Embry and Alex went back to school on the same day, and it was lucky they had – because Alex was pretty sure this whole mess would have been a lot worse if she hadn't been there. As it was though, she was also sure that her being there had only stoked the fire. The day had started off badly; and really, Alex and Embry should have taken the horrid weather as the bad omen it was.

"Morning." Embry greeted her as she hurriedly slid into his car, slamming the door behind her to fend off the torrential rain. She grimaced, soaked from just the short run down her driveway.

"Hey, Em." Alex plastered a smile onto her face anyway, and just because she could, leant across the console to press a kiss to Embry's cheek. He looked… not great. Alex thought he looked more terrified than nervous, but it was more than understandable. "How are you feeling?"

Embry hunched over his wheel a little, as if it could make his now hulking form any smaller. "Like shit. I couldn't sleep all last night." He admitted, and Alex ran her fingers over the buzzed hair at the nape of his neck. He closed his eyes briefly before refocusing on the road. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

Alex kept her eyes on his profile, her fingers at his neck. She'd seen Sam do the same for the others when they got worked up. Not that she had any real Alpha-wolf mojo to calm him, but she figured the contact might help anyway. "We'll work it out. If it doesn't go well, then we'll figure something else out, okay?" Embry had loosened slightly at the 'we,' and Alex let go of him in favour of intertwining her fingers with his free hand.

Quil and Jacob were already at school, as Alex deduced from spotting Jacob's truck in the parking lot, and she knew Embry had seen it too. He stiffened as they got out and walked past it. "I'm cool." He told her, before she could even ask. Then he wrinkled his nose. "Jesus, high school stinks. Literally."

Alex laughed, and hooked her arm with his. "Poor baby…" she teased him, "We'll just have to plug your nose in gym."

Embry made a low noise as they approached their lockers. "I'm not allowed to go to gym, at least, not until after I…" he trailed off, uncomfortable. Alex made an understanding noise.

"Sorry, Em." She told him, as he began to slowly get his books out, noting how careful he was being. Her heart ached. Embry had always been calm, sure, but Alex knew it had been his own way of having – even if was over his own emotions – something he could control that his mother couldn't dabble in or take from him. It must be killing him, having this…thing that was testing the bounds of his limits. Even his own strength; it wasn't his own anymore.

But Alex had faith in him. Embry was determinedly and infallibly his own person, and no amount of physical change would change him.

They had almost made it to class without incident, when Justin Hailey, a good-looking and incredibly douchey senior passed between them. Justin had known her sister, and Alex had known that he was an asshole even before he had stood her sister up and had tried to essentially date-raped her, and so Alex – who had never been good at keeping her feelings to herself, especially the negative ones – had been outwardly hateful and derogatory to the popular senior and his popular crowd since she'd seen his face the next week. Of course, Justin didn't care, but it did mean that Justin knew who she was too.

"Welcome back, Call, I think your boyfriends missed you." Justin said mockingly.

Banging into Embry deliberately, though Justin was the one who resounded and winced, he then smacked Alex's ass, and slapped his equally awful friends high fives as they tried to continue down the hall.

Key word: tried.

Embry had Justin by the back of his shirt, stopping him short with a gurgle and spinning him around, before Justin could take another step. Alex panicked as she realised Embry was growling, right there in the corridor for everyone to see, and that tremors were beginning to race up his body. Though part of her wanted nothing more than to continue to watch Justin's eyes bug out of his face with fear, the more sensible part of her knew they had to keep moving, now.

"Embry!" Alex hissed, tugging on his other arm, both to pull him away and to try and hide his shaking limb. "Em, put him down – c'mon, he's not worth it." Justin made a choking noise when Embry lifted him a little off the ground, and now his friends were starting to look scared too. Alex slapped at Embry's shoulder, moving around to plaster herself to his front and shove at him. "Em, please, baby…" she whispered.

His eyes slid to her briefly, and then he closed his eyes, looking deeply regretful for a moment, before anger flared again. But he put Justin down on his feet, and even though Embry shoved him roughly enough to send him sprawling, Alex could feel Embry's shaking slow. "Sorry." He muttered lowly, unmoving; eyes still fixed on Justin as he hurried away. The hall was beginning to pick up motion again, though there were whispers and wide eyes.

