A/N: WARNING! This chapter does have some explicit self harm. It is brief, but it is there. If you need to skip that part of the story then you can skip Kit's first perspective scene or until the part where Jaime enters the scene.
Livvy sipped on the tea Julian had brought for her, savoring it's flavor. It was weird, her body didn't react to the revelation of tasting something like she had expected, yet her brain was telling her the sensation was exciting and new.
It didn't taste any more special than anything she had tasted as she was alive, another sensation her body was more familiar with then she was.
She listened raptly to her sister talking to her, but she wasn't really listening, she was wrapped up in the feeling that her sister could talk to her, and thrummed with excitement to respond.
But her excitement died away when she tried to think of a response, because while Livvy wanted to talk to her sister about how hard it had been only being able to react to Ty and how worried she had been about him, and how much she wanted to gush over her sister and how much she had grown, Dru was expecting an answer on the complicated situation she was finding herself apart of.
And it wasn't fair, all she wanted to do was hug her family catch up with them all and even feel her old saber in her hand again. She didn't know these people from Thule that had been waiting for her to wake up and lead them, she wasn't the person that had kept them alive and fought with them in Thule.
Somewhere in the back of her brain she felt something worm around in her head like another consciousness pushing on her skull.
She bit her tongue and ignored it, telling herself she wasn't used to all kinds of sensations, this didn't mean anything. What mattered was what her sister was telling her and what she was supposed to say next.
But what was worse was that couldn't let Dru down, she was her big sister and she obviously needed her. She remembered when she thought she wanted to run an Institute, and protect and care for the people she loved like Julian had, she had thought her time being dead had only exemplified that need for agency, but now that it was back in her hands she didn't know what to do.
"No one else but our family can know that you're you now," Dru reminded.
"So I have to keep pretending I'm not who they think I am, and they think I'm their leader," she swallowed, her throat unusually dry despite her tea.
Her sister's face fell, long eyelashes fell over her large green eyes as she looked to the cup in her hand. "I know this probably isn't what you expected, but I can help. I've worked with them for over a year now. I think we can do this together." She reached out a hand to place it on top of Livvy's. Her smile was warm and encouraging, and Livvy noticed sadly, even a little timid.
"We will," She forced a smile trying to give her words the conviction she didn't feel. Something sank in her stomach; the tea turning cold as it slid through her insides when she thought of all the people waiting on her outside this room.
There was no knock as someone pushed opened the door and let themselves barge into the infirmary like a charging boar.
A boy with dark hair and brown skin stopped when his eyes found Dru, but blinked when he saw Livvy. "Dr-Livvy? Your awake!" He exclaimed with a wide smile.
She was pretty sure she had never seen him before. She concentrated on him, something familiar about him tugging at her memories. Slowly she remembered who he was, Jaime Rosales. He had been with Ty, Dru, and Kit in Faerie. But as her memory sharpened to focus on the details of what she remembered about him, they slipped away from her.
"Jaime," she smiled, affirming that she knew him, and remembered she had never met him in her life.
Dru was on edge immediately. At first she thought she was afraid of her secret being revealed until she saw the angry look that turned to hurt when she looked away.
Another piece of information about him had come back to her about their apparent closeness.
She remembered they met when Dru was young, and very impressionable, and always looking for some validation from boys.
For the first time she felt grounded suddenly as a familiar feeling of protectiveness fell over her, and the knowledge that she wasn't a powerless bystander anymore.
"Do you need something? It's late and I have a lot to catch up on, and I want to talk to my sister alone."
Dru looked confused at the sharpness in her voice.
Jaime looked as if he didn't have an answer to that question. But before he could open his mouth Ty slinked in through the door with an alarmingly sullen expression.
He looked surprised as he looked up to see so many people still in here but not nearly as surprised as Jaime who turned around looking stunned.
"Ty?" He gasped.
"Hello, Jaime," Ty acknowledged, though Livvy could tell he was hardly paying him attention.
"Your alive? Is Kit here too?" Jaime practically jumped as her brother spoke as if expected Ty to be a hallucination.
"Yes," Ty said, shortly. Livvy knew all of the excitement around him was wearing him out.
Jaime grabbed him by the shoulders, ignoring Ty's obvious discomfort, and shook him. "You bastards!" He exclaimed, laughing as Ty shrugged him off.
"You can find Kit upstairs," Ty brushed past him, walking over to Livvy.
She watched her twin trying to figure out what was wrong. He had gone after Kit. She didn't need him to tell her that to know, but the concern extended towards her twin and a rush of fury from old resentment towards Kit.
She knew he didn't mean to hurt Ty, it was obvious how much he cared about him. But Kit had a self destructive nature about himself and when he caught fire and burned, Ty would go down with him trying to save him.
"Let's talk in your room," she told him quietly, knowing it was what he wanted.
"That's fine, it's not like I was worried about you two or anything," Jaime said over their conversation.
