In any other circumstances, I would have been thrilled.

I was finally in full costume again. Mane, wild and untamed. Tail, scaled, whipping slowly behind me, coiling around nearby objects. Claws out, scales wrapped around my three middle fingers, feathers behind that up to the elbow. Handmade, untreated leather halter top, collar, horned domino mask, belt, and… regular leggings, because we got caught breaking into and looting the pet store and had to bail. What else could we do? It was the middle of the night, and Apex wasn't going to let me wait til they opened to gear up.

The spiked boots were a constant, though, rough-treaded and well-worn. Familiar. Same with the little trophy, nestled between my cleavage, a piece of him he couldn't ever deny.

And speaking of the beautiful beast, we were in very close proximity. This shuttle wasn't exactly small, but it wasn't built for a monster sixteen feet tall and twice as long including the tail, which had to wrap around my legs twice to keep from hitting anything important.

I could feel his triple heartbeat, sense every excited movement of his body, bask in the warmth of his muscles and fur pressed up against me. Almost a tender embrace. Almost.

All in all, if we hadn't been hurtling into the unknown, chasing dreams he wouldn't—or couldn't—explain to me, on a jet with no pilot, it would have been something I'd have dreamed of not too long ago.

As it was I just couldn't stop thinking about…

What the hell was he even thinking about, anyway? I looked up at his face, but he was looking out the cockpit, only a few feet away from the console full of more buttons and lights than I could count, and oh yeah, who could forget the empty pilot seat centered in front of the windshield.

Fuck, my life had gotten weird the last few months.

A screen lit up, a woman's face, smiling faintly, appearing on it. "Touchdown in ten minutes. I'm sorry I couldn't find you a larger craft, Apex, but this was the only rapid response vehicle that could carry passengers in range."

Apex turned his head towards the screen, looming over me, and hummed noncommittally, the sound rattling my bones from proximity.

The woman seemed to take that as answer enough, because her gaze shifted down towards me, smile widening. "And you must be… do you still go by Plasticine? I've had… conflicting reports."

Apex started to respond, but I elbowed him in the ribs. It felt like hitting a brick wall, but he made a faint oof sound. "Mera is fine, thank you… Dragon."

She nodded. I took advantage of the call to ask the question that had been bothering me since I first saw the futuristic jet land on the empty lot by the camp. "So why… I mean you've probably got other things to do. Apex is famous, but he isn't…"

I trailed off, gesturing vaguely, and she seemed to pick up what I was putting down. "Don't worry, Mera. I'm very good at multitasking, and the shuttle can pretty much fly itself. As for why, well." Her smile widened, and her eyes got a little twinkle in them that seemed playful and secretive at the same time. "Apex did me a favor, once. And he doesn't ask for much in return, so when I got the call, I felt it was the least I could do to redirect one of my idle craft your way."

I could feel as much as see Apex shift, his head tilting. He… did he really not…

Burnout had warned me. I shouldn't have been surprised. By any of it. Still, it made the closeness bittersweet, thinking it was only a matter of time before he…

I shook my head. I was here, it was now. Overplanning was for losers. The moment was all that mattered. That said, though, having no plan at all was disconcerting. "Do you know where we're going?"

She seemed amused by the question, her eyes flicking up to Apex's face for a moment. "Ithaca, New York."

Cool, cool. Good to know, still useless. "Do you know why, though?"

She chuckled, the sound faintly distorted, digital, like it was compressed and decompressed one time too many. Tinkers. "I thought you would know. No one told me why, just a pickup location, a dropoff point, and 'ASAP' in the request."

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, feeling Apex shift and settle around me like a living beanbag chair. Of course.

"That said, I'm sure you will figure it out once you—hmm?"

Apex hadn't just been settling—his head was turning left and right, no longer fixed on the windshield. He shuffled in place, briefly pressing me against the wall, reaching around with all four hands, looking for—

"Ah. Well, I suppose we are close enough now. Mera, you should take a seat in the chair and buckle up, it is going to get windy for a minute."

Well that was concerning. I did as I was told, and was about to ask another question when my voice was drowned out by high-pitched beeping and the sudden howl of wind as the back of the jet opened up. I craned my neck to see if we were, I don't know, being boarded by sky pirates or something, but all I saw was Apex's back, crystals glowing faintly, sky a robin's egg blue behind him.

He let out a triumphant howl and leapt, skin-flaps snapping into place between each of his limbs and his tail, catching the wind and instantly vanishing into the void.

I could only stare as the jet closed up behind him.

