Long update! I really, really like this story, but I'm unsure of how long I should drag it out. Reviews in reference to the continuance past Yato & Hiyori's physical reunion would be appreciated. Trigger warning: sexual assault references
It was Kazuma's hand that snatched her from sleep. "Hiyori, get up. Yukine's on the phone."
"He's here," she murmured as her hand clutched the empty bedside, the absence of his body jolting her the rest of the way conscious. Hiyori turned to Kazuma, grabbing the phone from his hand and pressing it to her ear. "Where the hell are you?" It was desperation with a healthy hint of scolding and she wondered if she could ground him.
"Listen," the charge in his voice was back, definitely not a 14 year old but a man on the other end of the phone. "Get your dad to the hospital. Tell him this will have to be quiet, hidden, to make whatever arrangements he needs for that. Maybe security, too, if that's a thing. We'll meet you there."
"What?" The words hit her ears like another language.
"You'll see. Just get there, now. Not the front entrance, the loading doors in the back. I don't know how much time we have." With that, the conversation went dead in her hand.
She stared at the blank screen for a second before inputting her father's work phone, knowing that it was never on silent, never far away from him. It rang only twice before her father's bleary voice answered, "Doctor Iki."
"Daddy," Hiyori was suddenly a child again as if she had woken from a bad dream in bed. "I need you to get to the hospital. I need you to meet me there."
"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" There was the distinctive sound of shuffling, the tearing away of sheets.
"Not me." Yato, it has to be Yato, but she couldn't say it out loud because the fear still lingered that it wasn't true, that he was already a ghost. "Just, please, only you and people you trust."
"Hiyori, you're not making sense." But the sound of movement still continued in the background and she could even hear her mother's voice talking just out of reach.
"Just trust me, please," Hiyori's voice cracked as the tears started to burn her eyes.
"Alright, we'll meet you there."
Kazuma drove hectically and without consideration for Hiyori's stomach that already felt tossed. Or maybe that was simply her heart squashing downward, threatening to break apart with the reality of the situation. Yukine had said he didn't know how much time they had, so was that Yato's time? Was she just going to see him in time to have him fade away? Her nails dug into the skin of her thighs as she tried not to scream, not to dissolve into hysterics that wouldn't help anyone. She needed to stay strong, to maintain some kind of sanity.
She was out of the car almost the instant that it came to a complete stop, sprinting towards the front gates even though her breathing felt shallow and restricted. It wasn't just her father but her mother standing in the lobby, both looking ready for action as if there had been no sleeping to begin with. She wondered if that was just a talent that parents developed, instantly ready for the needs of their child. "Dad, Mom…" Her calls for them blended together just as they did, both parents taking her in their arms.
"Hiyori, tell me you're alright," her mother murmured.
"I am," she took only a second to breathe in Sayuri's scent, that placating lavender that could almost calm at a moment like this. "But we don't have time for anything else. We need to get to the loading door. Daddy, you may need a nurse or two. I don't know for sure."
Takamasa slipped his arms away from his wife and daughter, his lips firmly set. "Hiyori, who-"
"You'll see," she didn't like the begging quality in her voice. "Please, we have to go, it has to be secret."
He sighed in reply, turning to the receptionist at the desk. "Have Miyu and Saki paged to the loading doors, please." Takamasa only needed to repeat himself one more time at the strangeness of the request before moving back to Sayuri and Hiyori. "Let's go then."
Hiyori let Takamasa lead, driving her and Sayuri through the hallways and down a set of stairs. Saki, a squat, middle aged nurse with short black hair met them on the way, exchanging soft words with Takamasa as they continued. When the door was in sight, Hiyori could not stop herself from running ahead, being far from gentle with the doors as her hands slammed them apart. It was Yukine she saw first, his eyes wide with mostly white as he seemed to play the evening on repeat in his head.
His eyes softened the instant they met hers, the breath suddenly coming back to him, "Hiyori!"
"Are you hurt?" Her voice was sharp as she grasped his shoulders, trying to find the source of the blood that was sprayed across his face and shirt.
Yukine shook his head, "It's Yato."