"I'm fine," Ty said, but his hand went to his forehead to hold in some pain he couldn't help but outwardly express.
Jaime dropped it, letting out a frustrated sigh, while Dru got up from the room and left.
He watched her go, and even though Livvy wanted to intercept him chasing after her, she knew she had to let it go to be with Ty.
She tried to remind herself that Dru wasn't so little anymore, in some ways no one knew that better than her, having to watch her grow and make her decisions without any way to reach out and help her.
As Jaime left, Livvy and Ty started making their way to the foyer where they could take the stairs that lead to their bedrooms.
As they were crossing the entryway though, someone opened the doors. They both stopped, neither of them used to so many people coming and going through their home.
The redhead that entered was immediately familiar. Livvy had grown up with the Ashdowns and was well acquainted with Emma's on and off again ex.
But none of that explained why when she saw him her breath left her lungs. She felt like she had been hit with something very heavy as that pressure returned in her head with a vengeance.
Something was screaming in her ear, her body froze in fear at what was going on.
Her skin was ice cold. Ty pulled at her hand, instantly aware that something was wrong.
But she couldn't seem to move. Her eyes were drawn to his, light blue with freckles that sprinkled his cheeks that suddenly seemed familiar, too familiar.
"Livvy?" Cameron asked in shock. "You must be from Thule," he said with a sort of awe and sadness that came with seeing a ghost of someone you had watched grow up.
She shook, something clawed at her throat and closed it tight. She clasped her mouth as a sob tore through her throat, hot tears flooded her eyes.
She was terrified, what was wrong with her?
"Livvy?" Ty was distressed, pressing the palm of her hand. "What's wrong?" He moved to block Cameron from view, standing in front of her.
That brief break in contact was enough to let her regain control of herself. Her limbs moved and she turned to run up the stairs to get as far away from this feeling as possible.
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"Dru," he didn't yell it, it was softly spoken, but it was enough to get her to stop running from him.
"It's late Jaime," she said, her back turned towards him.
"I had that realization," he started, not sure where to go from there. "I'm guessing there wasn't a funeral after all" he said brightly.
"Not that you would have known, seeing as you weren't here," she stressed.
He fumbled to try to find something to say, but he couldn't explain himself. She might be able to forgive him for breaking his promise, but she would hate him if she found out what he was doing behind her back.
He wouldn't risk that.
"I was looking for leads about Pandemonium, but things got complicated."
"I guess you're right, that is more important," she said bitterly. Her hair was loose now, brown curls falling down her back and shoulders. She had on ablack tank top that rode up her hips with black sweatpants.
It was hard not to notice her curves when she was faced away from him. He didn't look at her that way usually, he tried his best not to notice his attraction. He respected her too much to do that, the one time he had tried at the reveal didn't go well, it was obvious she didn't want him looking at her that way.
And he did tried.
But when she turned her head to look at him, her green eyes were dark, the slightest touch of freckles dusted her nose, the curve of her cheeks and jawline were so hard to not be taken in by just looking at her.
"It's not like that, I wanted to be here, I meant to be," he tried to explain. But the evidence was against him, he had taken the risk to go and investigate when he should have been heading to the Institute. A part of him knew that he never should have taken the chance, he should have been there when she woke up. He couldn't explain that, because he didn't think about it until now.
"I'm tired of broken promises," she said, her hand catching the necklace he had given her. "I don't need you to lie to me, ever. I don't know why I made myself believe you wouldn't."
"I always tell you my secrets, Dru," he tried to remind her, but he had never believed that, and now finally, neither did she.
She gave him a smile that was unlike her, her face changing to bitterness and defeat. Jaime feared maybe he had broken something that he should never have touched.
"You have a terrible poker face, Jaime."
She turned to leave, it was obvious she was done with the conversation, maybe even with him.
But he couldn't accept that, not yet. When everything was out in the open when he could be honest about everything, then she could hate him, but not yet.
He ran, catching up with her, he spun her around.
Her eyes widened in surprise but she didn't struggle under his grasp.
"I swear by the Angel this will all make sense soon. I promise you are important, sometimes I can't even remember what I'm doing unless it's for you!"
Her eyes widened in surprise, then they narrowed and he knew she was about to demand an explanation he couldn't give her just yet.
"You don't have to trust me, just believe me," he added.
Her eyes darted across his face, she was struggling to make sense of him.
Finally, she said very slowly, "I believe you."
Relief beyond anything he felt before him washed over him, he hadn't lost that yet, the one person to ever believe in him. He knew he would eventually, but he would hang on to every last second of it that he could.
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Kit had been pacing the room, it was late and he was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. He could hardly think. Anxiousness and anger burned through him forcing him to keep moving. He had tossed the boxes on the floor, scattered the contents and threw things as far away from him as they could get, but the despair inside him wasn't satisfied. He wanted to do real damage, damage that would hurt - damage that would exorcise this terrible energy that was demanding something from him.
