I was awoken to sounds coming from the bathroom, I quickly thrown the sheets off of me as I saw Victorya hunched over the toilet bowl.
"Victorya why didn't you wake me." I said as I moved her hair out of the way as she kept puking her guts out.
Victorya warned me how with the pregnancy she was beginning to feel nauseous but I didn't realize it was going to be this often. Tanya was definitely going to realize it eventually and this whole charade that we so carefully tried to conceal would be revealed.
"Im...fine." she protested, her face was green as a lime. The moment after she said those words she began to throw up again.
I quickly got up and turnt the nozzle in the shower, when we were sure it was done Victorya went into the shower and I carried her clothes and tossed them into the hamper. What was I going to say?
Me and her had planned to tell Tanya about her situation, this would be phase one of the plan and she would be shipped out would stay with her mom for the rest of the pregnancy.
But she hasn't told her yet, and now with the nausea she was definitely going to pick up on it. I had no idea why Victorya kept on delaying it, everytime I talked to her about it she would just tell me how she would do it one of these days but now it's been weeks.
I walked over towards the bathroom door, my hand awkwardly about to turn the door but I just couldn't. Why was I so afraid to talk to Victorya now?
The whole conversation made us feel uncomfortable, uncomfortable how she was going to have to leave her family behind and move to another country while I had to fake my own death.
It wasn't a subject that was brought up often but as I clutched the knob of the door I knew that it had to happen, if it didn't who knew what would happen.
A siren rang out causing us to jump. "Not now" I whispered to myself as I pressed the palm of my hand against my face.
I had to carry Victorya in my arms as we rushed to the armory to get ready. When we were all done I was hoping Tanya was going to say something about Victorya's awful appearance.
Her face was the color of a lime and she would violently hiccup, many members of the 203rd backed up from her in fear of getting sick.
"Victorya are you alright." Tanya said sternly, her eyes were staring down at Victorya trying to dig deep down into her soul
Tanya motivated her troops with rewards and fear, and she knew how Victorya was useful so I guess she tried to motivate her.
Victorya never told me about her fear of Tanya but it was apparent. Anything that Victorya messed up on or did something accidental, she would freeze and go stiff.
Tanya would never punish her because these occasions were rare and far between, but that never stopped her from crying into my arms when she was gone. We needed to leave soon, but I had no idea why it was taking Victorya so long.
Victorya's eyes widened as she violently nodded her head, I was pleading for Tanya to realize how something was seriously wrong with her and make her stay at the base. I would take her place if she needed.
But all Tanya did was walk away without uttering a word, she took a stand at the podium and began to explain to us the operation.
Turns out a mage division was discovered heading to the capitol, the number was unknown and the enemy's nation was also unknown so we had no idea what type of technology we would have to deal with.
What made matters worse was the storm above us, the clouds were dark and there would be flashes of brilliant purple streaks.
The attackers probably thought that the weather would hide them, but they underestimated the empires mana tracking machines. The moment they crossed the border we were sent the coordinates to their exact location.
We were the closest ones there, we were also going to be assisted by multiple mage squadrons to assist us due to the unknown amount of enemy mages. It could be ten or maybe a hundred, but I was still anxious about how we were flying in this weather.
I was wearing solid metal, if lightning hit me I had no idea what would happen. This was another issue with the A.P.A armor, the lack of using it in stressful environments.
If I was ever cold the armor it wouldn't keep me hot, if I was hot the armor wouldn't be able to maintain cold air, and if I was struck by lighting head on. I was sure to perish due to millions of volts of electricity spreading through my body.
The only thing the armor could do was survive aquatic conditions, at least theoretically. I did personal research about the A.P.A armor and discovered how the doctor had many plans for the A.P.A that didn't make it into production.
A wrist flamethrower, a contractible knife, a missile mounted rocket launcher. But there were ethor a lack of funds or the armor isn't compatible with the upgrades, maybe the next time I meet with the doctor I could ask him if he could give me an upgrade.
Having a flamethrower that I could fire from my wrist seemed really cool, but me and Victorya were planning on leaving soon so what was the point of it.
I would just abandon the armor, toss my ID somewhere close to it and run to the nearest boat heading to the Unified States. Command wouldn't care if I died, I wasn't Tanya.
As we ascended the sky darkened, it didn't help how we were doing this operation at night and how it was pouring rain.
The only thing that was illuminated were flashlights and the red eyes that were beaming straight into the darkness, it felt strange staring into the darkness. I could feel the power of each shadow as we pushed further and further.
