Chapter Seventeen
Josh and Cory both held on to their mother's hand as they stood facing their father's tomb. Josh wasn't sure how he was feeling...or how to act. He just wanted to be there for his Mom.
Amy gazed silently at her husband's engraved name on the tombstone with a look of slight shock on her face. There were no tears in her eyes. Josh knew that she was doing her very best to be strong...until everyone left, and she could finally allow her tears to flow.
"Mom, do you want us to leave you alone with Dad for a few minutes?" He asked her softly.
Amy didn't respond for a few seconds as she stood silently with her eyes closed, almost as if she was praying. After about a minute, she opened her eyes and nodded.
"Yes. I just need five minutes," She muttered weakly.
"Ok," Josh nodded before glancing over at Cory.
"We'll be right by the car, Mom. Just call if you want us to come back sooner," Cory informed her.
Amy nodded solemnly as she gave her second oldest son a soft smile. "Will do. Thanks Cory," She responded.
"Sure. I love you, Mom," Cory whispered before pulling his Mom into a warm embrace. Josh felt tears in his eyes as he watched them. After they disengaged from the embrace, he immediately addressed his mother.
"You know Mom, I love you way more than him. Just wanted to point that out," He joked.
"Lies, Mom! All lies!" Cory protested passionately with an amused grin.
Amy grinned widely at his sons' silly antics before waving them off. "Ok, we'll figure this out later, boys. Now leave me alone," She ordered them.
Josh and Cory chuckled at her response.
"See you in a few, Mom," Cory retorted.
"Bye Mom," Josh whispered before leaning in and kissing his mother's forehead fondly. "Here are the flowers," He handed his mother the large bouquet of roses they had purchased on their way to the cemetery.
"Thanks Sweetheart," Amy beamed at her son.
Josh and Cory left her alone and sauntered towards the rest of the family who were waiting for them about a yard away in-front of the Matthews' family church.
Topanga approached her husband as soon as she saw him.
"Hey, how is she?" She asked him in a slightly anxious tone.
"She's ok..." Cory responded with a soft sigh. "She's trying really hard to be strong...we gave her some time alone. So, we can all go and join her in about five minutes."
"Oh ok," Topanga nodded.
"How are you doing Josh?" She asked him softly.
Josh smiled warmly at his sister-in-law. He appreciated her concern. For as long he could remember, Topanga had always made an effort to look out for him, almost as if he was her own son.
"I'm ok," He muttered. "Thanks for asking Topanga."
"Of-course Honey," Topanga responded with a wide smile.
"Uncle Josh," Auggie released his mother's hand and grasped Josh's hand tightly. "I...I don't know if I wanna go there..."He pointed towards the cemetery.
"Aww...You don't have to go there, Augs, if you don't want to..." Josh told him softly. "I'll stay here with you. Or we can go to the church and say a prayer when everyone goes to say hi to Grandpa. Ok?"
Auggie nodded.
"Pssh. Forget him. I'll stay with you, Auggie," Maya stated with a teasing grin. "I know you like hanging with your cool uncle, but I'll let you play any game you want on my phone if you stay with me. Bet your uncle won't even let you do that. Am I wrong?"
Josh glanced at his girlfriend with an amused smile on his face.
Auggie narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Maya.
"What's the catch?" He simply asked her.
The entire family burst out laughing when they heard that.
"Dang, you don't trust Maya, Augs?! I don't think there's a catch. She just wants to stay with you that's all," Shawn defended his daughter.
"There's no catch Auggie...I'm just feeling a lil nice today," Maya replied with a mischievous grin.
"You never let me play on your phone, though. And you're always playing pranks on me. That's why I'm currently feeling suspicious of your motives," Auggie insisted.
"Holy crap!" Shawn exclaimed in shock when he heard Auggie's comment. "Smart kid! That's a lotta big words you just put together Auggie. You're doing a great job Topanga cos I know he didn't learn all these fancy words from Cor."
Topanga giggled as Cory grinned widely in amusement at his best friend's comment.
"Shawn...that's not nice..." Katy chided her husband.
"What? He's not offended! Right Cor?"
