Brittany crying provokes the worst feeling inside of Santana. There is nothing she can do but hold her close and whisper words of support to her. That is what makes it the worse feeling in the world. Santana can't, as much as she wishes, take her pain away. If she could, she would do it in an instant.
Santana wouldn't have minded if she had to hold Brittany all night as she cried, but as Brittany's crying subsides to sniffles into her neck, she is relieved. She doesn't stop soothing Brittany's back as the girl slowly gathers control of her emotions.
"Want to talk about it now?" Santana asks.
Brittany nods against her shoulder.
"Want to stay here or get ready for bed and talk about it while we cuddle?"
"Please," Brittany says with a broken voice.
Santana's eyes close at the fragileness in her voice, but nods.
She quietly guides their bodies up, not breaking her hold on Brittany and moving them towards Brittany's bedroom. She helps Brittany change into her pajamas before changing into hers. She grabs Brittany's hand and walks them over to Brittany's bathroom. They brush their teeth. The whole time, Santana and Brittany lock eyes through the mirror.
They get into bed and meet in the middle once they are finished changing. Santana turns Brittany around and molds her body into the taller girl. Santana is usually the little spoon, but tonight, she will be the one to hold Brittany. She doesn't mind the role reversal. She likes being able to be the one that offers security to Brittany.
One of her arms wraps around Brittany and pulls her closer. Brittany takes her hand and clenches it to her chest, kissing it before she rest holds it close to her heart.
"What happened?"
"He looked so empty."
Santana says nothing and listens.
"He said it wasn't my fault, but I know that it is. He wouldn't be getting a divorce if you and I weren't doing this."
"It's not your fault," Santana says quickly.
"It feels like it is."
"It isn't. I married your father, knowing I didn't love him. There was a point in my life where I was proud of what I was doing. Now, I feel ashamed." She nuzzled into the back of her neck, "It isn't your fault. If it weren't you, some other chick would have come along."
"Why me?" She asked, turning and facing Santana.
Santana looks at her blue eyes. They were still red and puffy from all the crying. She can see the lingering sadness and guilt in them, too. Her hands come up to caress her face.
"Baby, I can't explain why I find you the most beautiful, nor can I explain this hold you've got on me. Since the first time I saw you, I wanted you. I couldn't stay away. It's like something was pulling me towards you," She joins their foreheads together, "All I know is that I love you, and you make my whole world brighter. You are the only good thing in this miserable, stinking world."
She smiles when she sees Brittany smile at her. Despite the evident sadness in her eyes, a hint of happiness shines through them.
"We have something special, don't we?" Brittany asked quietly.
"I have no choice but to believe we do. You and I were destined to meet that night. We are not a mistake. I am sure of that."
Worried she'd said too much, Santana swallows as Brittany licks her lips and looks intently at her eyes, searching for something. She is pleasantly surprised when Brittany kisses her lips so softly it felt like rose petals crazed her lips. So delicate and smooth.
"I love you, too," Brittany says.
They look into each other's eyes. Santana's hands never left Brittany's face. Brittany's arm rested on her lower back, pulling her closer. The night gets longer, and eventually, they fall asleep.
Brittany turns the metal object, stopping all the water from coming out. She slides the transparent door and retrieves a towel. She pats her body dry before stepping out with a towel wrapped around her body. She quickly grabs another and wraps it around her wet hair. Her feet hit the small bathroom rug. Her hand wipes the steam off the mirror, and she begins to brush her teeth.
She'd woken up this morning to run. She was quiet when she got home when she had concluded that Santana was still sleeping. She drank her coconut water and decided to take a quick shower. Brittany was feeling a lot better than she had a couple of nights ago. How could she not? Santana was right. Their love was unlike any other. She knew what Santana meant when she had mentioned the feeling of a pull inside. Brittany has felt it, too.
She bites her lip when she enters her room and spots Santana sleeping. The tan woman is sleeping on her stomach with her arm holding Brittany's pillow close to her chest. She grabbed it this morning after kissing Brittany before falling back asleep. Her bareback was fully exposed, thanks to the thin sheet that was now down to her waist. Her bare ass was almost on full display. She takes the towel off of her head and ties her hair in a messy bun with a heart tie she had around her wrist. She didn't care that her hair was still very damp.
She creeps her way over, not wanting to wake Santana up just yet and gets into the bed. She kisses her shoulder, to her shoulder blade, down her spine. Brittany smiles through her kisses when Santana moans in approval.