I saw Victorya shivering as she clutched both of her hands around herself as she flew, I didn't care if anybody saw but I wrapped my left arm around her waist and brought her close.
"Frank I know it's dark but people can still see."
I nodded my head as my grip around her tightened, I couldn't let her go. Not now, when we were so close to being free. My needs were few and pure, all I wanted was to make the girl around my arms safe.
That's all I want God, please give me the strength to protect her.
Tanya stopped us as she began to divide us into little miniature squads, even the mages that weren't apart of the 203rd were being divided into squads of eight.
Tanya assigned Victorya to a different squad then me, I could feel the hem of her jacket as she pulled away. I could smell the lavender in her hair, the strong smell of gunpowder from her jacket, and the look of sorrow in her eyes.
Me and Tanya were the only ones that were not apart of a squad of five, me and her also went off into a complete new direction then the rest of the squads as we pushed straight into the coordinates of the enemy.
When Victorya slipped from my grasp it felt like I lost a limb. She slipped from my grasp and I had no idea where she was and if I didn't know where she was in this place there was no way I could protect her.
I know that only here the blind man sings, even in the pouring rain.
The rain against the armor made the notes of drenched violens as countless red flares were shot around to illuminate the surroundings.
"Frank are you okay."
"Im fine." I answered
She stared at me for a second, with her eyes that could tell that I was lying.
"Are you worried about Victorya?" she asked
"Me and her are friends, of course I worry."
"Really, just friends" she joked as a little smile spread across her face
"Yeah." I said feeling my voice dip a little bit, how the hell could she have figured it out
"Is that why I spent a whole month sleeping in my office, so I wouldn't disturb you and Victorya."
"How did you know?"
"It's pretty obvious, many of the other guys around camp see through it too. They know that you and Victorya just don't talk for hours alone." she said as she turned her attention back towards the sky
"I put me and you together because if anything went wrong we could split up and assist anybody, sure we could be the ones getting attacked but we can easily radio to the others to swarm on our location." she affirmed
Her voice was stern and mature as her face shifted, she wasn't fourteen but now a seasoned analytics. " Relax Frank everything will be fine, Victorya is a tough girl. Just relax and focus on the mission."
When she spoke to me like that I understood why command and many members of the 203rd viewed her as such an amazing leader. She knew how to inspire and for a little while I was able to forget about Victorya.
A couple of minutes passed as we patrolled the area until we heard on the intercom at garbled scream, after that a massive wave of explosions and gunshots were booming with the cracks of lightning.
Me and Tanya immediately advanced seeing enemy mage's attacking our boys so we did what we did best, she shot and zippered around like a fairy, while I stormed head on with the machine gun and ripped through the enemies.
Tanya approached me as the men all stared in horror at us, what happened? They were all covered in bullet wounds and there were some losing heavy amounts of blood, some were even being held by their friends because they would tumble through the sky due to exhaustion
"What happened?" Tanya boomed as she grabbed the nearest man by his collar
Usually men's faces would go in fear or shock of getting man handled by Tanya, but all he did was stare at her like he couldn't hear her.
"Jammers...we couldn't reach you or anybody, the only thing we could do was link up with one another." he said
His brown hair and freckled face were stained red due to a massive head injury, he blacked out a second later. If Tanya wasn't holding him then he probably would have fallen to his death, the crazy thing was how everybody was injured.
Broken bones, bullet wounds, and two soldiers were cradling one man who lost his arm too an explosive mage bullet. An ambush, but wait where was Victorya.
I scanned the crowd as I pushed through the men
"Where is Victorya!" I screamed out as I grabbed a random soldier by the collar
He was twelve years old, he shouldn't have been here and he was stuttering. Tears streamed from his face, this was probably his first battle.
"Where is she, did I fucking stutter!" I screamed out
"Frank relax." Tanya said as she stuck her hands up in the air to try and calm me down
"Shut up Tanya!" I commanded
"She pushed deeper into the storm with the rest of the squad, we can't reach her." the boy said as he began to wipe his face
My knuckles clenched up as I released him, my teeth were pressed so tight that I began to feel them get loose. I began to profusely sweat, I could feel something take over.
Something repressed, a darkness, something that shouldn't have been locked away in my heart. But my wraith...bloodlust...anger began to ooze from me, this was unfair so wrong she could be walking into a trap.
I had to save her, I began to float away towards the area, but Tanya's gun stopped me.
"Frank I understand that you want to save her, but if they wage another counterattack we will be decimated."
"Out of my way Tanya."
