Day 17

Everything the other feels

It wasn't Dustin fault. He didn't choose to have a soulmate with such a dreadful life and couldn't do anything against the bruises, bleeding nose, sudden panic attacks or the tattoo on his forearm representative off a zero and two ones that appeared when he was five. He didn't ask for the nightmares, monsters with giant mouth as large as their head, morbid visions of emaciated bodies or with head turned in the wrong side. He couldn't appreciate to learn new languages too fast because he didn't exactly understand them or being the first to know how to swim because he developped aquaphobia or well more of every liqui surfaces on what he could enter, no matter how profund it was. He didn't ask for his father to left them and her mother to lose taste to things to concentrate only on her son and cats.

Dustin never had friends before Hawkins. He arrived there when he was ten and he was desesperate to find someone who would appreciate him despise his panic attacks and all the other problems one day.

One afternoon at the end of autumn, he had a brutal panic attack during mathematics class. His nose was bleeding profusely and he couldn't see anything at all, like everytime it happened. He started to screaming in terror and fell off his chair, rolling into a ball and being incapable of say anything, having no idea who to call for help. He heard others kids screaming around him, terrified, and panicked more because he had no idea about what to do calm down and for the crisis to stop. He felt then a first hand stepping on his back, different from the unpleasant pain on his arms. This feeling took him away from his panic until he head a voice of a child on his age murmur to him a following of words that made no sens but finished to deconcentrate sufficiently so he didn't feel panic anymore, understanding then that his own panic appease his soulmate too. It was the first time Mike talked to him, achieving to calm him by saying unlogical words on purpose. Not so much after thtat, they became friend and he also became friend with Will and Lucas.

Having friends was different that every things he ever knews. Less people made fun of him or had pity on him, wich was fine. Part by part, he learned how to communicate with his soulmate, relaxing them during crisis or when they were sad. He also learned to not live only on their feelings but on his and even share what he felt with them. He couldn't get away of all the bad parts but he could finally handle it

-o-o-o-

Dustin, Lucas and Mike watch closely the bald-headed girl, Eleven, who had try to get naked in front of them. He didn't know how to explain it but he could feel all the sadness and fear of the young girl – wich shouldn't be the case because his soulmate was supposed to be traumatized enough to be a grown up. It was weird and he had no idea what it meant. When they separate to turn back home, Dustin spent all the night awake, thinking of Eleven and what was possibly happening.

The next afternoon, after they day class, they turned back to Mike's house and found him in his room with the girl, trying to keep her busy. Mike and Lucas started to fight to know what was the best thing to do between warn Mike's mother or not and when Lucas started to open the door, it closed roughly and without any reason. Dustin felt blood leaking from his own nose before seeing the same thing happening to Eleven. He wipped his nose quickly, himself in choc by what Eleven just did and not understanding the obvious.

-o-o-o-

El screamed with rage pushing the Demogorgon back against the wall of the class room and Dustin fell immediately on the ground, paralyzed by the pain. He had no idea how El could handle it but he was in too much pain and had to bite his cheek until he bleed to not scream with pain. He felt blood leaking more and more from his nose and ears and when he rose labouriously his eyes, he could see El keeping pushing the Demogorgon against the wall, and grey and white particules dispersed in all the room while the light were flashing in an epilectif way... and nothin. No more pain, rage, strange fears, nothing. The Demogorgon had disappear. El too.

Lucas went to help him to get up while Mike called for El but Dustin understood immediately that El was gone and began to cry.

-o-o-o-

Dustin thanked Nancy for the dance and went back to sit on the platform of the gymnasium, acting like he was resting while he was a little sad. It wasn't that dancing with Nancy hadn't be a good thing, it was far from that, he could only appreciate it, but he has the feeling that he was a loser. He spent all the afternoon to be classy and inviting any girl to dance with him, but they all refused so, yeah, Nancy dancing with him was just pity because he was all alone. He hated this feeling of failure.

His first reflexe was to step away when to people sat next to him but then he recognized Mike and El. He noticed that his friend seemed strangely sad and worried.

"What's happening?

-I don't know. Everything was great and then she started feeling wrong.

-Did you stepped on her feet?

-No! I think it's her soulmate because she really was having fun and suddenly, she felt bad feelings that weren't hers. Can you believe no one ever told her what a soulmate was?

-Really?"

He looked at her with worry while she still seemed bad.