Alex sighed, and pressed her forehead against his chest for a moment before she stood straight again. "It's okay." Embry made a small unhappy noise, and she took his hand, and smiled at him. "Let's get to class."

The first half of the day was a little smoother after that, and Embry only had the shakes once during math when one of their classmates inferred they'd both been out sick from mono. Alex personally thought it had been funny, but she'd kept her foot in the small of Embry's back anyway, reaching under her desk to touch him.

But then it was lunch, which meant Jacob and Quil.

Embry was growing paler by the second, and Alex followed him worriedly as he headed to the cafeteria. It was a riot of noise and sensation, and Alex thought about just how overwhelmed Embry must have been, scanning the tables outside for spots, when Embry stiffened.

"Em! Dude, where have you been!" Quil's sudden enthusiastic greeting startled both of them, Embry taking an involuntary step back, and giving Alex a clear view of the way Quil's happy face fell at the motion. Jacob's own smile was beginning to droop.

"You're huge, Embry." Jacob tried for teasing, tried to smile again. "Did you O.D. on steroids or something?"

Embry shook his head, but seemed to be struck mute. Alex moved to his side, and as she did, her two friends' eyes fell on her, but Alex was distracted. Jacob had grown again, and though Embry was still taller than him, in his newly shifted body, Jacob had nearly caught him. She frowned. "What?" Jacob asked her, smile completely gone. "Were you sick too?" Despite the snappish tone, which made Embry lower his head, his eyes were warm with real concern. Whatever problem was between them, and Alex knew it was something – she and Jacob had been off since the dance – he was still her friend. Still their friend. And he cared.

"Yeah." She said shortly. "We were." She answered for the both of them.

Quil grinned, a little more uncertainly. "Did you guys catch a freaky sex disease? Ew."

Alex smiled slightly, and kicked out at Quil. "Shut it."

They were quiet for another long moment, Quil and Jacob both looking at Embry, Embry still looking determinedly at the ground, and Alex looking at the lunch line. "Em – did something happ-"

"Let's get lunch." Embry said suddenly, and Quil's eyes widened. "Alex?" he asked, lowering his voice a little, and giving her a pleading look.

"Yeah, babe." She answered him automatically, and took his hand. Quil's eyes widened further and he looked between them.

"Was it actually a freaky sex disease?" he asked wonderingly.

Alex scowled at him. "I said shut it, Quil."

"What was it then?" Jacob spoke up suddenly, and Embry shook once. Alex tightened her grip on him, and started to head for the back of the line, pushing Embry ahead of her so she could be a slight buffer. Jacob followed them, still looking curious. "I mean, you both got it right?"

Embry was looking very hard at the burnt looking fries, and Alex looked very hard at Jacob. "Yeah, we did Jacob – but we're better and we're here, okay?"

"Okay, jeez – I was just asking, Alex." Jacob rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you guys are back." He reached over her, and slugged Embry playfully in the shoulder. "Ow, shit!" he winced, and withdrew his hand, looking at Embry.

Embry looked frantic again. "I'm sorry!" he apologized.

Jacob shook his head, "It's- it's not your fault, man." But he still looked a little weirded out, and Embry caught it, and he turned miserably back to the lunch lady.

They were an awkward, unhappy foursome as they sat around the lunch table, Embry inhaling his lunch at a speed that made Quil and Jacob stare, Alex rolling her eyes at them, and sliding her own lunch over to him, ignoring his quiet protest. Quil tried to crack a few jokes, but when no one laughed, he eventually quietened too. Alex ignored her own stomach rumbling, Embry giving her an apologetic look, and took his hand under the table again. Jacob caught the motion, and snorted.

"Look, if you guys wanted some alone time, then you could have just said." Jacob said angrily, and stood. Quil looked confused, as Jacob hauled him up too. "C'mon, Quil, we better leave them be."

Alex made to stand, to yell furiously after them, but Embry's grip tightened, and she looked down at him. "What, Em? He's being stupid."

"Just leave it." Embry whispered. "It's- it's too difficult." He said finally, heartbroken.

Alex sat, but turned to straddle the bench so she could face him. "Embry, are you sure? I don't care what Sam said, if you want to hang out with them, we can. We'll just be careful."

Embry looked momentarily angry. "Sam gave me a gag order. I couldn't say anything if I wanted to." Alex scowled, filing away the knowledge. Embry shook his head. "It hurts their feelings, and I hate feeling like I can't talk to them. And I hurt Jake, Alex."

