Inside zir secret lair in New Mexico, Professor Dementrix could scarcely believe zir eyes as Kim Possible suddenly appeared on all the monitor screens.
"My fellow Americans, this is independent presidential candidate..."
"KIM POSSIBLE!" Dementrix roared. Once again, the girl who could do anything had escaped from zir clutches. Ze had assumed that the WAPN drones aboard zir airship had abducted her according to their programming, as she was becoming too hot for their brethren to handle.
To make matters worse, a new object had unexpectedly appeared on the lair's radar screen: it was the airship! Why in blazes was it returning to base? Didn't the drone pilots know that they could have been followed?
Dementrix decided that it didn't matter. The airship had to be destroyed before it could give away zir location to any of zir enemies. As for the drones aboard the craft, they could simply be rebuilt and replaced later.
"Drone #123, I need you to shoot down that airship!" ze barked to the nearest drone.
"Affirmative, sire," replied Drone #123. Turning around, it commanded its fellow lair drones to open fire on the airship.
Not one laser blast hit its mark. Instead, a second rapidly-moving target separated from the main craft, heading directly towards the hidden lair.
"ENGAGE ALL SECURITY MEASURES AND DEFENCES!" screamed Dementrix, trying to prevent a break-in.
It was too little, too late. A mighty blast shook the whole lair as one of its steel walls was blown apart. As the smoke cleared, a lone figure stepped confidently through the opening.
It was Ron Stoppable, clad in Kim's battlesuit and wearing a nasty smile on his face.
"Did somebody say, 'Boo-Yah'?"
Wade carefully manoeuvred three of the airship's WAPN drones into place. Ron's part in Team Possible's plan was to be televised, so optimal camera angles were key. He watched as Ron calmly stepped forward and confronted the evil genius.
Back on the airship, Kim watched her fiancé go to war. It had been her idea to loan Ron her nanotech Battlesuit 2.0, all the better to confront Dementrix and zir army of drones with. Over the past hour, they'd discussed the plan with each other until they felt they'd ironed out all the kinks, and now he was ready. Kim had done her part, now it was Ron's turn to shine.
As she saw Ron get into his classic fighting stance, Kim whispered four words to the monitor screen.
"Go get 'im, Tiger."
With a feral yell, Ron leapt towards his opponent. His new battlesuit enhanced his strength and reflexes, making him a force to be reckoned with.
Dementrix dodged Ron's initial attack, grabbing his right leg as he flew past zir. Swinging the lad around like an Olympic hammer, ze intended to hurl him face-first into a wall.
Ron countered by spinning superhumanly fast around his body's vertical axis, face-planting Dementrix into the floor instead. Landing on his feet with a graceful flourish, he gestured towards his sleek white-and-purple outfit.
"Miss this, pussycat?" he asked Dementrix mockingly. "It's fully upgraded and completely unhackable."
With a frustrated roar, Dementrix got up and lunged at Ron. Unfortunately for zir, Ron was already moving. A second later, Ron's right foot connected hard with zir chin, sending zir flying backwards into a control panel.
"...despite all this, Ron Stoppable never complained. Instead, he stuck with me through thick and thin..."
Ron heard every word of Kim's speech on the large screens around the lair. Hearing her openly praise him like that boosted his morale and helped him fight with renewed vigour. She truly was a cheerleader of cheerleaders, Ron realised, and he was determined to give her a game worthy of her cheer.
"...at moments when I was rotten to him and even when I forgot him."
Energised, Ron Stoppable charged at Dementrix for the final time. He'd let this fight continue for long enough. If he allowed the battle to drag on any further, it could potentially unravel the plan he and Kim had put together.
He'd readied the trap for his opponent; all that was left was to make the last few moves and spring it.
Grabbing onto Dementrix, Ron quickly put zir in a chokehold. "You think you've won, Dementrix," he told his gasping foe calmly, "but you're wrong. You see, I know your secret."
With a burst of strength, he hurled the trans woman across the room and straight through a steel wall. Ron strode fearlessly through the hole ze left behind. "And that is..."
America gasped at the images flashing across its TV screens. It couldn't be, it was impossible. Seated at a console behind hundreds of monitor screens was...
Professor Dementor, dressed in his regular outfit and very, very much a cis white male.
"That secret is," said Ron triumphantly, "that 'Dementrix' never existed. It was you the whole time, Professor Dementor."