"Yes! And it's apparently the first time she felt something that not her so strong.

-Oh." He got closer again and put his hand on El's arm to recomfort her. Mike put on his knees in front of her to do the same.

"I don't know what to do. It was easier when it was you, I had a concrete idea about what was happening to you but there... And I don't know, it really is the first time she feels that way like that.

-If her soulmate is like me, it's logical."

Mike and El faced him so suddenly he blushed and stuttered for a moment before knowing what to say.

"I... You know how my soulmate is so brutal in all they feel so I always try to not force her with my own feelings while they – he or she, I don't know – feels all of them so strongly. So maybe El's soulmate couldn't hold tall their sadness or whatever they feel back

-You hold yourself back everytime?" El asked with a tiny voice, her eyes brights with tears and Dustin felt the same.

-I have to. You have no idea what is it to have panic attack when everything was okay a second ago and not being able to do anything because it doesn't depend on ou.

-Of cours I do, I had panic attack before and never knew how to handle it, just waited until it ended."

And Dustin could understand that because he never went threw his crisis alone, he always needed someone else.

The three of them waited where they were for a moment to feel better before El and Mike went back to dance and Dustin couldn't explain why Mike had kept an eye on him for so long, watching him in a way he couldn't understand.

-o-o-o-

Mike had called Dustin to get help to find a place where to put his things so his little sister wouldn't touch them and he went immediately, a little surprised than no one else came. After a good hour of work, they took a break on the Wheeler's kitchen to have cookies and drink.

"I think I know who's El soulmate."

Dustin faced Mike while still drinking slowly his drink, intrigued. He found really impressive the fact that Mike had found the soulmate of someone else, even El. It was pretty rare thant soulmates themselves didn't discover it by themselves, because of the fact that they almost, if it wasn't always, felt everything the same way. He put down his drink to answer.

"Really?

-Yes. And I'm positive about it. It took me a while to admit it but I known it for a long time. And Lucas knows too. And Max. And Will. And-...

-Wait, who doesn't?

-You. I can litteraly say that everyone knows. Even Steve and he is an idiot.

-Don't you dare insulting him.

-I dare because he is an idiot. Wich doesn't mean I don't appreciate him."

Dustin grumbled because he didn't appreciate that, but let it go for this time, his curiosity being stronger.

"So, who do you all think is her soulmate?"

Mike face him with a serious face that confuse him. He frowned, a little worried.

"You.

-What?"

Dustin frowned more and lost himself in his words, searching some excuse to justify that he wasn't El soulmate but Mike stop him, raising his hand in front of him.

"Don't, I know it's you. We all know. You think the same things at the same time, have nose bleed at the same time, cry at the same time... It's just obvious."

Dustin had no idea what to answer when he understood the obvious and stayed mouth opened for a moment before blushing strongly.

"But...

-Stop, even El knows. Why do you think we're not together anymore.

-You-... What? You're separated? But you love her!

-Yes.

-Did you left her because of me?"

He was horrified and tried to concentrate to not make it too strong, vainely. He couldn't think about what Mike was telling him. Mike shook his head.

"I didn't. She's the one who dumped my ass.

-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I-...

-Do not! I understand.

-But... No. You... You...

-Dustin, take a minute to think, I don't want you to panic."

His words strangled themselves in his throat. Mike put his drink under his view until he drank it, taking to time to think about it. He put down the glass when it was empty.

"I don't want the two of you to separate because of me.

-It's not your fault.

-Yes it is. It's clearly because I'm an obstacle by being El's soulmate.

-No, you're not an obstacle.

-But...

-El dumped me because she needs time to understant what a soulmate is, Dustin, not because you're hers. Well, I do know you like her.

-No!

-Dustin. I know it. You're like that, you're an easy heart. You fell easily in love and I found it weird that it wasn't the case for El so I kept an eye on you and I know you love her. You just refuse to admit it because you know I love her too. You're not the one between her and I, I'm the one between the two of you."

Dustin had no idea what to answer but he knews his face was completely red. Mike finished his own drink and pat friendly his shoulder.

"You should mayber explain to El what is a soulmate. After all, you took time to get it on your own. You could think about it together and, who knows, get closer. You deserves it." Dustin was going to find an excuse or something to be sure about Mike state be he stopped him again with a reassuring smile. "You're coming? We didn't finish to clean my room."