"Frank if you disobey me that is a court martial and a firing squad, even if you do save her we won't have enough men to wage our own counter attack. The capitol will be defenseless, what happened to that civilian city will happen to us."
"I don't care, all that matters is if Victorya lives." I exploded
"Frank I know that she is special to you, but you are our ace in our whole. Look at the men around you."
I looked around seeing the pain and despair over their faces, but I couldn't care about them. I couldn't care about there lives. They weren't my problem, they had their goals and I had mine. I wouldn't care if a bullet pierced my skull during my execution, as long as Victorya and my child had a chance.
I would die happy, knowing that they have a chance to live. How in my life I was a cold machine that had other people decide my purpose, my dream. But now I had a purpose and a dream that was my own, a dream for my wife and child to live a happy life, even though I might not be apart of it.
"Frank I can't even use the Type 95 effictivly here, for all I know I could accidentally destroy a civilian village or maybe even Victorya due to comms being useless." she exclaimed
I smashed my fist into my helmet out of pure anger, the sound caused the men to jump. Even Tanya was startled as her gun began to shake. "I don't care Tanya. I don't care if the Empire burns or if I have to build a mountain of corpses to reach her." I growled
"Frank stay here and held defend, that's an order." she uttered as she aimed her gun at me
Something clicked inside of me, like a lock was broken and I was able to finally be alive for the first time in my life. This dream that I had felt so real that for a second I could touch it.
"For the last damn time I don't care. Davey, Anes, and especially you will never control me again" I hissed
Something awakened in the darkness inside of me, like a wolf starved and cold. Saw the first morning break the horizon. I had a purpose and if one could'ent live there life the way they wanted, they should just die.
"But command said your a rob…"
"Fuck you, im human the real deal. Don't lump me together with the likes of you." I said as I stuck my mage boot down and sent myself towards Victorya
After maybe ten minutes of searching I saw her and her squad, they were getting decimated. She was fighting her heart out but those boys that she was paired with could hardly hold there own in a fight.
As I proppled myself quicker and quicker, adding more and more mana to my mage gear to make me fly faster. Maybe because it was the exhaustion but for a second, just like a morning breeze I was swept away into a memory.
The frozen dark skies were transformed into the barracks, instead of holding my gun I was holding Victorya's body around me.
I wiped a strand of hair plastered to her sweating face as she tightened her grip onto my raw back.
"I love you" she lightly whispered into my ear, the lights of the flame were causing shadows to dance around us
When she said those words I hesitated, they felt so real, so genuine. Not the type of meaningless crap you say while kissing some broad.
The way she looked at me with her narrowed eyes full of lust, when she told me those words I knew they were true as she held my chin and brought me to her lips.
I felt an intense wave of pleasure as her tongue entered into my mouth as she grabbed my hair, we were in love.
That moment was something that I will always remember, when we were done there was a blanket draped over us next to the fireplace as our hands interlocked. Her finger was wearing the ring, she always liked to wear it when we were alone.
Maybe it was a sign of her commitment to me "I love you too." I uttered randomly, I wanted to facepalm myself. It felt so random and awkward to utter those words.
She smiled at me, that smile that will always make a soft warmth spread across my chest as I stared at her beautiful face.
"I want to keep holding you, forever."
"Really?" she gently smiled knowing my answer
"That's how I feel."
I brought her close to me one last time as the night dreams were arranged around in our heads like they were playing cards.
But the memory ended as I saw her fall through the air, just like the time that I saved her. No, I was going to save her again.
"Victorya!" I screamed out in pure anguish, my voice getting horse as every fiber of my body pushed me to grab her.
I was going to save her, maybe she used up too much of her mana and her mage gear overloaded. Or maybe she was too exhausted from using too much magic, I shot through the air catching her near weightless body in my hand.
Her eyes were narrowed as she struggled to keep them open, I descended to the ground. I cradled her in my arms as I began trying to find a place to let her rest.
"Frank...it hurts." Victorya uttered as she began to press on my mask, she kept on trying to take it off to reach my face.
"Victorya I can't, I can hardly see anything darling." I said before my vision got smeared as she kept on trying to take it off. Her hands were bloody, her own blood stained my mask.
I unclicked the lock off of my mask and let it fall to the ground as I began to look around as she began to caress my face.
"Why are you still touching me, Visha." I said trying to see her face get sour, if she got mad then there wouldn't be anything to worry about
"Cause I just want to touch you one last time." she smiled at me as I felt her cup my cheek, her blood smeared my face as I slowly began to sob
I found a rock that overlooked a hill, it was getting easier to see because the rain was clearing up and the morning sun was reaching the horizon.
