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Chapter 21

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Eddie felt confused, lost, disoriented, kind of numb... Something in his head was telling him to run, to hide. He felt scared, but he didn't quite know why. Just a general sense of unease and foreboding filled his entire being.

Where was he? Everything around him was dark, cold, wet and drippy, like he was in a cave. He shivered and let out a small breath. It was freezing, uncomfortable, and had a general feeling to it that just made him feel nervous, trapped, in danger. Was he dreaming? He didn't recognize this place. He didn't remember coming here.

Groaning, Eddie shook his head, trying to wake himself up. Richie found him, didn't he? Wasn't that what happened? Henry left him tied to a tree and Richie found him, took him inside an old house, made a fire... They laid down on a couch together and were talking... So why was he here now? In this weird cave... with torches hanging on the walls. What the hell?

Eddie shrunk down as he looked around the space, noticing more and more details. He was lying on a wooden table, with his legs and arms locked down with shackles, like a torture chamber from an old castle.

Eddie swallowed, realizing he was completely naked too. His breaths increased. This had to be a dream... But he couldn't get himself to wake up. It wasn't real... He blinked his eyes and groaned, shaking his head, trying to will himself to wake up. He didn't like it here. Even if it was just pretend, just a dream... He wanted out. He pulled on his trapped arms and legs. They felt like they were stuck in quick sand. He couldn't really move, not even a tiny bit. Not even to twist his hands or feet. It was like he was paralyzed, yet tied down anyway.

Letting out a soft whimper, Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. Even without looking, he could sense Patrick coming. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes, but he knew Patrick was there. He felt the older boy's hands on him, running all over his body - not painfully, but still unwelcome.

"Get off of me..." Eddie whimpered, opening his eyes and staring up at Patrick, who smirked silently down at him and continued feeling his hands up and down Eddie's stomach and sides, down between his legs..

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and shrunk down when he noticed Patrick was naked too, except for white gloves on his hands, like the ones Pennywise wore. He smiled and laughed as he stared down into Eddie's eyes, rubbing his hand roughly between the younger boy's legs.

"Let me go!" Eddie cried as he felt Patrick's hands grabbing and squeezing, harder and harder as the older boy panted excitedly. "Don't touch me! Stop! Please!" Eddie begged in a shaking voice that was so small he couldn't even hear it. Was he even making noise? Could Patrick even hear his pleas? He choked out a defeated sob as he realized there was nothing he could do to make Patrick stop.

"I could suck your dick." Patrick's voice echoed in his head.

"I wouldn't want to be you." Pennywise's voice echoed next. "Not when those big boys are forcing themselves on you. Forcing themselves in you."

"Forcing myself in you." Patrick repeated Pennywise's words in a low voice as he leaned down, breathing against Eddie's neck.

"Little Eddie..." Pennywise's voice continued.

"Stop." Eddie breathed weakly, shaking his head and squeezing his hands into fists. He wanted Patrick off of him, and he wanted both his and the clown's voices to shut the hell up.

Eddie still felt Patrick's hands on him, squeezing, rubbing... Eddie was on his stomach now. Patrick was prying his legs apart. Even facing down, Eddie could somehow see Patrick. A long, pointed, striped tongue spilled out of his mouth, making Eddie whimper and shake in disgust. The tongue landed on Eddie's back. He could feel drool pooling onto him, dripping down his sides.

Eddie whimpered in disgust, pulling uselessly at his arms and legs again. "Ew... Get off of me... Please..." He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut again as he couldn't help but to shiver.

"Hold still." Patrick's voice whispered.

Eddie choked out a frightened sob and squeezed his hands into fists again. He couldn't do anything else but hold still. He couldn't move. He couldn't even speak anymore. His mouth wasn't covered... but his words wouldn't come out. He felt like he was thinking things rather than saying them. He tried to beg, but he couldn't hear himself. That meant no one else could either.

"This'll feel good." Patrick's voice continued. "You like sucking on long, hard things."

Suddenly Henry was in front of him, forcing his father's gun into Eddie's mouth, just like he did yesterday.