With a sudden lurch of anger that threatened to strangle him, he grabbed a book of the dresser and threw it as hard as he could.
It flew into the bathroom that was left open, the shattering of glass told him it had hit the mirror.
He winced at the terrible sound, instantly regretting it. He had been sure the Blackthorns would resent him if they even remembered anything about him, and not even after being here for two hours did he break a mirror.
He walked into the room, not bothering to flip on a light switch and stared at his broken reflection. Cracks ran the length of the mirror, misshaping his face with a piece missing altogether from the shards of glass that had fallen into the sink.
His appearance was the same, all the cracks did was exemplify how much of a mess he was.
Cracked and falling apart was a pretty good way to describe him right about now.
His eyes looked hollow, dark circles painting the bottom of his eyes. The more he looked at himself the more he could tell how tired he really was, the energy seemed to sap out of him, until he was the same hollowed out representation of himself that he saw.
He looked down at the glass that fell in the sink. He started to pick out the shards, some of the smaller pieces escaping him to fall into the drain. Absently, he wondered if there were Shadowhunter plumbers, as larger peice slipped out his fingers, slicing them.
The sharp pain was startling, he felt something burn in his spine like a release of the pressure that had been building up inside himself, and decided it was almost pleasant. He picked up the shard, holding the edges against his fingers and gripping it tight.
Blood welled up from his hand, circling his wrists and dripping into the sink, tainting the tiny mirrors of himself with a red lens.
His muscles relaxed, the buzzing in his head started to die away as his focus sharpened on the pain in his hand.
A knock on his door broke him from his bizarre trance. Quickly he threw the glass aside, finding a spare shirt from one of the dressers to wrap his hand in before he hurried to the door.
"Ty-" he started, as he opened the door.
But instead of Ty, it was Jaime, and instead of acting like a normal person and exclaiming about how glad he was Kit was alive or pulling him into a hug, he shoved him in the chest, hard.
Kit almost dropped the shirt he was pretending to be putting away.
"What the hell, Jaime?" He yelled, but Jaime just shoved him again.
"You absolute bastard!"
Kit looked up to find him smiling, it was almost alarming.
"Next time you disappear you better be actually dead," he warned.
"Jesus, I'd hate to see what happens if I go on vacation without telling you."
"Postcards or I'm starting a funeral registry."
Kit actually smiled back. To him it hadn't been that long since he had seen him last, but it was strange to realize he actually might have missed him.
"Nobody uses postcards when they have cell phones. I'll just set up a default text to send to you every hour so you know I'm still alive." Kit said.
Jaime put a light hand on his shoulder before walking past him in the room and throwing himself cross legged onto the bed. "So, I have a plan I need your help with."
Kit stared at him in disbelief. "You thought I was dead two seconds ago and your already asking what use I can be for you?"
Jaime grinned up at him. "What did you expect, heartfelt poetry?"
"I've heard your idea of poetry from Fiacha, no thanks," and Kit meant it. He was kind of glad he could just skip another emotional reunion with Jaime and just act like they always had.
There was no way in this dimension that Jaime was about to get all emotional over him.
"I think it's time you get caught up on what you missed," Jaime suddenly turned serious.
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"I'm not going behind Dru's back, if she thinks Ash isn't the enemy then maybe he isn't." Kit said back after Jaime was done filling him in, ruffling through the dressers looking for more spare clothes he could find. "She's the only one who actually knows him, maybe she's right."
"I know you don't believe we should do nothing against him. Besides, he can command people with magic we can't trust him." Jaime said.
Kit paused, he was right that he didn't really believe that. As much as he wanted to trust Dru, the fact of the matter was that as long as Ash was sided with Sammael then he was an enemy.
He was reminded again how similar he and Ash were: two Shadowhunters who were princes of Faerie. He knew the spells done on him were to replicate the First Heir, the powers that Kit inherited. From what he heard they could both teleport but that was it. He didn't have wings and he couldn't make a blight that nullified the Nephilim's powers either. Maybe he didn't inherit all of Auraline's powers, or maybe the spells done on Ash were stronger. Or maybe he just hadn't figured them out yet.
He remembered in Lyonesse appealing to the Kings and trying to convince them to give him Ty's punishment. He didn't think much of it at the time, they were after all looking for any excuse to punish him. But what if it was more than that? He remembered pouring everything into convincing them, and hadn't they agreed to his demand almost immediately?
Jaime pushed when he said nothing. "All I'm saying is we find out what spells were in the Book of the White that might reverse some of the spells done on him."
Kit stilled completely, turning his head to glance at Jaime behind his shoulders. "You think the Book of the White can change what was done by the Black Volume?" He asked slowly.
Jaime didn't catch his tone and just eagerly agreed. "It's possible. All I'm suggesting is a fail safe, just in case."