"There Frank." she pointed at the rock
"Victorya don't be silly, we aren't here to watch the sun rise."
"I used to watch them when I was a little girl, Karl would take me hiking really early in the morning...I would like to see one...one last time."
"What do you mean Visha, you will see many more sunsets...I just need to find somewhere safe for you to rest so I can find you a medic." I shouted angrily
She stared at me with those bright blue eyes and her smile, she was crying without making a sound as I saw her tears begin to drop down her face like they were rain..
No, she wasn't crying, I was the one as I held her tighter. That was the only thing I could ever do, cry and sob.
My nose felt runny and when the tears began they couldn't stop as snot and tears began to explode from me. My body felt strange like an extra fifty pounds were strapped onto me as I held onto her.
"Im so...sorry...I failed you!" I yelled, all she did was smile and her grip tightened bringing me closer
I'm a failure, I failed Victorya and I failed our child. He wouldn't have a life because I couldn't be faster, if I was a real aerial mage and didn't have all this weight holding me down. Then maybe I could have saved her.
I failed
"I am glad that you are with me." Victorya hummed
"Victorya let me try to save you, maybe I can be quick enough to get a medic down here."
She used her gloved hands to softly wipe the tears away, and used her sleeves to wipe away the snot. I wasn't ready, I couldn't let go of her.
"No, when I die…"
"No, your going to be fine!" I screamed out as I punched the ground beneath me
"I want you to be by my side." she said calmly as both of her hands overlapped my own, my fist unclenched
"I love you Victorya, please don't go, I'm not ready." I pleaded with her
She stared off at the rising sun that was beginning to illuminate the horizon, the lands of the empire were truly beautiful. Right for our eyes too see were rows of thinly cut grass and a raging stream ahead of us, it was a truly beautiful sight that Victorya shown me.
"Im glad...that I got to see one last sun rise, but im even happier that I got to see one with you." she said as the wind carried her words away
I rested my head into her collar of her shirt as I cried into it for what felt like an eternity, until I stopped seeing the rise and fall of her body.
Her blue eyes that used to be filled with life were gone, now there was a coldness to them as they stared openly at the rising sun.
"No, no, NO!" I screamed out in fury as my fist began to smash across my own face
I hated myself, I was a failure. I had one purpose, one dream to give the two people that I cared about most in my world an amazing life. But in a single day they were gone, I closed her eyes as she faced the sunset.
What was I supposed to do now, I stared at her rifle that I thrown carelessly to the side. There was no honor, no home, no one to fight for, only death and mayhem await me on this long and lonesome road.
I gripped the gun and turned it to face towards me.
I flipped the bolt clicking in another bullet as I pressed it against my chin, I could feel the circular barrel sending electricity through my skin
No tears were streaming down my face.
"I will be with you soon...just give me a second Victorya."
A loud bang echoed throughout the canyon as the sounds of crushed leaves and twigs were heard throughout the forest. But all I did was fall back down to my knees and press my head to the dirt and cry.
"Im sorry Victorya...im too much of a goddamn coward." I quivered as I slammed my face into the ground.
"What the hell is going on here?" a voice rang from right behind me
Enemy troops a whole battalion of them were hiking through here, they all stared at me in shock as they began to level there guns.
That feeling came in me once again, but this time it was tainted. The wolf that was running towards the sun realized how it was a false light, and now he was cold and in the dark but something changed,
The wolf spoke out from the depths of my soul sending numbness through each limb as I stared at the men.
"Let us run rampant with hatred, and spread our wraith towards the ones that oppose us. Just so we could crush the ones with our teeth the light of our affection!"
I could hear him in my head, I was finally going mad after all this time. Seeing all those dead bodies and stacking all these corpuses weren't the trigger, but my only dream, the only light that I ever had in this cold harsh world was now gone.
My body was shaking like I had an extreme cold, I was so scared as I heard the voice purred into my ear just like Victorya once did.
My anger and fear. Maybe even both...but I can never atone for this failure, I could never bring them back.
There was no honor...no home...no Victorya. If I can't atone for my failure...if I can't escape this guilt...all I can do is self-destruct...and take my enemies with me.
I slaughtered them all with the mg-44, and when I was out of ammo I beat the rest to death with the butt of my gun.
I blacked out several times, giving myself to this entity as it slaughtered the enemies that opposed me.
It didn't matter anymore, as I carried Victorya in my arms I could feel that voice inside of me. Like a strange coldness in my heart that could never be fixed, I flew back to where I thought Tanya was as I carried the frail girl I loved in my arms.