"Not at all Shawnie," Cory responded. "And you're right. The boy did not learn how to speak like a lawyer from me."
"See?!" Shawn turned to his wife. "I know Cory Matthews like the back of my hand. He don't speak like that."
Katy simply shook her head at him in immense amusement.
"Ok fam. It's been five minutes. We ready to go join Mom?" Cory asked the group.
They all nodded solemnly.
"Augs, are you gonna be ok staying here with Maya? We'll be back soon, ok?" Topanga asked her son.
"You really don't have to be suspicious Auggie. I'm gonna give you my phone, I swear. This isn't a prank,"Maya reassured him.
"And I'm gonna stay with you too, Auggie," Riley informed her brother with a warm smile. "I'll make sure Maya keeps her promise ok?"
Auggie nodded. "Ok! I trust you, Riley," He stated enthusiastically.
"Oh wow...I'm hurt, Auggie!" Maya protested.
"Sorry, Maya," Auggie shrugged. "Just trying to protect myself so you don't trick me again. Can't blame me."
Maya giggled. "Understood. It's ok, Auggie."
"Alright, we'll be right back girls. Just wait for us here ok?" Cory told them.
"Ok," Maya and Riley replied in unison.
Josh approached Maya as the adults started heading towards the cemetery.
"Come on, Auggie. I'll give you my phone first. Let's go sit on the church steps," Riley quickly led Auggie away in order to give her best friend and her uncle some privacy.
"Thanks Maya," Josh muttered as he smiled warmly at her.
"Uh...for what?" Maya gave him a confused look.
Josh beamed at her. "For volunteering to stay with Auggie...when he asked me to stay with him...thank you...for doing that," He explained.
Maya smiled warmly at him, as she felt her heart racing the longer he gazed at her. "Oh, I didn't do that for you. Heck no. Auggie's a sweet kid. Just wanted to spend some time with him. You know...bond. Get to know the guy," She grinned teasingly at him.
Josh chuckled softly at her response before he turned to walk away.
"Boing," Maya called out to him softly. He immediately turned back around to face her.
"Yeah?" He responded.
"Um...say hi for me...and uh...tell him that I miss him...a lot..." Her voice trailed off as she felt her eyes beginning to fill with tears. She pushed them back.
Josh gazed at her for a quiet moment. A wide smile appeared on his face as he felt his heart beating rapidly. His eyes filled with tears. He didn't push them back.
"I will," He finally responded before continuing his journey towards his father's grave.
Smackz: Maya...Riley...I know this is a sensitive topic, but I wanted to talk about Zay...I think he should still be our friend...
Farkle: Smackle...I thought we talked about this...
Smackz: Well, I spoke to Zay today...and the issue is a lot more complicated apparently...I don't think it's right that he's not hanging out with us anymore...He doesn't really have any other friends in school...I'm sorry, but I'm just being honest...
Maya H: Smackle, I'm not sure what Zay told you but I don't want you or anyone to stop being friends with Zay. You can be friends with him. That's fine.
Smackz: Is it though? Because the group is now broken...and it's made me very sad because I like all of us. Once you stopped being friends with him Maya, he separated himself...and if it wasn't for Lucas, he wouldn't really have anyone...so is it really ok if we're still friends with him? I really just want to know...
Farkle: Smackle, please stop...let's talk about this outside of the group chat ok? This needs to be discussed in person not via group text...
Smackz: Sorry, honey...It's hard for me to express myself in person...easy with group chat...you know that...
Farkle: I know, but you're not really approaching this the right way...so let's just drop this and talk about it later in person ok? When we see each other at school on Monday...
Smackz: Ok, but all I'm saying is if we really cared about Zay then we wouldn't treat him like this...it's just not right...
Farkle: Omg...honey, pls...stop...
Maya H left
"Peaches...are you ok?" Riley asked her softly.
Maya stared at the large clock hanging on the wall of Morgan's bedroom where they were staying for the weekend at the Matthews' home in Philly. She didn't respond.
It was 11:30pm at night. She had been getting ready for bed after having wished her boyfriend goodnight. She had been happy.
