Chapter 21: Touch and Go

Carol hadn't slept. Neither had Negan. Lucy had been in and out of consciousness all night, and sometime around daybreak, she spiked a fever. Carol went upstairs to make sure Lydia was fed and changed and okay before returning to the man and his laboring wife.

She was growing weaker, and Carol wasn't sure if the fever had to do with the bite or just from the infection from the amputation. Either way, Lucy was in extremely bad shape, and Carol wasn't sure she'd be strong enough to deliver when the time came. Still, Negan sat by her side and held her hand, and Carol hoped Daryl would come home soon.

When Carol let Dog outside, she kept the baby monitor in hand. When Negan stepped into the kitchen where she was making coffee and oatmeal for breakfast, he noticed it.

"You have a kid."

"I have a kid," she said quietly, not turning to face him.

"That's why you don't want us upstairs."

"I don't know you. I took a risk letting you in my home, but you and your wife needed my help. How's your ankle, by the way?"

"Fine," he said quietly. "Didn't bleed much. You've got a hell of a guard dog." He looked around. "Just you here?"

"Any answer wouldn't be a smart answer," Carol pointed out, serving oatmeal into two bowls. She poured two mugs of coffee, and motioned for him to partake. He stepped up beside her, grabbed the bowl and the coffee mug and looked out the window by the kitchen sink.

"She's not getting better." Carol said nothing. "She's gonna die. The baby's gonna die."

"You don't know that," Carol said quietly. "Let her rest now. But if she doesn't deliver soon…"

"What?"

"You might have to make a decision."

"What kind of decision?" Negan stirred his spoon around his bowl but didn't take a bite. He placed the bowl on the counter. "My kid or my wife?"

"Maybe."

"There's no choice. I can make another kid. I can't make another Lucy." The second the words were out of his mouth, he looked like he'd been sucker punched in the gut. "Jesus. I didn't…"

"It's ok," Carol said quietly, blowing over her steaming coffee before taking a sip.

"It's not." He turned to walk away, leaving his breakfast on the counter. He stopped, and Carol turned to look at him. "What kind of choice?"

"She's getting weaker," Carol said softly, her eyes brimming with tears. She blinked them back. "We may have to cut the baby out."

"You ever done that?"

"No." She shook her head. "She would bleed out. She wouldn't…" She cleared her throat, and Negan took a step closer to her. He was tall, a good foot taller than her, and he was thin but muscled, and he looked like he could take down anybody if he had to. She fought the urge to take a step back.

"You could save the baby?"

"I don't…I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a nurse. I'm not…" She wiped her hands on the kitchen towel by the stove. "But if the baby doesn't come soon…" Negan held a hand up and then turned and silently walked back to the room where his wife was resting.

Carol sat down at the table and ate a few bites of her own breakfast, but she found that her appetite quickly left her. So, she swallowed down a couple gulps of coffee and then went to the door to let Dog back in. She had just got Dog inside the house when a yell from the back of the house had her running to the guest room.

Lucy was pale and sweating, but she was awake. She was straining, and when Carol moved to her bedside, Negan was holding Lucy's hand again.

"Something's not right," the woman panted. Negan's gaze flashed up to Carol, and she saw the fear there.

"Okay," Carol offered softly. "It's ok. I'm going to…to check you, ok?"

"Save him," Lucy whispered. "Please. Whatever happens to me, save my boy."

"Luce, you gotta rest," Negan insisted, kissing her hand. "You're gonna be alright. Our little girl is gonna need her mama." A sad smile spread across his face, and Lucy's eyes fluttered close for a moment, a smile spreading across her face when he leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"We both know I'm not," she bit out. "He's going to need his father."

"He," Negan choked out, kissing her forehead once again. "Alright." When he pulled back, he watched her smile begin to fade, and then her eyes screwed shut and her head fell back against the pillow. She let out a sharp cry just then, and Carol lifted up the bed sheets. She could see the baby's head was crowning. She'd never attended any live births aside from her daughter's, and from what she could remember from the birthing video she'd watched in her Lamaze class, the baby's head wasn't supposed to be blue like that.

The look on her face must have given her away, and Lucy began grasping at the sheets with her one hand, pulling them back as if she could see for herself.

"What is it?" she asked, choking back tears.

"What's happening?" Negan asked, standing up and moving toward Carol. She pulled the sheet back down, and she held her hand up.

"You might want to step outside."

"I'm not leaving her! What's wrong?" Carol looked up at him, and she swallowed back the anxiety that bubbled up in her chest. She turned her attention from him to Lucy then, and she reached out to take Lucy's hand.

"I need you to listen carefully. The baby's head's blue. But the cord could be wrapped around the neck." She felt her brain screening, and what little knowledge she had of childbirth aside from her own experience was from watching countless television shows, inaccuracies and all. But, she figured that any attempt to help was better than nothing. So, she grabbed the bottle of hand sanitizer and cleaned her hands.

Lucy bore down and pushed hard again, making a little progress, though the head was still blue. Carol then reached down and inserted her finger past the baby's head, feeling against its neck until she felt something that didn't quite feel right. It wasn't terribly tight, and she was able to make some slack as Lucy pushed against her hand.

"Oh God, it's coming!" Lucy screamed, reaching to grip the side of the bed. She strained, falling back against the mattress, her energy wearing thin. Carol looked to Negan, and she nodded to Lucy.

