Weller feels the world fade in slowly. It's dark but there's noise, a persistent sound he instinctively dislikes. He tries to remember what happened, make sense of his situation. The last thing he recalls is a lot of pain, being worried about Jane.
Jane. Roman. A knife in his back. That snaps him to the present, the sinking yet safe feeling of realizing he's in the hospital again. Still, it's a lot better than the alternative of bleeding to death due to his own mistake.
Kurt groans internally, tries to force his eyes open. He's just started to hear voices, nothing specific but in tones that are familiar to him, the audio profile of his team. It's almost like zoning out during one of Patterson's explanations, hearing everyone's voices float on top of each other.
But there's something missing, the sound is incomplete in a way that gnaws at him, pushes him towards the surface. Despite the weakness that pervades him, the heaviness of his body.
Jane.
He needs to see her, know that she's okay. Even in his hazy consciousness he knows that Roman probably stayed to watch her save him, that she risked herself for him yet again. Which pisses him off immensely, but has to be put aside for the moment, at least until her safety is confirmed.
Weller pries his eyes open, just a sliver. Then another try, manages to see a blur of colour before his eyelids fall shut again.
He hears Patterson, saying she saw him open his eyes and he knows he has to try harder, push through the weight in his head. Kurt raises his eyelids again and this time they're there, more than just a blur. Patterson, Tasha, Reade, Nas.
"Kurt, can you hear me?" Nas asks, grabbing onto his hand.
Weller nods a tiny bit and tries to talk but his vocal chords are raw and dusty. Patterson must see what the problem is because she gets a cup and a straw, offers him water.
Kurt remembers to sip it slowly, has learned that lesson before a few times. Even though he's already worked himself up, is desperate to voice his too obvious question.
"Where's Jane?" he sputters out, his throat still gritty from the smoke inhalation.
He can focus well enough to see the exchange of side glances between them all, feel the rise in nervous tension. They're obviously all playing silent 'not it' on telling him something really bad and he's about to completely lose it. He feels his breath quicken as worst case scenarios float through his head.
How long had he been out before they arrived at the hospital? It couldn't have been more than five minutes. What could have happened that they are all afraid to say?
Finally, Tasha steps up, gives him a sympathetic look. Which is a really bad sign, to get that kind of expression out of her.
"Jane went to meet with Roman," she says. "He called her in. But she said she had a plan."
His insides seize as the entire day tumbles through his mind, maybe the longest one of his life. Jane showing up bleeding then running off on a suicide mission. She had a plan then too, a terrible one.
"How long ago?" Weller asks, his blood pressure ramping up visibly on the monitor attached to him.
"Four hours," Patterson answers. "Settle down, Weller. You're not even supposed to be awake yet."
Four hours. Weller tells himself that she's usually gone much longer when she sees Roman, that he often arranges to meet her in distant locations. That it can often take her hours just to get to a place, especially with all the precautions she takes.
But it does nothing to quell his anxiety, make him wonder what could have happened. So many disastrous things that he can't think about any of it.
Kurt briefly shuts the panic out of his mind by forcing his brain to execute a mental scan of his body. Obviously they had closed up the knife wound, his left shoulder now swathed in bandaging and immobilized. He couldn't really feel much pain there yet, though that was clearly due to lingering anaesthetic. Weller knows from experience how much a healing knife wound hurts, what his future holds.
He also finds his right hand half-encased in a cast, which is a bit of a surprise. He hadn't quite remembered that part immediately though now he can picture it clearly. Roman exerting psychopathic dominance by crushing his hand, then plunging the knife further into his back.
Weller winces at the memory, feels his stomach recoil. Roman had managed to inflict a lot of pain in a short amount of time. Kurt recalls how pathetic he had felt and sounded after Jane arrived, groans to himself at the thought.
She had saved his life after he'd done exactly what she'd warned him against. Losing track of the situation, getting caught up in rescuing old ladies. And now she was out there alone, again.