It had been a difficult day for the entire family, but they all felt their spirits lifting as the day progressed. They left New York City late that Friday afternoon towards Cedar Heights, Philadelphia to spend the weekend at the Matthews' family home. On their way, they stopped by Alan Matthews' grave to pay their respects and to spend some time with the beloved family patriarch. Once they finally arrived at the house, every single one of them was emotionally drained and slightly exhausted from their trip and their time spent in the cemetery. However, an unexpected visit from their next-door neighbor, Mr. Feeny, lifted their spirits considerably.
Mr. Feeny spent the evening with them catching up on their lives in New York, and informing them of all the "intriguing" gossip they had missed in Cedar Heights. He cracked jokes, he laughed with them, and when the conversation inevitably moved on to reminiscing about Alan Matthews, he cried with them. He also spent some time alone with Amy as they strolled through the large backyard together. She looked much happier after her chat with George Feeny.
All in all, it had been a good, peaceful evening with the family. And at the end of it, Maya was looking forward to getting some rest before their upcoming trip to the pumpkin patch the next day. She hadn't expected Smackle to message their Snapchat group - which Zay left the day Maya informed him that she couldn't be friends with him anymore- late that night to argue on Zay's behalf.
As Maya sat on the bed thinking about Smackle's comments, she couldn't help but reflect on the extremely difficult conversation she had with Zay just a couple days ago.
"I can't be friends with you anymore, Zay. I'm sorry..."
"Maya, please, you have it all wrong..."
"How do I have it all wrong, Zay? Are you trying to say that Josh has been lying to me?"
"No, Maya. What I'm trying to say is that I care about you...so much. I'd never want to hurt you girl. I need you to believe that."
"If you didn't want to hurt me Zay, you wouldn't have threatened my boyfriend! You wouldn't have lied to him in Six Flags about stuff that I never even said about him! You wouldn't have tried to ruin my relationship, Zay! I thought you were my friend!"
"But I AM your friend, Maya!"
"NO! You're not, Zay. Not after everything you did to hurt Josh. Because a good friend wouldn't do that. You wouldn't go to my dad and lie about my boyfriend! I can't believe you actually did that, Zay!"
"First of all, I didn't lie about Josh. I told Shawn the TRUTH about how Josh had treated you. And I did it all FOR you because I CARED about you, Maya!"
"Really?! You did it for me, Zay, or you did it for yourself?!"
"Maya, he treated you like crap that day! I couldn't stand the way he treated you. I was pissed. Somebody needed to say something. That's why I went to Shawn. I thought he needed to know what was going on...I was trying to be a good friend, Maya!"
"No! You weren't Zay! You were trying to get Shawn to break us up! And unfortunately for you, that didn't work...Zay...please don't make this any harder for me than it already is...you have no idea..."
"Maya, please don't cry..."
"You have no idea how hard this is for me...I really liked you Zay...as my friend..."
"Maya, please, I'm so sorry...please give me another chance...maybe, I went too far in going to Shawn...but I did it because I was worried about you...please forgive me...I swear, I won't do that again- I promise."
"I'm sorry, Zay. But I don't trust you...and I don't think it's a good idea for us to be friends...because of how you feel about me...I'm really sorry."
"Maya...please...forgive me...please..."
"I forgive you Zay. But we can't be friends anymore. I'm sorry."
"Is he FORCING you to do this, Maya? Is this your decision or is it Josh's decision?"
"Oh my God, Zay, what the hell is wrong with you?! Listen to this very carefully. I don't need anyone to make a decision for me! I'm NOT a kid! And Josh is NOT controlling me! And he's NOT an abuser! We're done Zay! That's it between us, ok?! I have to go now."
"Maya, please, wait!"
She was gone.
"Maya...please talk to me...are you ok?" Riley asked her friend in a worried tone. Maya shook her head in a futile attempt to erase her haunting memories of the past couple days. The hardest thing for her was seeing the ugly impact that her falling out with Zay was already having on their close group of friends. The group had officially been torn apart. Lucas started sitting with Zay during lunch instead of with the group. Farkle and Smackle were uncertain as to what to do so they sat next to Riley and Maya and didn't really say anything. Maya suspected however that Smackle would probably start sitting with Lucas and Zay for lunch beginning the following week based on her recent comments in the group chat.
