Chapter Eighteen

It was a long day and a half of fitful sleeping interrupted with bouts of eating and drinking before Sorey was allowed to leave. He woke up once in the middle of the night, ignoring his friends' protests as he attempted to sneak out. The moment his foot touched the cool stone floor on the other side of the divider, a knight who'd been standing watch by the door at the other end of the room turned her head to meet Sorey's eyes. He froze for a moment before forcing his face into a grin.

"Sorey!" Lailah hissed, her voice low even though no one else could hear her.

The knight blinked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"I, uh, just wanted to do some stretches," Sorey whispered, straightening. He raised an arm above his head and leaned to one side. "I've been in bed all day."

The knight didn't say anything. She just watched him do a few random stretches Sorey picked before he shuffled sheepishly back to bed.

"Sergei totally has tied down," Sorey sighed as his head fell back onto the pillow. His voice was barely a whisper. "I didn't expect him to go that far to stop me."

"He's lost his LT and his best friend was killed the same day Alisha fell into a coma," Zaveid explained. "I think he just doesn't want to lose anyone else."

"Makes sense." Sorey let out another sigh. "Anyway, I'm wide awake now. Think you guys could fill me in on everything I missed?"

They repeated what he'd learned from Roshe and Rohan in Marlind, adding details here and there. They told him about how Rose was acting as a double agent from inside an extremist cell in Pendrago. About the possibility of Alisha's political marriage, about the murders, and about Lunarre and Symmone and their involvement in the murders.

"Lunarre is still alive - was still a hellion?" Sorey gasped. "I thought we dealt with him."

"So did we," Edna replied bitterly. "We were just as surprised. Symmone's Orb hid his malevolence so we couldn't sense him. He's dead now though. You can thank Rose and Mikleo for that."

"I had no idea things had gotten so crazy."

"Well, you were asleep the whole time," Edna commented dryly.

"Poor Alisha."

"Yeah," Zaveid agreed.

"I'm glad she had you guys, though."

"So are we," said Lailah.

The heavy footsteps of someone in armor moved away from the door and towards his bed. She must have heard him (seemingly) talking to himself and was coming to check on him.

Sorey closed his eyes again, hoping sleep would return to him. He'd rather not spend his time waiting for the sunrise by staring at a ceiling. He'd improved a lot since when Sergei first found him, with any luck he'd be released in the morning.

...

When Sorey woke to find his clothes washed for him and neatly folded on the table beside his bed, he took it as a dismissal and dressed in record speed. He didn't even wait for his breakfast. He left his section and found the exit was still guarded when he stepped into the main aisle but he wouldn't let that slow him.

"Got my clothes doctor said I could go," Sorey spewed as he weaved around the knight, before the knight could even open his mouth to protest.

He could hear the collective sigh of his seraphim companions. He understood their concerns. He might have laughed it off were the circumstances not so dire. Every second wasted was a second closer to losing both Rose and Mikleo forever. He knew they understood that, and he couldn't fault them for not wanting to lose him as well. But he couldn't abide being held back any longer out of needless concern. He could rest once he knew everyone was safe.

He tore through the palace corriders, dodging servants left and right. A few stopped in shock. Others carried on as if his behavior was completely unworthy of notice - like they saw this sort of thing all the time. Sorey had no idea where he was going. He trusted his instincts to lead him outside. It turned out his instincts were mostly correct. Zaveid directed him around the final turn before the winding corridors opened into the massive lobby at the palace entrance.

Sorey stumbled down some red carpeted steps, catching his balance with a hard landing on his foot he felt all the way up his calf. Then he was at the doors and burst outside and was blinded by the sun. His eyes were slow to adjust. He shadowed them with a hand and reached out with his Shepherd senses as his pupils slowly shrunk and his heart hammered in his ears.

"We just have to follow the malevolence, right?" Sorey asked, taking hungry breaths between words.

"Most likely," said Zaveid.