Kit didn't hear anything else. It was stupid what he was thinking, worse it was an utter betrayal but it was just as Jaime said, a fail safe. It was only smart to have the option, even Ty would have to agree with that, even if he wouldn't agree to this. Just because he agreed to help Jaime didn't mean he would actually use the spells, but if he needed to there would be the possibility…
"I'll help you," he heard himself say while the other part of him told him to take it back.
"I knew you would, now I really am relieved your still alive," Jaime joked.
Kit gave him a dark look. "If either Dru or Ty find out about this we'll both wish we were dead."
Jaime looked at him with dark eyes. "You don't have to remind me, I started this remember?"
Kit gave the T-shirt he still had fisted in his hand a squeeze. The material felt rough against his open wounds, the rawness of the pressure put this moment into sharp focus.
This was his chance to make a different choice, Ty had thought he stopped fighting, but did he?
But if he could really give up he would have done so long ago.
There was something in his heart that would never let go of him.
"That won't matter to him.." he muttered before pulling himself out of his thoughts. "Got any leads?"
Jaime scratched his head. "Not a lead exactly. What do you know about Pandemonium?"
Kit looked up in surprise. He slipped his injured hand in his pocket before turning to face Jaime.
The expectant look he was giving him would usually make him feel pretty smug. But Pandemonium was so seldom talked about it was almost taboo, especially considering it's history. Not even many Downworlders knew about it anymore. The few of them who did, would rather they didn't. Not even Johnny wanted to get involved with them, at least not without a huge pay off. According to him they were little more than a zealous cult, and a powerful one.
"More than most," Kit answered, "but that doesn't mean much where they're concerned."
Jaime's face lifted in excitement, "I knew you were useful, no matter what anyone said."
Kit just frowned. "You wouldn't be excited if you heard things I did about them. If you're planning on getting them involved-"
But he was cut off. "No, I think they're involved with the Cohort, I saw one of them with a mundane that was wearing their emblem," he started to explain before looking puzzled. "Why did you think they would help with the White Book?"
Kit grimaced at the idea they were helping the Cohort, if that were the case they would have to get involved with them somehow. "A long time ago when they were founded the leader, they called him the Magister, owned it," He admitted.
Jaime looked like a cat about to pounce as he leaned forward and said, "two birds with one stone. Diego always said I had the Devil's luck."
"That's a nice way of phrasing it, considering you're suggesting we go on a suicide mission," Kit shook his head.
"It's either that or do nothing, and I'm not backing down now." Jaime turned resolute.
Damn him, Kit thought, because he was right and that was probably the worst thing that happened to him this day thus far. "We have to find some members before we do anything else," Kit relented.
"What about at the Shadow Market?" Jaime asked. "I was just there and I can tell you it's not going to be easy to get in, they've started enforcing a very aggressive anti Shadowhunter policy."
Kit had a sneaking suspicion he knew who had slithered in to take his place back at the Shadow Market with Hypatia Vex living in exile, but the mention of it brought back the memory of another unpleasant Warlock.
A smile twisted on his face as Kit remembered, "the Old Man."
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Ty had spent the rest of the night trying to comfort Livvy. It was alarming that she had broken down into hysterics out of nowhere. He had never seen her like that even once, and what was even worse was that she refused to talk to him about it.
She had never held anything back from him, for the first time he felt at a loss of what to do.
Besides being there, he couldn't offer her much but to sit with her in her old room surrounded by all of her familiar things. After a while he left her alone to sleep, but when she crept back in his room in the morning he was up in an instant.
"Ty? Are you awake?" She whispered into the dark.
Ty sat up, rubbing the weariness from his eyes. "I'm awake," he told her, ignoring the fact that he wasn't when she first entered. She knew he would have been asleep, but came anyway which meant she needed him.
"What's wrong?" He asked her.
She came to sit next to him on the bed, pulling her knees up to her chin and wrapping the blanket around her back. She didn't deny that there was something wrong but she didn't answer either. "It's weird being separated now. I'm used to you always being there when I had something to say, and I realized we didn't talk last night," she was still whispering like she was afraid of waking people up even though it was getting to be later in the afternoon.
Ty knew it because his body was telling him he should be up already. It was hard sometimes to make himself sleep in when his usual routine was thrown off. "You can talk to me now, I'll listen," he reaffirmed. He had told her that a number of times last night when she cried into her hands in front of him, unsure of what to do for a Livvy that kept things to herself. He hoped this wouldn't be a new habit, and that she wasn't trying to exercise her new autonomy in a way that would hurt her.
"So can you," she said earnestly. "What happened with you and Kit last night?"
Ty was taken by surprise, not expecting her to ask about that. "I-" he looked away from her at a loss of words. He didn't want to tell her about the curse placed on them before she even had time to adjust to her body.
"Is it about me?" She asked quietly, reading the distress on his face.
Her brown hair fell on his shoulders, he could feel the warmth of her body sitting next to him. The room was dark but it was one of the most familiar places in Ty's life. Every book was in its place, his sketches still hung up on the walls above his desk. It made him feel like a child again.
