Chapter Twenty One

Edward

What a fool I was! How stupid could I be? I drove away still confused and puzzled. Why on earth would Bella turn to Jasper Hale for help? She hadn't even seen him since before the 'accident'. How had she found him? Why had she sought him out? And how long had the two of them been sneaking around behind my back? Were they lovers? The very thought made me sick.

What I didn't understand was the kid, how did she fit in? Bella couldn't get pregnant again, she was a vampire and I couldn't see any human woman with one or more brain cells falling for the savage so where had she come from? Whose kid was she?

I pulled to the side of the road once I thought I was far enough from the house and turned off the engine. I could think better in the ensuing peace. The windshield slowly became opaque from falling snow and I knew the temperature was dropping sharply as night drew on but it made no difference to me.

I laid my head against the steering wheel, feeling the cool leather of the cover against my cheek which reminded me forcefully of the feel of Bella's soft hair against my cheek as we lay together. Suddenly I was back on Isle Esme with my beautiful blushing bride. Remembering our first time I smiled, it was everything I had hoped it might be but then my memories were sullied by the remembrance of the awful moment Bella told me the dreadful news that she was pregnant.

It was her fault, this was all her fault. I had been so careful. I had put aside my own needs and urges to keep her safe and she had seduced me. She had forced me to make love to her and that's when my perfect life fell apart.

That was the moment I lost her, the moment she got pregnant and in turn fell out of love with me and in love with the abomination that we had created and she carried inside her body.

How she could possibly have imagined it would be anything but a monster was beyond me. We all told her, warned her that what she was carrying would kill her but she just wouldn't listen. She'd always been stubborn but this was beyond stupidity.

Thank God for the accident that led to her aborting. Thank God I was able to save her and at the expense of the thing that her body had rejected. If only the fucking wolves hadn't intervened I could have… No, I had to get rid of the body or she would have been vindicated in her belief that it had been a baby. I had seen that much.

The memories forced themselves to the forefront of my mind. It had been perfectly formed, had a face, hands, and feet but thankfully no life. It was floppy and blue-skinned and I didn't have the time nor inclination to do anything to revive it. Better bury it and be done with the whole tragic incident.

The memory of that night was still vivid in my mind, although I rarely thought about it these days unless forced to by Bella and her incessant harping on about it. It was over. Why couldn't you forget about it and begin to love again Bella? After all, I was the one with the memories, not you.

I could feel the slippery body, the loathsome sensation before I dumped it into a blanket. It was warm but then it would be, it had leached all the goodness from its mother's body. I could hear a faint sound that could have been a baby's heartbeat but I chose to put it down to Bella. Her own heart was stuttering and close to shutting down. All I wanted to do was to get the creature as far from Bella as possible and the garage seemed as good a place as any until I had Bella stabilized. Then I would have time to focus on disposing of it. I planned to take it down to the lake and either bury it or throw it in.

Yes, I was shocked when I went back outside and found the body missing but the stink of wolf told me all I need to know. Jacob Black had obviously been snooping around. He must have heard something or he was looking for information about Bella. He just couldn't accept that I'd won and he'd lost.

He must have seen the body and taken it away. Why I had no idea, nor did I care. He'd done me a favor, saved me a job I was not looking forward too. Of course, it was inconvenient when Esme and Carlisle turned up unexpectedly and started asking awkward questions but I'd got around that and the guardians were helpfully silent on the subject.

They had made that cryptic comment about looking closer to home but even Carlisle wasn't fooled by that little trick. I smiled, a typical move by the dog breath pack trying to deflect suspicion from themselves. Maybe Jake had kept it from them and they truly didn't know what he had done.

If the rest of the family had been there then maybe we could have stopped him or maybe he wouldn't have come so close but then I wouldn't have been able to get rid of the creature and just possibly Carlisle would have felt duty-bound to try and revive it. Thank God I had sent them all away.

Think, think. I went through what I had seen and heard. Bella playing cozy family with Jasper Hale and a mystery human kid. Not only that but a kid who called my wife mommy. There had to be something that tied all this together and made sense of it but I couldn't see what it was. What was I missing?

More to the point, what was I going to do next? I wanted to confront Bella but not with Jasper in attendance. Would she agree to meet me? She would have to get in touch if she wanted a divorce which I was pretty sure would be her next move. I could surprise her by having papers served on her citing her adultery with my own foster brother. It might be amusing to see her face under such circumstances but did I really want everyone to know what had happened? The Volturi would no doubt find it highly amusing when they discovered I had been abandoned by the human girl I had risked my life to keep safe.

I had a perfect life and it had been snatched away from me by the woman I loved more than life itself. It wasn't fair, I didn't deserve this and I certainly wasn't going to let her get away with it scot-free.

