How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful Chapter 21: The Magic of Love, an avengers fanfic

Avengers || FrostIron || How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful || FrostIron || Avengers

Title: How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful – New and Improved Avengers

Fandom: Marvel | Avengers

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Marvel Comics for the creation of some of the most awesome heroes ever. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Warnings: m/m, not Infinity War compliant, team as family, team building, fluff, PTSD, hurt/comfort, past child abuse, explicit intercourse, anal, oral, m/f, f/f

Main Pairing: Loki/Tony

Side Pairings: Hope/Darcy, Valkyrie/Sif, Rhodey/Maria/Carol, Bruce/Jane, T'Challa/Ororo, Happy/Pepper

Junior Avengers: Peter Parker | Spider-Man, Shuri, Hela Lokisdottir, Miles Morales | Kid Arachnid, Edward 'Ned' Leeds, Harley Keener

Allies: Stephen Strange | Doctor Strange, Ororo Munroe | Storm, Okoye, Heimdall, Maria Rambeau, Monica Rambeau, Virginia 'Pepper' Potts, Happy Hogan, James 'Bucky' Barnes

Summary: Post Civil War, Tony has to build a new team of Avengers. Aside from new recruits, there are also two well-known Avengers that return to Earth – with a ship full of refugees. New and more functional Avengers rise from the ashes of the old and new alliances, new friendships and even new relationships are formed. Though the biggest wild-card proves to be Loki, not entirely unexpected.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful

New and Improved Avengers

Chapter 21: The Magic of Love

Loki's heart was racing as he angrily paced the waiting room. How dare they not let him see Tony. How dare they make him wait, leave him in the unknown. He had every right to know Tony's fate-

"Will daddy be alright?"

Suddenly, Loki came to a halt and turned to look at the voice. Scared and small. Katherine sat huddled together on a couch, hugging a Pinkie Pie stuffed toy to her chest. Miss Potts knelt down beside her and gently brushed Katherine's hair out of her face before hugging her.

"Tony is very strong. Whatever happened, he's going to be alright, Kit."

When the redhead got up again, she sat down next to Katherine, hugging her close with one arm. Harley was on his sister's other side, holding her hand. He looked tense and his eyes were filled with fear. He had his other arm wrapped around Peter's waist, who was clinging onto him just as much and who seemed to very hard try not to cry. Shuri sat with Hela, hugging her. It was strange to see the children this quiet, they never were, especially not when in the same room.

The overall atmosphere was solemn. On Shuri's other side sat her brother, who was still in town after the Sokovia Accord meeting. Sharon, Hope, Darcy, Jane and Bruce were sitting in one corner together, Darcy in the middle of wrapping up Hope's arm while Jane was trying to keep Bruce calm, clinging onto his arm tightly and whispering to him. She should see a medic about it but refused, insisted on being here. Carol wasn't present, because as the acting captain she had gone to take care of reporting back to the council – with it coming together this week, they wanted immediate updates on everything involving Amora. That left James Rhodes over with Vision, close to Miss Potts and the Keeners. Rhodey himself was resting a strained arm on his leg, which had been hurt. He had it looked over first thing but refused to stay in a hospital bed.

"Brother?", asked Thor gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Come with me."

"No, I am not leaving-", snarled Loki tensely.

"You're making the children more nervous", whispered Thor, motioning at Katherine. "She is looking at the adults for strength. Seeing you this distressed is making her fear for her father's life. Please, come and take a breath of fresh air with me, aye?"

Loki's eyes were on the two siblings. Harley was bright and mischievous and loud, seeing him this solemn was heartbreaking. It reminded him of himself when Frigga had... Swallowing hard, Loki allowed Thor to lead him outside and to the balcony. Loki gripped the rails hard, taking slow, deep breaths. His eyes were fixed on the view that Tony loved so much.

"I have not seen you this... affected... in a while, brother", noted Thor.

"I'm not affected", snarled Loki irritated, not looking at the blonde. "I... was supposed to protect him. It was my first outing as an Avenger. And I failed. It irritates me to fail."

"This isn't irritation. Or failure. I have seen the way you express yourself when you have been deemed a failure. This is... personal. You are worried about Tony."

"Watch your words, Thor", warned Loki sharply.

"No, I will not. I have been done with your nonsense for a while now, Loki. I shall not watch my words so you can go on pretending that you're not growing attached."

Thor paused at that and came to lean against the rail right next to Loki, resting his elbows and underarms on them and leaning back against the rail so he was facing the inside of the mansion. Loki continued trying to ignore him, staring out at the slowly setting sun over Central Park.