"Missed you," Santana tells her tiredly.
Brittany's hands come up to Santana's ass to massage her ass cheeks as she continues her kissing trail lower and lower. Brittany sucks one of her ass cheeks before she bites it, making Santana hiss. Brittany then kisses the bite before blowing on the skin to cool it.
Brittany spanks Santana causing the girl to squirm in surprise. Santana looks over her shoulder with a smirk.
"I want you," She tells her.
"Take me, Baby," Brittany grunts at how irresistible Santana is. She grabs Santana's waist and turns her body around. Santana immediately widens her legs for her. Her erection begins to grow at Santana's willingness. She settles between her legs and breathes in deeply with closed eyes. Santana's scent is so intoxicating. She opens her eyes and looks down at the glistening center. She grabs hold of Santana's thighs and immediately licks her long and slow.
Santana moans loudly, and her hands land on her head, pushing her further into her. Brittany flattens her tongue and laps up all the wetness before she brings it to her clit. Brittany runs her tongue over it before circling her tongue around it. She loves how Santana whimpers and moans as she pushes her head further in a while, raising her hips and grinding them into her face.
"Baby," Santana moans.
Brittny wraps her lips around the takes her hands and spreads her lips and licks her noticing the hardness of her clit now fully exposed. Involuntary, she bucks her hips into the bed beneath her. She rubs her hand over Santana's pussy marveling at how much Santana is aroused. She slaps her pussy, playfully, biting her lip.
"You're so wet, and you smell so fucking good," she licks her lips. "And the taste, God, Baby, I can't get enough of it."
She licks her long and slows once more before focusing her tongue in her click. Her now wet fingers tease her lips, causing Santana to buck into her more.
"Please," Santana begs. Her voice is raspy and heavy with desperation.
Brittany nods, adding yet, another sensation. She slides in two fingers easily, and Santana moans loudly. Brittany takes her clit into her mouth and sucks it slowly, focusing on the soft velvety tightness squeezing her fingers. She moves her fingers slowly while licking and sucking her.
Santana can't concentrate on anything but what Brittany's mouth and fingers are doing to her. Brittany's tongue sends shivers throughout her entire body. Her fingers are making her pussy feel like it is on fire in the best way possible. She is so wet that she feels the wetness down her ass and between her legs. She is pretty sure if she were to check, Brittany's hands are covered in her juices. She is not embarrassed to be so turned on, Brittany always gets her this way, and she knows Brittany enjoys it to no end. In the end, it is all for Brittany anyway. Brittany loves getting her that way.
Brittany shakes her face into her while moaning at her taste. It causes her to feel wonderful vibrations.
"Fuck," She husks out.
Though Brittany has begun to move her fingers quicker, she still moves slowly, rhythmically. It's a pattern Santana knows all too well. It is one that drives her crazy. Wanting more, Santana rolls her body into the movements, loving every moment of this madness.
"Ugh," She grunts when Brittany inserts another finger into her, stretching her more.
Santana bites her lip when Brittany strokes deeply inside her, but it does little to quiet her moans. "Ugh, yes, there," She says, moving faster when Brittany touches that spot again, "Oh. right there,"
Brittany changes the rhythm, rubbing the same spot with her fingers a few times before slowly thrusting in and out of her. Her mouth still gently sucking her clit, and her tongue licking around it. Often, she'd flatted her tongue and ran it over the hardened clit.
Her hands pushed Brittany in more, as her hips moved with her on their own accord. Brittany's hand comes up to fondled her breast.
"Ugh, ugh," her breathing is more laborious, her eyes focusing on how intense everything is becoming. Her hips move harder and slow while Brittany continues to stroke her pussy deeply.
"Oh fuck, Brittany, Baby, oh yessss, I-"
Her mouth feels dry, and her body feels so hot. She can feel the sheets sticking to her back. The air feels so thick, and it smells like her. She can hear Brittany's mouth working other and the sound all too familiar squishy sound of Brittany's fingers thrusting in and out of her pussy.
"I- cumming, Baby."
Brittany doesn't need Santana to tell her she's close. She can feel it. Brittany can feel Santana's pussy clenching around her fingers, pulling her inside. She can feel Santana's wetness all over her hands. Santana's pussy juice covers half of her face; It is all over her mouth, chin, and cheeks. It is not enough. She wants it all.
Santana's moans grow closer and louder. Her breathing becomes more profound. Her movements become even more erratic as she fights her body to keep moving. Her back arches and she begins to tremble above her.