Before Hiyori could reposition, let go of Yukine to get a better look, Veena appeared from the side of the door. "Kinuha, Kuraha, carry him inside."
"Veena?" Hiyori barely had time to utter her name before the next came to her lips. "Yato…" His head was collapsed against his chest, any skin visible doughy and white. The deep saturation of red had spread from his side down his pant leg and she realized he wasn't walking but being dragged between the man and woman, Kuraha and Kinuha.
"Oh, Christ," Takamasa muttered as Yato was dragged closer. "Saki, get a room prepped and get surgery on the phone just in case." He only wasted one glance at his daughter before disappearing back into the hospital, following the couple dragging Yato through.
Sayuri didn't bother to follow her husband, instead planting a firm hand on her daughter's shoulder as she stared between Yukine and Veena. "What's happening here?"
"Mom, please," Hiyori tried to pull off Sayuri's hand but it was useless.
Sayuri tightened her grip, taking her daughter out of Yukine's arms. "No, Yato's been missing for a month and now these two carry him in almost dead-"
"Hiyori didn't tell you her little boyfriend is a murderer?" Veena shot, a cool smile gracing her lips.
"What?" Sayuri focused on Hiyori who refused to even look her way, eyes burning towards Veena.
"Kazuma told you what he did?" Hiyori spat back.
"He told me what Yato did," Veena corrected.
"You're ridiculous," Hiyori laughed incredulously. "Don't you see it? Yato's never done anything unless he's been asked to. Unless someone else wished it."
Veena took a step towards Hiyori, her fists clenched at her side. "And that justifies murdering innocent people?"
"Innocent?" Hiyori didn't shrink back, regardless of both Yukine's and her mother's hands on her, taking a step to meet Veena in kind. "They were going to kill you and Kazuma made the decision that you mattered more. Yato did what Kazuma wanted. If you want to blame someone, it's him."
"She's right," Kazuma walked up behind Veena, watching as she turned away from the sight of him. "And might I suggest we move this conversation inside and shut the door. I could hear you from the parking lot." The voice of reason hit them all, the five of them moving from the alleyway into the supply room. Kazuma moved past them to close the door back to the hallway, leaning against it. "Veena-"
"Don't you dare even talk to me," she spat.
"Then leave," Kazuma tried to reply cooly but Hiyori watched as his throat bobbed through a hard swallow. "I told you, I did it because I love-"
She cut him off with a glare, "He murdered my people, Kazuma, and you were a part of that."
"Yato's killed people," Sayuri muttered as if she didn't have the strength to make it a question.
"Mom…" Hiyori gently put grasped at Sayuri's arms, trying to pull her focus away from the horror that was probably playing in her head. "That's not Yato, it's part of his old life, part of the life he was trying to get away from."
"And all that's done," Yukine interjected with not only his voice but his person, coming almost between mother and daughter. "I swear, it's done."
"Really?" Hiyori tried not to feel her chest tighten up, to breathe through the pain of the hope.
"I promise," Yukine murmured, his hand coming softly to her shoulder.
It was almost as if Sayuri's hand were now checking for Hiyori's wounds, wandering over the parts of her she could touch. "Has he hurt you?"
"No, Mom, never," Hiyori grabbed at her mother's hands, calming them. "I told you, that's not Yato. He's different."
Veena scoffed, "The blood on his hands doesn't just wash away."
"And why not?" Hiyori barked, her face turning red with the scream that had been building since the car. "What does it take for him to be forgiven? Stop and think, really think, Veena. The Yato you know, not the Yaboku that signed a contract with Kazuma, when has he done anything for himself? He's never done one thing that wasn't for someone else, not the whole time I've known him."
"And that absolves him?" Veena hissed through clenched teeth.
"It does!" Hiyori finally let her words bellow. "And if you still think otherwise, even after Kazuma admitted to it, then maybe it's you who really needs to change. Something tells me your hands aren't entirely clean either." Veena gritted her teeth before letting out a frustrated cry, turning and banging out of the loading door. Kazuma started but stopped, his hand just catching the door on its turn back on the hinge. Hiyori moved towards him and pushed him forward, "Go after her."
"Why should I?" He whispered bitterly.
