A/N: Final chapter of the second arc.
Burying Dirt
Chapter Twenty: Regroup
Sarah saw Chuck look at his hand. Near hers.
Distances telescoped into distance, moments into a moment.
Her heart into her heart.
Moved it away. His hand. From hers. To the keyboard.
Ellie's sobs. Devon stroking her hair.
Chuck glanced toward Ellie, his eyes full of pain. Blinked it back.
Ellie's face buried in Devon's shoulder. Morgan lost, uncertain, feet shuffling, eyes shifting — Ellie and Devon, Chuck and Sarah.
Chuck considered Sarah, a long look. Measured. Intent. His eyes shifted down for a second to her hand, still on the table. Shifted up.
Lips pressed together, sealed. Imprisoned speech.
A glance at the computer screen. Sarah followed Chuck's eyes. Open tabs, different sizes. An assortment of documents, photographs. Puzzle pieces.
Later, a moment. Spoke. Did not turn to her. "You didn't know that Sandwall was more…That it was not just that mission, Osgood?"
Sarah shook her head. "No, in fact...Graham never used it, the codename. Osgood mentioned it, once, in passing. I just assumed it was for our mission, a one-off mission…" Sarah heard her own phrase and winced. Glanced around the room. "Sorry...I just thought the mission was only about the target."
Ellie had lifted her head. Was following. "Chuck, what was Omaha? What were Mom and Dad doing? What got them…got them...murdered?" Flick. Ellie's eyes, Sarah.
Chuck stood. Sarah and Ellie. Between them.
"El, I haven't figured every detail out, but...Omaha was a project, intended to produce...superspies. Using computers — AI, actually...supplemented with drugs…"
"Wait, like MKUltra?!" Ellie wiped her eyes. Disbelief.
Chuck shrugged. Unsure. "Sort of. The basic idea was Dad's, I think. It's what caused the CIA to send Mom to him."
"Wait," Devon, "Your Mom was a spy?"
"Mrs. B? Mary?" Morgan added. "Like Natasha Fatale? So, was Mr. B Boris Badenov?"
Frowning. Chuck. "No, Morgan, not like that. — Yes, Mom was a spy. No, Dad was not a spy. But he was, technically, a CIA scientist."
"But you said they were in Moscow…" Morgan, still befuddled.
Chuck shifted attention from Morgan to Ellie. "The enhancements were to be downloaded into the brain of the spy. The drugs, some witches brew of hallucinogens and who knows what else, I can't find any document with the...full recipe...The brew was to 'open' the mind, better to enable the downloading, to allow the downloading to be more permanent, deeper, to prepare the mind for what was downloaded…"
"And Dad did this?" Ellie's voice was shaky.
"Yes, eventually. Initially, it looks like he balked, Sis. He thought the program failed, declared it a failure, submitted his resignation. Another scientist was brought in, a woman. She brought the drugs with her. Graham somehow forced Dad to stay on. Mom stayed too.
Chuck paused. "Putting this together...I mean...I could be getting it wrong, but this is how the pieces seem to fit. The downloading, before the drugs, didn't work. The subjects could download the enhancements, but they didn't last. A few minutes, in rare cases, maybe a few hours. But the drugs allowed for the enhancements to be permanent, or at least to last much longer.
"The problem was that the combination of enhancements and drugs resulted in each subject...losing it. Going crazy. Becoming deadly. Most died a few days after the download. The few who survived became...monsters. They were...put down."
Ellie's eyes on Sarah, despite Chuck between them.
"Only this...Tina Justice...managed the download and drugs, and managed to hold it together, sort of, but she ran. Mom and Dad escaped at the same time. A few others who were part of the project too. Maybe Mom and Dad were helped by Justice or helped her.
"Graham had gone way, way past anything he could justify; he was way, way off-the-books. I assume he was pursuing the forgiveness rather than permission strategy, figuring a spectacular result would be the end that justified his means. But he had no result, and he needed it all to go away, forever.
"So, Sandwall. He sealed the underground labs and sent assassins...to terminate the escapees. It took some time, but Sandwall...cut...all the links to Omaha and then Graham eliminated everyone involved in Sandwall.
"Except her." Ellie, a sidestep. Her finger aimed at Sarah.
Met Ellie's eyes. "I don't understand it, Ellie. Why he involved me then let me live. But...he must have changed his mind, because I found out — from that man they found on the stairs in the hospital, his name was Ryker — I found out that Graham burned me."
Chuck turned quickly.
Ellie dropped her finger. Replaced it with a glare. "What's that mean?"