Reluctantly, he asked "Did you hear what Magnus told us?"
"Magnus? When did you see Magnus?"
Livvy's spirit must have already been separated at that point, he concluded. "Do your remember what he told me about consequences finding me years ago?"
He looked back at her face to see her puzzlement, slowly blinking at him.
"When was that?"
Ty frowned. "You don't remember the warning he gave us?"
"No," she said slowly, "why has something happened?"
He studied her face. She looked different now in this Livvy's body. The scars that lined her face, and even though she was only a few years older than him, it somehow showed in her face. Perhaps because Ty knew his twin's face better the anyone's, even the slightest difference felt off to him.
"Hold on," he said, climbing out of the bed. "I need to write this down." He started for his desk where his notebook was. "We need to continue proper documentation in case there's anything wrong."
"Later," she said suddenly, scrambling off the bed and heading for the door. "Right now we really should be getting up with everyone else." She said with what sounded like false eagerness, and left the room without waiting for him or so much as looking over her shoulder for him.
Ty was left standing in the dark with his notebook in his hand. He lingered there, remembering Kit's warnings.
He put the notebook down, telling himself it was too early to tell. Anything could be the problem from spiritual jet lag to stress.
He shrugged on his hoodie, his hands immediately going to his pocket that held the wreath.
There was still time, he reminded himself.
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Ty had tried to bring Livvy to the weapons room where her saber had been placed on a mantel, but he could tell his sister was distracted as she carefully picked it up, testing the balance in her hands.
People were peeking their heads in to have a look at her. More than once did someone cross over to try to have a word with her.
Ty had tried at first to convince them to leave, but they looked past him to get to his sister. Livvy had done her best to react to them warmly, treating them like she knew them. But he saw the strain under the effort and the tension she held herself with.
Eventually, Ty was done putting up with it. "Let's go," he interrupted a young Shadowhunter who had been enthusiastic about her recovery.
"Hey, who are you to order anyone around?" He turned on him. "I'm not done talking yet, and there's more important things going on then your family reunion."
But Ty didn't bother saying anything back, just lightly pulling his sister away from him.
As Livvy turned away from him, he reached out for Ty to reel him back.
"Just cause she's your sister doesn't mean you control her-!"
Ty caught his hand before he touched him. "I said we're leaving." He let him withdraw his hand, but the angry look on his face didn't change.
Livvy pushed herself in between them, she touched his shoulder lightly, but Ty noticed how hard she gripped her saber in her hands. "Listen, we will talk later." Then she stopped smiling, her grip on his shoulder tightened. "But if you try to touch my brother again there will be no discussion." The point of her saber found its way to his midsection.
They stared at each other for a moment before Livvy let him go, and shrugged off her jacket. She turned to have her back facing him, there was a giant tattoo, not a mark, of the mourning rune visible through her thin tank top. "Understood?"
It surprised Ty that the other man agreed, "understood," he said quietly, his eyes on her tattoo.
"That didn't go well," she muttered under her breath as they walked away.
"No it didn't," he had to agree.
She started to say something else when another person from Thule came up to them, this one at least they both recognized.
The koi fish tattoo on her face curved as she smiled when she saw them, "Livvy, I heard you were awake."
Livvy almost gasped, "Diana.."
Ty wasn't used to seeing someone from Thule that he knew so well either.
"And this is must be your twin, Tiberius," she acknowledged.
Diana wouldn't have known him, or many of the other Blackthorns either because in their timeline she never got the chance to come and work as their tutor.
Livvy was rendered speechless, and Ty didn't know how to cover up for her.
Fortunately, Dru came down the stairs and saw them.
"Diana!" She called, the little black crosses in her ears swinging as hurried towards them.
"I'm glad you're here," Diana said to her before turning back to Livvy, "now that your back we have some things we need to discuss with the others."
"We can do that later," Dru cut in, much to the twin's relief.
Diana frowned, "I've been hearing that a lot lately."
"Excuse me," Livvy said quietly, slipping away from the group.
Ty made to go after her.
"Alone," she clarified for him, making her way to the kitchen without him.
Ty stood baffled at the rejection, and keenly aware that everyone was watching him.
Dru hesitated her conversation before turning back to Diana. "She's just having a hard time readjusting, but she'll bounce back."
"She better, and soon. You have done a good job covering her, but we need her."
Diana stalked off, leaving Dru and him alone.
"I'll get her caught up with everything, I have photos of everyone I can use to teach her about everyone like flash cards," she reassured him.
Ty just nodded. At another loss, his eyes automatically swept the room looking for someone else. But instead he found his little brother staring at him from where he was lounged on one of the couches.
Ty excused himself from his sister and walked over to him taking a seat by his brother.
Tavvy had gotten ahold of one of the mundane gaming consoles, apparently the older Shadowhunters had bigger concerns then enforcing the laws against mundane technology.
"Is that really Livvy?" Tavvy asked in a low voice.