Alex snorted. "Pretty sure he punched you, not the other way around." At Embry's unimpressed look, she relented. "Fine. For the record, I'm offended that you don't care about hurting me." She said teasingly.

Embry looked stricken, "No, Alex – that's not it at all, I-"

Alex scooted closer to him, raising her hand to place on his shoulder, running her thumb down the side of his neck. "Relax, Em." She told him. "I know you won't."

Embry sighed. "I'm so afraid of breaking everything I touch, Alex, I hate it."

Alex moved closer still, her knees touching his own, and brought her arms around him. Embry returned her embrace, and to the outside, Alex hoped it just looked like a bit of PDA, hoping the student body couldn't see how desperately Embry was clutching at her.

In the parking lot, Alex and Embry had almost made it to his truck, but when Embry sighed, and muttered; "Jacob." Alex got the feeling that their no-good-very-bad day was about to get worse.

"Hey! Guys, wait up."

Embry had always been more forgiving than Alex, and so he turned at their friend's voice. Alex, however, took her time, and when she finally met Jacob's hopeful smile, it was with a terrifying scowl. Jacob blinked at her. "Um. I just wanted to say sorry. About lunch."

"Fuck you." Alex told him, and Embry put a hand on her shoulder.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Could you drop the bad-ass act for one second, Alex? I'm trying to fucking apologize."

Quil, who had ambled over with a grin, flinched at Jacob's tone. "Whoa, dude."

Alex just made a wordless noise of anger. "Well, stellar job, Jacob. You're coming across really remorseful."

"Alex." Embry said quietly, at the same time Quil exclaimed again. "It's fine, Jacob." Embry told him, and Jacob smiled, though his eyes were hot.

Alex wasn't done. "In fact, you seem super remorseful for all the shit you've been giving me recently, too. Thanks."

Jacob gave her a furious look. "Oh – yeah, because you've been such an angel, Alex."

"Guys…" Quil said worriedly. Both Alex and Jacob ignored him.

"Oh, bite me, Jacob – you've been an asshole since May." Alex told him. Jacob looked called out for a moment, but only a moment, because in the next second he was back to angry.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You've been kind of a bitch today, Alex – but notice how I'm apologizing?" He spat, and Alex took a furious step towards him.

Embry's arm snaked around her waist, keeping her still, even as she tugged at him. "Don't give me that shit-!"

"Have you ever considered that maybe you're just not pleasant to be around?" Jacob told her, suddenly cold.

Alex went very still, and Quil gave them all distraught looks, before turning on his heel and walking off. Alex watched him go, suddenly impossibly guilty, as their conversation came back to her; the promise she had made Quil what felt like a lifetime ago. A promise that she had just broken.

"…I don't feel like we're as close anymore..."

"…I promise that things won't change, okay...?"

Alex took another step, to try and go after her friend – but Embry misconstrued her movement – and the next thing she knew, she had been slung over his shoulder as he marched back to the truck. "Enough, Alex." He told her quietly, opening the door with one hand and sitting her gently in the seat before moving around to the driver's side. Alex stared at Jacob's unmoving form. He didn't seem to realise he was alone, eyes far away, hands balled into fists. She looked away from him.

Something that had been a little wrong, a little bent out of shape between them had snapped.

Embry drove her home, politely pretending he couldn't hear her quiet sniffles as she cried, face turned to the forest out of the window. When they got to her house, he leant over and kissed her, soft and brief. It made Alex want to cry again. She headed up to her room, ignoring her dad's holler of hello and her sister's head poking out of her room, slamming her door behind her in the universal warning of leave me alone.

And yes.

Yes, she had considered that she was unpleasant to be around. And yes, she knew she was.

Alex buried her face in her pillow, pretending she wasn't still crying, pretending that Jacob's words didn't hurt as much as they did, pretending that things weren't falling apart and it was her fault.

Alex was mean. She was mean, and bitter, and sometimes cruel. She was angry and loud and spiteful. She didn't know when to shut up or stop, and she didn't know how to tell someone that she loved them. Honestly, Alex didn't want to be around herself either. She wasn't really mad at Jacob for saying what he had. Because he was right – and maybe he'd just gotten sick of her. Maybe at the dance, he'd just had an epiphany or something. Maybe he'd been trying to drop her as a friend for a while. She should add 'doesn't know how to take a hint' to her very long list of faults.

