"Wait." I said, pulling away, and she straightened, sucking on her bottom lip as she studied me.
But, the smell of her filled my nose and my head, clouding my other senses. Her weight rested on my thighs, and I could feel her heat through the thin sheet. Her hands were on either side of my face, her thumbs stroking my cheeks tenderly, and the look she gave me could not be construed as anything other than desire.
She wanted this. Wanted me.
The Bond buzzed with excitement, coursing through us, its need to be sealed a desperate plea ringing in my ears.
And, fuck, I wanted it, too. Wanted her.
I groaned in surrender, and crushed my mouth to hers, wrapping my arms around her, and pulling her to me.
Her hands left my face to go around my neck, knotting in my hair, as she melted into me.
I traced her lips with my tongue, and she parted them, allowing me access. Letting me taste her.
I grew hard beneath her, and she broke away to throw her head back and moan, grinding her pelvis into me.
I kissed her jaw, her neck, and she moved to pull her robe off in one fluid motion, throwing it to the floor.
My kisses trailed along her collar bone, meeting the thin strap of the negligee she was wearing, and I reached up to pull it off or her shoulder.
I stopped, my fingertips brushing her skin, and swallowed.
Through my lust driven haze, I remembered that the physical act of love would seal The Bond.
If she gave herself to me, she'd be mine, whether she knew what she was doing or not.
And, I couldn't do that to her.
Rey sighed at my hesitation, and moved a hand to cup my cheek, pulling my face back to hers, and kissing me hungrily.
"Rey," I said, against her lips.
She moaned my name in response, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, and I felt her fingernails drag across the bare skin on my back.
I broke the kiss, and pulled away, "Stop."
She did, and looked up at me. Her lips were parted, and swollen.
"What is it?" She panted.
"I- I cant." I told her, trying to catch my own breath.
Her brow furrowed. "Why?" She asked in a small voice.
"Because there's something that I haven't told you." I admitted, and her eyes softened.
"I know." She breathed, sending ice down my spine.
I lowered my chin. "You know?"
She nodded, resting a hand on my cheek.
I had so many questions. How long had she known? Why did she never say anything? But, when I opened my mouth to ask her, the only thing that came out was a broken "How?"
She blushed. "I've done some reading." She confessed. "And, I know the first time will be painful. It's ok." She kissed me again, and I pulled back, again.
My forehead creased. What was she talking about?
It took longer than I'd like to admit for me to realize what she was actually saying.
Her first time.
Thank the Maker above that I'd stopped when I did.
I sighed. "No, that's not-" I shook my head. "That's not what I need to tell you."
"Ben," She dropped her hands from my face, and laid them flat on my chest. "I want this with you." She told me, locking her gaze with mine.
My heart broke.
Because she wanted me. And, I couldn't have her.
Not without her knowing the truth.
She looked down, then back up. "I'm ready." She said.
"But, I'm not." I confessed.
She sat up, her brow creasing. "But, you've had sex before."
"Yes, I have." I agreed. "But, it's different with you."
She looked at my lips, and when her eyes met mine again, there was nothing but heat and need in those molten honey orbs.
Explanations be gods-damned. We'd already said too many words anyway.
I captured her lips with mine, biting her bottom lip, and tugging it, then darting my tongue inside.
She groaned, grinding into me, and I ran my hands up her arms, to her shoulders, and pulled the straps off.
I broke away enough to watch the thin fabric fall, and I froze, not knowing what I should do next.
Rey flipped her hair back, and took my hands in hers, pulling them up, and deliberately placed them over her now exposed breasts.
I leaned in, kissing her neck, as I rolled her breasts in my hands. Lapping and nipping at the soft flesh of her throat, while teasing her nipples to pert little buds.
She moaned, grinding harder into me, and I gripped her thighs, rolling us over so that she was on her back.
I sat back onto my feet, and she hooked her thumbs into the negligee bunched up around her waist, and lifted herself up, pulling it off, and threw it into the floor with her discarded robe.
I drank in the sight of her, her bare breasts, her abdomen. Then, my gaze traveled lower to the dark curls at the apex of her thighs, as she curled her legs around me.
She sat up, her lips going to my neck, and her hands going to the waistband of my sleep pants.
I gently moved her hands away, and she looked up at me, confusion lacing her features.
"I want to touch you, first." I told her, my voice raw with want. I'd never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted her.
She laid back down, and parted her legs in silent invitation, never breaking eye contact with me.
I leaned forward, my mouth finding hers, our kiss open and deep as our tongues clashed.
My hand traveled down, drawing lazy circles around her navel, then crept lower, as my kisses trailed down her jaw to her neck.
She bucked, and moaned, putting her hand over mine and pushing it lower still, over the mound of dark curls, and I stroked a finger along her inner lips, finding her thoroughly soaked.
My thumb circled her clit, taunting, teasing, and I savored the feeling of her slickness on my fingers, growing harder than I thought possible.
She groaned, and quick little pants poured out of her, as I went lower, and plunged a finger into her.
Her hips bucked, and I moved my kisses lower, taking her nipple into my mouth, and teasing it with my tongue, as she writhed beneath me.
I added another finger, but with The Bond bloomed open between us, felt that I was stretching her uncomfortably, so I pulled it back, continuing with just one.
She moaned and panted, her hands fisting in the bedsheets, as she arched into my touch.
"That's it." I whispered, feeling her release build in her core through The Bond.
She moved her hands to my face, and pulled me up, so that she could crush her lips to mine.
She panted, her eyes closed, her head thrown back, her unintelligible cries begging me not to stop.
"Rey." I called, and she looked at me. Come for me. I begged, through the Bond.
And she shattered.
Her tightness squeezed down on my finger soaked with her as she came, her entire body shaking.
I stroked her inner walls until her trembling subsided, then withdrew from her, and she watched as I brought my fingers to my mouth and licked them clean.
I could taste her every single day for eternity and it wouldn't be enough.
She leaned forward, wrapping her hand around my aching cock, and I pulled her hand away.
"You should get some rest." I told her, bringing her hand up to kiss her palm.
She didn't protest. She sat up, and pulled the comforter up, then laid down, letting me pull her into my arms.
She laid her head on my chest, and was asleep in minutes.
I laid awake, the smell of her still on me, and stared up at the ceiling.
She had wanted what we'd done. She'd wanted more. And, had offered her virginity to me.
But, were the feelings that she had for me hers, or the Bond?
If I felt its pull, so did she. What if she was confusing its desire for her own?
I knew what it was like to be a pawn in someone else's game. To be used and abused until there was nothing left.
And, I'd be damned if I let that happen to Rey.
I loved her too much.
That realization shook me to my very core.
Love.
I'd never loved anyone, and wasnt sure if anyone had ever loved me.
But, I loved her.
What I felt for her wasnt just The Bond. Of that, at least, I was sure.
But, if what I felt wasnt a manipulation, hers wasnt either.
That meant, that she…
I tightened my arms around her and kissed her hair.
And, she kept my nightmares at bay.