Ty nodded, "but no one else can know but our family, it has to be a secret."
Tavvy fidgeted in his seat. "Except for Kit, right, your going to tell him?" His nose scrunched as he said it, his eyes narrowing and his brows furrowing.
"He already knows," Ty said, confused at his little brothers expression. "Have you seen him anywhere today?"
Tavvy turned his face to the side, his bottom lip sticking out. Ty was pretty positive now that he was pouting, but he didn't understand why. "Why doesn't he go home? Doesn't he have his own family? That's why he left to begin with, right?"
"It was more complicated than that, it was because of what I did to bring back Livvy," he tried to explain.
"What's the problem if it worked, she's back isn't she?"
"For now," and he said the next part reluctantly, but he wouldn't lie either, "but we don't know if that will last."
Tavvy got very quiet, Ty could tell it had upset him.
"I don't see why he's still here," he said again.
Ty was very confused now. "He's here because I want him here. I don't understand why you're upset with Kit."
"Nevermind," Tavvy muttered, rolling off the couch, his game in hand.
Ty stared helplessly at him as he left down the hall. He remembered being able to entertain his brother by telling him animal facts about his favorite stuffed animals, or listening to music together. It had been easy to distract him and engage him back then, but Tavvy was older now and Ty realized now for the first time that he had no connections with the person Tavvy had become.
He didn't know what books he had liked to read or if he liked to read, if he still liked to play with race cars or how far in his training he had gotten. Ty had thrown himself headfirst into preparing for the Scholomance and the case for the missing Mortal Instruments to keep himself occupied, looking to give himself a purpose.
Even with that, he had failed. He let himself get caught up in being the one to solve the mystery and prove to himself that he failed to protect the mundanes he was trying to find.
As it was, he was the only one besides Kit who knew where they were buried. He could have told Luke before they went to Faerie what they had discovered, but that too he kept to himself to protect Kit. And now upon their return a year later they're on the brink of another war. He couldn't say for certain if he had given the information to Luke and trusted him that things would have worked out better, but as it was Ty had the responsibility to fix his mistakes, for everyone.
As he stood, he wished Kit was beside him, he wished he at least knew where he was, and if he had left.
He couldn't dwell on Kit's whereabouts or their fight and what that meant for them, if that meant things were already over and Ty would have to find away to move on from that. But he meant what he promised him, even if Kit stopped believing in him. And even still he believed in his mission when he first put the case files together that lead him to the Academy.
All he really knew right now was that he had to start fixing the things he had broken.
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Livvy splashed her face with water from the sink. She could see her reflection in the dark of the silver metallic surface but that wasn't what caught her off guard. Everytime she had caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror she was taken by surprise. She was older than she expected, rougher looking.
Her fingers brushed the scar that ran from her eye to her cheek, it was the most prominent one on her face amongst many scars that didn't belong on her body. It was like waking up to find out she had been in a car crash, but each scar had a different story, a different experience that helped mold her into the person she had forgotten.
Nothing reminded her of that more than the people who kept coming up to her expecting her to know them. The people she had to learn to deceive possibly for the rest of her life if she wanted to protect Ty.
It was impossible, all of this was impossible.
Touching the scar on her face, she thought she could almost hear a voice in her head urging to tell her what had happened to her.
It was like that earlier when she found herself breaking up an argument between Ty and the guy from Thule. There was a voice urging to tell her something important, and instead of brushing it away she listened, and then suddenly she wasn't quite herself. Suddenly, she knew of the tattoo on her back, she knew exactly who she had gotten it for, and there was an urgency to show it off, to prove how she felt beyond herself.
Like it had been someone else's will.
She splashed her face again to dispel the thoughts.
It had been less than twenty four hours, she was still adjusting to everything.
"Livvy?"
Someone else entered the kitchen, somewhere deep in her body responded to the voice before she even recognized it. She turned, his name on her tongue before she even knew what she was saying. "Cameron."
"Are you alright?" He wasn't wearing Shadowhunter gear, just a plain jersey and jeans, his head tilted to the side in concern.
Her heart felt like it was expanding painfully in her chest at the sight of him.
She looked away from him, trying to alleviate the strange symptoms that only seemed to appear when he was around. "I'm fine, I'm just... readjusting is all."
He nodded, coming to stand next to her at the sink. "I get that, you were out of it for a long time, everyone was really worried."
She couldn't help but notice with him standing so close to her how close in height they were, and how close in age. She never gave it much thought. With Emma being her older sister, sort of just categorized him in that 'older' category despite only having two years difference in age.
She snorted, "yeah, everyone apparently has something important to say to me."
"Uhh," he scratched the back of his head, the action catching her attention.
His red hair swept over his eyes as he looked nervously away from her, it was an attractive look. "This is going to sound awkward now, but I kinda have something I want to talk to you about."
her eyes looked up to the ceiling, sighing. "Shoot."
