Note: Any references that this story makes aside from the universe that this takes place in belongs to their respective owners and should be as such.

Warning: Language, Violence, Sexual Themes

Ch.20: Inner Epiphany part 1

"Mom?!"

"Steven?"

Steven didn't know why he was so surprised to see his mom, Rose/Pink Diamond in this place? He already talked with her many times before in her room, even when he "confronted" her about his existence being that of a scapegoat for her mistakes. Other than that it strangely didn't feel the same as before. It was as if-

"Oh my gosh it is you! Steven, you've grown so much."

Rose lowered herself to Steven's level, grabbed his shoulders, and brought him into a loving hug. Wait a sec? This presence she's giving off...it feels as if she was..real. Her smell, her warmth, it couldn't be. This is a place where Steven was able to create whatever he wanted when he was here...right?

Actually it wasn't just Rose that felt like this. This entire plain felt more alive than he thought it was before. Steven couldn't complain...however.

"...You're the real Pink Diamond aren't you, not just a fiction created by your room?"

Suddenly Rose became quiet for a few seconds. Moving her head back Rose wanted to look her son in the eye.

"Yes, if you remember we met once back o-"

"Back on Homeworld when White Diamond took out my gem years ago? I know...I wished we talked more for real back then."

"*Sniff* Me to."

They both got back into eachother's embrace. The tears that rolled down from their faces felt so warm. This one chance in a lifetime, to actually hug his mother made Steven feel so alive and complete just as much as when he reconnected with himself. From that day his own personal truth was set in stone thanks to the events that happened. He is who is he is, Steven Universe.

Haah now that the reflection is done let's get back onto now. Steven opened his eyes and wiped his tears away, hoping to never let go but...he had something that he had to do.

"Mom...I already know where I am now and we both saw how this is going to end."

Without saying a word Rose let Steven go. He was right though, she knew how this was going to end as well. In fact the moment they both hugged the first time they saw a rapid sequence of images at the same time.

"We are in our soul."

Steven and Rose were synched when they let the words spill from their mouths.

"It's kind of funny mom. I noticed that when I looked at my stomach and then yours, we both didn't have the gem we possessed on our very being. But if we looked up?"

Steven was right again, he nor Rose had their gem on the stomach area that it usually would be. But when Steven tilted his head up there was a large pink Diamond floating up in the sky.

"There, our gem up there."

"It is...So you figured it out, about the problem?"

"Yeah, about the resistance part and it all points to you."

Rose remained silent as Steven continued. This almost felt exactly like the confrontation...except with less emotions getting out of hand.

"Now I'm no psychiatrist but from what I'm feeling from you (since we are bonded by soul) is held back rage, guilt, and fear."

Steven started to take off his jacket and settled it on the pink ground.

"You kept all your dirty baggage and true emotions inside you from everyone that the resistance is keeping our power from reaching it's full potential. Hmm what's a good analogy for that?...Ah a tea pot kettle stuffed with hot air that is about to explode if it's lid is not released."

"Sooo I need to blow out the steam from my head?"

"No no nothing like that. Since you haven't had that much of a heart to heart conversation with anyone how about we deal with your issues here, not by the normal standards of course."

Rose thought about it for a sec until some flashbacks in Steven's life appeared before her. She should know, she has seen the memories in her dreams. They were the ones from Steven's different encounters with his past enemies to Spinel, what he's great at specifically.

"Y-You can't be serious, are you?"

"Sure why not? I know you're kind of scared after what you did to Volleyball, being the cause of Homeworld breaking in half, even forming the Crystal Gems and fighting your family. Besides therapy is a great stress reliever and since we are here we can go all out...if push comes to shove that is."

"But...that was only necessary for the violent gems like Rubies."

"I know. But it wasn't just for the Rubies to have physical brawl therapy. There were others that I was able to help when I was a temporary Gem therapist at one time. Didn't go well which is why I said temporary."

Steven's suggestion made Rose a little uncomfortable. Not only cause he's her son obviously but the fact he was able to give the Homeworld Gems that kind of therapy and succeed was very scary. His face even says "I got used to it...fast."

"I don't know if I can do that Steven...I just don't know. We can still talk can't w-"

"Mom I know you. If we were to talk you wouldn't be 100% honest with me. I mean you fooled all the members of the Crystal Gems despite having great interactions with them for like what, thousands of years? Look how about this. If talking doesn't work we go with the other option A, deal?"

Extending out his arm Steven waited for Rose to take his hand and shake. Though very hesitant Rose took the deal anyway.

"Great but first...Show me your true self."

Steven saw that Rose was visibly shaking and she avoided eye contact with him. It was clear that what he just suggested was even more painful than going through the talking option. Understandable since she changed to what she is so her past could just blow over and start a new one on Earth.

Unfortunately that wasn't how it's going to be. Rose's past is what's holding her and Steven's true potential back from fruition. This is the time to break those shackles...but not without help. Steven held his mother's hands, gently caressing them to try and calm her down.

