"Now you've done it." Tamaki said. "It's done, all right."
"It's not our fault." Twins said.
"Y-You idiots! You're the ones who bumped into it, right?"" Tamaki said.
"That's just because Kuri was running away." Hikaru said.
"We wanted to have some fun, by having her do a little cosplay." Kaoru said.
"We're always doing cosplay, you know!" Tamaki said.
"Not the usual Host Club kind." Hikaru said.
"This time in a bunny girl costume-disguised as a girl." Kaoru said.
"Disguised as a girl?" Tamaki said.
"You'd want to see that too, right, sir?" Hikaru said.
"Stop messing with my sister! And where do you get off trying to take advantage of this commotion?! Get away from Kuri!" Tamaki said.
"No way!" Hikaru said.
"Guys, there aren't any guests here, so I don't mind at all if you make a racket, but are you sure you want to? You'll wake Honey-senpai." Kyoya said.
"High school 3rd-Year, and he's still taking naps?" Kuri said. "Well, we can't help that his bunny has been stained. Let's wake him up and frankly apologize."
"Wait! Don't go near Honey-senpai! Hurry, come take shelter over here!" Tamaki said.
"What do you mean?" Kuri said.
"Honey-senpai wakes up in a megaton-class ill humor. This is just a rumor, but once, when the Haninozuka family visited a U.S. military installation, to give hand-to-hand combat technique training, Honey-senpai is said to have slept the whole time, due to jet lag. And when one soldier carelessly tried to wake up Honey-senpai, Two unfortunate platoons of green beret special forces were wiped out in seconds by Honey-senpai, and ever since, they say there have been diplomatic issues with America." Hikaru said.
"It's terrifying..." Tamaki said.
"What's worse, I've heard that Usa-chan was handmade by Honey-senpai's favorite late grandma. Judging by the way he always carries it with him, there can be little doubt
that it's a precious article to him. Once he wakes up, and sees his Usa-chan irrevocably altered... He's going to irrevocably alter us, too!" Kaoru said.
"You're exaggerating. Any way you think about them, those stories ring false. No, there is other evidence that Honey-senpai has an evil split personality." Kuri said.
"Honey-senpai is type AB." Twins said.
"So?" Kuri said.
"That means..." Hikaru said.
"...he has the same blood type as Kyoya!" Kaoru said.
"Do you have some sort of problem with my blood type?" Kyoya said.
"This is bad. We have to do something before he wakes up. Hikaru, Kaoru..." Tamaki said.
"Sir!" Twins said.
"Get your folks' Cessna. Fly to Osorezan, and bring back a medium. We'll have her channel Honey-senpai's grandma, and make us a new Usa-chan. Take this map of Aomori Prefecture with you. Don't forget the apple juice, apple jam, and Nebuta doll souvenirs!" Tamaki said.
"We don't have that much time." Hikaru said.
"We don't mind the derangement, but please come up with something more constructive." Kaoru said.
"All right, let's go with this: While we send Usa-chan out for cleaning, Kuri, you wear this fur suit." Hikaru said.
"Nice idea!" Tamaki said.
"No way! And for that matter, where did you get that thing?! It's too obvious!" Kuri said.
"It's okay. How can he tell such a slight difference with half-awake eyes?" Tamaki said.
"Then, brother, you wear it!" Kuri said.
"It won't be cute if I wear it! We've given up on the bunny girl thing, so now you can be a real rabbit, instead! Be a real rabbit, instead!" Tamaki said.
"Oh, no! It's too late! There's no other choice but to use another substitute!" Hikaru said.
"Aaah! My teddy bear!" Tamaki said.
"It'll be our turn, next!" Kaoru said.
"Aah! He's discovered his Usa-chan!" Hikaru said.
"Who's the one who got my Usa-chan dirty?" Honey said.
"S-S-Save us, Mori-senpai!" All said.
"Usa-chan said that he absolutely had to drink some tea." Mori said.
"He did? So that's why his face is all dirty, huh? Oh, do you think he wants some cake, too?" Honey said.
Xxx
"Honey-kun, what kind of chocolate do you like?" Girl said.
"Mousse? Bonbons? I'll bet it's chocolate cake that's your favorite, huh?" Girl said.
"Let's see... I like them all." Honey said. "I love chocolate, Usa-chan, and all of you!"
"Oh, how cute!" Girls said.