"I don't think they're in the city," said Lailah. "We haven't sensed them here and I assume they'd want to stay away to avoid further endangering Alisha."

"All right. Outside the city. Got it." Sorey pumped a fist into his open palm, squinting against the daylight - his eyes no longer shielded.

Though more crowded, the streets were much wider and easier to navigate than the palace whose halls felt like ant tunnels in comparison. Zaveid's windstepping had them gusting through the crowds at speed. Most passersby took no notice, but the occasional head was turned, wondering how it was possible for someone to move that fast. Every now and then, they would run through a pocket of malevolence and Sorey's chest would tighten. The hairs on his arms sticking on end like feelers for any sign of Mikleo or Rose. They found nothing. He kept running.

Sorey's legs and Zaveid's wind carried him to the castle gates where he began to feel a force pulling him towards the exit like a cold vacuum. He'd not yet even set one foot onto Pearloats Pasture, when his nostrils flared at the presence of a powerful malevolence that greeted him with its foul, dark stench. He almost staggered into the field. Anyone lesser would have been overwhelmed by this domain. It had to be them.

But its corruption was so pervasive, feeling for the source - where it would be most concentrated - was a fool's errand. The sky itself was a haze of purple, and flakes of malevolence drifted upwards like a reverse snowfall. Sorey could feel the corruption in the very soil. It was like trying to walk while invisible hands were grasping at his feet. Every animal they saw was a hellion without exception. And the shafts of wild oats the field had been named for were drooping, weakened by the poisoned soil. The air was thick, and every breath never felt like enough.

There were only two hellions who'd illicited a similar response. Heldalf. And Eizen. Anxiety spiked his veins with adrenaline. He ran even harder, aimlessly searching for any sign of the source. He crashed through the oat fields, the grass whipping against him in protest to his trespass. They were all thinking the same thing, though none of them dared give voice to it. The only being capable of producing a doman like this... Despite frail hope desperately trying to scream the contrary, deep down they all knew. The only being capable of producing a domain like this was a dragon.

...

Mikleo-Rose sat in the usual spot, doing the usual visualization exercise. If they envisioned their aura of malevolence as a whirlpool slowly drawing inwards to the center, they had a limited ability to contain the range of its influence. Only the very fringes bled into the city itself. They wanted to run away. To minimize the damage, but they stayed. They couldn't leave Alisha. They couldn't abandon what they'd started. But that last meeting with Narcy had been a mistake. Probably. Stephen's malevolence had returned. Without proper purification, it was likely to keep returning no matter how much they tried to absorb into themselves. And then they had been simultaneously flooded with the malevolence of every other member present as Narcy laid out Plan A. They could feel the scales sprouting beneath their clothes, no longer able to control the transformation. They'd left them coughing blood into their hands. They hadn't left Gaferis Ruins in the three days since. Luckily, their presence wasn't needed again for a while at least. No one would sense anything amiss just yet. But they didn't know how long they had.

Mikleo-Rose hugged their knees to their chest, counting the scales on their palms. As long as they had hands with four fingers and a thumb and walked on two legs they couldn't be... They couldn't finish the thought. Not a even a sliver of human flesh was visible anymore. They tried to lean back, their wing joints bumping smartly against the wall. They gave up and hunched forward again. No matter how small they tried to make themselves, the walls of Gaferis Ruins were unable to contain the enormity of their domain.

The very moment Mikleo-Rose's head fell forward on top of their knees, the worn slabs that served as a door groaned open, stone grinding against stone. A square of sunlight settled in the center of that first room. It outshined the sconces they'd kept lit along the walls, and their reptilian pupils narrowed into vertical slits in gold irises. They shielded their eyes with a clawed handed. In the center of that rectangle of light, was the shadow of a person, growing shorter as they made their way down the crumbling stairs.

The person reached the bottom step and Rose-Mikleo was on their feet, rooted in a defensive stance with their wings curled protectively against their back. Their lips pulled back revealing two rows of pointed teeth.

