Mapleshade opened her eyes to see a plump squirrel in front of her muzzle. She sat up and looked around, her tail bristling with confusion. Her mind was foggy, and she had a pounding headache. Her cheeks were wet, but she didn't remember crying. She flinched when she saw a plump black-and-white tom approach. He had round limbs and large eyes, similar to a kit.

"Hello," he meowed. He had a quiet, gentle voice that didn't appear to have the ability to raise in volume or harshness even if he'd tried. "My name is Myler," he went on. "I hunted that squirrel for you. Go ahead and eat."

Mapleshade looked down at the squirrel. She sniffed at it, remembering poisons that Patchberry had once told her about. Would she be able to even smell half of them if this cat had put them in the prey? Why else would he offer her food while asking for nothing in return?

Myler frowned. "Is something wrong?" he asked. "I didn't do anything to it. I just have so much prey in this area that there's no reason I shouldn't offer you something. I thought of catching you one or two of the many mice in my barn, but since you're from the forest I thought you'd enjoy squirrel more."

"How do you know where I'm from?" she hissed defensively.

"I can smell it on your pelt," he explained. "You're from one of those Clans, aren't you?"

Mapleshade glared at him. "So what if I am?"

"Well, it just got me wondering what you're doing so far from home. I thought you all had duties and such?"

"We do! Why is it any of a rogue's business?"

"I'm hardly a rogue," Myler corrected her. "I'm a barn cat. There's a fine line between rogues, loners, and barn cats."

"Same difference," Mapleshade huffed.

"Look, just eat the prey," Myler requested. "There's no reason for you to refuse."

Mapleshade looked to her paws. "I'm not hungry." Nausea overwhelmed her stomach; she didn't think she'd be able to hold any prey down.

He raised a brow. "If you insist. I've already eaten, so you can just take that squirrel back with you for your campmates."

Mapleshade suddenly realized: she wasn't at camp. "Oh, StarClan, what am I even doing all the way out here?! I need to get back!" Then she remembered why she'd mindlessly fled in the first place. "I… can't," she mewed almost silently.

Petalwhisker's death would hang in the air there. She wouldn't be able to do anything without being reminded of her lost daughter. She would surely face these feelings anywhere, but they'd be worst in ThunderClan territory. At least away from there, she wouldn't be faced with cats who knew anything about it. It was almost comforting thinking about being alone, no worries or responsibilities.

"If you can't go back, you can stay here," Myler offered. "You can make yourself a nest in the barn somewhere; just don't mess with the Twolegs' animals. They come often to tend to them. They have a nest not far away. They don't mean any harm, so there's no reason to fear them."

"I don't need to stay in any Twoleg barn," Mapleshade hissed. "Just leave me alone, will you? Why do you keep bothering me?"

Myler lowered his ears. "I'm just trying to be friendly. I know how it feels not knowing where you belong, and-"

"Don't try to relate to me!" Mapleshade yowled. "Why should I even trust you?!"

Myler shook his head. "You don't have to. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so pushy. Go or stay, whatever you want. Just know that if you want to stay here, you're welcome to." He backed up and went into the barn, sending a final glance back at her over his shoulder.

Mapleshade growled as she paced back and forth. She kicked the squirrel and walked away from the barn. She eventually reached a thin stream, and she flopped down next to it. She stuck her muzzle partially in the water, sipping it slowly for a few minutes straight. Her mind ran wild with thoughts.

Would it really be so bad to accept the offer? Living in the barn would mean that she would never need to worry about food or shelter. She could live without putting any effort into anything. If the Twolegs really didn't want to hurt cats, they shouldn't bother her. Besides, she'd be protected from any predators; what badger or fox would want to move into a barn?

Mapleshade got to her paws, swallowed her pride, and went back to where the large red barn was. She saw Myler through one of the upper windows. When he spotted her, he quickly ran down and outside. He looked pleased to see her.

"Hello again!" he mewed.

"I'll take you up on your offer," she murmured. "I'll live here."

"Great," he purred. "You can have that squirrel still too. Make your nest wherever you want."

After making a moss nest on the upper floor, which she had to access by climbing a "ladder", Mapleshade tucked into the squirrel hungrily. It was only after she'd finished her meal and had started grooming herself when she remembered Petalwhisker's death. She was suddenly overcome with a sensation like she'd never known. It was pain, and hurt, and crushing sadness all at once.

Mapleshade remained motionless, trapped in her thoughts, silently letting tears flow down her cheeks, until sunset. That was when she suddenly regained sense of the world around her. She shakily got to her paws and slowly walked inside of the barn. It was several minutes before she reached the ladder and carefully climbed up it. When she got to her nest, she crashed down into it with a huff.

The day after was painfully slow. Myler tried making conversation, but she ignored him without mewing a single word. Mapleshade simply went through the day as she'd done the last one: eat once, sit still for countless hours, sleep. It only made her thoughts worse, since she had no distraction, but she felt helpless to change anything.

A quarter moon passed as Mapleshade continued ignoring Myler. She'd started hunting the seemingly infinite mice in the barn and eating them just to have something to do. Somehow her constant hunting didn't appear to have an affect on the mouse population. She quickly grew plump to the point of it hurting to move. Her stomach was always upset and painfully full. She would honestly prefer starvation to whatever this was.

However, she kept on hunting and binging. Mapleshade didn't stop to think for even a second; she would just swallow the mouse in a few bites, hunt another, repeat. In the absence of her warrior duties, it felt good to have something to do that didn't take too much energy. Besides, it hardly gave her time to ponder Petalwhisker or anything else. Even though she hated her new habit - addiction? - she couldn't help but keep at it.

Oh, how she grew to hate the taste of mouse.

Mapleshade awoke in her nest to find herself hungry for the forest. She wanted to feel its warmth, have its scent once again imprinted on her dappled pelt. Therefore, she fought her urge to laze about and instead travelled outside of the barn. She hadn't left it since she'd first decided to live there with the exception of making dirt once per day after the sun went down, and being outside felt strange. She heard a voice behind her.

"Where are you headed?" Myler asked with a friendly tone.

"The forest," she mewed. "I want to taste something other than mice."

"I can understand that. Mind if I tag along? I quite enjoy the taste of sparrow." He walked up to stand beside her.

Mapleshade almost refused him, but she decided there was no real harm that came with having company. "Sure," she replied. He would be too busy with hunting to bother her, anyway.

Or so she thought. As they walked, Mapleshade found herself attacked with questions…

"What's your group like?"

"Got any kin?"

"My parents' group has a healer. Does yours?"

"How many leaders do you got? My parents are the only two for theirs."

"Hey, you're pretty quiet. Doing alright?"

"Whoa, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Mapleshade hadn't realized when she'd stopped in her tracks and had scrunched her muzzle up as tears flowed down from her eyes. Myler brushed up against her comfortingly. There they stood as she sobbed, sniffing every so often, for an indeterminable amount of time. He simply murmured comforting words such as, "There, there…", or "It'll be okay…", whenever her cries increased in volume.

It took an incredibly long time, but Mapleshade eventually collected herself and quieted. She then realized that she'd just shown weakness in front of a stranger. What if he intended to use this to hurt her? Even if he didn't know the cause of her emotions, he might exploit them nonetheless. She bristled and backed away, showing her teeth.

Myler's eyes widened. "I… oh. I'm glad you're better now. Do you want to talk about…" He trailed off, sensing her aggression. "Nevermind. I'll go back to the barn. I can tell you want to be alone."

Mapleshade stared after him, an emptiness filling her. No cat could change her feelings, so why try?