"I'm not even just talking about Tony", continued Thor after a moment. "I know you have been bonding with Darcy, in your own way. You clearly adore Katherine, she most likely reminds you of Hela? I have seen you pull pranks with Harley, Peter, Shuri, Ned and Miles. The more Hela has started to adore Sif for the training she puts her through, the more your relationship to Sif has been improving too, though you are still a far reach from being friends."

Loki ground his teeth together, trying to suppress his anger as he was forced to listen to Thor. "You found a place where you feel home and you are growing attached to the people here. And I just wanted to tell you... that there is nothing wrong with that. You're allowed to have feelings. I know since you learned that father has lied to you all your life, you have been so desperate to push everyone away, you even tried to push mother away. You don't have to push people away. You're allowed to make friends, to become a part of this very glorious avenging family, brother."

Thor reached out and rested a hand on Loki's shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before he pushed himself off the rail and headed back inside, leaving Loki alone with this thoughts. The pathetic thing was that Thor was right. If someone were to harm Harley or Peter, Loki would kill that person without any regrets. The thought of them getting hurt was terrifying. And what was even more terrifying was the fact that he felt that way. This? This was a weakness. A weakness that could be used against him. This was why he had kept his children far away from Asgard, so they would be safe and so they would not be used as leverage over him. However, the point that Thor may be missing was that Loki's attachment to Tony was so much more.

"Don't take him away just yet", whispered Loki, voice hoarse and eyes closed. "This world needs him. His children need him. I... I need him. I can not be responsible for his death."

"You're not responsible for what happened, Loki."

Furrowing his brows in anger, Loki turned around to face James. He was leaning heavily against the door-frame, clearly still in pain from his leg-injury but too stubborn to lay down and give it a rest. Not until he would know of his brother's fate. Loki secretly admired the bond those two shared.

"I told him that with me, you would easily capture Amora. He relied on me and despite that, he is the one who got hurt, or maybe worse", growled Loki irritated. "Should not you, above most, loathe me for letting this happen, James?"

"Loathe is a strong word, man. I've kinda grown fond of you. You bring a lot of entertainment into this mansion", grunted Rhodey as he walked over to join him. "But no. I don't blame you for what happened. You know about the Civil War, right?"

"...Yes", grunted Loki, narrowing his eyes at Rhodey, unsure where this was going.

"What you don't know is that I got hurt. Badly hurt. Couldn't walk for weeks. May... still not be able to walk if T'Challa and Shuri hadn't helped out", continued Rhodey, arms crossed over the rail. "And Tony, he did what you're doing right now. He blamed himself for it. Thought that my safety was his responsibility. That he... should have prevented it. If he hadn't brought me to Germany. If he hadn't gotten me into the Avengers. If he hadn't made me the War Machine armor. He was spiraling down in guilt, but in the end... it was no one's fault. At most, it was my own. Because I chose to wear the War Machine armor. Because I chose to become an Avenger. Because I chose to not leave his side and go to the airport in Germany. This is my life, these were my choices."

Loki hummed, still not entirely sure where this was going. Yet he knew better than to interrupt Rhodes when he was clearly having a point that he was getting at. Besides, this was surprisingly good distraction. Better than Thor anyway, with Thor, Loki always had a baseline level of irritation. Rhodey however was someone Loki found surprisingly pleasant to be around, most of the time.

"Don't do this, man", grunted Rhodey and shook his head. "Don't blame yourself for what happened to Tony. Tony Stark does whatever the fuck Tony Stark wants. Absolutely no one can control that idiot. And even if you'd give your all trying to protect him, he'll just... out-protect you and get hurt doing that. He's been a self-sacrificial bastard since becoming Iron Man."

"How do you deal with that?", asked Loki, genuinely baffled. "How can you deal with this man, this fragile, breakable mortal, throwing himself into danger every chance he can get?"

"Believe me, it has aged me approximately twenty more years than it should have in the last ten. The only thing I can do is be there for him, have his back." Rhodey paused and regarded Loki slowly. "I was there today. I saw that you got his back. You fought bravely out there, Loki. There's nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening."

Once more, Rhodey paused. His eyes felt heavy and intense on Loki. For some reason, Loki felt like he was being assessed by the Midgardian and somehow, it felt... important.

"You know why Tones was spiraling back then?", asked Rhodey rhetorically. "He did it because he loves me. He worried about me because he loves me. Not like that. He's not in love with me. Now I wonder, why do you worry like this? Because you love him... or because you're in love with him?"

