IF YOU WANT ME YOU CAN HAVE ME-PART 19

Hello all. I'm really glad that a small, but close to my heart group of you are still following the story. As you may recall in the last chapter Charles found out about the necessity of him being present in London, during the London season. Now he has to find a way to tell that to Elsie, which may not be an easy thing to do, because as we all know she is releasing that Scottish dragon in herself from time to time ;-) Thanks for all the reviews and everything I got from you so far.

Charles felt like his whole world falls apart. He was sad, angry and confused at the same time. That was the first serious collision of his work and his personal life. He suspected that one day he will have to face it, but he had never suspected that it will take place in the first day after his honeymoon. All his life so far was devoted to serving this family, to fulfill all their needs and desires, especially His Lordship, who he considered as his commander and his favorite-Lady Mary. He never had any problems with that. With a stoic calm he bore all their wishes, every commands, even the silliest one. It was not his place to discuss about it. He was the one who would make their life easy and make sure that everything was on it's place.

That how it was so far, but he was not the lonely island anymore, the captain of his own ship. He was a married man now and he must acknowledge not only his own needs, but his wife as well. He was really worried how to give this message to Elsie. He sensed that she won't be happy about it. Especially when she will discover that his presence in London was Lady Mary's wish. Although he didn't talk about it often, he was fully aware of Elsie's aversion towards Lady Mary. She admitted being jealous about the girl few times. Her sarcastic "blessed Lady Mary" spoke for itself. At the moment he had no idea how to handle this situation and what was even worse, he had a feeling that it will not change soon. He was also aware that he needs to tell her that as soon as possible, even though they were meant to go to London for three weeks from now. Charles suddenly found himself in a very dark place and he knew that getting out of this place won't be easy...

Tea time, later that day...

Elsie entered Charles's pantry with a teapot and two cups. When he saw her, his face has brightened up immediately.

"Hello my lovely. How nice of you to bring me tea. I almost forgot about the tea time today."

"I can see that. Fortunately your wife doesn't forget your needs."

"Thank you Elsie. How is your day going?"

"Smoother than I've imagined. I manage to get through most of my arrears by now, so it's not that bad. Mr Molseley mentioned that Lord Grantham had a talk with you in your pantry. Is there something wrong? Anything I should know about?"

"Hmmm...Err...Well he told me about something that I wasn't expecting, but we can discuss it at home. No need to get into this now."

"But everything is all right? You look a bit worried. I can see that in your eyes Charles."

"How well you know me Elsie. Sometimes it amazes me..You know me better than I know myself.."

"Don't forget that I observed you for more than twenty years now Mr Carson. So after such a long time it's not really difficult to predict your reactions to things."

"Oh and you are quite an observer. That is something I need to remember always, now that you are my wife. But about that thing, we can really discuss it in the evening, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't. Whatever that is we can face it together. Well, I have to get back. Still need to discuss some food reserves with Mrs Patmore and that won't be easy, it is never easy. Is it very improper to ask my husband for a kiss, to be able to get through the rest of the day?"

"Highly improper Mrs Hughes, but as you may still recall I like you when you are improper..In fact I like you that way very much.."

"Mmmm...I will remember that Mr Carson and will embody this into action when we are alone.."

"Can't wait for that my dearest wife..."

They embraced each other tightly and their lips connected in a soft and gentle kiss. Very peaceful but in the same time very sensual...

"Charles..." Elsie whispered softly as she ran her finger through his chin..."I miss you already.."

Charles whispered into her ear:

"My little sweetheart...You have no idea how I miss you..If we could only...But there is still some hours left until we finish..You know what I would like to do to you now? I would like to..."

"Mr Carson, Mr Carson...Are you in your pantry?" Their lovely moment was unpleasantly interrupted by Mr Molseley's voice in the hall.

"Here we go again. Back to reality I'm afraid...See you at dinner Charles..."

"See you then Elsie...I love you.."

"I love you too hon.."

Elsie left her husband's pantry letting Charles do his duties, while she had to deal with hers.

Evening-Carson's love nest...

Charles just finished lighting a fire and Elsie went back from the kitchen, when she was cleaning up after a little bed time snack that they were having. She sat comfortably on the sofa, with a warm smile, her eyes were full of love, when she gazed at her husband. Charles felt that his heart clenched, when he looked at the face that he loved so much. How is he going to tell her that? How will she react? Hesitating, he sat near her, taking her hand into his, he lifted it and kissed a pad of all her fingers gently.

"What's that for?"

"For being my beloved wife and the most precious woman in the world"

"My, my! What a testimonial from Charles Carson..." Elsie smiled to her husband warmly-"So can you tell me what did you talk about with His Lordship today?"

Charles sighed heavily, hearing the question. He knew that the moment arrived. No turning back now...

"His Lordship came to ask me if I can accompany the family during their London stay in three weeks"

"In three weeks? You mean during the season?"

"Yes. During the season. They want me to stay with them in London."

"You are to stay there for a month* with them? Without me?! You are to leave me here?! We are to give up our trip to Scarborough, even though His Lordship promised us that before?! Is that what you are trying to tell me now?" Elsie's rage was developing more and more, with each word.

"Elsie..sweetie..Please calm down...I know it looks worse than it really is, but believe me..."

"Worse Charles? Worse? Abandoning your wife one month after you get married is just something that looks worse?! I'm sure I have a better term to describe this situation!"

"Elsie...You know how it is. I was always with the family during the London Season. You know that. It was His Lordship good will to spare me the season this year, he didn't have to do it.."