"It's here. They have to be here," a familiar voice said. But there was no way it could be him. "I felt it once we opened the door. The malevolence is thicker here."

And then there were three silhouettes in the sunlight.

"I sense it too." That was Zaveid's voice.

What were they doing here?! They launched themselves out of the shadows, hands connecting with Zaveid's shoulders, pressing him down into the floor as they skidded across the stone. He cried out on impact. They jammed a knee hard onto his chest. Beads of blood were forming where her pointed nails were piercing his skin.

"Are you insane?!" Rose-Mikleo shrieked. "How can you leave Alisha alone the way she is?!"

Zaveid wheezed under the pressure. And there were hands - six of them - grabbing at her arms and her clothes attempting to haul her off.

"Rose, Mikleo, please calm down," Lailah pleaded.

But the hellionization had made them stronger. They unfurled their wings with all the force they could muster in their cursed body, and the others were flung across the room. They jumped to their feet and whirled on them.

"How can I be calm?" they yelled. "Alisha is dying because of me! Because I'm like this! And don't any of you dare lie to me." They spat. "I know she's in a coma."

"Alisha is going to be fine. Sorey is -" Lailah started.

"Sorey is sleeping while we're all suffering!" Mikleo-Rose's chest heaved with the cry. "If he'd have been here, maybe - maybe - " They clutched at their hair, fingers bumping the horns that protruded just past their hairline. They shook, equal parts rage and despair.

"I'm here now." Sorey pushed himself to his feet.

Whatever Mikleo-Rose had been about to say died in their throat and was forgotten. Having finally adjusted to the brightness of the outside light, Sorey's face was unmistakeable. The world stood still for a moment, the only sounds their own pulse and Sorey's careful steps towards them. He offered a weak smile - a pitiful attempt to placate. The world snapped back into motion and their fists were full of Sorey's shirt. They rammed him hard against the wall holding him just high enough his feet didn't reach the ground. Sorey grunted and gasped as he hit hard stone.

"What took you so long?" they snarled.

"You know why," Sorey said, his voice straining against their force.

"No, I don't know. What reason is good enough to abandon your friends when they're in need."

"I'm sorry."

They lifted him away from the wall only to shove him back into it hard enough to make a dent. "Is that all you can say?"

"You have to try to purify them," Edna cut in. "If they can still talk, there's a chance it's not too late!"

Sorey rested his hands over Rose-Mikleo's fists balled in his shirt. They began to glow. Mikleo-Rose's eyes widend and they threw Sorey aside as if he'd stung them with acid.

"No!" they cried. "I am finally strong enough to protect everyone! You can't take that away from me!"

"You were always strong enough," said Sorey as he got back to his feet.

"That's not true. If I had been strong enough then Angelie would be - and Alisha would be -"

"Just because you're not all-powerful doesn't mean you're not strong."

"If I were strong," their voice trembled and cracked, "then why are the people I'm trying to protect dead?"

"Who are you protecting by hiding away here?" Edna snapped. With a stamp of her foot, the stone beneath the hellion's feet shifted. "You can't even go anywhere near Alisha."

A pillar rose out of the floor to slam them into the celing. It then crumbled to dust, and Mikleo-Rose fell back down through the open air. They flapped their wings to right themselves before landing but a tornado roared to life at just the right moment to flip them around and slam them flat on their back. They could hear the cartilage in their wings crunch beneath the weight of the rest of their body. They let out a sharp hiss as the pain stabbed deep into their shoulder blades and their head cracked against the floor. They opened their eyes to see stars.

"You really think you can help anyone the way you are?" Zaveid asked, his words dripping with disgust and disappointment.

Rose-Mikleo threw their hands up then behind them, palms flat on the ground and hopped to their feet. They landed in a crouch, their mangled wings hanging open and lop-sided. As their vision cleared, they eyed them all with contempt.