"Honey-senpai, or Haninozuka Mitsukuni, age 17. Ouran Academy 3rd-Year, Class A, registered in the Host Club. Favorite things include cake, chocolate, and bunnies. Possesses a loveliness befitting a 3rd-Year, and boasts an unassailable boy-Lolita quality." Mana said.
"Honey-senpai is in a good mood, huh?" Kuri said.
"Thank goodness. We settled the Usa-chan issue without any trouble." Tamaki said.
"Honey-senpai's charm points include the phrases "I love candy" and "I love cute things." Or so everyone says, but for my part, I'm not sold on the tepidity of his easygoing character! As it stands, there's just something missing!" Mana said.
"Honey-senpai, if you keep eating nothing but sweets like this, you're bound to develop cavities." Kuri said.
"It's okay. I make sure to brush my teeth." Honey said.
"Honey-senpai, don't tell me..." Kuri said.
"It's nothing, really." Honey said.
"Come on, open your mouth, please." Mori said.
"Hold on." Honey said.
"Honey-senpai, sit still." Kuri said.
"It's nothing! It's nothing! No!" Honey said.
"Yes! That's it, that's it! What was missing was this type of moe!" Mana said.
"Is it a cavity?" Kuri said.
"Yeah." Mori said.
"Oowie! Ouchie! Oowie! Ouchie! Oowie! Ouchie! No, I'm okay." Honey said.
"Tamaki..." Kyoya said.
"Yeah, all right, understood. Until Honey-senpai gets over his cavity, all sweets are off-limits to him. Further, in order to allow the entire club to offer its support, we ask you to temporarily refrain from consuming any snacks within the club." Tamaki said.
"N-No, Takashi... I don't want snacks to be off-limits. I'm not in pain... I'm not in pain, okay? Stop! That's my cake!" Honey said.
"It's off-limits." Mori said.
"And so, pitilessly, Honey-senpai's hellish days had begun." Mana said.
"My, Honey-kun looks so tormented." Girl said.
"The Host Club is to refrain from having snacks." Girl said.
"That must be quite a shock to him, huh?" Girl said.
"But, at the risk of being improvident, he looks just like..." Girl said.
"How lovely!" Girl said.
"Mitsukuni, your bag." Mori said.
"I can carry it myself." Honey said.
"Not that. Let me see it." Mori said.
"I was just looking at them. I wasn't eating them." Honey said.
"I see. If you're just looking, you can have this." Mori said. "I'll keep the real ones."
"Aww, that's rough." Hikaru said.
"Poor guy." Kaoru said.
"You know, I didn't think that Mori-senpai could be so firm." Kuri said.
"You wouldn't expect it, huh? I thought his principles kept him from doing anything to upset Honey-senpai." Hikaru said.
"To think that he could get his highness to go along with him, too..." Kaoru said.
"Tamaki-kun, it's too bad. I wanted you to have some of the chocolate that was specially made by our new patissier, which my family hired in from France, but I understand that
you're refraining from sweets." Girl said.
"Do not fret, my princess. For Honey-senpai's sake, we all want to help him in whatever
way we can to abstain from sweets." Tamaki said.
"My, sir, your friendship is so beautiful." Girl said.
"Besides, I'm sure it's better this way. However delicious the chocolate may be, in the face of my heated love, it would probably melt, and go to waste, as it vanished away." Tamaki said.
"Tamaki-kun..." Girl said.
"Impressive, sir. Nice little act." Hikaru said.
"You changed over quickly." Kaoru said.'
"Buzz off." Tamaki said.
"Our priority at all times is to keep our guests smiling, isn't it? You guys watch yourselves, too. Make sure not to give any kind of candy to Honey-senpai, no matter what tricks he resorts to." Kyoya said. "Oh, incidentally, those instructions come from Mori-senpai, not me."
"Kyoya-senpai seems to be unusually enjoying this, huh?" Kuri said.
"I can't hold it in any longer. I just have to have you accept my feelings for you, Mori-kun." Girl said. "Can't you do that? You don't, by any chance, have someone else that's dear to you, Mori-kun? There is, isn't there?"
"I... I..." Mori said.
Xxx
"Takashi! It looks like my cavity got better!" Honey said.
"Has it?" Mori said.
"The swelling has gone down, too!" Honey said.
"Has it?" Mori said.
"So, can I have just one piece of cake?" Honey said.
"Full recovery still seems a long way off." Mori said.
Xxx
"What are you drinking there?" Honey said.