He nodded, looking far more serious than Livvy thought was appropriate. "It's not a secret you're rebels from Thule have been working on their own," he started. "I'm not exactly a Centurion or a hero like Jace Herondale or even Emma, so all I can do for the Clave is extra patrol duty. But I think, if I'm given the chance to do more, I can help you."
Livvy brought her hand up to rub her face, was no one else ever in charge in Thule besides her? She knew nothing about their operation or what they had been doing here for that matter.
"You're not trying out for the soccer team, Cameron, working against the Clave is serious." She opened her eyes, freezing as she heard what she said.
"Did..did Emma tell you about that?" He asked after a minute.
She didn't, she had no idea where the information that he had secretly wished to join a mundane soccer team came from, but for a moment everything about Cameron felt familiar, like she had a road map to him that she couldn't access. "Yeah, must have slipped her mind," she lied.
He gave a slight smile. "Yeah, that sounds like her."
"Look, I have to talk to Dru and get caught up on everything going on, I'll talk to her about it," she said hastily.
It was too much to be in this room with him, it was something she was starting to feel about everywhere she went in the Institute. She worried that no matter where she went from now on she would never escape the pressure of the memories held in this body.
Cameron looked relieved, a dopey smile lighting up his face. "Thanks, I don't know what help I can actually be, or if I can make a difference, but I don't want to be on the sidelines anymore."
She paused before leaving, something about what he said hit home. She understood that, she knew what it was like to be forced as a bystander, to feel small, like you can't make a difference.
"I don't think anyone thinks they can really do anything until they're placed in a moment where they have to choose. But I think we are all given that chance eventually," she told him.
"I think you're right, that's why when my time comes I want to make sure it matters."
She looked back at him, their eyes meeting.
It was the first time she thought she was truly seeing him as who he was. Not just Paige's brother or Emma's on and off again boyfriend.
But who Cameron was.
She couldn't help but wonder what he saw looking at her. If he saw her scars that told of the other Livvy's story or the girl he remembered as one half of a pair of twins and also wondered who she had become.
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Ash stood stunned at the sight in front of him. The plant life and flora had turned to grey ash at his feet, the large reflecting pool was black as ichor, a light dusting of ash scattered on its surface.
It almost looked like snow if he didn't know any better, but he knew his own work. The reflecting pool was the only part of the palace besides the tower his bedroom was in that was above the ground, perched atop the hill on a stone platform with pillars to hold up the stone ring that completely encompassed the moon as it sat just above, filling the pool below with its image.
It was always night here, with red ferns and water lilies that brushed up against the stone, the bright colors of the night sky of Faerie shone above; moving lights making their own trails in the stars.
Now grey ash covered the hilltop, the ferns and lilies were dead, the pool was unusable.
"You certainly threw a temper tantrum this time, boy."
Dread turned Ash's insides cold as he heard the Greater Demon's voice. A white snake coiled round one the pillars slithered down to the floor. He changed as Ash watched, from large snake to a tall man with cloven hooves.
Ash didn't answer him, staring at the moon reflected on the pools dark surface.
Sammael chuckled darkly, "You don't remember, do you?"
Manuel had told him he blacked out, it wasn't the first time this had happened and Sammael knew it.
"I remember what you did, that's enough," he prevented himself from reaching out to touch the black scar over his heart where Sammael had touched him. Ever since then the dark impulses from the Black Volume had become stronger.
"That magic in your veins cannot be stopped, I have hastened the process for you but now you must decide if you are going to be consumed by it or if you will be transformed."
Sammael lowered himself into the pool, it burned and sizzled, the bubbles boiling as it tried to devour him as he let himself sink into the pool. Steam arose, red welts formed on his skin from the acidity, but he relaxed, lounging his arms over the side like it was a sauna.
Ash looked at him in disgust as angry bubbles formed on his skin. "You gave me this power, but I won't be transforming into what you want."
Sammael's smile widened, showing large sharp canines. He scooped up the ichor in his hands letting it pour through his claws. "Lilith's blood calls to that power, and together it will purge every last drop of heaven from your veins. Just like this pool, you will change your blood to hellfire."
He stared as the liquid dripped between Sammel's claws, his heart pounding with what he knew was not only blood but that dark liquid. He felt his pulse quicken, blood and ichor passing through what had once been his heart, but now was only animated by the Black Volumes spells.
Ash couldn't deny he had hungered for the power that ran through himself. He had once told Dru that he didn't know if he would have paid what it had cost him if he had known it would come at the cost of losing himself. But now, standing against everything else, abandoning his dreams and the people he had tried to love, he didn't know if that was true anymore.
He remembered the dream he had the other night, if he were to burn, he would burn everything with him.
Starting with the Demon in front of him.
He lifted his eyes to Sammael's black ones, staring at him was like staring back at his father, soulless hunger staring back. Any trepidation he had once felt about being in the presence of a Greater Demon vanished.
"In that case I choose to let it consume me, so when the time comes I'll take everything you worked for, with me," he smiled.