Lailah's seraphic arte finished priming and before they could make another move they were surrounded by a ring of fire. They could feel their strength being sapped by just the heat alone. They sprung forward, and upward, to clear the wall of fire, but the flames burst higher and they struck it like it were a solid thing and were seared with the heat of the sun. They were knocked back onto their already broken wings. Their scream of agony filled the room and echoed off the walls.

"You could have cleared through that if you really wanted to," Sorey said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "You don't really want this, do you?"

"Please, let us help you," Lailah took a step closer.

Mikleo-Rose rolled over onto their stomach and heaved themselves to their hands and knees. They could still feel the brand of the flames of purification on their skin. If Lailah had the strength to hurt her with those flames then that meant...

They looked over at Sorey. "You're Shepherd again."

"Yeah."

There was simply no way a bond with Alisha could have given the seraphim that strength.

"So Alisha...?"

"Is going to be fine," Lailah assured them.

For a moment there was only the sound of Rose-Mikleo's labored breathing until they sat back on their heels, the fight knocked out of them by a wave of relief. They nodded, more to themselves than anyone else.

"Okay," they breathed and closed their eyes - bracing themselves for this nightmare to finally end.

There was pain. A lot of it. Every single nerve in her body was being branded by fire. They gave voice to that pain. Their scales itched and stung. They bled where they'd desperately raked of the offending scales with their claws. There was not a single atom in their being that did not know pain.

...

When it was over, and Rose's eyes opened again, Sorey found that he'd been holding his breath. But he couldn't let it go just yet. He watched her intently, relieved though still waiting. Her hair was its ordinary red, and she wasn't wearing the garb of an armatus and that worried him. She sat up and he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Where's Mikleo?" His voice cracked on the last syllable of his best friend's name.

Rose's head tilted to one side, brow furrowing in confusion. She spoke the following words in one voice, as if the answer were obvious. "I'm Mikleo."

Sorey's heart leapt into his throat where it swelled and blocked his ability to breath.

"Oh no." Lailah's hands went over her mouth. Her eyes were full of watery sorrow.

"Lailah, is this what you meant?" Edna's face was a picture of shock and horror.

Lailah nodded silently, her hands still over her mouth. Tears spilled out of the corners of her eyes.

"Hey, Mickey-boy." Zaveid squatted so he was on his level, his voice forced calm. "Where's Rose then?"

Mikleo(?) stared back, his expression, on Rose's face, still one of unwavering confusion. "I'm right here."

"So which is it? Are you Mikleo or are you Rose?"

They frowned. "I don't know. I'm just me."

Sorey swallowed his heart back down into his chest where everything was tight. "Lailah, what's going on?"

The fire seraph wiped her eyes on her sleeve before lowering her hands. "Seraphim are beings made of pure mana. When a seraph armatizes with a human, their mana fuses with the human's temporarily. The armatus isn't supposed to last more than one or two hours - certainly not more than a week."

"What are you saying?" His mind was too numb to put the pieces together himself.

"It's possible that the prolonged fusion of Mikleo's mana with Rose's has made them... inseperable."

"So," Sorey worked his jaw, "you're saying they're one person now?" His throat was dry. His mouth was dry. His eyes were dry. Everything was dry. His heart cracked.

"In essence, yes." She hiccuped on the last word, forcing back a sob.

"But it can be reversed, right?" Sorey whirled to face her. His hands stretched out ready to catch whatever tiny morself of hope she could throw him. "If you know about this, then that must mean you've seen it before. How do we fix it?"

Lailah's hand went to her mouth again and turned away from his gaze. She squeezed her eyes shut, and more tears escaped. Her high heels clicking against stone as she disappeared up the steps was her reply, no longer able to face him. Thus was her answer.

"Okay, um. Just because Lailah can't say doesn't mean there isn't a way to fix thisMaybe we can wait it out. Or like once Rose dies a natural death, Mikleo's mana will be freed? Or, or something like that?" Sorey was a frenzy of movement - pacing and arm gestures - anything to keep his heart from whithering into nothing. "There has to be a solution."