Loki glowered at that. Admittedly, he was aware that he was not very good at covering his feelings up. As someone who didn't let a lot of people close, it was rather apparent when he actually did care about someone. And oh, he cared very much for Tony. That those closest to him – Thor – and closest to Tony – Rhodey – would notice was not much of a surprise.

"He is unlike anyone I have ever met, in any realm", whispered Loki below his breath.

"Unlike anyone? Including whoever's the other party involved in making Hela?", asked Rhodey.

"Angerboda was... chilling as ice and burning brighter than the sun, but what we had was merely... physical attraction. It's why I ended up with the kids alone", admitted Loki, surprising himself by sharing this with James. "This... is more. The thought of losing him-"

"Listen. Tony Stark is not that easily killed off", assured Rhodey. "He's gonna be fine."

"Are you not... going to give me what you mortals refer to as a 'shovel talk'?", inquired Loki suspiciously. "Are you not going to tell me that Tony is far out of my league and deserves better than a villain...? Why did you come out here to comfort me...?"

"Because you mean a lot to him too", replied Rhodey slowly. "I've seen that thing with Steve. I've seen Tony grow attached to someone who wasn't attached to him. I've seen him get his heart broken and it nearly broke him. I see the two of you and I see something that was lacking back then. Mutual respect. You respect him, his bots and inventions, his mind and opinion and his kids. I've seen you trust him. You trust him with the one person who means the most to you – your daughter. Him, he couldn't even trust Tony with Barnes, even after all these years."

Rhodey took a deep breath and let go of the rail to slowly head back inside. "Far as I'm concerned, you're actually an upgrade from the last guy Tony fell for. Long as you don't hurt him. And if I look at you and the way you're beating yourself up over Tony getting hurt on accident? I... don't think you really need a shovel talk, trickster."

Loki stared after Rhodey's retreating form, blinking a couple of times. Had this truly just happened? Was the closest confidant of Tony Stark approving of Loki...? No one had ever approved of Loki! How utterly... strange. Heaving a shaky sigh, Loki ran his fingers through his hair. As he closed his eyes, memories of this afternoon flooded his mind.

/flashback\

"Vision with Valkyrie, Wasp with Sif, War Machine with Thor. You're going to keep the Enchantress' enforcers busy. Me and Strange are going to come at the Enchantress herself from the North, Loki and Iron Man from the South. Iron Man and I are going to be our sorcerers' backup to make sure they're safe while performing their spells. Everyone clear on the plan?"

They had sent more people this time than they usually did. With Sif and Valkyrie joining the Avengers officially, they had more man-power – or woman-power, as Darcy liked to put it. They still didn't send the whole team out – Sharon coordinated from the mansion and Bruce was only going to come out if need really be – but they were as close to all-out as they had ever come since the New Avengers had formed. Loki was well-aware that the little spiderlings were eagerly waiting in the mansion, hoping to be called upon too, despite the rules rather clearly stating that Miles was not to partake in any actual missions. Still, the boys remained ever hopeful to save the day.

"Well then, Discord, you ready to team up with me?", asked Tony with a teasing grin.

He nudged Loki teasingly. The trickster huffed and rolled his eyes, feigning irritation.

"You better not get in the way of my spells, Stark", warned Loki.

"Worry not. My job is to keep you safe. Today, I am your bodyguard", chuckled Tony.

Loki arched an eyebrow as he followed Iron Man into the battle. The other teams took care of fighting the minions while Loki, rather reluctantly so, was working his magic together with Strange. Tony fought off anyone who came too close to Loki, but with all the other Avengers busy in their own battles, Tony quickly found himself overwhelmed as Amora spotted Loki – he was the only one worthy of fighting, so she came for them, faster than the other Avengers could react – there were too many, not just Asgardian minions that were being held off by Sif, Valkyrie, Thor and Captain Marvel, but also creatures, fierce, deadly monsters she had summoned to protect her. No one was there to come and help Tony and Tony, he flippantly claimed he could handle it.

"Stark, I'm nearly done, five more minutes-", growled Loki out.

But he was distracted. He kept one eye on Tony, watching every hit he took. Until he took one hit too big – the armor flickered off and went down and Loki immediately abandoned his spell, despite nearly finishing it, but what was the point in capturing Amora if it meant losing Tony? He used his magic to shield them as he gathered Tony and screamed through the coms for the others and for medics. The rest of the battle around them was a haze to Loki, all he could concentrate on was Tony and not losing Tony. He poured his magic, the parts he hadn't used for the spell that was now abandoned and lost and wasted. Magic he could use to fully heal Tony, wasted on this stupid spell.