"What did he spare you? You are to go, as usual, he has no consideration to the fact that you are married now. He promised that we can go away together and he broke that promise! That isn't something that I would have expected from His Lordship. I thought that he was a man of honor!"

"He is Elsie...He apologized to me and promised that we will get three weeks off to go to Scarborough, when the season will end. He also offered to cover all the trip expenses. Now how many employers would do such thing?"

"Then it makes no sense at all. Since he let's us have our trip, as he promised before, why all the sudden he is turning everything upside down? There is more to it here, am I right? You didn't tell me everything Charles!"

"Well, you see...This time it's not only a trip for fun, as it usually was, they wish to combine it with some business opportunities, to help the estate, so Mr Branson and Lady Mary could..."

"I knew it! I could have seen it! The precious Lady Mary! I knew she was behind it somehow! That girl has got no shame!"

"Elsie..please..let me.."

"No Elsie please here Charles! She always did that to me! Whether she wanted to take you away from me when she was going to Haxby, whether she took your time to cry on your shoulder. She always managed to take your attention from me!"

"Elsie, you are not being fair, you know that.."

"I'm not being fair? Is that so Charles? Does she realize that we are married now? Does she know what the institution of marriage means? God knows she should have, after two marriages and everything between..."

"Between? What do you mean Elsie?"

"Doesn't matter what I mean. You would have been surprised if you had known a thing or two about your precious Lady Mary!"

"Elsie, I know that you are sad and disappointed. As I am..But this is how our job is, you know that better than anyone else does. We are in this together.."

"No Charles! I know our job and our duties, but I also know that this is just a sudden caprice of this uppity minx, that's what it is!"

"Elsie, I..."

"No more Charles! No more! I'm going upstairs now, to our bedroom and I do not wish to see you in there tonight!"

Elsie stormed out of the room, almost running up the stairs. The loud banging of the door was the last sound that Charles heard before it was quiet. Charles shrank himself on the sofa. It was worse than he thought. Elsie was really furious with him and he shivered at the thought what would have happened if she faced Lady Mary at the moment. He felt torn. Lady Mary was a very important person in his life, for many years, but now everything has changed. He loved Elsie with all his heart, he could have not imagined her life without her. The very thought of parting with, her for a month was horrid. But what could he do? Refuse and loose his job? The Crawleys were an understanding family, but as Lady Mary once said: "Even they want to get what they paid for". Grappling with all those thoughts, he heard the quiet sobs, coming from the upstairs bedroom. He knew now that Elsie was crying and he couldn't have let that happened. Even though she told him that she doesn't want to see him, he knew that he has to go to her now. Stomping on the stairs quietly, he entered the room to find Elsie curled in their bed, sobbing uncontrollably. This sight has ripped his heart.

"Elsie. My love.."

"Go away Charles! I don't want to talk to you! Leave me alone!"

"I will not leave you alone, you stubborn, Scottish woman!"

Saying those words, he neared the bed and lied down, next to her.

"I don't want you here! And I'm not stubborn!"

"Oh yes you are...You don't even know how stubborn you are...Elsie...Sweetheart..Please don't cry...That breaks my heart..."

"You have no heart."

"Really? That's possible. One fierce, Scottish housekeeper took my heart many years ago, on the day that she arrived to Downton and I don't recall to gave it back to me.."

"Silly, old charmer. You think you can buy me with such words?"

"No. You are not for sale. You are already taken. I think that I can convince you how much I love you..How much you mean to me.."

"Is that so? That's why you are going to spent a month in London with Lady Mary, instead of me?"

"Elsie..You know that I must. I can't disobey the family request. I can't be sacked. I have a beautiful wife, that I have to take care of now..I can't think about myself only..Besides, as much as I like Lady Mary, you are my wife. My life. My world. My everything. Don't you ever forget it.."

"Charles...I know that I maybe exaggerated a bit...But I love you so much..We waited so many years to be together and now? Apart again?"

"Only for few weeks...You won't even notice when it pass and when I come back we will visit Scarborough and we will be all to ourselves there. With nobody else around. Isn't that something to look forward to? How do you think love?"

He wiped the last tears in Elsie's eyes and touched her face reverently.

"Of course that it's something to look forward to..I want to be close to you Charles..Al the time..I know it's silly and probably improper, but I really need you..All the time.."

"It's not silly lass. It's beautiful... I need you too...If I could I wouldn't get out of this house at all, just to have you in my arms all the time.."

Charles took her in his arms and held her tightly. She buried her head in the crook of his neck, brething his scent that she loved so much...

"Just remember Charles. As soon as you will come back from London, I expect us to go on our honeymoon and if your precious Lady Mary will even try to stop that in any way, I swear that I will show her what that means to run foul of me!"

"I'm sure she will, after all, your reputation of the Scottish dragon must be known upstairs as well as downstairs by now"

Elsie giggled, punching Charles lightly at his side and he growled from the fake pain. They were both laughing loudly, which was followed by the softest and most loving kisses they could have give to one another.

That's it for today. I hope you won't totally hate it. I'm not sure if it was good enough, because my brain is rather tired after this week. Anyway, Elsie set the Scottish dragon in herself and that's good! She doesn't like Lady Mary and so do I. So we are in agreement here ;-) Poor Charles could hardly say a sentence during the fight, but that's typical for all the husbands in the world ;-) If you like this fluffiness, please let me know. Thank for everything and see you soon!

*I'm not sure how long the London season lasted, so I went with a month, but I don't know if that's true.