"What if I don't die?' Mikleo-Rose asked, their voice hollow. "Because I'm part seraph now. And I'm stuck like this - not knowing which me is me or if my thoughts are really my own?"

"That's it!" Zaveid snapped his fingers. All eyes turned toward the loud sound.

"What's it? Be more specific," said Edna, more tired that irritated.

"We just have to remind them - remind you," he gestured to Mikleo-Rose, "who you are. If we can remind you of what separates you as people then maybe your mana will separate too."

Sorey's green eyes lit up. "That's a great idea!"

"Sure," said Edna, "but how do we do that?"

Sorey twirled on his heel, giddy with hope. His arms spread wide. "We start right here! Rose hates ruins and Mikleo loves them. Let's explore this place."

"But we've already been here."

"Maybe we'll find new secrets. Let's go!" Sorey grabbed Mikleo-Rose's wrist and yanked them to their feet and dragged them deeper into the ruin.

"I'm starting to feel guilty for sleeping through all this," Sorey mumbled, as they stopped in front of a mural.

"Don't." Mikleo-Rose placed a hand on his shoulder. "You couldn't have possibly known any of this would have happened. What you are doing with Maotelus is extremely important too."

"Was," Sorey corrected.

"I'm sorry?"

"What I was doing." Sorey turned his head away from them. "To be able to purify the land, without a Shepherd's pact, I made an oath to Maotelus - like a seraphim's oath. I would stay with him, as long as I was needed until the job was done. But while I was there I could feel things. I felt you and Rose grow dark and less distinct, and I felt Alisha slipping away and I -" his voice cracked "I just couldn't stay there anymore."

"So you broke your oath," Mikleo-Rose murmured gently, their hand still resting softly on his shoulder.

"I failed. Both you and Maotelus." His voice was suddenly hoarse and shaky. "And I can't go back and undo it. But when I felt you - when I felt Mikleo disappearing, I just couldn't stay. I couldn't let Mikleo disappear before I heard what he was waiting to tell me when I woke up."

"I..." Mikleo-Rose's eyes were full of emotion, like they were about to say something, but then slowly warped into pain. Their hands flew to their throbbing temples and they bent their head forward. "I can't deal with this anymore!"

Their entire body flashed white then, miraculously, split into two. When the light faded Rose and Mikleo were standing side by side in mirrored poses.

Mikleo was the first to release his head. He looked up, met Sorey's eyes, and before Sorey could even mutter a syllable of relief, Mikleo's face turned bright and turned towards Rose to hide it.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled to her. "I can't help it."

Rose squinted her eyes at Sorey then back at Mikleo. She ran a hand through her hair, appearing slightly flustered but mostly annoyed.

"Clearly," she said. "I'll be glad to never share those thoughts again."

"Oh, like yours were any better." Mikleo regained some of his composure.

"Okay, that's-" Rose jabbed a finger at him. "Actually, you know what. We're just not going to talk about this. Ever."

"Works for me."

"Are you two okay?" Sorey's gaze flicked between them.

"Yeah, we're fine. Thanks for uh, being you, I guess." Rose gave Sorey a friendly but awkward pat on the arm. "But I'm just gonna leave you two boys to it. Later."

Sorey watched her leave before turning to Mikleo, who still was looking anywhere but at him. "What was that about? Are you two okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine." Mikleo clutched at his own arm. "It was just awkward, being stuck together like that for so long. Over time it got... harder - to avoid sharing thoughts you'd rather have kept secret."

"I see."

Mikleo still wouldn't look Sorey in the eyes for more than a split second, and his cheeks were dusted a pink that made Sorey's heartrate pick up. Sorey tried not to speculate, but he couldn't stop his imagination from running away from him. What he'd said about wanting to hear Mikleo's words had obviously triggered a strong enough emotional reaction to separate himself with Rose. And whatever that thought was, it had Mikleo red-faced and looking anywhere but at him.