"Brittany," Santana says before a loud moan signals her release.
A gush of cum cums down her fingers, and Brittany takes her fingers out of Santana, who sighs. She takes her cum covered fingers and licks from her wrist up to her fingers at the sensation. Brittany knows she's sensitive.
She intends to get every bit of Santana's cum, but she can't resist the urge to give Santana another orgasm. She uses her still wet hand to rub small, tight, and fast circles on her clit while she moves her tongue inside Santana.
"Oh shit" Her hands move to her head, and Santana is once again rolling her body into her. Her movements are fast and messy. Brittany knows she's already close. "Eat my fucking pussy Mmmmm yeh,"
Brittany twirls her tongue, her arm burns from how much work she's putting on Santana's clit, but she doesn't dare stop. She knows Santana won't last long.
"OH, OH FUCk," she lets out a high pitched moaned, "Baby, I-"
Santana is shaking again, but this time it is more intense.
"OH, GOD!"
Brittany moans in surprise when Santana squirts on her face. She quickly licks her before she kneels between her spread legs. Her cock jiggles at the rapidness of her movements, and immediately, Brittany grabs her cock before she begins to stroke it with her hand. She moves her hand up to gather the pre-cum seeping from her cock, and with her fist, she spreads it down her shaft. The wetness, in combination with Santana's wetness, makes her hand glide smoothly along her hardened length.
Santana is looking at her, watching her. Her chest still having from her orgasms, her dark nipples still rock hard. And her pussy. Cum covered her pussy. It also visibly pulsated.
Her abdomen tightens. Her hands come up to caress her breast, pinching her hard pink nipples.
"Ugh, you so hot, Baby," She grunts out.
Her eyes lock with Santana's. They are dark, brown, and heavy-lidded. Santana's mouth is a gap as she watches her jack off. Brittany's eyes leave hers only to focus on the hand, slowly creeping down her abs to her pussy.
Brittany's movements quicken, and she licks her lips as Santana enters herself with three fingers. She moans when she feels a jolt rush through her. Her orgasm is close.
"Fuck yourself," Brittany orders with a whisper.
Santana bites her lip and begins to waste no time in thrusting in and out of herself hard. Brittany squeezes the base of her cock to make the moment last a little longer.
Santana's heartbeat increases when Brittany orders her to fuck herself. She loves dominant Brittany. The girl was super sexy when Brittany was in charge. She fucks herself harder. Wishing her fingers were Brittany's beautiful hard cock.
Her body is hot and sweaty. Her pussy is thoroughly wet. She has had two orgasms, and she's already close to her third. She couldn't help herself. Watching the girl she loves most in the world fucking hard cock is one of the sexiest things in the world. Brittany's body is fucking hot.
Brittany's abdomen tightens, exposing her abdomen muscles that hide under the feminine flat stomach even more. She licks her lips when she sees her balls tighten.
"So sexy," She says while she continues to fuck herself, "Fuck,"
"You like watching me fuck myself," Brittany grunts out.
"Yes, so much," Her eyes furrow and her mouth widens, "Oh shit,"
Brittany moves her hand faster, her eyes furrow, and her mouth opens.
Santana tries to keep her eyes open, but can't. Her orgasm is already seconds away. She reaches her clit with her other hand and moves her fingers quickly on it.
Both of their breathing is deep. It is hard for Santana to distinguish her moans and grunts from Brittany's.
Santana cums for the third time that night with only a single long moan. She watches as Santana lazily sucks her fingers clean. She looks delirious, and her eyes barely opened. Brittany feels her muscles start to contract. Her arm is burning again from her fast movements. Her balls are tightening more and more. She eyes Santana's pussy and aims her cock at it.
A few more pumps and a grunt, she cums shooting her load onto Santana's soaked pussy. She contains to pump her cock. Her movements move her cock as it releases her seed that some lands on Santana's stomach and chest. Her hand moves slower as less and less of her cum ejaculates. With a loud moan, she lets go of her cock when she is releasing the last of her seed. Her cock twitches on its own before softening. Tired and exhausted, she falls onto Santana, who wraps her arms around her.
Santana pulls her into a sloppy kiss. Neither of them cares that there is a lot of mess between their two bodies.
Santana opens the fridge, and installing everything is lit up. She can feel the cold air hit her skin. Santana had opted not to wear any clothes while she got Brittany and her some snacks to re-energize. To her disappointment, all she found was leftover Chinese take out from some nights ago.