Lucas approached Maya earlier that day in school to discuss the tense situation between her and Zay and to see if there was anything he could do to help his two closest friends reconcile.
"He's feeling really depressed Maya about everything...I had to force him to come to school today...I'm not sure if this is gonna make any difference to you, and I know he really screwed up in the way he got involved in you and Josh's business-"
"He LIED about me and Josh, Lucas...let's get that straight..."
"Right...um...I guess what I'm trying to say Maya is that he feels terrible. He wasn't trying to lie-he says he was just really worried about how Josh treated you that day and maybe he got carried away when he called Josh an abuser, but he said he was just looking out for you..."
Maya sighed. "Get to the point, Lucas...what are you trying to say?"
"Um...uh...I'm asking you Maya, if you...if you would give him another chance...if you would forgive him...he screwed up...he admits that...you and Josh's relationship, it wasn't any of his business and he shouldn't have gotten involved...he would like to be your friend again if you would give him another chance..."
"I forgive him, Lucas. I have nothing against him. I wish him the best. But I can't be friends with him anymore...I just can't...I really hope you understand that...and HE understands that..."
"Um...ok...I guess...is it because of Josh? Josh doesn't like him so it's gonna be awkward if you guys are friends?"
"Oh my God, I'm sick and tired of you guys ALL thinking that Josh is the one making decisions for me! Like I can't make my own decisions! Why do you ALL think that?!"
"I'm sorry, Maya...I just thought that maybe that was the reason..."
"No, Lucas, that's NOT the reason. I can't be friends with Zay because I don't trust him. I can't be friends with someone I don't trust. It's just not gonna work. I can't trust that he's not gonna try and screw up my relationship again. I CARE about Josh. I love him, Lucas. So yeah. That's it for me. You guys can still be friends with Zay. I don't have a problem with that. But I can't. I'm sorry."
Lucas gazed at her sadly for a few quiet seconds before he spoke again. "I'm sorry too, Maya. I'm sorry for bothering you."
"It's ok, Lucas-"
"I just...um...I wanted to say this and then I'm gonna stop bothering you...I've known Zay for a long time, Maya. He's one of the most loyal people I've ever met. He's not perfect, but I know that he has a good heart. Sometimes he screws up...he tries to do too much...but it's only because he cares so much about his friends, and because of that, he oversteps his boundaries sometimes...I know that about him. I respect your decision, Maya. You're right. You shouldn't be friends with someone you don't trust. I get that. But I just hope you also come to understand that Zay cares a lot about you, and he was just trying to be there for you...the way Josh spoke to you that day, that wasn't right. If I had been there, I would have probably said something too. I don't think I would have gone to Shawn- I think Zay shouldn't have done that. But I would have said something to Josh about it, because he shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm really sorry that you and Zay aren't friends anymore, but like I told you, Maya, I understand why. I'll talk to you later. Thanks for hearing me out."
And with those final words, Lucas Friar, the boy she had once thought she was romantically interested in, walked away from her.
"Did I screw up, Riles?" Maya asked her best friend softly as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.
Riley sighed as she gently wiped her best friend's tears away. "No Peaches. You didn't," She whispered. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Are you sure? Because I feel like I'm ruining everything..." Maya retorted. "Maybe I am being too hard on Zay...maybe I'm not being fair...maybe, I'm wrong about him..."
"Maya, you can't be friends with someone you don't trust. It's as simple as that. You're not doing anything wrong if you don't wanna be friends with Zay," Riley stated passionately. "Nobody can force you to be friends with him if you don't want to."
"But am I being unfair, Riles? Or too hard on him? Because that's what Smackle and Lucas are saying...what do you think, Riles?"
Riley sighed. "I don't think you're being too hard or unfair to him," She stated after a moment's pause. "Lucas is saying that because that's his best friend. He has known him for a long time. So, like, he feels loyal to him. That's why he's saying that. But he also told me he understands why you don't wanna be friends with him after everything he did. He was just wondering if maybe he could help you guys make up or something, but after he spoke to you, he realized that that wasn't gonna happen, so he's gonna leave it alone. But obviously, he's gonna be there for Zay, because he doesn't really have any other friends at school. So, don't let what Lucas is saying get to you. And Smackle's opinion is her opinion. It doesn't mean that she's right about this. You should do what feels right to you. It's not like you're going around the whole school and talking crap about Zay to everyone. You're just not being his friend anymore- which is fine. So, I don't think you're doing anything wrong, Peaches. Ok?"
