Paperback Writer 3.8
I round the corner and find myself facing quite the gruesome sight. The guards outside Regent's hospital room, and a few of the nurses and doctors as well, are scattered around the floor in pools of blood, their throats slashed open. In addition, there's a guy dressed in civilian clothes, with dark hair currently stained by the blood and grey matter leaking from the gunshot wound in his head. My eyes focus on the mystery girl as she ducks under a knife swipe from God. I had never seen him before, but I can now confirm that God is a slender, slightly shorter-than-average white guy with wavy black hair.
Naturally, I freeze in awe at the mere sight of him, and can only watch as Anshin'in's self-proclaimed younger sister, eyes closed, presses the barrel of her handgun into his jaw and fires, a small geyser of blood and bone erupting from his head as she does so. God drops to the ground, dead.
Oh wait, he wasn't God. That was definitely a Stranger. Who murdered a bunch of people under the effects of his power. Yikes.
The girl presses a button on her gun, causing it to fold itself up into a small box - about the size and shape of a wallet - and then walks into Regent's room.
I have a bad feeling about this, which naturally means I should charge into the room without any backup!
「Stop right there, criminal scum! Or something like that!」I shout as I burst into the room, screws at the ready - and then immediately fall over as my legs spasm in opposite directions of each other. Curse you, Regent!
"So, Gungirl, did the boss hire you to break me out or something? Cuz if he did, nice timing. Pretty sure those two were fixing to get me deported." The aforementioned Master says from the hospital bed he's been cuffed to.
Gungirl(?) shakes her head. "No. I came here to tell you something. 'Remember what you cherish.' Also, Underdog, 'don't hesitate'. That's all. Door me."
She steps through a rectangular portal as it opens, showing a clean white hallway. I try to hurl a salvo of screws at her, but they don't reach the portal before it closes, instead embedding themselves in the wall behind Regent.
"...I'm not paying to fix that wall," the captured villain deadpans. "I don't suppose you want to break me out?"
I almost say no by instinct, but then I stop myself. Regent is one of the Undersiders, and thus on a team with Tattletale - the only Thinker in town. Well, unless Coil is a Thinker; but I wouldn't be able to find him anyway, so that's a moot point, right?
And I've only got a little over a week to find and rescue Dinah.
Don't hesitate.
「Sure, why not!」I say, smashing the chain on his cuffs with a screw. Simultaneously, a screw smashes through the shock collar on my neck. Electricity courses through my body, enough to easily knock most people my age unconscious.
「Armsmaster used shock collar! It doesn't affect Underdog...」I say as I toss the thing aside. I hear a small sound as needles pop out of the inside of the thing, but it's already too far away for them to deliver their contents.
Regent stands up, fiddling with the cuff still on his wrist. "Huh. I seriously didn't expect that to work. I should try asking nicely more often."
「Eh, this was sort of a one-time thing. I actually need Tattletale's help with something, and I don't really know how else to find her.」I say with a shrug.
"Is it about changing our team name? Because I told the others when we started that people were gonna get us confused- ah, shit," he trails off as we exit into the hallway, glancing down at the corpses - who, come to think of it, actually look a lot like him.
"Man, I've got blood on my feet now. I'm taking these guys' shoes, gimme a sec," he says, crouching down next to them.
"What…" a voice says, practically a whisper, from down the hallway I came from. Ah, it looks like Vista followed me. She's wearing her visor, but her eyes are probably wide in horror - her mouth certainly is. Hm, I'm sort of standing in a hallway full of bodies right now, huh?
「Now, I know what this looks like,」I say with a calm smile. 「But they were like this when I got here. It's not my fault!」
"Underdog, what the fuck happened!? You were gone for like, two minutes!" She yells.
「Well, these two non-guards were apparently Strangers, and killed all the guards; and then that weird girl shot them both, and now the hall is full of corpses. Like I said, not my fault.」I explain, finger raised in a cliche 'exposition' pose.