She grabs the container and opens it. She takes a big sniff at the contents and shrugs, determining that the food was still good. She grunts. This food isn't going to last them for the next couple of days. She and Brittany will eventually need to go to the groceries anyway. She and Brittany were having a lot of fun that they didn't want to step outside of the house unless it was for a class, but there was no other option. They needed to go to the food store, and they needed to go today.
She puts the food back and closes the fridge before walking back to Brittany's room. It is the same room they two of them have been practically living in. Apart from school, work, or math tutoring classes that Brittany had offered to give for extra cash, they spent most of their time in the blonde's room. The bathroom was the only other room in the house they had occupied apart from the kitchen. It's been that way for three weeks.
She enters the room and finds Brittany sitting on the bed, with a sheet tucked under her arms. Brittany is on her phone texting who she can assume is ether Rachel, Kurt, or some of her dancer friends like Janet. Santana was still a little jealous of the girl even though Brittany had reassured her time and time again that they were nothing but friends.
"Britt-Britt," she says as she gets on the bed.
The younger girl looks at her and puts her phone on the dresser.
"Yes, San,"
"We need to go to the food store. All we have is Chinese from two weeks ago that is still good, but I dont want to eat. It's all we have left." She says as she straddles Brittany.
Brittany's hands come to her waist, pulling their bodies closer.
"I could eat you all day if that's what it comes down to." Brittany teases, pulling her into a kiss.
Just as their lips are about to connect, Brittany's stomach growls, making Santana chuckled.
"Yeah, but your stomach says otherwise. Let's go shower and go to the store real quick. We'll eat and then we can pick this up later."
Brittany pouts playfully but agrees.
They're walking down the aisle with Brittany pushing their cart. Santana chuckles when she sees Brittany bush their cart and then stand on the bottom rail as it moves. It's entirely endearing to her how much Brittany is still so playful and innocent. She watches up to Brittany, who has gotten down and is now grabbing some of the produce.
Santana figures it will be faster if they split up and get separate items from the produce section. Santana puts in the last item from the area, a bag of potatoes, into the cart, and Brittany pecks her cheek. It is so domestic, exciting, and new to her. Sure, she's kissed David plenty of times to make it seem believable to him, but this is nothing like that. She isn't doing this because she was playing a role. She also isn't playing all the cards to get a girl for a night. No, this is different because someone is doing it to her, and she is caught off guard. It had been forever since she's had a girlfriend, and this feels somewhat new to her.
She smiles at Brittany as she smiles back at her, and then watches her as she continues to push the cart. In the distance, she can see an old lady shaking her head at them, but she shrugs and does a shuffles her feet and quickly watches up to Brittany, who has once again pushed the cart and gotten on its lower rail.
"About time, slowpoke," Brittany teases.
She is about to respond when her phone rings. She reaches into her purse and retrieves her phone and immediately rolls her eyes. The photo of her mom is all she sees. Santanamdoesn't want to deal with her right now. She shows Brittany her phone and tells her who it is before she slides her pointer finger on the screen to answer it.
"Hello, mother."
"Santana, Mija, how are you?"
"I am well," she says, looking at Brittany as the girl puts in a few meat items into the cart, "I am really, really great."
"Interesting. I talked to a friend of mine, Martha. Do you remember her?"
"Martha?" Santana repeats the name, squinting her eyes and trying to remember the name. She vaguely does. She recalls meeting her the time her mother came to visit her awhile back, "I do. I do remember her."
"She told me something interesting today. Do you have any idea of what it could be?" Her tone is sweet but condescending.
"I haven't seen or talked to her; I have no idea what she could have told you."
Brittany looks at her, and she mouths the words, "Sorry," to Brittany, who only mouths back that it is okay.
"She told me that her husband had told her that David was consulting with him about how to divide his assets with his wife."
Santana swallows a lump in her throat. Her heart rate picks up.
"Really?" Santana says, pretending not to know what she is referring to.
"Yes. Imagine my surprise when Martha said that she recognized your name on the form. Santana, do you have something you want to tell me?" Her voice sounds like a mother pointing their finer at their child for making poor choices.
Santana feels her heart drop to her stomach, and her feet stop moving. Her mother is asking, but she already knows that she and David are divorcing. This is it, be honest. She thinks to herself.
"It's true. David and I are ending our marriage."