He can't bear the thought of it. What Roman could be doing to her, what she had planned. He has to do something about it, find her somehow.
The first step of which is to extract himself from his hospital bed, despite how irrational it sounds, especially with his team there to stop him. But he has to try, starts by pulling out his IV, which of course attracts everyone's attention.
"Kurt, what do you think you're doing?"
"Weller, what the hell?"
"That is a seriously bad idea, Weller."
"You're being such an idiot right now."
He reaches to throw off the blanket, tries to spin his legs out of bed. But everything feels slow, on a lag. And then a hand pushes his torso back against the bed, makes him shout in agony.
"Lay down, Kurt. Before you hurt yourself worse," Nas says, unapologetically. "You're in no condition to go anywhere."
"Yeah, what were you going to do anyways? Find Roman and bleed on him?" Zapata adds sarcastically.
Weller knows that they're right but he desperately does not want to accept it. He can't just lie there knowing that Jane is in danger, despite the very real fact that he can't do anything about it. He's already going crazy and has only been conscious for fifteen minutes.
"There's got to be something we can do," he states. "We have to find her."
"All we can do is trust her, Weller," Patterson says. "Jane said she had a plan."
"She had a plan this afternoon that was going to end up with her dead!" Weller argues.
"Weller, calm down. Your heart rate and blood pressure are starting to spike," Patterson replies, her voice edged with worry.
"I can't calm down," Kurt sputters. "Anything could be happening to her right now."
"Jane can take care of herself," Reade tries.
Of course she can, Weller thinks. She only has herself to rely on. It's why he needs to get out of that bed, get moving on finding her.
He tries to push himself up once again and the machine starts to emit a frantic noise. Kurt attempts to solve this by removing the sensor from his finger but Nas easily swats away his attempt and this time it's Patterson who staples him to back to the mattress with her hand, glaring at him in exasperation.
Weller feels the tension inside him growing, a physical beast. The machine seems to beep in time to the anger hat's trying to spawn out of him, an irritating noise that just makes him more stressed out.
A nurse comes running in, checks the monitors in alarm and calls for a doctor. He's just telling the rest of the team that they have to leave while they figure out what's going on with Weller when the doctor strides into the room, followed closely by a familiar black-haired figure.
"Jane!" Weller shouts, ignoring both the doctor and the nurse. "What happened?"
His entire body floods with elation just seeing her standing there, seemingly fine. Of course the rest of the team also chime in their own versions of relief and disbelief, ask her an assortment of questions. But Jane doesn't seem to hear any of their comments, her only response is to stare at Kurt for a moment before her eyes light up in pure happiness and she comes up to grab his hand.
"Oh my god you're alive," she gasps. "What the hell is going on?"
With Jane present his blood pressure settles down almost immediately and the frantic alarm stops. The doctor quickly checks him over, replaces the IV and then leaves with a warning about too much stress that Weller doesn't bother to listen to. Whatever stress he had been under was almost alleviated just from knowing she's alive and well, looking at him worriedly while grasping his hand.
"Weller was being an asshat," Zapata volunteers. "But now that you're here, I think the problem is solved."
Jane frowns and Kurt sighs, rolls his eyes at the accuracy of Tasha's description. He lays his head back in exhaustion, suddenly spent after the rush of adrenaline he'd just set off. All the pain he hadn't noticed since he started freaking out about Jane now comes flooding back, makes him tense up and grind his jaw. Weller feels an overwhelming urge to close his eyes and sleep. Yet he can't because he's afraid she's still at risk, will just disappear again. He has to know what happened before he lets go of consciousness.
He wants to ask Jane again, but she is staring at him so intently he can't form words. The relieved smile on her face is entirely bewitching, he's sure her eyes are actually sparkling in the terrible hospital lighting.
Lost in her gaze, his vocal chords still frozen, all Kurt can think about is Jane's continued existence, being too incapacitated to help maintain her security. Also, how much he still loves her; how clear he's made it to everyone in the room, including the woman he's currently fucking.