Bella

Much as wanted to stay here and do nothing, just continue just as we were, I knew that now Edward had found me I would have to act. I knew that I would have to confront him again but I had hoped it could wait until after the festive season. His appearance here made that impossible. I had to contact him and tell him I wanted a divorce and then nothing more to do with him.

Had he worked out who Megan was? Somehow I doubted it, his ego would never allow him to think he might have been wrong about our child unless of course he knew she was still alive when he abandoned her but even so it would be a huge leap to connect the dying baby to a healthy child who appeared to be at least three or four years old.

I sat up feeling a wrench as I moved apart from Jasper and he removed his arm from around me.

"So, you've made your decision?"

I nodded, not at all surprised that he had followed my train of thought.

"I have to talk to Edward. I want a divorce and I have to find out what he knows or thinks he knows about Megan."

"And if he's worked out who she is and insists on his parental rights?"

"He won't. Trust me. I don't want that man within a mile of me or my daughter."

"Fair enough. You seem to have it all under control. Do you want me to go with you?"

I did, I needed his calm support but Megan needed one of us with her and I couldn't be selfish where she was concerned.

Again he seemed to know what I was thinking.

"I could ask Mary to come and sit with Megan if you want me there."

I was confident I could handle Edward but emotionally I was still very fragile and Jasper's support would be most welcome.

"If I arrange to meet him in Boston tomorrow would that give you time to arrange something?"

"Sure. It gives us today with Megan and I know she's itching to go outside on her sledge again. It's good to see the two of you getting so close so quickly."

I nodded smiling, "Yes it is. She's my little miracle."

Megan was up within the hour and while she and I watched cartoons over breakfast Jasper called his friend to make arrangements for the following day.

The more I thought about it, the less I liked the thought of leaving Megan. I was terrified she might just vanish and that I might never see her again.

When she went to find her boots and coat ready to go outside later Jasper told me of the arrangements he had made and again he astounded me with his thoughtfulness.

"I thought it might be better if we all went into the city. I know you don't want to be separated from Megan for too long. I booked a suite at a hotel on the outskirts and Mary will meet us there. That way once you've met with Edward we can collect Meg and do something together. Maybe ice skating or a movie? We can stay overnight and come back home the next day."

I smiled, deeply grateful, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek just as Meg came through holding a left boot in her hand. She stopped and grinned seeing us.

"See, I told you poppa likes you. I can only find one boot mommy. Can you help me find the other one?"

If I had been able to I would have blushed furiously but as it was I took her hand and withdrew hurriedly wondering what he had made of her words.

It had stopped snowing and we had a great time outdoors, first with the sledge and then making little snowmen we used as targets for our snowballs. Megan was a pretty good shot and hit her target more often than Jasper but then I realized he was deliberately missing and she shrieked in delight when I announced her the winner and handed over the candy bar I had slipped in my pocket for a treat for my little girl.

We then went for a walk in the snow-covered woods nearby. The same place from the signs we could see where Edward had hidden to spy on us.

We ducked the falls of snow from disturbed branches and I found myself falling behind to watch Megan explore her surroundings. She was overjoyed when Jasper pointed out a squirrel who had come out of his drey to look around.

"What's a drey, poppa?"

"It's what they call a squirrel's home."

"Oh. Won't he get cold poppa?"

"No, He's got a thick fur coat and he'll be going back inside soon. As soon as he's collected some nuts from his secret stash for his family."

"He's got a family?"

"Sure."

I listened, grinning as Jasper wove a story about Mr Squirrel and his family who lived in the middle of the hollowed-out tree and the squirrel Father Christmas who visited them, leaving soft leaves for them to sleep on and extra acorns to eat.

"Didn't he leave any toys for the little squirrel's poppa?"

"Of course he did. A toy horse for Sammy squirrel and a little squirrel doll dressed in red and white for Sally squirrel."

Megan was enchanted by the story and, truth be told, so was I. Jasper was such a natural with her, far more at ease than I remembered Charlie ever being with me when I was little. He seemed to have a natural rapport with her.

When she raced on ahead to explore some more I caught up with Jasper.

"Guess who's going to be telling more stories about the Squirrel family tonight."

He laughed, "Yeah, I guess I'd better start thinking of some now. You know Bella she reminds me a lot of you."

"Me? How?"

"Well, she's kind and gentle and very inquisitive."

I laughed, "You mean nosy don't you?"

He shrugged and as we walked on our hands brushed and instinctively our fingers entwined. Neither of us said anything but neither did we drop the hold when Megan rejoined us. I didn't know where this was going if indeed it was going anywhere, but I was tired of being alone and I was fascinated by Jasper and his link with my daughter. I wasn't ready to admit to being deeply drawn to him. I was too scared for that, just yet.