"What about the group? The group is gone, Riles...I mean, we're all separated now," Maya mumbled.
"I know," Riley muttered softly. "I know..." Her voice trailed off.
Maya rubbed her face in frustration before she stared off blankly at the ticking clock.
"When I was a kid, I used to just sit and stare at the clock in our house and I would make a wish to turn back time..." She stated softly. "I would follow every tick-tock of the clock with my eyes, and I would just keep wishing to go back in time to when my parents were happy...when they weren't fighting...when we were all happy...I would wish and wish and wish, until I just got tired and fell asleep...and sometimes I would dream that I had gone back in time...but then I would wake up and I would know right away that it was all just a dream..."
With tears in her eyes, Riley placed her arm affectionately around her best friend's shoulders as she listened to her pouring out her heart.
"I really wish that we could turn back time," Maya continued, "to when we first met Lucas and I pushed you into his lap..."
Riley smiled as the memory of that special day enveloped her mind.
"And when we met Zay and I invited him to join the group...and when Smackle came to our school and also joined the group and started dating Farkle officially, so we didn't have to fight for Farkle anymore..."
Riley giggled at that last comment.
"I want to turn back time to when we started high school together- all six of us. And we all made a promise that we would always be together...no stupid hole, or Seniors, or another triangle, nothing would separate us...remember that?"
Riley nodded as she wiped away the lingering tears in her eyes. "Yeah, I do," She retorted.
"And now...I've screwed it all up," Maya mumbled bitterly.
"Maya, it's not your fault," Riley comforted her best friend. "It's not your fault that the group is separated now. Don't blame yourself for this Peaches. Please."
"That's real nice of you to say, but it's hard not to, Riles," Maya retorted matter-of-factly. "If I hadn't cut things off with Zay, none of this would be happening..." She shook her head sadly. "Dammit Zay..." She cursed under her breath in frustration. "You know what's so sad about all of this? I actually really liked him- a lot. I just didn't like him the way he wanted me to, apparently. And now everything is just f'ed up between all of us..." She shook her head sadly. "I dunno how you can fix this, Riles...I dunno if any of this can be fixed..."
"Zay screwed things up, Maya...he's the one who ended up doing really shady things against Josh that forced you to cut things off with him cos you can't trust him. I don't trust him either," Riley responded. "Yeah, Josh messed up, but Zay messed up even more...so yeah, you've gotta stop blaming yourself Peaches for the group breaking up."
"I know," Maya sighed. "But I can't help it. You and Lucas obviously don't feel the same way about this issue, and Farkle and Smackle were basically fighting on the group chat just now, and everyone has basically taken their own side on this and...it's just hard to see all of us breaking up...it's hard to see our lil 'family' falling apart...and no matter how long I stare at this stupid clock...hoping to turn back time- I know that it's impossible..." Her voice trailed off.
There was a soft knock on their door. They both glanced at each other in alarm, unsure of who would be knocking on their door at midnight.
After a few suspense-filled seconds of silence, the door slowly opened and Joshua Matthews' face was immediately revealed.
"Hello ladies," He greeted them brightly. "I was walking by towards the bathroom, minding my own biz, and then I saw your light on. Figured you two weren't sleeping? So, thought I might join in the midnight fun...Maya, are you crying?"
Crap, Maya thought, as she quickly wiped away any lingering tears from her face. She didn't want him worrying about her, or about the "drama" that was currently brewing in their group. He already had enough to worry about, especially, after the visit they had made to his father's grave earlier that day. Maya knew that he had been thinking about his father all evening, and she did her best to give him the necessary space he needed to grieve.
"I'm fine," She muttered. "Riles and I just finished watching a sad movie, that's all. We're going to bed now. Good night Josh."