"Well," Sorey began at a snail's pace, carefully guaging his friend's reaction to every word. "I'm awake now. So if you still want to tell me, I'm listening."

Mikleo looked mortified. "That's okay," he said too quickly. Then "I can tell you once you've purified Maotelus."

It was Sorey's turn to look away. "I meant it literally - when I said I can't go back. I can't make an oath I've already broken. But, you don't have to rell me right now. You can tell me whenever you feel comfortable. Or not tell me at all."

"So does that mean you're staying?" Mikleo's voice cracked with something Sorey's optimistic heart wanted to believe was hope.

"For better or worse."

The words were barely out of Sorey's mouth before Mikleo flung his arms around his neck Sorey stumbled back a step as Mikleo crashed into him. Mikleo buried his face in Sorey's shoulder, holding him tight, fingers curling into the fabric of his cloak. Sorey's arms came up around Mikleo's middle, gently pulling him flush against him.

"How come you didn't greet me like this earlier?" Sorey chuckled softly into Mikleo's hair.

"I thought you were going to leave again," said Mikleo, his voice muffled by Sorey's shirt.

"So you thought it'd be harder to let go?" Sorey offered when Mikleo didn't continue. He could feel Mikleo nodding into his shoulder. "You know, I also had something I wanted to tell you before I went to sleep."

Mikleo lifted his head up, finally meeting Sorey's gaze, regarding him with a puzzled expression. "You did? You never mentioned anything."

"Yeah. I had a feeling that if I did, things might've changed and... I was afraid of losing my resolve." He could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage, and Mikleo's pounding back.

"Does that mean you can tell me now?" Mikleo needled shyly. His cheeks were still flushed.

Feeling the warmth in his own cheeks, Sorey imagined his face was just as pink. He'd never felt this anxious around Mikleo. Nothing had ever come between them, and it had seemed nothing ever would. But this. This. This was so enormous, that he feared speaking it aloud would forever change things and the future was an unknown he wasn't prepared to face without Mikleo by his side, the same as always.

"Only if you tell me first," Sorey teased.

Mikleo's face somehow managed to turn even redder. His eyes anxiously flicked away from his face and back. "It's probably nothing you don't know already."

"Then it should be easy to say it." Sorey met Mikleo's eyes briefly, and he was sure in that moment that he'd seen the same cautious hope he felt reflected in those magenta irises.

"Why don't you speak first?"

Sorey pressed Mikleo even closer, his palm on the small of his back. "It's probably nothing you don't know already."

Mikleo's grip on his clothes went slack and for a second Sorey was afraid he was about to break away. But then Mikleo's hands were sliding back across his shoulder, stopping to cup either side of his face, and then a pair of lips - insistent and warm - against his own. Sorey's heart exploded with warmth. He angled his head, leaning into the kiss - his mouth clumsy and eager. Mikleo broke away far too soon, putting his fingers to Sorey's lips to prevent him from trying to kiss him again.

"Your breath is absolutely terrible," Mikleo said flatly, his once shy features now contorted in candid distaste.

Sorey's face grew hot. "Sorry. I, uh, left in a hurry and didn't brush my teeth this morning. Or eat. I was worried."

Mikleo sighed, his features relaxing into fondness. "Given the circumstances, I suppose I can forgive you."

"But um," Sorey looked at him through his eyelashes, batting them shyly, "you think once I have we can try again?"

"O-oh um." Color flooded Mikleo's cheeks once more. "Yeah. If you want. That would be..."

"Nice?"

"Yeah."

Sorey's stomach howled between them. "I guess I could really go for some breakfast."

"Me too."

They separated, and started towards the exit.

"Hey, Mikleo," Sorey said, taking the other boy's hand into his own as they walked. "I love you."

Mikleo smiled and gave his hand a firm squeeze. "I love you too."