"I could kill you, right here and now." Henry breathed, forcing the gun into Eddie's mouth and glaring down at him. Eddie noticed the older boy's finger rubbing slowly over the trigger, ready to pull it if he chose to.

Eddie choked as Henry pushed the gun over his tongue, so far into his mouth that Eddie couldn't even breathe. His chest felt so tight. His lungs felt squeezed, dry, unable to expand.

Eddie could only cry as he felt Patrick squeezing his flesh behind him, leaning heavily on him, positioning himself between Eddie's legs.

Pennywise stood in the corner behind Henry, smiling and waving. "Should have come with me, little Eddie." Pennywise laughed and shrugged.

Richie and Bill stood on either side of the clown, just staring. Not smiling. Not frowning. Their eyes were hollow.

Eddie felt a silent scream in his throat as he felt something pushing into him from behind. He couldn't see, but he somehow knew it was the handle of the hammer Henry had threatened him with before. Patrick held it now, shoving it hard into his victim as Henry shoved the gun further down his throat.

"NO!" Eddie screamed, kicking and flailing as he felt hands on his arms. "Get off of me! Stop!" He screamed.

"Eddie." Richie's urgent voice whispered. It sounded muddled, like Eddie was under water.

"Stop! Stop!" Eddie screamed, still feeling Patrick's presence, even when he could no longer see him. Now he just felt confused, like Patrick was still there, maybe... but was he? Was Henry? Was the clown? Where was he? He couldn't even see anything anymore. He didn't feel Patrick assaulting him. Obviously Henry wasn't shoving the gun down his throat, because he could scream now... And he certainly was going to.

Eddie wasn't even sure he was saying words anymore. He was just screaming, crying shaky, frantic sobs, thrashing, kicking. His arms and legs were no longer tied down. His voice was no longer stifled. He was going to fight back. "Heeelllpp!" He sobbed, swinging his fists out blindly and kicking any direction he could. "Get off of me! Stop!"

"Wake up." Richie's voice continued. Eddie could barely hear him. Was he really there? He sounded so far away.

Eddie felt hands on him still. Were they Patrick's? Henry's? Was Patrick still hurting him? It didn't feel like it... But was he? Eddie still felt kind of trapped. He could thrash around now, move his arms and legs... but he still felt too confined. He still felt hands on him, not rough, but still holding onto him when he didn't want them there. He didn't know who it was.

"NO! No!" Eddie sobbed. "Don't touch me! Stop!" He whimpered, pushing his hands against something solid and warm, kicking out violently. "Get off of me! Stop! Please!" He cried breathlessly.

"Eddie, calm down. It's me... You're safe." Richie's voice continued as hands rested firmly but gently on Eddie's shoulders. "Eds, it's me... It's me." Richie's voice continued.

Eddie felt himself shaking, his breaths short and panicked as he finally managed to open his eyes. A blurry figure stood over him - someone somewhat small, like him... Not an older boy. Not a clown... He blinked and breathed out a shaky, frightened whimper as his eyes focused on his surroundings. It was Richie... Richie was holding him. He was on the couch in the old house with the fireplace. Richie was half-sitting up, holding onto him, staring down with wide, concerned eyes.

"Richie...?" Eddie breathed, his lower lip trembling as tears pricked at his eyes.

"Yeah... It's me. You were dreaming. Whatever it was, it's not real." Richie whispered. "You're safe. You're here with me..."

Eddie felt his lip tremble as he looked down at himself. He was wearing Richie's jacket, and his own shorts. He wasn't naked. Patrick and Henry and the clown weren't here. He wasn't in the cold, drippy cave. He wasn't tied down. No one was hurting him. There was no gun, no hammer... Eddie was just with Richie. He was safe. All the horrors he'd encountered before were over now.

"You okay?" Richie whispered, putting his hand carefully against Eddie's face.

Eddie felt himself shivering as tears welled up in his eyes. He reached up, grabbing the other boy and letting him pull him up into a secure embrace.