His head whipped up to stare at the now retreating Amora. She would pay for this.

"Stay with me, Stark. If you die on my watch, the children would never forgive me."

"Dying? I don't die that easily", huffed Tony, offering a crooked grin... and coughing up blood.

"Stark, I forbid you to die", growled Loki irritated as Tony passed out in his arms.

/flashback|end\

Taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment, Loki decided to head back inside. He couldn't shake the image of Tony, bleeding and passing out. He crossed his arms to cling onto the leather of his sleeves and hide the shaking of his hands. He was Loki Friggason, the prince of Asgard. He was not going to show any weakness. He had no weakness. Tony Stark was not his weakness.

(Only that he was. Like a cold blizzard overcoming him on a hot summer day did this realization settle in. He cared. He cared so much cared too much. He was weak. Weak for Tony Stark.)

"Where are the children?", asked Loki and froze as he re-entered the room.

It was Banner who rested a hand on his upper arm and offered what looked like a reassuring expression. "Harley and Katherine are with Tony. While you were outside, Helen came and told us that Tony is stable enough to have visitors now. Two at a time."

"He's stable", echoed Loki, voice unusually soft.

"He's stable", repeated Bruce with a nod.

Breathing slowly, Loki forced himself to sit down next to Thor and wait. Two at a time. Loki was going to sit here for a while then, huh. He turned to look at the hands in his lap.

When the kids returned, Sharon and Rhodey were the next to go inside. Pepper and Happy followed after them. Monica and Peter went in after them. It was slowly getting late, they wanted to give Tony a bit time between visitors because this was exhausting. Family first, of course. Loki didn't quite know why he was waiting. Best to give Tony the time to relax.

"Loki?", asked Peter softly. "Mister Stark is asking to see you."

Lifting his head slowly, Loki looked at the teenager, utterly puzzled by that. It took him a moment to process what Peter had said. However, there were so many others still waiting? Vision, Bruce, Jane, Thor, Hope, Darcy, Carol had returned at this point and Maria and Monica had arrived from SWORD headquarters after they had been alerted of this.

"Just... me?", asked Loki rather confused.

Peter nodded before he headed over to sit with the other teens. After another moment, Loki got up and slowly walked toward the infirmary room that Tony was staying in. It was all state of the art, of course would they not have anything less than that. In the only bed in the room laid Tony, looking exhausted, face bruised and chest bandaged. He had a lazy smile on his lips, the kind that implied he was heavily medicated. Loki shook his head as he approached the bed.

"If you have summoned me to tell me that this is my fault, I am well-aware-"

"Wha—a...", drawled Tony, scrunching up his nose in a rather endearing way. "I called you here to thank you. You saved my life. If you hadn't dropped everything you were doing and rushed to me and performed... magical first-aid... I would most likely not have made it..."

"I...", started Loki, wavering a little.

He cleared his throat and straightened up, donning a serious and irritated expression. "Well, that is what happens when you have to play hero all the time."

"You know you're allowed to say you were worried", hummed Tony amused.

"I was not worried", grunted Loki defensively.

"You ordered me not to die", snorted Tony, waving an accusatory finger at Loki. "You were totally worried that I'd die in your arms. You care about me. You li—ike me."

"I have no idea how that happened either", growled Loki irritated.

Tony blinked at him in surprise. "...Huh. Well. I like you too."

"You... what?", asked Loki slowly, sitting down on the chair next to the bed.

"I mean, come on. I made a new policy of not letting anyone live in my mansion who I don't like. You're fun to be around. You can be very kind, if you want to be and it is... nearly a privilege to actually see you be kind. To be someone to whom you're kind."

Silence settled between them as the two men who juggled more masks between them than anyone they knew combined dropped them all just for a moment. The only thing that remained was raw honesty and emotion and such a deeply seated longing that stared back at them from the other's face. There was so much of themselves that they saw in the other. So much pain, so much suffering and loss, so many expectations they never lived up to, trust broken and left to fend for themselves. Bad childhoods, bad fathers, the loss of their mothers, loneliness and being different. All those traits they shared, those pains they understood. Loki opened his mouth, unsure what to say.

"I meant what I said. You're not allowed to die. I have never met a kindred soul and I am not used to this feeling... of having found one. You are not allowed to leave just like that."

"Understood", nodded Tony, swallowing hard. "So... How about..."

"Yes?", asked Loki softly.

"A date", continued Tony after a moment, blinking.

