Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

and auld lang syne?

'Where's your friend, Ezra?'

'Hm?'

'Your friend? Anthony? Is he here?'

'Oh, no. He's out of the country, I'm afraid. America. On business.'

'Oh, what a shame! We had hoped he'd be here.'

'Yes, well. These things happen.'

'Gosh, do you just miss him terribly when he's away? I know I miss my Bill something awful whenever he travels without me. Especially at New Year's. I've made it a rule now that if he ever has to travel over New Year, he has to bring me with him. When's your Anthony back?'

'I'm not really sure.'

'Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. You two haven't fallen out, or-'

'Oh, no, nothing like that, just... Well. You know how it is.'

'I'm sorry. Have I put my foot right in it?'

'No, it's fine. If you'll excuse me, I have just remembered that I need to make a phone call. Back in jiffy.'

'I'll get Bill to call in another round of drinks. Do get back before midnight, darling!'

And surely ye'll be your pint-stoup!

and surely I'll be mine!

And we'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

'Yeah?'

'Crowley?'

'What? Aziraphale? Is that you?'

'Yes. Happy New year.'

'Are you calling transatlantic , angel?'

'Well, obviously. I'm not in New York, am I?'

'I don't know. Are you?'

'Of course I'm not. I'm in England. Obviously.'

'Obviously. ...So, you're calling transatlantic just to wish me Happy New Year ? Bit extravagant of you.'

'Yes, well... Has it gone midnight there yet, or are my well-wishes premature? I never can get my head around these blasted time zones. Are you ahead or behind me?'

'Behind. It's only six-fifty-five, here.'

'Is it? Oh. It's almost midnight, for me.'

'Mmhm, I know.'

'Oh.'

'You at a party, angel? I can hear music.'

'Not really a party, just a small get together. Molly and Bill invited me. Invited us both, actually.'

'Molly and Bill? Bloody hell, I haven't seen them in years. How are they?'

'Oh, well enough. They've been living over in Sweden of all places. Their daughter is still over there, in fact. Marrying a local boy, by all accounts.'

'But Bill and Molly have come back to England?'

'Yes, for his work.'

'Oh, right.'

'Mm.'

'Nice of them to invite you. Us. I mean. Surprised they even remember us.'

'Well, I make a point to always send them a Christmas card.'

'Really?'

'I think they still feel rather indebted after that whole-'

'Doesn't that make it a bit awkward?'

'A bit.'

'Are you calling on their phone?'

'No, we're at an hotel, they booked out one of the function rooms. Open bar and buffet, rather good, aren't back in England to stay, you see, just for a few weeks. Then they are off to Japan, I believe.'

'How international of them.'

'Such is life in the technology sector. Or, at least, so Bill has told me. At great length…'

'Hah! He always did know how to bore a room to tears.'

'He cornered me for an hour , Crowley. I know more about Binary Electronic Systems Calculators than I have ever wished to. They have, apparently, moved on exponentially in the past five years. Main-memories of five hundred and twelve bit words are now a thing of the past, you know. The biax-type memory will be up and running by next year, so I'm told.'

'Oh, really? Wow. Fascinating.'

'Isn't it just? I had to pretend to choke on an olive just to get away.'

'I'm sorry, angel, I know I shouldn't laugh. I really ought to have been there to rescue you, shouldn't I?'

'Mm, would have been handy.'

'Hey, forty-five seconds to midnight your end.'

'Is it? Already?'

'Yep. Do you want to, er, get back to your party, or…'

'Oh, well. Seeings as you're on the line, I may as well-'

'Yeah, right. Might as well.'

'I don't have a watch on me.'

'You're hopeless, you know that? And… There we go. Happy New Year, angel.'

We two have paddled in the stream,

from morning sun till dine,

But seas between us broad have roared,

Since auld lang syne.

'Hello?'

'Hey, angel!'

'Crowley?'

'The one and only.'

'Crowley, it is five in the morning…'

'Yeah, didn't wake you, did I?'

'No, but-'

'And it's not quite five, is it? It's five minutes to five. Five minutes to midnight, here.'

'Ah.'

' What's that supposed to mean?'

'What? "Ah"?'

'No "Ah". It's the way you say it.'

'How do I say it?'

'Never mind. You weren't sleeping then?'

'I rarely do, you know that.'

' What are you doing? Are you still out? '

'As you are speaking to me on the bookshop phone, I'll leave you to figure out that puzzle...'

'Oh, yeah, of course.'

'Are you? Out? I've heard that New York's New Year's Eve parties are, what's the colourful phrase you use? Something else ?'

'So they say. Not really my scene, though. I'm just at home.'

'Home? You've purchased a place over there, then?'

'Oh. Er. Right, well, no, not exactly. Just renting. Nothing permanent, or anything. Got a bit sick of hotels.'

'You're staying over there for a while, then?'

'Not if I can help it.'

'For the next few months though, at least?'

'Mm, it's looking that way. '

…

'Angel, hold out your hand.'

'What? Why?'

'Just do it, all right?'

'Fine.'

'Don't sigh at me. Hand out?'

' Yes…'

'Three, two, one-'

'I would be right to assume that the glass of champagne which just materialised in my hand comes courtesy of the demon in the dark glasses at the far end of the bar?'

'Far end of the sofa in his over-priced New York flat, but yes, you've got the right basic idea, angel. '

'Only proper for me to return the favour, then. Steady hand, please, and -'

'A Grasshopper? Really, Aziraphale?'

'What?'

'I send you a champagne flute of exceptionally good vintage, and in return you send me a cocktail made of ice cream and creme de menthe? Classy, angel. Classy.'

'I've seen how many sugars you put in your coffee, my dear, don't try to act sophisticated with me. And you adore mint chocolate chip ice cream. What better than mixing it with alcohol?'

'Not very cool though, is it?'

'Put some ice cubes in it, then.'

'Hah hah…'

'The clock on my desk says it's thirty seconds to, now.'

'My watch says ten.'

' Do you want to do a countdown?'

' Not particularly. '

'...Happy New Year, my dear boy.'

And there's a hand my trusty friend!

And give me a hand o' thine!

And we'll take a right good-will draught,

For the sake of auld lang syne.