Chapter 20: PTSD

The scenes outside the helicopter flew passed in a blur of colors as my mind wandered off to the last few weeks, to Cloud. I've spent almost every night at his place. Not doing anything in particular, just talking about our hopes and dreams, and watching movies here and there. Things that I assumed a normal couple would do. Couple... It was still strange to assume that we were a couple now. A nice strange, but still strange. Zack still insisted on meeting him, but I still won't allow it to happen. More for Cloud's sake than Zack's. Zack would torment him with questions, I just knew he would, and I didnt want to scare Cloud away when we've just started our.. thing?

Dating.. just say dating, Senna. No matter how strange it is to say outloud. Cloud is your boyfriend.

"Earth to Senna!"

I was brought out of my thoughts by Zack waving his hand in front of my face. Slapped it away, I narrowed my eyes at him. He laughed and sat back in his seat.

"Where'd you go?" He chuckled, "I've never seen you so spaced out."

"Some place nice before you interrupted me." I said flatly.

"Well grab a post card and go back some other time." A Turk named Reno said from the cockpit of the helicopter, "We're almost there."

Crossing my arms, I shuffled in my seat and looked back out the window. Director Lazard had lifted my suspension weeks ago and thought it would be best for my first mission back to be with Zack. Zack, of course, didn't object to the arrangement, especially since this mission involved Genesis and Angeal. He's been borderline obsessed with finding Angeal ever since he disappeared in Wutai. Any clue that leads to him, or Genesis, he'll pounce on it like a cat with a mouse. He's even been asking members of their fan clubs if they had heard anything about them. I think he even gets the fanmail.. Anyways, the rumor right now is that Genesis copies were sighted outside of Gongaga, near the old reactor that has long since exploded. This was another reason Zack was so eager to go. He had to be sure our parents were safe, even if we were told we wouldn't have time to visit with them while we were there.

Once we landed, Zack, myself, and the two Turks, Reno and Rude, exited the helicopter, and made our way through the jungle to the old reactor. We were silent as we walked, Reno and Rude trying their best to silence their footsteps on the rough terrain. It was quite obvious that they weren't used to traveling like this, while me and Zack were old pros. Who knew that growing up in an outside town would prove to be useful in SOLDIER. As we trudged through the jungle, Zack and I couldn't help but to reminisce our old memories of growing up here.

"Remember playing hide and seek in that old place?" I whispered to Zack.

He lightly chuckled, "Yeah, and dad would show up and drag us out by the ear. Always giving us the same lecture about not playing there."

"I still think that's the reason one of your ears is bigger than the other." I giggled as Zack held his hands over his ears.

"They are not!"

"Can you guys do this some other time?" Reno whispered from behind us, "You do know we're trying to not get caught, right?"

Zack and I looked at each other and shrugged. Reno was right, but neither of us were going to say it out loud. He didn't deserve that satisfaction with the attitude he's been sporting the whole way.

As we approached the reactor, we stayed hidden in the thicket of over grown bushes and young saplings. So far, there were no signs of any Genesis copies, or Angeal. It was quiet outside the reactor, not even a small sign of wildlife was around.

"Alright SOLDIER goons, you go check it out." Reno gave me a small tap on the back of my shoulder. I glared back at him, making him recoil a small amount away from me.

"Why do we have to go?" I whispered with annoyance, "Why don't you two go and check it out?"

Reno put his hands up and shrugged, not interested in answering me.

"You were both talking the entire way here about playing in the reactor as kids." Rude interjected, "Therefore, you have the most experience here, and it would make more sense to send in someone who's more familiar with where they're going."

Zack and I both sighed.

"Fine, we'll go ahead. Don't wait up." Zack said and crawled out of the under brush.

"Lazy Turks." I mumbled.

"What was that?" Reno asked with venom in his voice.

"I said hazy jerks." Reno looked confused and was about to speak when I said, "Don't get your suits dirty." before following Zack to the reactor.

Keeping our swords on our backs, we lightly walked to the entrance of the reactor. It felt too quiet around us, there weren't even any birds around. Zack held up his arm to signal me to stop as we approached the entrance. He kept a wary hand by his sword as he peered around the corner. I stayed knelt behind him, my hand also ready to grab my sword at the first sign of trouble. After making sure the coast was clear, he waved his hand forward and walked inside. He signaled me to go to the right, while he went left. I gave him a thumbs up, and went off around the corner. The dirt covered ground silenced my footsteps as I crept around the reactor. It wasn't that big, so there would have been a sign of a Genesis copy by now, wouldn't there? I ducked under a fallen steel beam and peeked around a pile of rubble when I heard a crunch of rusted metal behind me.

Without hesitation, I drew my sword and sung at the possible enemy behind me, stopping short when I saw a pale freckled face looking at me. The child's eyes filled with fear as my blade stopped short at his shoulder. I froze, my eyes wide as I was pulled back to the little girl who was in the other reactor. The monster child that nearly cost me my life, and my job. Her image replaced the boy in front of me, her pale face melting in the sunlight, morphing into that monster. The image of the girl and boy flashed back and forth before me. The boy's green eyes looking at me in terror, his red hair ruffling in the breeze that blew through, then to the little girl. Her red eyes menacing and blood thirsty, her blond curls melting away with her skin. My hands shook as my brain fought with itself about whether to strike or withdraw.

"Senna!"

Zack appeared around the corner and ran towards us. He grabbed the kid and pulled him out of harms way. I dropped my blade and fell to my knees, releasing a breath I didn't realize I was holding. My mind had calmed as I looked at the little boy by the wall, his eyes filled with tears, as did mine as I thought about what had almost happened.

"It's ok, Sen." Zack said softly as he walked to me, "You're alright."

"I almost-I could've...H-He just..." I rambled in a hushed tone.

"But you didn't. It's ok. These two were just playing in here."

Then I noticed another red haired boy by the one I almost cut down, the freckles on his face identical to the other one. He sat next to his brother, consoling him out of the shock he was experiencing.

"They're twins." I said out of the blue.

"Yeah." Zack grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, handing me my sword, "I'm guessing these two were in here when whoever sent the report had come by. Just a false alarm."

He walked over to the kids and knelt down in front of them.

"Listen, you guys can't play in here anymore ok?" He said softly, "It's not safe anymore. You understand?"

The two nodded and ran out of the reactor. Zack turned back to me, clearly worried.

"You good?" He asked.

With a deep inhale, I nodded and blew the air out my nose.

"I'm good."

"Alright, let's go tell the Turks it's all clear in here."

He led the way out of the reactor and back to Reno and Rude. We explained what happened about the kids playing here, and returned to the helicopter. I had calmed down significantly after the shock of what I almost did subsided. Zack didn't tell the Turks about what I had almost done to the child, must to my pleasure. When the copter started, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, seeing I had one new message.

'Be safe. I miss you.

-Cloud'

With a smile, I closed my phone and let my mind wander as I looked out the window.

Ok yes, this is a very short chapter, but I almost have my mix up with the timeline fixed and this is basically a filler chapter. We're almost coming up on Zack and Cloud meeting and by then everything should be fixed. It's getting close to the end, but not too close. If it makes anyone feel better, I have a side story partially written up already until the sequel is done! So there's that. Leave a review and let me know what you all think! I love you all! Thanks for sticking with me for so long, even though I'm a crappy author who never updates when I say I'm going too ^_^ Working on that..