"I'm sure this is the drugs talking", noted Loki with furrowed brows.

"No—o. This is the you sitting there, checking on me, worrying about me, being adorable – don't glare, I'm right and I says so!", exclaimed Tony, motioning around wildly.

"You... says so", echoed Loki and shook his head. "You need your rest. I will tell the others that you need sleep and you will take visitors again tomorrow."

"No—o, don't go—o. Stupid, stupid pretty alien", groaned Tony frustrated.

Still shaking his head, Loki left the hospital room and headed toward his own suite.

/break\

"So, he's been hiding out in his room, huh?", whispered Tony amused.

"Ye—eah. I think he's like emotionally scarred or something", supplied Miles. "Reminds me of mom when dad got shot at work two years ago. She was so angry and had him sleeping on the couch for a week. I think he's really, really worried about you, Mister Stark."

Tony arched one eyebrow and looked at the teens solemnly nodding at that. How was he getting relationship counseling from the kids? Peter, Miles and Harley were working on some school project. An art project, which Peter and Harley vastly leaned onto Miles for. It looked pretty impressive so far; Miles had a lot of talent. He could really go places with that, with the right education. He hoped Miles wasn't going to drop his passion for a 'more down-to-Earth' job like so many did who wasted their talents in favor of being practical.

"We approve of you two, by the way", noted Harley. "I mean, I was skeptical at first, he's a trickster and all. But I think he genuinely cares about you? You... should have seen him in the waiting room. After... After they brought you in. He was beside himself."

Harley was biting his lip and not looking at Tony. Tony knew that Loki wasn't the only one who had been beside himself. Sighing, Tony pulled Harley into a one-armed hug, kissing the top of his head.

"I'm not dying that easily, you know that, right?", asked Tony softly.

"I wasn't worried", huffed Harley. "I know you won't let some second-rate witch off you."

"If Mister Stark and Loki get married, that'd make you and Hela siblings", mused Peter.

"...Let's not get ahead of ourselves like that. I'm trying to convince him to go on a date with me."

"You are?!", exclaimed Miles excitedly. "Oh. I'm sure he's gonna say yes. You should try flowers. When mom's not in much of a date-night mood, he usually brings her flowers."

Tony smiled indulgently at Miles and nodded, yet still twenty minutes later when he was standing in front of Loki's suite with a bouquet of yellow roses – the closest he could get to Loki's color-scheme. Yellow flowers with dark, green stalks.

"Hello, Tony", greeted Hela as she opened the door with a smile.

"Ah. Hello, princess .Your dad inside...?", asked Tony slowly.

"Ye—es", replied Hela before wrapping her arms around him and hugging him.

He smiled amused and a bit confused as Hela kissed him on the cheek. It was cold. Not just that she had cold lips, but it felt as though the cold was spreading out from the point they touches his cheek, until a shudder ran down his spine and the cold seemed to be everywhere. Then, as sudden as it had overcome him, it disappeared again. Tilting her head at him, she smiled.

"Father would not be pleased if you left the mortal realm this early. And it would devastate Peter too. I don't like either of those options. So please don't."

"...Got it, princess", nodded Tony slowly, watching her skip away.

Shaking his head, Tony decided to head inside. He found Loki lounging in the living room, staring out the balcony's glass door, in his hand a glass of wine and on his face a contemplative look.

"Lokes. Looking very sophisticated there", noted Tony with a playful smile. "You know, you... never came back to the infirmary. Left me bored out of my mind with only the kids and the scientists to keep me company. Did I really scare you off that much when I asked you out?"

"I simply... wished for you to... recover in peace", whispered Loki, not looking at him.

"Yeah, well. I recovered. Thanks to your magic and Helen's magical science", chimed Tony, spreading his arms wide. "Good as new. Well, captain says I'm off-duty for another two weeks and am supposed to kick back and take it slow. And... I figured... maybe you could keep me company in that time? As in, go on a date with me? I swear I am not on any drugs or anything. Totally clear-minded. Since you didn't believe me the last time."

Loki blinked a couple of times and looked at him. Specifically, he looked at Tony's cheek suspiciously before he got up and stepped up to stand in front of Tony, cupping that very cheek.

"A date. Very well", whispered Loki determined. "I shall make you mine."

Now it was Tony's turn to blink wildly. He also blushed. And stared.

Author's note: LOOK THEY'RE GOING ON THEIR FIRST DATE! AND IT ONLY TOOK ME 20 CHAPTERS TO LEAD TO THIS. :D""" So, unsurprisingly: Next chapter will be Tony and Loki's first date!