Richie hugged him tight as Eddie sobbed.

"You're alright, Eds." Richie whispered, hugging the smaller boy tight. "Everything's okay. It's just you and me here. No one else... Nobody's gonna hurt you. I promise."

"I'm sorry, Richie..." Eddie whimpered, squeezing his arms securely around his friend. "I was so scared..."

"It's okay..." Richie breathed, putting his hand against the back of Eddie's head and running his fingers gently through his hair. "I know you were scared. You were dreaming, Eds. It's alright now..."

"I didn't mean to..." Eddie choked between sobs as he clung tightly to his friend. "I'm sorry..."

"Eddie, shhh... What are you sorry for?" Richie breathed. "You didn't do anything... It's okay."

"I'm sorry!" Eddie cried again, clinging desperately to Richie and sobbing breathlessly. He had been kicking and hitting... Richie was just trying to help him, and Eddie probably punched him for it. The one person in the world who had actually been kind and careful with him during the past day, and Eddie kicked and hit him.

"Eddie, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. You're okay." Richie assured him, rubbing his hand softly up and down over Eddie's back, resting the other on the back of the smaller boy's head. "You're safe. I'm here. Nobody's gonna hurt you. I'm the only one here with you. Everything's gonna be okay."

Eddie continued crying, grabbing the back of Richie's shirt in his hands. He was so glad Richie was here. He was so fucking glad his dream wasn't real. Patrick was the most terrifying person he'd ever met. Eddie didn't know what he was going to do when he saw the older boy later, around town... What if Patrick hurt him again later? Of course he would... Why wouldn't he? He'd probably just be waiting for his chance. Sooner or later, it would happen.

Eddie whimpered a shaking sob and hugged himself closer to Richie. He didn't know what to do... But he was glad Richie was here... For the moment, he'd be okay. Patrick wasn't here right now. Richie was... And Eddie had been kicking, hitting, screaming... He was lucky Richie didn't get mad and leave. Eddie probably hit him pretty hard while he was waking up.

"Richie, I'm sorry..." Eddie breathed again as his sobs dissolved into soft sniffles.

"Eddie, its okay... There's nothing for you to be sorry for. Why are you apologizing to me?" Richie asked again.

"Kicking, hitting... Did I hit you?" Eddie asked, pulling back and staring at his friend.

Richie laughed and shrugged as he pushed his glasses up his nose. "A little. But it's okay. You were having a nightmare. It's not your fault."

Eddie swallowed. He was still shaking. That was the worst fucking nightmare he'd ever had... And he had a lot of nightmares. For someone who was scared of basically everything, Patrick, Henry, and Pennywise were the greatest nightmare fuel imaginable.

"It's alright, Eds. I'm not mad. You didn't hit me that hard, and even if you did, that'd be okay. I know you didn't mean to." Richie promised, rubbing his hands gently up and down Eddie's arms. "You okay now?"

Looking around the house to make sure he was indeed safe - where he was supposed to be, without his bullies or the clown lingering in any corner, Eddie nodded. It was a lot brighter outside now. They must have slept for at least a few hours.

He looked back at Richie, who looked kind of exhausted. He wondered if his friend had slept at all.

"You think we could head back into town? We'll get all this sorted out and get life back to normal... I know it's kind of gonna suck at first to have to explain all this..." Richie trailed off.

Eddie nodded. "Yeah... I'm ready." He had to be. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't hide in this house with Richie forever. The longer he stayed gone, the more questions people were going to ask. They had to get back soon before this became and even bigger deal to the people of Derry.

"Good. I'll stick by you, okay? We'll stay with the lost in the woods story... You were only gone a day, so it's not too implausible. Remember, you don't have to tell anybody anything if you don't want to - but you can if you want." Richie reminded him. "If you do want to tell, just let me know. Henry came directly to my house and told me where you were. I've got a side of this story to tell too if you want to."

Eddie shook his head. "I'm not telling." He whispered. Patrick and Henry would fucking kill him - or worse...

"Alright... Lost in the woods then." Richie forced a small smile.

