Ch 21 – Dreams

Carson kissed his wife fully and deeply, barely allowing her a breath in edgewise as he pursued her, his hands tugging on her hair as she dug her nails into his broad shoulders. Elsie tilted her head, deepening the kiss further, brushing her tongue along his. Carson was in heaven or at least as close as he could come in this life. For years he could've only dreamed of moments like this with his Elise, and even now that he had them he found himself in utter extascy just at the thought of being with her. Elsie moaned as he pulled away, his lips making the slow journey down her neck.

"Oh Charlie…" She whispered.

After months of anticipation, of wondering and worrying what would become of them in this way, Carson and Elsie found that their marriage was very full indeed. Elsie thought her husband would slide further below the covers as he kissed her. But instead, he grabbed her by the waist and held her tight, causing her to shriek in pleasant surprise when he pulled their quilt over them both.

Elsie giggled aloud as Carson's joyful chuckles filled the room. He smiled down at her deeply, pure bliss displayed across his eyes and all over his face. She reached up, cupping his cheeks in her hands and clutching him as she started to kiss him once more. Like before he became deeply engrossed in the kiss, sinking back further into his wife as he ran his fingers gently up her sides.

"Ahhhhwaaaaaaaa!"

The couple broke apart, startled when they heard their baby son begin to scream.

"I'll get him, it's a wet cry." Carson said, starting to get out of bed.

"No it's not, it's a hungry cry." Elsie got up and started to put her robe on. Carson sighed and did the same, following his wife into the nursery.

"Oh … oh look at him, m'wee lad what's all the fuss about?" Elsie asked.

She leaned down into the cot, picking up her screaming little boy and placing him on her shoulder. Brett fussed loudly, almost hyperventilating as his eyes darted back and forth.

"Shuuuu…shuuu… my wee baby boy. Shuuuu." Elsie rocked Brett, getting him to quiet down a bit finally.

"We've a big day tomorrow m'lad, what are you doing up?" Carson asked, rubbing his son's cheek gently.

Brett blinked as he looked back at his father, his eyes wide.

"Shuuuuuu." Elsie kissed his cheek. "I think our wee lad might be scared."

"Scared of what?"

Brett whimpered, laying his forehead in the crook of his mother's neck.

"I think he's had a nightmare Charlie."

"What would the lad have to be afraid of?"

She sighed. "The shadows in the room, something he saw today… I'm unsure. Brett's learning a lot every day."

"Our poor little fellow." Carson soothed. "Mummy and daddy are here now."

Brett whimpered, blinking as he received a kiss from both of his parents at the same time.

"Come on m'lad." Elsie soothed. "How about you come with mummy and daddy, and have a cuddle?"

….

"Shuuu, shuuu m'lad let's go back to sleep." Elsie whispered sweetly as her husband turned off their bedroom light.

Elsie kissed her baby's cheek, placing her palm on his belly and chest, trying to soothe him. Bretton whimpered once the light went out, his eyes darting back and forth in fear. Carson climbed back into bed next to his wife and son, and kissed the baby's cheek.

Carson and Elsie didn't know it, but Brett was very scared. He'd just had his first nightmare and was confused, not understanding what had happened, or which reality was real: the one where he was safe with mummy and daddy, or the one in his dream. He blinked, fussing.

"It's alright sweetheart, mummy and daddy are here." Elsie whispered.

Elsie said nothing but started to nurse the baby as Carson moved in close. Brett blinked in fear, but couldn't help but start to fall asleep, very quickly, clinging to one of his mother's fingers. Carson smiled, looking over his little family and leaning down to kiss his wife.

"I'm sorry he interrupted – "

"No." Carson chuckled. "It's all in being a mum and dad… I just worry."

"Oh?"

"What could the lad be afraid of?" He asked sadly, massaging the baby's scalp ever so softly.

Carson knew the world was a savage, scary place and that he, in his privileged capacity as Downton's imposing butler, had been far more sheltered than most people. He worried and wondered what the world would have in store for his own little boy, daring to hope it could be something far better than he could ever dream of… but fearing it would be something he could not protect him from.

Elsie sighed, "Learning to handle fear is just a part of growing up Charlie. That's what we're here for, we shall help him find his way." She promised, reaching out to squeeze his shaking hand, steadying it.

Carson smiled deep, kissing his wife's forehead, feeling greatly comforted by her wisdom. "Thank you, my Elsie." He whispered.

"Now. Does daddy want to tell us where we're going tomorrow?"

Carson smiled deep, pride in his voice. "Why yes, tomorrow is Bretton's first visit to our cottage."

…

"Oooohhh." Baby Brett marveled.

The Carsons had made a day of it, taking an early autumn picnic not far from the property he'd purchased as a retirement scheme. Brett leaned against his mother's middle, blinking and babbling as he looked up at the sky all around him. Elsie giggled, watching as her son took in the world all around him with a great sense of wonder.