There is no sound on the other line. For a moment, Santana thinks the line has ended. She even looks at her phone to make sure she is still in a call. The screen lights up when she pulls it away from her face. She can see six icons on the screen and her mother's photo on the screen in the background and the time of their call, still counting the duration of the call. She puts the phone back to her ear.
"Mamá?"
"Why would you divorce him? He is financially well off, he is respectful, and he is handsome." Her mother's voice is lovely despite the apparent displeasure in it.
"I don't love him. I tried hard to. I wanted to."
"Santana, he was a good man." Her mother tells her pointedly.
"Mamá, " she starts, swallowing the lump in her throat before she tells her, "I didn't love him," Santana says again.
After a long pause, her mother speaks again, "Very well, then. I guess we will have to try to find you a new man. Maybe someone younger this time. I can not have my daughter be single and divorced when all the other women your age are having children and settling down."
Santana closes her eyes. Her mother is still so in denial about so many things.
"Don't exaggerate. There are plenty of women who are single and divorced. Many women don't have children until they are older."
"When I was your age, I already had you." The disappointment in her voice is not hidden by the tone of voice her mother is using.
"That was a different time. I will be fine."
"Santana,"
Santana can't deal with this any longer. She can not prolong telling her mother.
"Mom, I am gay," She is met with silence once more, but continues, "I know you know this. I know you haven't forgotten." Santana adds.
"Now, you listen to me, Santana," Her voice is thick with hatred. The words sting. Santana knew it would come to this, but Santana still hoped things would go differently, "you will meet another man, you will marry this man, and you will have children with this man. You will live a normal life."
Brittany notices Santana stop and recognizes the look of fear in her face. She goes back and takes her hand in hers.
"What-" Santana says quietly.
Brittany can't hear the conversation, but she can sense the uneasiness in Santana. She can see Santana is not happy about this conversation.
"What if I don't want to?" Though her voice sounds strong, Brittany hears the pain in her voice.
"Wow, you'd cut me out of your life just like that?" She hears Santana's question. Her voice has a little more bite, but still, the pain in it is evident to Brittany.
Brittany tightens her hold on Santana's hand, offering the older woman her support. Brittany observes how Santana shakes her head and how her jaw tightens.
"You're wrong. Love is real."
Brittany notices the tears building up in Santana's eyes.
"Don't," Santana says into the phone with a bit of spite. "Don't feel sorry for me. I am finally brave enough to be the person that I have always been." Santana's voice holds no apology.
"You're wrong. Someone does love me. She loves me for who I am and all that I have to give. Do you want to know anything else? Some day I am going to have a family. One that I will love and cherish in ways you couldn't. I want to say that I am sorry, but honestly," Santana says into the phone with a firm tone as she wipes her tears from her eyes, refusing to let them fall, "I am not sorry. You can keep your money. You can cut me out of your life. You and dad can pretend to be this perfect family, but you, dad, and I all know you are both so fucking miserable. So, no mother, don't feel sorry for me. Don't pray for me. Tell your friends and the family whatever you want to tell them. As for me," Santana says, smiling at Brittany, "I am going to be happy with a woman who truly loves me. I am here if you ever change you remind me about people like me, but I won't hold my breath. Goodbye."
Brittany smiles with pride as Santana's hands up the phone before another word can be said. She is about to tell her how proud of her she is, knowing Santana's history with her mother, but Santana pulls her into a passionate kiss.
Her eyes are heavy-lidded, and she is speechless when she and Santana pull apart.
"I do love you," She says after a moment.
She needs Santana to know that she loves all that Santana is, even if she doesn't know everything about her. She knows the darkest parts and her deepest secrets. Things only a few ex-girlfriends would know. Many would tell her she isn't worth it. That Santana is this bad and awful person, but Brittany loves her. She loves her dark, ugly past, and she loves the gentle person she is now; Brittany does not doubt that she will love her more as she learns more about her.
"I know," Santana says, bopping her nose with her pointer finger before grabbing her hand and pulling her along as she pushes the cart towards the register.
Brittany smiles and lets Santana guide her. This woman had gone from marrying someone for money and her parent's approval to being brave and proud of who she is. Santana told her parents about their relationship and didn't feel bad about it. Knowing she is the reason behind that makes her heart flutter.
Author'a Note: I would appreciate some feedback. Is the story making sense? Do you enjoy reading it? What can I improve on?
Do let me know how my smut is written? Is it okay? Could it use some work? Is it awful?