Eddie nodded, letting Richie pull him to his feet.

"You okay to walk and everything?" Richie frowned, looking Eddie up and down.

"Yeah." Eddie whispered.

"I think I'll just leave my bike here. Come back for it later with Bill or Stanley or somebody. We can take the road back. It'll give us a little while to settle our nerves about all this... That okay?" Richie asked.

Eddie nodded, leaning against Richie's side and letting the other boy lead the way.

They made their way down the front stairs and followed a rocky driveway overgrown with grass and weeds down the middle out to the main road. The sun felt good as it slowly started warming up the world.

Eddie closed his eyes and leaned against Richie, trusting his friend to lead them in the right direction. Walking with his eyes closed was easy, comfortable, not uncertain and scary, as he knew Richie would keep him from running into anything.

"You wanna talk about the dream?" Richie wondered. "You don't have to." He said after a moment. "But you can if you want."

"I don't want to." Eddie whispered, walking blindly next to his best friend, feeling warm and protected with Richie's arm around his shoulders. "Thanks for waking me up though."

"Yeah." Richie breathed. "You seemed really upset."

"Did I say anything?" Eddie opened his eyes and frowned as he looked up at Richie.

Richie shrugged. "You were kind of just crying..." He whispered, frowning sadly. "At the end you did... Right before you woke up. You were screaming, like 'get off of me,' and 'stop...' Maybe you were talking to me." He forced a small laugh. "I was trying to wake you up, but I might have made stuff worse for a minute... Maybe I shouldn't have grabbed you..."

"No, you didn't make things worse." Eddie disagreed. He was kind of talking to Richie when he screamed to be let go... but he didn't know it was Richie. He thought it was Patrick... and if Richie didn't wake him up when he did, the dream would have continued... Even if it wasn't real, Eddie was glad he hadn't had to suffer through more of it.

Swallowing, Eddie looked down at his feet as he walked.

"I'm sure it was really scary." Richie went on. "I wish I could have woken you up sooner... I didn't know you were having a bad dream at first... You were kinda flinching and whimpering for a minute... I didn't think to try to wake you up until you started really crying. I should have woken you up sooner."

"It's okay..." Eddie whispered. Richie didn't know the horrors the nightmare included, or when it started. He couldn't know... "It wasn't real, Richie." He noted, more to himself than anything else. "It's alright. None of it was real."

Eddie continued staring down at his feet, at his legs as they walked. He had red marks around his ankles where the tape had been. It wasn't that obvious unless he really looked, but there were definitely red lines there. He brought his hands up pulling up the sleeves of Richie's jacket and looking at his arms. His wrists were even redder than his ankles. How was he going to explain all of this.

Feeling his breaths increasing, Eddie ran his fingers softly around one of his wrists. The marks there were so much more obvious. Why had he struggled so much? He didn't even get free - and he could have. He could have just taken the tape off when he was alone. But he didn't. He didn't want Henry mad at him... So why even struggle? It was useless. Now he just had marks - evidence of what had happened... and he didn't want evidence. He wanted to hide all of this... Pretend it never happened.

"Hey..." Richie whispered. "You still alright?"

Eddie pressed his lips together and shook his head no. He felt like he was going to cry.

Richie stopped walking, grabbed his hands lightly onto Eddie's upper-arms and bent down slightly to look his friend in the eyes. "What's wrong?"

Eddie breathed in and out shaky breaths. "H-how am I going to explain this?" He breathed, looking down at his wrists. "And the welts on my back..."

"Just don't. If you don't wanna tell them, just don't." Richie nodded. "Just say you were lost in the woods. You fell down a lot. You were trying to walk in the dark, running into trees and branches, falling down, scraping yourself up... If they say the marks look like something else, just shrug and say you don't know. Keep the jacket sleeves pulled down. They might not even see."

Eddie blinked back tears and nodded, but then looked up with a short breath as he noticed a car approaching. "Oh fuck..." He breathed. He wasn't ready to talk to anyone.