"Just go, Kazuma." She bumped him again, this time thankful that his feet moved forward, pulling the door shut behind him. Hiyori turned slowly, her back pressing into the cold metal of the door. "Yukine…"
"Yeah, Hiyori?" The ragged exhaustion of the night was catching up with him and he found himself mimicking her, leaning into the closest wall.
"Tell me everything you did tonight," it was soft, quiet, but a firm order.
His eyes darted toward Sayuri, "Maybe later, maybe we should check on Yato…"
Hiyori shook her head firmly. "If Dad can save him… I'm sure it'll take some time. I need to know, we all need to know now."
Yukine let his knees buckle, sending him to the floor with a hard thud. He ran both hands through his hair, feeling the tug on each follicle before repeating the action as if to massage the information out. After countless unsteady breaths, he gave in, spilling each detail that was so vividly etched into his memory.
It's the brown hair, he thought and it felt delirious, but who could blame him after what he'd been through. Yato wasn't even technically sure what that was, just that he was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling from a futon. It was too traditional looking for Hiyori's house or the apartment, and he knew every ceiling at Kofuku's like the back of his hand. But he was sure that the woman sitting there was Sakura, definitely, then maybe Hiyori, but finally he blinked her into the right existence and his whole body tensed. "Sayuri?"
"You're awake." She put down her book and crawled a few steps closer, enough that if he had the audacity he could reach out and touch her. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," he murmured. He did reach out a hand but it wasn't for her, instead running along the edge of the bandage at his side, feeling the old thump of pain as he breathed in too deeply.
"Can I get you something?"
The concern in her voice made it worse, the aching pain in his chest meeting the one below his ribs. "I'm sure you've done enough already. Where am I?"
Sayuri leaned back, her hands resting on the matted floor to keep her up. "This was my mother's house. We kept it after she passed away as a vacation house for the vacations we never take."
Yato couldn't help but snort a little laugh before the ache set in again. "Is she… is she here?"
"No," Sayuri shook her head.
"Oh," it was all he could do to stop it from becoming a wail. His hand fell limply to the sheet until his fingers dug into the futon. "I guess that's better. You… You know by now, right? What I am? And she's… Hiyori, all of you, you're better than that and I'm just-"
Sayuri cut him off with a sigh, "She's at school. Finals, right before graduation, not exactly something you can miss even in these circumstances." She watched the way his eyes filled to the brim with tears even with her explanation. It had begun when Yukine had told the story, but Sayuri was slowly filling in the blanks about Yato, seeing that desperate want clouded by the intense dislike for himself. "She'll be here this weekend to see you. Though she said to have you call her as soon as you were awake."
"You should tell her to stay away from me," he murmured as the tears finally broke from his lids.
"Because you're a murderer?" The sentence seemed to roll right off her tongue as if polite conversation but it struck Yato right in the gut, stealing the air from his lips. "From what Hiyori says, and Yukine as well, that was the old you." Sayuri took one of the cooling clothes from his bedside and dabbed at Yato's face, watching as his surprised eyes came back to her.
Yato hesitated but finally grabbed her hand, stopping the soothing motion of her cleaning away his tears. "There's always a chance it's never over."
"That's why we decided the three of you would stay here," Sayuri smiled. "It's far enough away from the city, too far from the characters you used to roam with."
His throat bobbed through a painful swallow, "What if it's not them? What if it's me? What if that's all I'm good for?"
Sayuri studied him for a moment as she took her hand away from his before turning her attention to rewetting and wringing out the cloth. "Yato," she sighed the exasperated breath of a mother with a lying child, "Do you really think that? You think you can tell me after the months of being with my daughter that at the root of it all you're just a killer? I believe her when she says you've never hurt her."
"Of course not," the words hissed from his teeth. Yato rolled his head to the side, half an attempt to keep her from caressing him again but also to hide the tears that wouldn't listen to reason. "But…" He didn't know how to put into words the way it felt to be so truly disconnected, so untethered. He had thought that being without his father, not just out of his power but without him in the same world, meant that he would actually disappear and a part of him might have. That murderer, that boy covered in layers of blood, could have very well just died in that room. The person laying here now, this Yato, could be something entirely different and that in its own right scared him shitless.
