frowning, Nanami found herself brushing the skin around her eye.
It's like something is missing... The thought trailed off and Nanami shook her head, abandoning it altogether.
That evening, Nanami waited for Kiba at their usual spot on the dock at the Hidden Leaf Village, which is where the ceremony was being held this particular year. She had her dress lifted and let her feet dangle in the water, feeling the cool water surrounding her feet. A throat cleared behind her and she looked back, silver eyes meeting black.
"Y-you look nice," Kiba said, flustered and red-faced.
Nanami looked him up and down and noticed that he was dressed a little more formally than usual as well.
"So do you," she commented, meaning it.
His blush deepened and Kiba looked away. He stood there for a few moments and looked back at her. Nanami lifted an eyebrow, puzzled at his embarrassment. Finally, Kiba crossed the distance and settled next to her, crossing his legs on the dock.
"This-uh-this is for you." Kiba handed her a lily that she hadn't noticed he was holding.
"Oh!" Nanami said in surprise, then smiled, taking the flower from him. "Thanks."
She sniffed at the flower and then looked back at him, noticing he was watching her closely.
"What's with you?" she asked. "You're acting strange, baka."
"Nothing."
Nanami shrugged and then came to rest with her back against the cool dock, staring up at the stars. After a few moments, Kiba joined her, his shoulder pressed against hers. A blush crept against Nanami's cheeks when he didn't move and she felt the warmth that radiated off his skin.
After a moment of silence, Nanami shook off the feeling and began showing Kiba all the new constellations she'd learned. Everything was going normal until his fingers brushed against hers. She expected him to move them away quickly. After all, they'd spent many times next to each other so it had occurred a few times. But this time, after a moment of hesitation, Kiba opted to slowly graze them over her skin before finally taking her hand in his.
Nanami forgot to breathe and found herself unable to move. Her hand remained frozen but she allowed the hound ninja user next to her intertwine his fingers with her own.
"I missed you," he said softly.
Turning her head, she caught his eyes staring into her own with an expression she'd never seen painted on his face before. Before she knew what was happening, she found herself replying honestly, "I missed you too."
Kiba looked relieved and leaned his face towards hers. Nanami kept very still, afraid that even the slightest movement would shatter whatever was occurring between them. Finally, she felt his lips meet her own, soft and hesitant. She sighed against his lips, giving in and reaching up to cup his cheek. Hesitance turned to resolve and Kiba's lips became surer. He moved them against her own, sending a flurry of butterflies in her stomach.
When they finally broke apart, Kiba rested his head against hers and sighed in satisfaction. "Kitten," he breathed, naming her as his.
At the hotel they were staying in, Nanami nervously fiddled with her dress skirt, waiting for her mother to walk through the door.
"Nanami? Is something wrong?" Mother asked when she arrived, seeing her daughter's worried expression.
Nanami said nothing, but her red face said it all.
A knowing smile crept on Mother's face and she winked at her daughter. "He kissed you, didn't he?"
Starting in surprise, Nanami stuttered, "H-how did you know?"
Mother laughed and came to sit next to her daughter on the sofa. "I know what love looks like when I see it."
Nanami's eyes widened, realizing why her mother had made her wear the dress. "You knew?"
"Did Nanami fall in love with the mutt?" Brother laughed, walking into the living area from an adjacent room.
They both shot him a warning look and he put his hands up in surrender.
Turning back to her mother, Nanami nervously asked, "But... what does that mean for our relationship?" Mother looked at Nanami quizzically so she continued. "It's just... we live in two different villages and separate clans. Isn't it doomed to fail?"
Mother's expression softened and she took Nanami's hand in hers. "Nanami, when two people love each other, those things don't matter."
"But am I not supposed to take over as clan leader one day?"
"Honey, where ever did you get that idea?"
"Hey!" Brother pointed his thumb at his chest, puffing it out. "That's my job! Don't think that you can steal it from me now."
Nanami blinked a few times in surprise and confusion. "Oh... yeah. I forgot."
"Nanami," Mother wrapped her daughter in a hug, head resting on her shoulders. "If you left our village one day to marry a man, I'd be sad to see you go. But more than anything, I'd be happy to know that you're happy. That's all a mother wants for her child."
Tears pricked the corner of Nanami's eyes and she wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's waist. "I love you, Mama." She closed her eyes, the tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I love you too, darling."
In the next instant, Nanami felt the world around her shift. The fabric of her reality ripped at the seams and she was snatched from her warm cocoon of dreams. Nanami's eyes snapped opened and she tumbled onto the hard dirt, where she was dumped into a harsh, cruel world.
"Mama?"
Nanami's head whipped side to side as she took in the battlefield and shinobi all around her. She brought her trembling hands in front of her and stared at the dirt and scars on them. She dropped them to her torn shinobi pants, bunching up the fabric, such a different texture from the silk she'd been wearing moments before. Her mind couldn't comprehend what the hell was happening.
"M..." Nanami's lip trembled and her voice cracked as she cried out, "MAMAAAAAAA!"
Slow understanding crept over her. The war... Father's death... Infinite Tsukuyomi...That's right...What I saw back there... It was all a dream...
The understanding crushed her very soul. Nanami could still feel her mother's arms around her. She hugged herself, trying to bring back that warm feeling. Sobs racked her body and she struggled to suck in the air between them, hiccupping instead. Nanami knew she should be happy that their enemy was defeated and that being back, in reality, meant that the world was saved, but she couldn't help the despair creeping into her heart.
A hand gently touched her shoulder and Nanami's head shot up to look at Kiba standing behind her. The pained expression painted on his face was one of understanding, an inkling idea of what she experienced in her dream.
"Kiba..." her voice cracked.
He crouched and she turned her body to face him. "Kitten..."
Kiba cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over the scar under her eye, wiping away another tear. He loved the scar that she saw as a deformity and painful reminder of her past. It was how he knew she was real. He was really back here with her. Knowing there was nothing he could say to mend her shattered heart, he left it at that and wordlessly wrapped her into a hug. Kiba pressed her tightly against him as if shielding her from further heartbreak.
While Kiba thought that he would do anything to take away his love's pain and feeling like he was doing very little to do so, Nanami continued to hiccup on her sobs and melted into his embrace.
"I'd be happy to know that you're happy. That's all a mother wants for her child."
While Nanami's heart still ached from the feeling of losing her mother a second time, she thought that she finally knew what home felt like. It was here in Kiba's arms.