Josh observed her quietly for a moment before he responded. "Ok. I don't believe anything you just said. You wanna know why? You answered way too quickly, you didn't call me Boing, and you're way too eager to get rid of me. Which means, you're not fine, you're hiding something from me, and something is definitely wrong."
"Wow. Really impressive Uncle Josh," Riley commended him.
"Thank you, Niece!" Josh beamed at her. "Being able to see through Maya Hunter's lil lies...it's a gift, you know. Not many people have it. I'm just one of the amazing few. What can I say?"
Maya rolled her eyes at him.
"Wanna talk about it?" Josh asked her softly.
"No, it's ok. Not now," Maya responded. "Thanks Josh, but it's late. We should all get some sleep, I guess."
"That's totally fine," Josh retorted. "But you're clearly not sleepy. So, why don't you come with me. I wanna take you somewhere you've been wanting to go for a long time now. You gotta get dressed though. And Riles, will you please vouch for us if anyone notices Maya gone?"
"Sure," Riley responded excitedly. "Where are you guys going Uncle Josh?"
Josh quickly shut the door and approached them. "So, one of my friends from Adams just messaged me," He informed them excitedly. "Told him I was back home. He's going to this night club/dance hall like a half hour from here tonight. It's like this Brazilian dance club. Pretty cool. I've been there before. They let teenagers in. They only check IDs if you're drinking, but we won't obviously, so we're gonna be fine. Anyway, thought you might wanna come with me, Maya. Teach me some of your awesome dance moves. Wadja think, Honey?"
Maya's mouth dropped open in shock as she stared in disbelief at her boyfriend.
Josh chuckled in amusement when he saw her facial expression. "Uh...you gonna say something?" He teased her.
"Ok, who the hell are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?! Because the Joshua Matthews I know would not be taking me to a night club right now at 12 freaking midnight at his family's home where my parents are like right here," Maya stated.
Josh and Riley both chuckled in amusement at her comment.
"What can I say? I'm an unpredictable man, Maya Hunter," Josh replied with a wide, teasing grin. "Anyway, not sure what's gotten into me tonight to be honest, but let's just say you're seeing a lil bit of my wild side. I usually try to control it."
"Oh my gosh, I love it," Maya responded. "You really should stop controlling it. Be you, Boy. This is great."
Josh chuckled. "Anyways, you coming or not? Cos, we gotta go. My friend already started heading over there."
"Hell yeah I'm coming! I'm so excited!" Maya exclaimed. "I'm not sure what to wear though."
"Nothing fancy," Josh told her. "Jeans...a nice blouse...that's it. Don't wear heels. You're gonna be dancing. Wear comfortable shoes."
Maya grinned. "Ok."
"Well then. I'll pick you up in about ten minutes. See ya, Ferret."
"See ya, Boing," Maya responded.
"And thanks for your help on this, Riles," Josh told his niece. "I would ask you to come but...we might get in trouble if they do randomly check in the middle of the night and you guys are both not here..."
Riley giggled. "It's ok, Uncle Josh. I'm feeling pretty tired actually, so I'll just go to sleep. You guys have fun though! Take lots of pictures! I'm looking forward to more 'official' updates on Instagram."
"Oh," Josh and Maya both muttered as they blushed profusely. Ever since they became "Instagram official" a few days ago, almost everyone who had seen their posts- family, friends, acquaintances- had been teasing them about it.
"Anyway, see you soon, Maya," Josh quickly changed the subject.
"Sure, see you," Maya replied with a warm smile.
"Feeling better?" Riley asked her friend as she scrambled around excitedly in search of a proper outfit to wear.
Maya sighed. "A little. I just won't think about the group...or Zay...for now."
"Yeah," Riley replied. "Me neither. Let's find you something sexy to wear Peaches!"
Maya laughed. "How about we don't give your uncle a heart attack? I walk out of here wearing something sexy, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes Matthews might freak out and decide not to take me anymore cos I'm too young or whatever bs excuse he's gonna come up with. Let's keep it simple, Honey. Trust me, I know the guy. I'll wear something sexy next time. For now, I'm just trying to get into my first nightclub."
Riley giggled. "Ok then. We'll keep it simple."