Sayuri wiped his cheek one more time for good measure, getting the leftover tears. "You can think about it, but in the meantime, Yukine made me promise I'd get him. He was hovering in here-"
"Can I come in already?" Yukine's voice snapped through the paper of the shoji.
Yato fell into a half confused smirk as he watched Sayuri roll her eyes. "Hovering," she repeated.
The shoji barely stayed on its hinges as Yukine slid the door open. "And what the hell do you mean 'You should tell her to stay away from me'?"
"You shouldn't eavesdrop!" Yato spat out as lively as he could, starting to push himself up on his elbows.
"You're an idiot," Yukine hissed. Sayuri yanked him just as he got close enough to the futon, trying to keep him from a scuffle. "Hiyori's the best thing that ever happened to you and if she wants to follow your sorry ass after this you should be kissing the ground she walks on!"
"I'm trying to protect her," he barked back. The position was making his side hurt so he attempted to get all the way up to sitting, faltering only for a moment.
"For two boys who aren't actually brothers you sure fight like them," Sayuri muttered as she let go of Yukine to help Yato the rest of the way up.
"Don't call his asshole my brother!" Yukine took another deep breath as if to ready himself for another yell before blowing the air through his lips. "He's more like a dad anyway. He doesn't understand how the world works, he's creepily sweaty all the time, and he smells like-"
"A dad?" Yato took a second to grin, reaching a hand out and grabbing at Yukine's sleeve.
"That's the part you heard out of all of that?" Yukine frowned but let himself be pulled, releasing a huff of air as Yato tried his best to get his arms around the boy.
"You OK?" Yato whispered.
"Physically, yeah, but the other shit…" Yukine let a shudder of breath escape his lips, trying to push back the burning in his eyes. "Yato, you really are an idiot."
"I know," he murmured with a pat to Yukine's back. "Thanks for saving me."
"Call it even," Yukine muttered with a sniffle, his free hand coming up to wipe away the tears as if no one else could see. "But I…" There was a pause only filled with the sound of their breaths. Yukine pulled away from Yato, sitting back on his heels. "Sayuri, could I… would you mind?"
Sayuri had already started gathering her things halfway through the sentence, giving a short little nod in reply. As she stood, she let her hand drift across his shoulders, finishing with a squeeze before exiting the room, sliding the door shut behind her.
"If it's about Fujisaki…" Yato reached out for him again but Yukine turned his body, making sure to keep himself out of reach.
"No, Sayuri knows about that, her and Hiyori." Yukine focused on the floor as he dug a finger into the mat, trying to focus on the texture as if it would allow him to forget what he was about to say. "That… what happened that night made me remember things. Things before the trunk."
"Oh," it was a small, fearful warble from Yato's mouth.
"I thought I'd never know that stuff again but it's in my head, Yato." The air seemed to choke from his mouth and he turned both hands into fists, rubbing them into the floor. "The blood, all the blood, the way it felt warm and syrupy on my hands and-"
Regardless of the shot of pain Yato got to kneeling, his hands coming to Yukine's shoulders. "You're safe, Yukine. I promised you that and I'll promise you again right now. He's not coming back for you. Not now, not ever."
Yukine's fist moved to clench at Yato's hand on his shoulder, his nails digging uncomfortably into the skin. "I killed someone."
"You had to, Fujisaki would have-"
"No," Yukine groaned. "Before the trunk, I killed someone."
Yato's eyebrows furrowed, the words nothing more than insanity in his ears. How could a boy, thirteen, maybe fourteen, do that? This gentle little boy that wouldn't admit it for a second but cried at the insipid romance movies that Hiyori "forced" him to watch. But how did I do that then? What's so different about the two of us? Afterall, Yukine had known were to sink that knife. "Is that what you remember?"
Yukine nodded as he forced a hand through his hair. "It was one of my Dad's clients."