"D-Darjeeling tea, Honey-kun." Girl said.
"What are you eating?" Honey said.
"A-A spot of a sandwich." Girl said.
"You know what? I think some sweet candy would go well with the tea. You know, like cake, or something. Right? Right?" Honey said.
"Yes...I suppose it would..." Girl said.
"Oh boy, oh boy! Oh boy, oh boy!" Honey said.
"It sure would..." Girl said.
"Oh boy, oh boy! Oh boy, oh boy!" Honey said.
"We're sorry, Honey-kun! It's for your own sake!" Girl said.
"W-Wait!" Honey said.
Xxx
"Honey-senpai..." Kuri said.
"Kuri-chan, am I bad? Have I done anything to make God hate me?" Honey said.
"Okay, look... just a little one, okay?" Kuri said.
"A snack?" Honey said.
"Yes. Here." Kuri said. "The color is kind of similar to chocolate."
Xxx
"He's on edge." Hikaru said.
"Somebody talk to him. He's scaring me." Tamaki said.
"Ah! He's headed for the candy shelves!" Kaoru said.
"Relax. They're all empty, anyway." Kyoya said.
"Kyoya-senpai, you seem to be in a good mood." Kuri said.
"Aah! Not my teddy bear again!" Tamaki said.
"Ah, he's breathed his last." Hikaru said.
"He's given up after three days." Kaoru said.
"H-Honey-senpai? He's gonna eat me!" Tamaki said.
"Mitsukuni, don't take it out on other people or things." Mori said.
"You saved me. I got away without being eaten." Tamaki said.
"It's disgraceful." Mori said.
"Takashi, you...idiot! ! Just a little bit won't hurt, right?! You cheapskate! You hardhead! Takashi... Takashi... I hate you!" Honey said.
"Ah, Honey-senpai!" Kuri said. "Mori-senpai...Hey, are you okay?"
"Mori-senpai, you've taken heavy damage there." Hikaru said.
"But whether you had no choice, or you're just self-destructing..." Kaoru said.
"...if you're going to be so depressed, then you shouldn't have acted in such a way to make him hate you in the first place." Hikaru said.
"It was on purpose?" Kuri said. "Mori-senpai, by any chance, were you trying to get Honey-senpai to hate you? That couldn't be right, could it? Having Honey-senpai hate him would be like the end of the world for Mori-senpai. Why would he do it on purpose?"
"Well, in order to punish himself. Am I wrong?" Hikaru said.
"Because it's all my fault. Mitsukuni's cavity was due to my carelessness. I forgot to make him brush his teeth before his nap, twice." Mori said.
"But Mori-senpai, that's not your..." Hikaru said.
"...responsibility, is it?" Kaoru said.
"If Mitsukuni has to get false teeth, I'll... I'll..." Mori said.
"No, that won't happen, that won't happen." Twins said.
"He's surprisingly negative, huh?" Kuri said.
"I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Mitsukuni hadn't thrown me down." Mori said.
"The rough treatment he got from Honey-senpai was the punishment that Mori-senpai gave to himself. Still, while it may sound like a nice story in the short run, it's a bit much over a single cavity, right?" Kuri said.
"So, there you have it, Honey-senpai. What will you do now?" Tamaki said.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Takashi! I won't ever forget to brush my teeth again! I won't forget!" Honey said.
XXX
"Several days later, after Honey-senpai had recovered from his cavity, rebounding from the candy prohibition order up until then, he greedily stuffed his face full of cake." Mana said.
"Kyoya-senpai looks oddly depressed about something, huh?" Kuri said.
"Honey-senpai's snack costs..." Hikaru said.
"...are just that expensive." Kaoru said.
"Ahem..." Girl said.
"Oh, could we have a new guest? Are you a fan of Mori-senpai?" Tamaki said.
"She's that girl from earlier..." Kuri said.
"I understand. Mori-kun, I now know who it is that is so dear to you. Mori-kun, having the
person most important to you being Honey-kun is so... it's so...somehow, it's just so terribly...nice!" Girl said.
"It would appear that you have just taken your first step into a new world." Mana said.
"Mitsukuni, you have some cream..." Takashi said.
"Moe! What moe! It's the greatest! It's the greatest!" Mana said.
"This seems to have the same mood as a happy ending, but are you really sure this outcome should be viewed as a happy ending? " Kuri said.
"Moe!" Mana said.
"Good grief." Kuri said.