"That I was done. Out. Fired. But worse. He may have marked me for termination. In fact, I now think that was his plan all along. Use me to...end...the threat of Omaha's resurrection, and then break the last link to Sandwall."
Dropped her eyes. Everyone staring at her. End. End Chuck. Graham sent me. I pulled the trigger.
Mausoleum.
"Folks," Devon, "let's get some sleep. We've all been up all night and it's been...emotional. We'll think better if we manage even a few hours of sleep. Are we safe here, Sarah?"
"Yes, I think so. And you are right. We need to rest. We can figure out where to go from here after we sleep."
Ellie finally stopped staring at Sarah. Glanced at Devon. "Okay, so why don't you men sleep out here? Sarah and I can take the bedroom. I saw some blankets in that little closet in the hallway. They're threadbare but clean. None of us will be comfortable" — a glance at Sarah — "but we're so tired that won't matter much. Probably."
Everyone nodded.
No one spoke. Tension in the apartment like an odor. And pizza.
Chuck sat, shut the computer. Rubbed his eyes. Sarah started. Stopped. To reach for him.
Want, need.
Between them, so much and so little. Time and space and love.
Sarah left him, no words. To the bedroom with Ellie, struggling to hold her head up. Felt it sinking into her empty chest.
ooOoo
Awake.
Incoming waves of pain and regret and defeat. Sarah fought the undertow.
Warm, though. Very warm.
Ellie on the end of the bed. Perched. Staring. Bird of prey.
Indictment.
"I don't get it."
Sarah pushed herself back. The stained, paint-chipped headboard. "What?'
"How a person can do...what you do. A person. Are you a person, Sarah, or are you something else...I don't know...some kind of machine?…"
T-800, Terminator. Cyborg.
Looked down, away from Ellie's too-penetrating gaze. Noticed an extra blanket, picked up its edge.
"Chuck."
"Huh?"
"In the night, my fool brother snuck in and put that on you, extra. And he's been out there without any blanket. My brother...believes you're a person, still...but…"
Tears in sandy eyes. Chuck. Wiped and rubbed them all at once.
"Well, Sarah, are you a person?"
"I'm trying to be. But for a long time, no. Not in the sense you mean, where being a person is a...a kind of achievement. I've just been a person in...in...the lowest sense."
"How did you get here? You can't have just decided one day as a kid that you would grow up and terminate people…"
"No, I didn't." Sat up straighter. "My childhood was...abnormal...my life. But I know now, I'm beginning to know now, that I'd had enough. More than enough. I had...wanted out all along but I hid that fact from myself.
"But recently, I must've failed to hide it from Graham. I don't think he burned me, ordered me dead, simply because I was a link to Sandwall. I've been a link for a long time. He must have sensed a change in me, and that change made him worry about what I knew. Before, he wasn't worried. He thought I was his...robot...he...owned me."
Ellie pursed her lips and looked away. "Chuck's surgeon. He said that shot was a miracle. Chuck told me you said you...shifted your aim...shot him there on purpose. But, shit, Sarah," Ellie's voice grew in intensity, "why shoot him at all? If you'd changed your mind?"
"I don't...Look, Ellie, have you ever been driving and realized you'd missed your turn?"
Ellie nodded, her face puzzled. "Sure…"
"But you were moving too fast to make the turn in time, so you took the next turn instead, once you'd slowed down?"
"Yeah…"
"On that roof, I was going in the direction I had always gone, going at speed, and then I changed...saw your brother, he smiled in my scope," Sarah drifted into the memory, saw Ellie's reaction, left it, "...and I changed direction, but it was too late to take the turn. My whole life was...barreling in one direction and it took time to...redirect it. I pulled the trigger but changed my aim."
Ellie stared. Stared. Shook her head, Ellie did, like chasing away the vestiges of a nightmare. "I still don't get it. — But I guess we're...stuck with you. We need you. Chuck needs you. — What are we going to do, Sarah?"
"Get showers, get dressed, eat. Then we'll face all this. Together."
"The guys have showered. You go, Sarah," Ellie gestured at the closed bedroom door. "I need a minute."
Sarah stood.
Surprised.
Rested. Unwobbly.
Pain, regret, and defeat. Receded. The tide. Gone out.
Outside, bright sun, light through the curtain's edges.
I am not a machine. Not Nobody — somebody.
Somebody with an extra blanket.
She would save Chuck, save Ellie, Devon, and Morgan.
Save them.
Or die trying.
A/N: End of the second arc, Lying Promises.
Tune in next time for the first chapter of the third and final arc, In the Cool Tombs.
I managed time to write this week but I am not sure how things will go for the next week or two. New, unexpected projects. Don't look for quite-so-regular updates.
Thoughts?