Yato wanted to stop him for both of their sakes since, after the incident with the trunk, he'd done some digging, had found out what kind of clients those were and what kind of man Yukine's father was. All this time he'd tried not to piece the puzzle back together, but Yukine was doing it all on his own and it terrified him. "Yukine…"
"Dad had a lot of girls that he sold out," Yukine's voice cracked as the tears left small dark circles on his pant legs. "But this client, he didn't like them. He liked… boys and I was... I was the only thing Dad had and..." To Yato's surprise, it wasn't a whimper or a sick sigh but a raw, raging groan. "I couldn't let him get away with that. I couldn't."
"You had to," Yato murmured.
"It's not the same thing," Yukine lips trembled, mumbling the words. "I killed someone. I've killed more than just one someone and the blood…"
"Yukine, snap out of it." Yato shook Yukine's shoulders, watching as the younger boy's eyes went wide, his breath hitching. "Knowing your past, really looking at it, it can kill you, destroy you, consume you. You can't let it. You're stronger than that."
"I'm not," he wailed.
"Of course you are," Yato shot back. "You saved me, and not just some half-assed attempt. It was you, all you in that room. We both know I'd be dead if you hadn't come in when you did."
Yukine took a shaking breath, "But I'm-"
"Don't, don't you dare," Yato cut him off with another shake. "You're my kid, OK? That's all you are, no matter what. You're my amazing little brat of a kid and you're perfect."
There were no longer words that Yukine could use, all of it dissolving into sobs. Yato took the opportunity to wrap his arms around him, feeling only a little initial resistance until Yukine gave in. It only took a few minutes of the sobbing before Sayuri came in, quiet and watchful as Yato cradled the blond boy to his chest. It took time, Sayuri and Yato remaining motionless as Yukine trembled through the tears. As they began to die down, so did Yukine's alertness. "Lay down," Yato murmured, letting go and prodding Yukine towards the futon he'd vacated.
"I bet it's all sweaty," he muttered but nonetheless followed directions, sprawling out in the space that Yato had just occupied.
Yato flicked his ear, getting a slap on the hand as his reward. "Just don't drool on my pillow."
"Only you drool." Yukine's eyes were mostly shut now, barely fighting the sleep that was finally coming to him.
"I don't think he's slept since the hospital." Sayuri's voice surprised Yato since he had almost forgotten she was even there, so involved with what he was going to do to patch up Yukine's obviously shattered self.
"Can you blame him?" Yato did what he would only dare to do in Yukine's exhausted state and began to stroke the younger boy's hair. "It's a lot for a kid his age."
"Speaking from experience." Sayuri knelt down close to him, watching as his hand continued to brush away the blond hair. "He's lucky to have you."
Yato sucked his teeth, "Yeah, about as lucky as a hole in the head. I put him in danger, I brought all this old stuff to the surface and now…"
"Now you'll both have the time and space to heal." Sayuri put a soft hand on his shoulder, momentarily stopping Yato's soothing hand. "Just you, him, and Hiyori."
An unsure breath trembled across his lips. "Hiyori shouldn't… she can't…"
Sayuri put up her hands in defeat comically before letting them fall to her lap. "If you haven't learned by now that Hiyori does as she wants then maybe I was wrong about you." One of her hands fell to her side, reaching into her pocket and fishing out her phone before holding it out to him. "Here, she's probably home from school by now."
His eyes trailed over the phone as if it were alien to him, his hand only reaching out hesitantly before closing around it.
"If you'd like I'll walk you out the storm shutters there that lead out to the veranda." Sayuri motioned across the room to the far wall.
"Stay with him," Yato murmured before shakily getting to his feet. It hurt, not just the twinge in his side but the ache of every muscle recovering from the stiffness of the immobility. It was slow, almost a shuffle as he dragged himself over to the shutter, sliding it slowly opened and then closed behind him. The engawa was surprisingly wide, enough to lounge on if he had some cushions and the air was still brisk, making his skin erupt in goosebumps at the first breeze. He sat at the edge, dangling his feet over the pebbled walk below before staring at the phone in his hand.
If he just tapped on her number he wouldn't have time to overthink it, and there wasn't a Yukine around to send that icebreaker first text again so he forced himself to press his thumb into the screen. It felt like there was barely even one ring before her phone was erupting from the phone, "Mom? It's been all day and I haven't heard a thing! Did something happen?"