"I know how scary it is to do this. If I was in your shoes, I would be scared as well. If you don't want to, fine. Just take this first step to end this once and for all."

To abandon her old self, to abandon those who were considered family back on Homeworld when she understood the concept better thanks to Greg was the most painful decision she has done. Rose was so tired of hiding and fighting her fate of being a destroyer like the other Diamonds. But at this point this weakness, cowering shit had to stop right here, right now.

So with some calm breathing Rose stepped back 5 times, just to have a little space.

"Alright...Let's do it Steven, my son."

A pink, bright light enveloped Rose's body. What a great sign that she was willing to do this, especially when her shape immediately changed to a slightly taller, more slender form. Upon completion a powerful shockwave caused by Rose herself made the ground beneath Steven's feet to rise and fall like waves of the ocean in constant motion.

It settled thank goodness cause Steven was barely able to hold his footing. In front of him was the form of his mother that he expected. The form she tossed aside years ago, her true self, Pink Diamond.

For a second there Steven was both scared and infactuated by her. He's seen her once before while going through Pearl's memory for his phone but seeing her like this now was waaaaay different. His cheeks started to blush pink until he suddenly smacked himself across the face with an open palm, forcing his gaze away from her.

"(Eww, gross Steven! That's your mom you almost got infactuated by, this isn't Alabama!)"

The disgusting shame and the incestual, thought filled sin crawled up Steven's back. By god how much of a degenerate was he? Then again there was that one wet dream Steven had when he accidently oh wait "accidently" let the words "mommy" escape from his lips. He was glad that no one knew of that one time thing that never happened again to his knowledge.

"(Okay you got this Universe. Yeah, nothing can break your concentratio-ooh shit!!)"

When Steven looked back at Pink Diamond she suddenly had no clothes on whatsoever. She even looks confused to why Steven had a nosebleed...that is until she looked down at herself. Blushing pink (no pun intended) Pink Diamond made a quick shout while covering her exposed body.

"What the heck?!"

"That's the same question I was going to ask! Why are you naked?! Shit, my nose."

"I didn't even touch myself, where did my clothes g-..."

Pink was able to put two and two together faster than Steven could process. When she did she gave Steven a look of both disgust and disappointment.

"You are just like your perverted father."

For some reason those words physicaly pierced Steven through his chest. Now the weight of his shame caused him to lie on the ground in a fetal position.

"Although..."

A light pink blush creeped across Pink Diamond's face out of flattery.

"Although it is kind of flattering considering Greg knew how to have oodles of creative fun."

"...Should I be worried?"

Before Pink could respond she snapped her fingers, re-materializing her clothing where they belonged.

"Not really, he was just very imaginative when we were in the act. He made great use of my shapeshifting capabilities."

"I don't want to know. Anyway pushing that aside, you ready?"

With just a thought Steven created some reading glasses and a notepad with a sharpened pencil. Also two pieces of furniture poofed into existence as well, one a red arm chair and a comfy couch of the same color.

Meanwhile outside the Diamonds were trying to hold back the rampaged Steven from causing a mass catastrophe. This was proven to be one hell of a task even with all three of them putting in the effort from three different sides.

"Keep holding on ladies!"

"I just want to say White, who's bright idea was it that using the Gravity Atom Diamond Combo would be the best way to hold him down?!"

Blue rose her right hand while struggling to be in sync with the others.

"It was me Yellow, remember? We rrgh wanted to use something that won't hurt Steven as much."

"Damnit Blue, don't break concentration!"

"Ah right!"

To briefly explain the technique, the three diamonds are positioned as follows, two across and one behind with the target being at the center. All three then create a dome made up of their own overwhelming energies to dramatically change gravity in which they can increase or decrease while in sync.

One of the many combination techniques they developed over the years since Great Diamond Blast was the only original attack they could use. Unfortunately despite the amount of power they were exerting Steven was still trying to get to his feet, snarling and roaring like a beast as more crystals grew from his head and his skin slowly turned to a dark shade of purple.

"How is he rrgh crap so powerful? Pink has never displayed this kind of power in her life yet...why?!"

"I agree with rrrgh Yellow. How is that kind of power possible?"

Yellow Diamond saw across from her that White was biting her bottom lip. It was as if she was guilty of doing something. She was not that good at hiding things anyway.

"White? White you know something don't you?"

White kept silent but she looked like she was gonna pop (metaphorically).

"White!!"

"Okay okay!...Listen, there's mmmrrgh something you both should know about Pink that you never knew way before her ahem 'shattering' per say."

Yellow and Blue waited patiently for the older, responsible one to explain what they possibly couldn't have known about Pink. White must be off her rocks or something, how could there be anything they didn't know about Pink? All three loved her to death. In fact if anything happened to her then the entire galaxy would be ravaged by a huge, devastating war over a prick. They all spent their eons trying to nurture her although it didn't work as well as they expected.

Anyway just what could possibly be the "secret" that only White knows? Man she's gonna look so stupid when she says something that they already kne-

"Pink was stronger than all of us combined."