"I'll make sure you are reunited on the ground," Dragon reassured me, but…

Well. At least he was enjoying himself, I supposed. And with the wings I gave him.

Forget that, asshole.

"Who the fuck are you assholes?"

The woman was wide-eyed, covered in grease marks and small burns, her fingertips bleeding. She was Asian, with hair halfway down her back, and had a sort of unhealthily-skinny look about her that, combined with the circles under her eyes, made her look unhinged.

Or maybe that was the giant mechanical thing under construction beside her, a bird's nest of wires, twisted bits of metal and enough copper tubing to make me think she stripped half of the university's plumbing to put it together. At the very least the giant boiler half-disassembled behind her, anyway. The whole place stunk of hot metal, sweat, and the kind of mold and funk you got in a basement nobody had cleaned out since the seventies.

Apex took me to the nicest places.

"Hostage negotiator," Apex rumbled, taking a step forward.

"Hostage—? But I hadn't—" She scrabbled backwards, grabbing something that looked like a key fob and holding it out like a talisman. "Whatever! One step closer, motherfucker, and I'll kill you!"

He growled, low in his throat, an excited sound that made my legs weak. Took another step forward. "Don't make promises you can't keep, little one."

Little—that son of a bitch—no. No. It was fine. Fine! I had made a promise. I wasn't the jealous type, not anymore. Regardless of what else still had to be settled between us, I wasn't a liar. I could deal with him having other… partners.

The woman's eyes widened, then she threw the fob down, crawled over the half-constructed monstrosity and popped back up with a blowtorch. Cute. I was halfway back up the stairs to the basement, crouched so I could see her past Apex, but I wasn't really all that threatened, no matter how hard he'd insisted I stay behind him.

He cleared his throat, all four hands spread wide, as nonthreatening as a perfect killing machine could be. "I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to offer you a job."

Her eyes narrowed. She spat. "I don't know what kind of sick fucking joke you think this is, but I'm not—"

"You make bombs," he interrupted. Wait, what? Was that what the—jesus christ, it was the size of a car! "The best bombs." I suddenly felt less safe in this nasty basement, but Apex didn't seem to care. Then again, he wouldn't.

"You're goddamn right I do," she spat back, words this time. "When this baby is finished, it'll take out everything in a forty mile radius." She laughed, high-pitched, real mad scientist shit. A lot less safe.

Apex nodded, like she was talking about a corporate skill on her resume and not a reason to be on a terrorist watchlist. "Good. Make bombs for me."

She seemed stunned for a moment, then bared her teeth in a sneer, dismissive, disdainful. "You want to sell my babies?"

"No." He shook his head, his horns nearly scraping the low ceiling. "Make bombs for me. Hurt me. Kill me, if you can. A challenge. For both of us." The anticipation in his voice sent my stomach twisting in knots. But if it would make him happy...

This time when she eyed him, it was with a more appraising look. Calculating. She lowered the torch a fraction, started spitting out demands. "I want my record cleaned. My grades set right. A lab to work with, with real tools and materials." She bared her teeth again, this time with pure hatred and disgust. "And Professor McElroy shitcanned. And set on fire."

"Whatever you want."

My eye twitched. It was one thing to share him with someone else, but did he have to be so goddamn eager about it? I didn't remember getting this kind of pitch when I joined the crew. Hell, I wasn't even being paid. Or maybe I was. I hadn't really checked. Look, I had other things on my mind, alright? At least she didn't seem to—

Goddamnit. She was giving him a look. That slow down-up, the kind I gave him when I just wanted to admire his physique, but presumably for different reasons, coming from her. I hoped. "Anything I want to make, as long as I use it on you?"

Apex shrugged, four muscular shoulders shifting under his fur in a very distracting way. "Whatever else you do with them, I don't care. But if you're arrested again, break probation, you're useless to me."

She crossed her arms, hip cocked, like she was prepared to throw his offer back in his face. I half hoped she would. Who planned to hold an entire city hostage, anyway? At least Happy Pill, Black Goat and I were up-close-and-personal sorts of supervillains. A human touch. Bombs were… well. She was clearly fucking nuts. I just hoped she wasn't Apex's kind of nuts.

Unfortunately, after a long thirty seconds of consideration, she nodded slowly. "Meet my demands. We'll talk."

Only then did Apex acknowledge my existence, his head half-turning to look at me on the stairs. I sat up straighter. Maybe I wouldn't be completely fucking useless this trip?

"Call Kurt," he rumbled at me, practically purring in satisfaction.