He could hear the frustration, the hint of anger, but it didn't matter. It'd been an entire month since he'd heard that voice and the instant it hit him, regardless of the tone, he felt whole again. All of the terror, insecurity, horror was brushed away. He had no control over his tongue and the words just tumbled out, "I love you."
All he got in return was a sharp intake of breath, a half-caught sob. She had tried to angle the phone away, hide the sound, but he could hear her unsteady sigh. "This isn't some dead-bed thing, right? You're OK?"
"I'll be fine when I can touch you again," he murmured.
"Yato…" she sighed sweetly, ending with a little hiccup of a sob.
"I'm sorry, so sorry, Hiyori," now he was choking, too, the tears starting down his cheeks.
"You should be," she shot back, "but you can make up for that later." Hiyori cleared her throat and the phone shuffled against his ear again as she cleared her face. "How's Yukine?"
Yato sighed, "Getting there. Maybe. I wish I could just pick the memories out of his mind."
"That's not how it works," Hiyori murmured before sighing again. "Yato, tell me not to leave right now and come there."
He couldn't stop a weak laugh from escaping his mouth. "Don't do that. You have to graduate, no excuses, not even for me." That little selfish part of him wriggled to life, begging him to take it back, to demand her to come and be with him. He turned a deaf ear to it and smiled softly. "You'll be here this weekend. We'll… we'll figure it out then."
There was a huff of air, not a sigh but a quick breath as if she were cutting off the first thing she wanted to say in reply. "Figure what out?"
Her tone made him feel tossed on a sea and all he could do was clutch the wood he was sitting on, nails biting into the grain. "Just… you still have some deciding to do, don't you? School or work…" And me. You have to decide that I'm… There were a million negative adjectives to list here, the feelings from Sayuri's conversation with him suddenly flooding back. A small piece of him had to admit it, though, that there was this deep, uncontrollable want for it to all be over, to put it all aside and pretend like that old life never existed.
But while Yukine may have promised it was over, Yato knew better: Nora was alive. The question now was how deadly could she be without someone to wield her?
Sayuri had gone a day or two later. Yato found that he really had no solid concept of time since all of his was split between exercise and thinking. The physical activity was forced on him by Yukine, his only other company in the house and the resident mother hen since the real mother had gone. His greatest hope was to languish in bed and wait for Hiyori, but Yukine trounced that every chance he got. Not that Yukine seemed to be in the best mood either, quieter and slower to snap back at Yato in his usual teenage way.
Yukine's only real option was to walk Yato around town, figuring out the layout of what could be their new home. It was a seaside town, with the beach just a moderate walk from the house. It was mostly quiet now, too, since March wasn't exactly conducive to sunbathing and swimming. Probably due to the season, the town itself seemed half dead, with only a few people to nod at along the way, most examining the boys with a mixture of intrigue and suspicion, though those looks were nothing new to them.
"I think this is the school," Yukine nodded to a long, squat building that was fenced in by a high cement wall. "That or a prison."
"Maybe a little bit of both," Yato got half of a laugh out of both of them. He paused, taking a deep breath as his eyes searched the length of the building. "I want to sign you up."
"For prison?" Yukine jested weakly, punctuating it with a sigh rather than a laugh. "Why?"
"Because you're smart," Yato grasped at his shoulder and Yukine let him. "And you definitely need the socialization since all you'll have is me."
"And Hiyori," Yukine corrected quickly, narrowing his eyes at Yato.
"And Hiyori," Yato echoed unsteadily. "And Sayuri suggested-" He cleared his throat to try to knock out the sensation that it was closing on him while giving Yukine's shoulder a squeeze. "There's a doctor in town, apparently an old family friend and I think you should talk to him."
"Like a shrink?" Yato was surprised by Yukine's tone, not spitting acid but just tired.
"Yeah, a therapist." He took his hand back and shrugged, letting a long breath escape his nose. "Because I have to do better for you, Yukine."
"What's me going to a therapist have to do with you?" He frowned, taking the few extra steps to catch up with Yato as he suddenly started the walk again, leaving the school behind him.