...Eh? Was that suppossed to be the secret?

"Well duh, at this very moment Steven has shown that his rrrah power to influence our souls rivals the three of us White, you're not making any sense!"

"Yellow, let her explain. Now I'm sure there is some meaning to what she said."

"Thank you Blue. What I mean is that her power was not what you think it was...I should know I witnessed it myself."

Yellow rose her brow in confusion. Is that suppossed to be a hint or something?

"What do you mean?"

"...It was back when Pink wanted her own colony and she talked to each of you about her chance to conquer a planet."

The talking part didn't work all that much unfortunately. Pink kept avoiding some of the questions Steven has been dishing out until he brought up the day he saw the memory of Pink having the argument with Yellow. At that point he saw her mother's eyes change for the first time. They reminded him of when Spinel relasped into pure madness at the climax (caused by Steven himself).

That was a few minutes after they started talking. Right now Steven was dodging random giant sized objects that were being thrown at him by Pink. Very un-motherly like but this is what Steven thought would happen when he dug into the painful part of her past and confront her more and more to that subject, trying to get the answers he wanted.

Strangest thing was that Steven learned pretty quickly that Pink is very loose lipped (pervert) when her emotions are how do they say, unhinged.

"Of course I get it mom! A kid who saw something very cool that their relatives has done that inspired you to want to do the same? Of course they would want to do it t- woah shit!"

Steven quickly rolled out of the way as a giant, old looking, leathery shoe broke through the clouds, creating a big hole, falling downward into the abyss of whatever it leads to below. Immediately a giant sized chocolate bar flew towards him. This time he unleashed his aura and caught it, throwing it off to the side.

"Yellow, Blue, and White. They all had the power, authority, and wisdom that I loved about them! I wanted to be just like them!"

Through gritted teeth the angered Pink threw a recently formed giant donut towards Steven who brought out his shield just in time. It was quite heavy but a little strain he deflected the hard pastry as it flew off into the distance and poofed into a puff of pink smoke. Good to know that his powers still work.

"But just because you loved all the things about them it doesn't mean you had to be like them when you literally had no experience and knowledge of the system they have done for eons."

"I didn't care! I wanted them to see me as their equal! I mean look at me, I'm smaller than them for fuck's sake!"

One down for the count. So Pink was kind of insecure and ticked about her height. The other Diamonds were bigger than her yet why was she born smaller than them?

"So fricken what?! Even if you are short your power says otherwise. I didn't even expect you to be this powerful in the first place. Hell, when you changed back to your original form I got dizzy for only a few seconds. That is so cool you know!"

"I never asked for that power in the first place! It's a curse and I hated ever since I discovered it!"

"Wait...discovered? Mom what do you mean b- Woah, woah, woah put the monkey down!"

"So she ran off to you after trying to ask us for a planet she could conquer as her own?"

"Yes...When she came to my chambers she looked visibly stressed and upset. Her Pearl at the time was barely able to calm her down. So I just indulged her in saying what she wanted to say."

Quickly noticing that Steven was still almost to his feet despite the Diamonds using their output of a little past the halfway mark of their full power.

"Oh no, we need to increase the output."

All three of the Diamonds clenched the air, shrinking the dome slightly and increasing the gravity. Normally it wouldn't take this much power when they tested it. But it did force Steven's body to slam against the ground, cracking it.

"Don't rrrgh shit stop there White, I'm not letting you avoid this subject so spill it!"

"...Alright. Pink then begged me for the chance when she couldn't get it from you two..."

White really looked emotionally strained just from talking about this. Then again she was still learning to handle speaking about painful memories. If she had blood then it would've been gushing from how hard she was biting her bottom lip.

"I-I-I laughed at her and said that she was nowhere near developed enough to do something so advanced, she wouldn't be able to run a farm let alone a planet."

"White!"

"I know Blue! I should've let her down the ahem "nice way" but I didn't...That was when it happened."

"It?...(!) no, you don't mean that? The Splitting!"

By the look on White's face Yellow was right on the mark.

"On that day I've never seen such anger ever produced from a single being in my life. Those eyes still haunted me til this day. That blood curdling scream...ended up with her slamming her fist into the ground. She-"

It was a lucky time for Steven since he was pretty worn out that he and Pink were lying on their backs next to eachother. He gotta say that was worth it in a sense of getting some stuff out of his mom. She looked like she was getting some of the weight off her back.

"I should've realised it sooner that I was way over my head. Maybe just maybe I wouldn't need to pretend to be someone else for all those years."

"You read my mind mom. But you still need to explain to me what happened after you spoke with White. Earlier you said that your power is a 'curse' when you discovered it. What did you mean?"

Steven turned his head to his mom, she was crying.

"I was so mad...so so mad. I was literally done with everything that I wanted to destroy everything. All I saw was red and nothing else. The next thing I knew I screamed and felt my fist collide into something hard."

"...So it wasn't White who caused that catastrophic damage to Homeworld."

"No it wasn't...I-"

"-was the one who broke Homeworld in half."

End of Ch.20