Alex didn't even know how to go about making amends to Quil – wasn't even sure if she could at this point. And Embry – god, Embry – she'd just gone and made his life even more complicated.

Alex let out a cry into her pillow, hoping it would strangle the sound, muffle the horrid feelings.

The moon was encumbered by the still heavy cloud cover, and so the world was in darkness. But not for her. She could see the world around her in near perfect detail, crystal clear through her eyes, every sense finely tuned to pick apart her surroundings.

Then she became aware of the pace she was moving at, caught a glimpse of her – no – his paws, and tuned into the consciousness that was bubbling around her.

Jared was less concerned with his surroundings than he was about Kim. Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim – she was at the forefront of everything. She marvelled at the sheer brilliance of his adoration. Kim was mad at him, Kim had thrown a shoe at him, Kim was right to be mad – he had totally forgotten about her dad's birthday – he was such an idiot. Patrol wouldn't be over for another few hours, so he had another few hours to come up with an apology. He wished his patrol was over now. He just wanted Kim, Kim, Kim-

She tuned him out, tried to at least, and succeeded in at least ignoring him. Instead, she watched the wood through his incredible eyes. She could tell now, that the wolves were not one and the same in their abilities. Jared seemed to be able to see better than the others; just as Embry seemed to be faster, Paul strong. She wondered what about Sam would be unique-

She slid.

She slid in a dizzy mess of colour and sensation, and felt sick-

Alex twitched, feeling her Walk slipping from her, and swallowed against the nausea in her gut, keeping her eyes closed-

She was watching Emily, eyes lingering on her absent, careful movements as she folded pastry into shapes.

This time, this time, she was on two legs.

This time – in the reflection in the window behind Emily, she watched as she ruffled her, no, his hair – he was thinking about Jared and Kim too. Kim had called Emily. Poor Jared, he was in for it.

SAM.

They startled, Sam standing up so fast that his chair fell over, Emily jumping in fright, Sam turning to catch someone who wasn't even there-

She was slipping again, even as he thought about her;

Alex? Is that-

"Damn." Alex blinked open her eyes, still feeling nauseous and oddly shaky.

From her schoolbag, her phone started ringing. She had a feeling she knew who it would be – but even so, she rolled off the bed, standing unsteadily and fishing out her phone and answering the call.

"Alex?"

"Who else?" She responded, trying for humour, but with how scratchy her voice was, it just sounded a little forlorn. Sam huffed a breath into the phone.

"Was that…?" he trailed off, sounding a little uncertain.

"Yeah, sorry." Alex said, sitting down on her bed as her legs wobbled. "I don't know what happened. Didn't even realise I fell asleep. One minute I was with Jared, and next I was with you."

"Well, that's new." Sam's voice was hard to decipher. She couldn't tell if he sounded wary or excited. "You going to tell Billy?"

Billy was not his son, but Alex didn't really feel like talking to anyone named Black right then. "Um."

"I can, if you want?" Billy offered. "You okay, Alex?"

Alex kind of wanted to cry again. Now, not only was she feeling emotionally destroyed, her body was being weird and it felt like she was going to throw up. "I'm fine." She said instead.

"You've been crying." Sam told her, and she could practically see his stern, parental gaze. Oh, but she longed for them, suddenly, achingly. She wanted a hug from Emily, and she wanted Sam to give her awkward advice – because he may have been a wolfy guru, but Alex doubted he knew how to deal with teen drama. "Alex, I can tell you're upset."

"I'm okay, Sam." In the background she heard Emily's soft voice, worried. "Really, Sam."

"Okay, Alex." It was the tone of a man who knew she was lying, but knew she wanted to be left alone. "Well done, I suppose. You seem to be getting better at things."

"Yeah. I suppose." She echoed him, staring unseeingly at her wall. "I've got to go, Sam."

"Sleep well, Alex."

She resisted the urge to tell him that she would not be sleeping again that night.

"Goodnight, Sam. Tell Emily goodnight too."

She hung up, and threw her phone away – ignoring the ominous clatter as it landed – and collapsed backwards. Nope. Definitely no more sleep tonight. That was weird enough to last her several lifetimes. Alex fell asleep within the hour, and it was dreamless, painless and deep.

Alex had the best sleep she'd had in years.