"It's okay... You're alright. Just say only what you want them to know. Alright? I'll be right with you." Richie promised, reaching up and zipping Eddie's jacket up all the way. "Just keep everything covered if you don't want them to see it."

Eddie felt his breaths increasing even more as the car drew nearer. He kind of wanted to run... He legitimately felt like it might be a better alternative to just turn back around, head for the trees, and fucking run. "It's a cop car, Rich... What if it's Henry's dad? Oh my god... Oh my god..."

"Henry's dad isn't the one who hurt you... If it's him, it's him. I'll be right with you anyway." Richie repeated, rubbing his hands up and down over Eddie's arms. "You're okay... You need your inhaler?"

"No." Eddie whispered, staring as the car pulled up beside them and the driver rolled down his window. Eddie exhaled shakily when he saw it was a different cop. A younger man. That was a slight relief, but he was still nervous.

"Excuse me, boys... What's your name, son?" The man frowned as he stared with concern at Eddie.

Eddie felt his breath catch in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to answer. He felt paralyzed. He kind of wanted to lie, make up a fake name. He felt like he was going to be in trouble. It didn't make sense. He realized he hadn't done anything wrong... but he was trying to hide what really happened... He'd be lying... to the police. Wasn't that a crime?

"He's Eddie." Richie answered for him. "Kaspbrak. The missing kid... I found him in the woods."

The cop exhaled and put the car into park in the middle of the road, opening his door and stepping out.

Eddie shrunk down, staring up at the man with wide eyes. He felt like he was in trouble, like this cop was going to be mad at him for being missing. What if he lied to them and they found out? Could he go to jail for that?

"Oh man... Everyone's going to be so relieved. I can't believe this... So many kids have just vanished... but here you both are... This is miracle... Where were you? We searched the woods yesterday... Three different search parties." The cop rambled in one breath, opening his car trunk and pulling out a couple blankets. "It's almost forty degrees out here..." He noted, placing a blanket around Eddie's shoulders and handing other one to Richie. "You boys okay? You're Richard Tozier, right? Your mother is very upset too." The cop shook his head as though disappointed when he looked at Richie. "She woke up this morning and you were gone... With so many other kids going missing..." He trailed off.

Eddie looked over at Richie, who let out a nervous exhale. "She wanted us all to stop looking for the night... She wouldn't let me keep looking. I snuck out my window. I had to find him..." He breathed.

Eddie felt a small smile tugging at his lips as he realized his friends had all legitimately been looking for him, tirelessly. They were probably all so worried. It made him feel kind of guilty, but it was also kind of nice - he had friends who cared that he was gone, who noticed and worried. He wondered if any of the others were out searching right now. He bet they were. They were all so caring, so perfect.

"Let's get you both to the station." The cop smiled nervously and exhaled a breath. "I'm so happy you're both safe. This is amazing... We'll call your moms... You might need to head to the hospital first... You, definitely, Edward, but-"

"No." Eddie interrupted, shaking his head and stepping back. "I don't wanna go to the hospital..."

"They won't hurt you, son. You don't need to be scared. It's just to make sure you're alright... You look pretty scuffed up, and you were out all night in the cold. We can wait until your mom gets there..." The officer explained.

Eddie shook his head. "No. I'm not going to the doctor. I don't want to..." He whispered, wishing he didn't sound so out of breath.

The cop frowned, opening the back door and nodding. "Okay... Police station for now... We'll call your moms and go from there."

Eddie swallowed nervously and climbed into the back seat. He wanted to feel relieved, but he knew a lot of questions were coming. Difficult questions.

He smiled as he felt Richie's hand grab his own as the cop put the car into drive and started back toward town.

"I'm right here, Eds." Richie whispered, squeezing his hand lightly.

Eddie nodded, squeezing back. He was glad Richie was here with him, and he realized things couldn't possibly get any worse than they had been at Henry's house. He was safe now. The cops wouldn't hurt him. The doctors wouldn't either - if he was indeed forced to go there. He wasn't on trial here... but for some reason, he still felt like he was in trouble.

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