Carson smiled deep, pride swelling within his heart. He was overwhelmed by how his life had changed, having never thought any of this possible for him: his land, his wife, his son …. What a beautiful, blessed thing. Elsie smiled bright, the radiance in her gaze making her husband's heart flutter.

Brett gasped, hiccupping as a bird flew overhead. He reached up to grab it, babbling a mile a minute. 'Mummy, hey mummy look at that!' He found himself wanting to cry as he pointed.

"Yes m'love, isn't that a pretty bird?" She whispered.

"You're like a dream." Carson marveled.

Elsie blushed. "Mr. Carson?"

"You are. My dream of a wife, and my dream of a son."

"You hear that m'lad, we're your daddy's dream!"

She laughed, surprising her husband and son when she laid back on the blanket, lifting the baby high in the air. Brett squealed, giggling loud as his mother brought him down, brushing his bitty nose with hers and blowing a kiss.

Carson stared, aghast as his wife lie down, partially in the grass. She giggled, baby talking to their son as she held him, lifting him high and then bringing him back down again, his nose against hers.

"The grass Mrs. Hughes?!" He raised an eyebrow.

"I used to do this every day as a girl. It's quite fun. You should join us daddy."

"I… Alright." He hesitated, uncomfortable with the idea.

Playing the occasional game of cricket was one thing, enjoying a picnic another … but to lay on the grass? He didn't think he'd lay on the grass until he was six feet under it. Carson groaned, scooting closer to his wife and laying down next to her.

"See. Now we're all here together." Elsie bounced her baby cheerfully.

Brett giggled, chewing on his hands as he laughed, his little chuckle emminating from deep inside his tiny belly. He was happy. The little boy smiled with his eyes.

"There he is! You love your daddy so much, don't you lad?" Elsie teased. "And you've got his laugh, don't you?"

"Well I am his da…"

"Oh Charlie, I've known he's had a very special love for daddy ever since he was in my belly. Don't you darling?"

"Even then?" Carson gulped uncomfortably, thinking of his former rejection.

"Look at his feet Mr. Carson." She said, pointing out their son kicked happily at the sound of his father's voice. "He's always done that when you were about."

Carson smiled sadly, humbled at the thought. He reached up and started tickling the baby's belly. Brett giggled so hard he practically shoved his fists in his mouth. "Come here you little…" He teased, the baby shrieked with laughter as his father took him in his arms, holding him up higher than his mother had been able.

Elsie beamed, cuddling against her husband as he brought the boy down, kissing his forehead and then laying him on his chest.

…

Charlie and Elsie enjoyed their time on their own land so much that they let afternoon give away to evening and remained there, staring up at the sky as the crickets came out to chirp, and the stars started to sparkle. Elsie sighed deep inside, beyond happy with the opportunity to stargaze with her love and babe.

She leaned down, kissing the top of her son's head as he rested on her husband's massive chest.

"Did you… did you really mean what you said?" Carson asked.

"Hmm?" She sighed, hugging his arm.

"When you gave birth. You said you'd always thought I should have a son."

"Oh yes." She sighed, as if wholly satisfied. "Yes, I have." She smiled flirtatiously. "You're such a strong, kind, moral man. It seemed a waste to not pass down your name, and your blood. And your laugh and your heart."

"Oh Elsie." His gaze softened so much she thought he'd cry. "That's, so incredibly sweet."

She blushed, kissing his cheek. "I never thought I could be that wee lad's mother… I suppose, perhaps I dreamed it."

Carson smiled with all his heart, kissing his wife's nose. "I remember when I first saw him." He gently massaged the boys' cheek.

Elsie blushed, still embarrassed that her husband had delivered the child. She'd never wanted to do anything that would make her appear a fool in his eyes, and in hindsight, was pretty sure giving birth with him having a hands-on role in the entire ordeal was not a way to secure that.

"Oh Charlie if this is about his birth –"

"No." He said quickly. "I first saw him in your eyes. The first time I saw you."

"Oh Charlie." She bit her lip.

Carson wasn't exaggerating, for it was Elsie's eyes he'd first seen love gone another way.

"They were the only eyes I've ever seen." He kissed her nose. "That were worth going another way for."

"You were my dream too Charlie." She confessed, kissing him softly. He smiled, breaking their lip lock.

"Well." Carson considered. "Now that our hearts desires have been fulfilled. What dreams do we have for you m'lad?"

Carson had been thinking of this a lot lately: what he wanted his son's life to be like. "I say opportunity." Carson voted.

"Hmmmm." Elsie considered, watching her little boy's eyes lovingly as they gazed up wide at the stars above. "You like the stars, don't you m'lad?" She asked. Elsie paused, smiling in consideration for a beat. "Mummy says freedom."