His cover blown, Dementor sprung from his seat in a rage. Turning to the drone that had been his public face for a year-and-a-half, he ordered, "Kill the boy and shut down all transmissions NOW!"
"I'm afraid I cannot do that, sir," replied the drone.
"WHY NOT?!" screamed the Professor.
"I have been reprogrammed to obey the orders of one Ronald Stoppable."
As if on cue, the rest of Dementor's WAPN drones swarmed into his hidden sanctum. They all shared a common network, so any reprogramming of that network affected them all alike. Ron had been in control of them since before Kim set foot on the airship.
Ron surveyed his robotic army with pride as they assembled behind him. Gesturing to the impotent figure before him, he gave them their marching orders.
"Guys and girls," he said coolly, "sic him."
Obediently, dozens of Dementor's own WAPN drones surged forward and began attacking their former master.
Back on the airship, someone else was beaming with pride.
"Will you look at that?" said Kim Possible, as her smiling face appeared on all of Dementor's private monitors too. "My childhood friend is all grown up. And it's not just my enemies he has conquered today, but..."
Kim raised her right hand to the camera, displaying her engagement ring.
"...but my heart as well. For you see, the next President of the United States could very well be 'Mrs Ron Stoppable'. And though I'll miss going by Ms Possible, I shall wear my new name proudly; for it is the name of my hero, my equal, my very closest friend."
"NO!" screeched Dementor. This could not be happening... it was impossible!
Ron's eyes welled up with tears as his drones continued to kick Dementor's butt. "Thank you, Kim," he said softly.
"Citizens of the United States of America," said Kim Possible proudly, "I present to you: my ally and partner, Mr Ronald Stoppable!"
Dementor tried to escape, but found himself boxed in by his own WAPN drones. At last, the Dementrix drone, damaged from its battle with Ron, stepped forward from behind and hoisted Dementor in the air by his nape.
Ron walked up to his captive foe, who was struggling to free himself from the clutches of his own creation. "Well, Professor," said Ron, smugly looking him in the eye, "it's been a pleasure playing with you, but now the First Gentleman has two words to say."
Relishing each syllable, Ron Stoppable finished the game.
"Check. Your Privilege. Mate."
The Dementrix drone sent an electrical charge down its outstretched arm, tasering the evil Professor into unconsciousness. As Dementor fell limp in its grasp, Ron shot the drone a grateful look.
"Sorry I busted you up a bit there, Chrissy," Ron said, apologising to it. "I had to sell our staged fight to the audience."
"No offense taken, Master Stoppable," the drone replied. "I must say, you are quite the actor."
As the drones carried the helpless Dementor away, one of them stayed behind talking to Ron.
"Not to worry, sir, we will keep an eye on him and make sure he causes no more trouble till Election Day," it said dutifully.
"Thank you, William!" said Ron, saluting it. "You're the best."
"No Ron," called out a familiar voice behind him. "You are."
Kim Possible stood at the open entrance to the room, having been escorted there by a WAPN drone.
"Kim!" cried Ron, as he ran to embrace her.
They fell into each other's arms, and wept tears of gratitude that this battle was finally over. True, there was still the election to contend with, but neither of them doubted that "Dementrix" would cease to be a serious challenge after tonight.
"Are you okay?" Kim asked him finally. "Did any of those fake punches injure you?"
"Me?" said Ron dismissively. "Nah! Couldn't be better. What about you? That was some speech you gave back there."
"Well, someone gave me plenty of content to work with," said Kim coyly, causing her fiancé to blush. "Well done, Ron. I think we really killed it tonight."
"Me too, Kim, me too," said Ron gratefully.
Kim leaned over to whisper in his ear. "You know, Ron," she informed him, "the cameras are still rolling."
"What?" exclaimed Ron, gulping. He wasn't sure he wanted his private moment with Kim to be broadcast live to the entire nation.
"Shhh," she said, placing one finger over his lips to reassure him. "It's okay. Shall we make the most of it?"
Ron knew Kim well enough to understand what she meant. "Are you sure?" he asked her cautiously.
"Absolutely," she replied. "They'll love it. And it'll be a moment for us to remember."
"Well, all right then," he said at last. "I love you, KP."
"And I love you too, Ron," she whispered, as she angled her head upwards for the kiss.
Halfway across the country, the Tweebs averted their eyes from their TV set.
"Ugh, gross!" they cried, desperately trying to block out the sight.
It didn't matter. All over America, people cheered in celebration of their next President and First Gentleman.