Oh for fuck's sake, that was just insulting.

"Hmm," Kurt said noncommittally. I could just hear some typing over the phone, faint compared to the nearby sounds of PRT officers bustling about and the occasional rumble of the big beautiful bastard speaking to Protectorate capes. They were an eyesore, what with their silly spandex and cartoonishly bright primary colors. Wouldn't catch me dead in an outfit like that. But that was just me trying not to look at how happy Apex seemed, his fur writhing, horned head glancing over at where the crazy bitch was getting manhandled into a van by a handful of very nervous government goons.

"Very well. I will make arrangements," Kurt eventually declared.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. I bit my lip, tasting metal. Some of the Protectorate capes were looking my way, noticing the costume. Yeah, you cheesy clowns, mine is way better than yours. And then Apex turned his head my way as well, and his tail nearly knocked an officer over behind him as it swung from one side to the other. I was torn between glowering at him and trying to smile despite myself.

"...Is there anything else?"

Couldn't you have said no? Are we really going to let this mad fucking bomber join the crew just to… just because Apex...

"No," I answered.

There was a pause, and a small sigh over the line. "You are worried."

I nearly dropped the phone. "What? No. No, I'm fine. Why would I be worried?" Shit, I couldn't even fool myself with lies that transparent. But hell if I was going to show weakness in front of the personification of late stage capitalism. I tried again. "I have nothing to worry about. She probably doesn't even like metal."

"Mera," he said, shocking me a second time. I wasn't used to anyone on the crew calling me anything but that stupid name he gave me, much less him. "I brought you onto the crew for a reason. Do you remember what that was?"

How could I forget? My lips twisted into a scowl, remembering that conversation. "To make Apex happy."

"That is correct. And you aren't doing a great job of it if you're sulking like a spoiled child having to share a toy."

"Go fuck yourself," I replied automatically, only belatedly remembering he was arguably my boss. Certainly my landlord. "I'm not sulking. I'm fine! This bitch can't do—" except maybe she could "—she's not a threat to—" except I saw the way Apex looked at her "—she's just a temporary—" except her Tinkertech could keep coming up with new things while my power was…

I trailed off, sabotaged and betrayed by my own thoughts. It was stupid! I knew from the start I would accept Apex being Apex, having his fun, growing as a monster and as a person. This bullshit was beneath me.

Maybe the crazy was contagious, because Kurt actually agreed with me. "I think you are forgetting something very important, Mera. While Apex has had many partners, and has grown from them, even I can't deny you have left your mark." Damn right I had. I wrapped my fingers around the horn around my neck, careful not to squeeze it too tightly. And then Kurt had to fucking ruin it by adding, "He has never been sculpted before."

My breath caught in my throat. That's… that's not what I had done. Not to him. I had changed him, yes, but he wasn't… He shaped himself, damnit. It wasn't the same thing.

I hung up, careful not to scratch the screen with the claws of my costume. Apex looked to be finished with the Protectorate, resting on his haunches, watching the van with his newest partner as it drove away. Not even paying attention to me, even though he'd dragged me out here without any explanation or consideration, even though I'd helped him, even though I was gracious and understanding and—

He sniffed the air and turned to look my way again, head slightly tilted, and I hurried over to join him.

It was hard to be mad at him when he was this pleased with himself, his tail whipping back and forth through the cheap motel Duct Tape had arranged for us while waiting for the rest of the crew to join us. He made a racket that way, accidentally shattering the flimsy wooden desk chair, putting dents into the thin drywall, but it was a pretty minor thing next to the look he was giving me. The excited, hungry look…

The worst part was, I missed him. I didn't regret coming along, going on this 'adventure' with him, but it was fucking torture being so close to him this whole time, knowing we had never resolved our fight, knowing that I shouldn't give in, that I should insist on talking shit out with him, that I should stay strong and demand he… what? Promised to try to remember me? Not let his power make him forget me? Was there anything he could even say that would make things better? Would empty promises have made me happy?

The doubt made my resolve waver. The heat of his breath as he loomed over me while I lay down on the thin mattress, the sheer presence of his body so large, so close, only weakened it further. The hand he held out, massive, clawed, and oh so gentle as he brushed the back of my arm in silent question, not presuming, still checking in that I was as interested as he visibly was…

I broke. Took his hand, decided to live for the moment. Even if it hurt.

Him slamming me to the ground hard enough to crack my ribs hurt, too. Left me gasping for multiple reasons.

I just didn't know if it was a good kind of hurt or not.