"Okay, she's getting weaker," Carol instructed. "I need you to get behind her. I need you to help her sit up, and I need you to let her hold your hand. She's going to need to bare down." Negan scrambled then, pulling his wife up enough to slip behind her on the bed. He took her hand in his and let her squeeze it, and her head fell back against his shoulder. "Lucy. Lucy!" The woman's eyes fluttered open. "I need you to stay with me. Ok? Stay with me. He's coming. Your boy's coming. You're gonna see him in just a minute, but I need you to stay with me, ok?"

"Help her," Negan choked out, as Lydia went limp in his arms. And then she remembered something. She remembered the delivery nurse helping her push when she grew exhausted. She remembered her pushing while the nurse pushed down on her belly.

"I need you to help her," Carol instructed. "Hey. Look at me." Negan's eyes were wild, terrified, and Carol kept her eyes on his. "Listen to me. I need you to put your hands on her belly and push. Push from the top, alright? She needs you. Can you do that for her?"

"I…"

"Hey. Negan! You need to help her. She needs you. Your baby needs you." Negan swallowed hard, but he nodded, burying his face in Lucy's hair for a moment, whispering something before he began to push on her belly. "Good. Good. Lucy. Hey! Lucy, can you open your eyes for me?"

"The baby," she panted.

"Lucy!" Carol called. "Open your eyes, Lucy. You're about to see your boy. Can you do that for me?" Lucy's eyes fluttered open, and when the pain ripped through her again, she cried out. "Good. Good. Stay with me! I need you to push!" Lucy cried out then, baring down as Negan pushed against her belly. She began to bleed, but Carol kept calm, keeping her hands steady as the head cleared the birth canal. She quickly unwrapped the rest of the cord. "Okay. Okay! Good girl. Good job. The head's out. I need one more big push, ok?" Lucy nodded weakly, and with Negan's help, she bore down and pushed hard. In a moment, the shoulders were free, and then Carol was able to help pull him into the world.

Lucy fell back in his arms, as Carol quickly turned the baby over, patting his back as the fluid left his lungs. He let out a mewling cry, and Carol quickly severed the cord with the first aid scissors.

"Is he ok?" Lucy whimpered. "He's a boy. I know he is."

"He's a boy," Carol choked out, unable to hide the emotion in her voice. "He's beautiful." She wrapped the baby in a towel, and she handed him over to his mother. Lucy could barely hold him with her arm, but Negan wrapped his arms around her and helped her hold him. The woman was weak and still so pale, and recovery seemed unlikely. Carol knew Lucy's life was out her hands.

There was half dozen corpses strewn along the pavement outside the storefront. Daryl and Merle had put them down and let them inside to see what they could find to take back home. Somehow, the idea of coming back with something, even if it wasn't someone seemed better than coming home empty handed.

Daryl grabbed several cans of formula, even though Lydia was eating more of the jarred baby food. He figured it wouldn't hurt to have something for backup just in case.

"She actually eats this shit?" Merle asked, holding up a jar of strained peas.

"She loves 'em. Loves the bananas too. Got any of that?"

"Yeah. A few jars."

"Get 'em. Grab everything so long as it ain't expired." Merle grunted and carefully placed the glass jars in a box. He picked up a taller jar and nearly gagged. "Turkey, carrots and green beans? Looks like somebody yakked and scooped it in a jar."

"Just put it in the box," Daryl sighed. Merle continued making his way down the line. Daryl grabbed three big boxes of diapers in Lydia's size and tossed them in a shopping cart. A couple aisles over was the liquor aisle, and Merle made a beeline for the hard stuff. "Merle."

"What? You shot me in the fuckin' leg, and you're gonna deny me a drink?"

"One bottle," Daryl insisted. "I got a kid to look after, and I ain't gonna have your ass stumblin' around drunk all the time."

"One bottle," Merle snorted. "Better make it a good one." He grabbed the largest, most expensive bottle of whiskey he could find and put it in the cart. Next, they made their way to the shampoo and soap aisle, and Daryl grabbed a few of Carol's favorites and then his own. Merle threw some things in the cart, and then he wiped out an entire row on the condom shelf. Daryl eyed him.

"You got high hopes for you and your hand?"

"Never know who might come along," Merle grinned. "Be prepared. My motto."

"You ain't no boy scout," Daryl chuckled.

"You getting' any for you? They sell extra small? Maybe you need these." He held up a box of finger cots.

"Fuck you, bro," Daryl laughed. Merle smirked and grabbed a couple bottles of ibuprofen off the shelf.

"First time I heard ya really laugh in all this shit," Merle pointed out. He saw the grin fade from Daryl's face. "It's alright. Gotta have a sense of humor."

"Let's just get this shit and get outta here. I wanna get home."

"Home? You sure?"

"Ain't you the one that didn't see the point in us goin' all the way out here?"

"Sure, but I'm surprised to hear ya givin' up so easy."

"Ain't givin' up. They ain't here. They ain't at Woodbury. They ain't at the prison. And if they are, they're like Beth. They're gone." He chewed the inside of his lip for a moment. "Carol? She ain't gone. Lydia ain't gone. All I wanna do is get home to 'em. Just wanna move on."

"Alright. What're we doin' standin' here wastin' time? Let's get you home to your woman." Merle tossed the box of finger cots at him. "Here. Ya might need these."

"Asshole," Daryl grunted, and Merle smiled wide.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think. Feedback is appreciated and inspiring.