"Because I meant it when I said you were my kid," Yato couldn't stop himself from snapping back desperately. "The shit you've been through and that I've put you through, it's not fair and I've just been letting it go because life was complicated." He threw up his hands in the face of Yukine's silence, the lack of a rebuttal just making him feel worse. "But it's not going to be like that anymore. I'm going to take care of you like I should have from the beginning."
Yukine sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets, eyes focused on the ground as Yato waited impatiently for the 'fuck off' that he was accustomed to. The time was ticking and Yato felt as if he were about to burst with another stream of self-deprecating comments when Yukine finally muttered, "I'm not going to call you dad."
Yato let out a trembling laugh, "No, of course not."
"And the therapist… it's safe to talk about everything?" Yato watched Yukine try to shrug off the thought of that everything, the dirty mess that congregated in his mind.
"Sayuri vouched for him, so yes." Feeling the shame wash over him, Yato pushed himself a little quicker, just having Yukine in his periphery. "You just, you need it, OK? I'm not going to let you turn out like-"
Yato forced himself to stop, leaving the thought in the air for Yukine to finish. "Like you?"
He blamed the nausea on the activity, too much too fast but he kept pushing himself forward. He's right, isn't he? You don't want him to be pent-up, constantly worried about the next shit that's coming for him. He should be safe. He should be loved.
Yukine interrupted his thoughts by grabbing the back of his shirt, forcing him to a halt. "I'll go if you go."
Yato turned quickly on his heels, his eyebrows raising skeptically. "What?"
"Don't 'what' me. I'll go if you go." There wasn't an ounce of meekness in his voice, that little mother hen back to bite Yato in the ass. "Deal?"
No! His gut was trying to react for him, to almost slap Yukine's hand away as if that broke the statement. "Look, Yukine-"
"It's a yes or no, not an explanation or talking your way out of it," Yukine tugged again to punctuate his point. "Yes or no?"
Yato sighed, throwing up his hands in defeat. "Fine, yes."
"Good." Yukine released him and started the walk again, this time trailing a little in front. "Because you have to get over this bullshit with Hiyori."
"Ugh, relationship advice from the teenager," Yato muttered.
Yukine moved past the statement with a roll of his eyes. "It is bullshit, Yato. You're definitely not perfect so I get the hesitation but every time we talk about Hiyori now it's like she's the past, not like she should be here in a day."
The fact that it was only a day away, seeing her, touching her, telling her how utterly terrified he was of the life he could have now if he was brave enough twisted up his gut. "I know."
"I swear if you break up with her-" He growled protectively.
"I'm not," Yato groaned. "I don't… I'm just scared. I'm fucking terrified."
"She loves you, Yato, it's not like she-"
"It's not that!" He spun on his heels and even with the knowledge that he was in the street he couldn't stop his voice from rising. "It's not just her, it's you, it's everything. I was one thing, Yukine. Chaos. That's it. I was death and destruction and calamity but now I'm what? Responsible for people's happiness. That petrifies me because it's easier to ruin things than make them right."
"Yato…" Yukine blinked, his eyes went wide as he processed Yato yelling and then slowly the words. "That's not all you were."
"It is," he urged back. "And what if I end up being terrible at happiness?"
Yukine couldn't stop himself from laughing back in the older boy's face, causing a distinctive frown of annoyance to crinkle his face. "You've gotten it right for the past year at least."
"What?" The frown intensified, Yato's eyes searching Yukine's face.
"Up until the stuff with your dad, we were all happy," Yukine shrugged. "You, me, Hiyori, maybe even Kazuma and Kofuku and Daikoku - we were all separate before you but we're a family now. You did that. And that was before, even when you still had the death and destruction down pat. Maybe it's just… it'll be slow, and you'll make mistakes like running off like an idiot to kill your dad but it'll happen. Each day you'll become less of that mess and more of that Patron Saint of Odd Jobs."
"God, I told you," he muttered through processing the amazement at the reality of it.
"Maybe I'll upgrade to God if you ever get a real job," Yukine laughed.
Yato's eyes darted around, seeing a couple faces at windows, one of two heads popping around corners in yards and shrugged. "Fine. Let's go home." They'd put on quite a show in the street and Yato was sure that half the neighbor would at least know of them by now. What a fine introduction.