"...And Regent has been uncuffed because…?"
「Regent!? Where!? The only one here is my good friend… hey Regent, what civilian name should I use for you?」I ask.
Regent takes a peek into one of the dead capes' wallets, and pulls out a drivers' license,holding it out towards me. "Who's Regent? I'm Luke Adams. See, I've got my ID right here."
"...Underdog, are you helping a villain escape custody?" Vista asks, anger rising in her voice.
「Vista! How dare you! Luke is an upstanding innocent member of society,」I reply indignantly.
"He is literally robbing corpses as we speak!" She yells.
"Nah, I'm just doing my job as an Estate Attorney, distributing the property of the deceased to their next of kin. Which is arguably me, since they're my half brothers," Luke explains calmly as he throws a blood-spattered sweatshirt on over his hospital gown.
「Oh, sorry for your loss.」
"What loss? I just got a sweet new sweatshirt and some nice shoes to wear. That's a net gain in my book," Luke says.
「But what about your half brothers?」That's a loss, you know?
"Underdog, you can't wear people. That's gross." he says with a smirk.
I give an exaggerated laugh, and we start to walk towards the exit. 「You're so funny Luke! Let me walk you to your car, buddy!」
The hall stretches far away from me. "Don't just try to walk away! You couldn't honestly think I'd believe that, right!?" Vista yells.
「Well, there goes plan A. Time for plan B!」I say, whirling around to face my fellow Ward. 「Hey Vista, wanna help me save my little sister?」
"Sure, but what does that have to do with this!?" she replies.
「Well, I figured I needed help from a Thinker, so I'm getting Rege- er, I mean Luke - to introduce me to Tattletale,」I explain.
"Underdog, we can't work with villains."
「Not with that attitude!」I say. 「But think about it, Vista! We can be Rogue Cops! Loose cannons who don't play by the rules!」
She sighs. "You know this only ends one way, right?"
「Yeah, I kinda figured. Plan C!」I shout, preparing to summon screws - and then I stop as she doubles over puking.
"The C stands for… vomit," Luke says smugly.
「Bye Vista! See you in a couple weeks! Or not, if I die!」I call out over my shoulder as we turn and start quickly walking towards the exit of the PRT hospital. Vista's power won't work while she's distracted like that, but I really don't wanna be here when she finishes, y'know?「By the way, Luke, 'vomit' doesn't start with C. Aren't attorneys supposed to be educated?」
"Well, if you turn a C sideways and make it pointier, it's a V, right?" He argues.
「Ah, good point.」
「Uh-oh...」I say as we exit the hospital. Mostly because Armsmaster is waiting there for us.
"Underdog. Stand down and report to Master-Stranger confinement. I will use force if necessary," my (now ex) boss says. "Same for you, Regent - except you go to a jail cell instead."
「...I think I'm in trouble,」I stage whisper to Regent, and then I stand straight, looking straight at Armsmaster. ...Well, if it works, don't change it, right?
「Plan C!」I yell, and then immediately begin running the opposite direction of Armsmaster.
"Like I'd let you!" the Tinker yells, and then a rocket-powered halberd in taser configuration slams into my back. I grab the offending projectile, and whirl around pointing it at him - ignoring the further electricity his anti-theft safeguard is pulsing into me.
「Hah! I may be a dark/steel-type, but my ability was actually Lightning Rod this whole time!」I taunt - and then my eyes widen as I notice the condition Armsmaster is in. 「Regent, why isn't he puking? Or tripping? Or anything, really!?」
"No can do. My power can't go through metal," Regent says with a shrug - barely recognizable, because he's pinned beneath a net.
「Really?」
"Nah, he's just got some kind of safeguard built into his suit."
Figures.
「Don't worry! We have a numbers advantage, and I have his weapon!」I say as I sidle over to cut my impromptu ally free.
A second halberd launches out of the Armscycle, and the hero catches it.
「...Man, I just can't catch a break, huh?」