The grin fell from Sammael's face. "You have no idea what you are talking about. You speak as though the Wicked Powers are yours, they have never been yours to command, you're merely a vessel," he hissed.
He leaned forward in the pool, the water hissed as it moved, skin peeled from his abdomen from prolonged contact. "When I have what I want, your precious Janus will have nothing to give you save for the husk I will create from this world. You will be consumed, but you will have nothing to take with you. Vengeance and righteousness will all ring hollow in this new world I will create from your broken body."
The low growl of the Demons voice, the threat he promised and malice laced within each word, somehow, could no longer intimidate him. He had lived with a demon whose slow burning humanity had somehow made him far more terrifying because Ash had to wrestle with the reality of sharing his blood.
Sammael watched with growing irritation as a knowing smile found its way to Ash's lips.
He had taken his father's blood and instead of becoming him, he turned it into wings to fly higher above his father's torment.
His powers may have been given to him, but now that they were his, he wasn't giving them back.
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Jaime met Kit outside the institute, standing on one of the bluffs, letting the wind hit his face, blowing back his hair. He was wearing light gear underneath his jacket, Jaime on the other hand decided to ditch the gear completely for a light tank top in the humid weather.
The sun was setting but that didn't mean a lot in a night in L.A. like this.
He held himself like he was ready for a fight already, as if he expected the changing winds to try to pick him up and take him away.
Jaime thought he often looked far too serious, but then again he had found his own mind clouded of late. Maybe that was something he could blame Kit for rubbing off on him.
"So, what's the plan? Like I said, it's not going to be easy sneaking in this time."
Kit gave a smile that looked like it had been cracked from stone. "I don't need to sneak in anywhere, remember? I know exactly where the Old Man's tent is. I'm willing to bet my manor house in Idris it's not an inch off where it always has been."
Jaime raised an eyebrow. "The same manor house that also belongs to Jace?"
Kit shrugged, "I'm not betting something I can lose," but his voice had no humour.
"I'm used to just discrediting your princess powers, I forget that there might be situations where they might be actually useful. What's the plan to get him to tell us what he knows?"
"I'll figure it out," Kit said with that same stony look, his hand brushing where his dagger was on his weapons belt.
"You'll figure it out? He's a Warlock with ties to one of the most powerful and influential organizations and you think we can just make him talk?" He asked, incredulously.
"We've gone up against worse odds, now shut up and take my hand already,"Kit held out a hand for him.
Jaime looked at him, it didn't sound like him. He was used to Kit being the cautious one between himself and Ty, but the look he was giving and the twisted smile from earlier were telling him something was off with him.
But he also knew Kit better than to expect him to tell him what was going on if he asked, and they still had to find a way to do this one way or the other. Besides, it was too much to ask for Jaime to start acting cautious now.
Taking a step closer, he ignored the warning signs and took his hand.
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Even with being used to using the Entiendad as he was, it was still jarring to find himself suddenly somewhere else.
But Kit didn't have any such problems adjusting. As Jaime was blinking in the new surroundings inside the now familiar lavender tent, Kit already had his dagger out lunging towards the old looking Warlock behind the desk.
He didn't have time to react to the intruders appearing out of thin air, and Kit had his dagger to his throat before he could even raise his hands.
Jaime was about to unsheath Durendal and stroll over to help tie up the old man when Kit pulled back his arm and punched the man.
Without a warning, and before the Warlock could respond to the assault, Kit flipped the dagger and drove it through the man's hand.
Athean Old would have screamed out but Kit grabbed his jaw and held it firmly shut. Only a muffled cry of agony escaped as his eyes bulged out as he stared at the blood pouring from his hand and out the other side and down the blade stuck in his hand.
Jaime stopped in complete shock at the sudden brutality, when Kit wrenched the dagger out of his hand and raised it again.
Before he could stab the man again, Kit rushed forward to grab his wrist.
But Kit brushed him off, letting the dagger hover in the air.
"Tell me what you know about Pandemonium!" He demanded, his eyes flashed savagely, and Jaime thought he had gone mad.
"What are you doing Kit?" Jaime demanded back, searching Kit's wild expression.
Still, Kit didn't look at him, all of his concentration was on the man in front of them. "Getting answers," He barely said through gritted teeth.
"This is more than getting answers," He said, in a low voice.
He had no idea what snapped in Kit's brain and what he was supposed to do to stop him if he tried something..
"Rook," Old breathed through his teeth, "you're supposed to be dead."
"Guess you didn't try hard enough, huh?" Kit grabbed his throat, pushing him back in his chair until the two front legs were off the ground. He held him just underneath his jaw where he could still breathe but where Kit could still put pressure.
Jaime looked between the two of them, something had obviously happened between the two in the past that he really felt like he should have known about.
Old smiled, blood colored his teeth from where he had been punched. "You know about the little trick I played on your friend? It's a shame his stupidity didn't do you both in."
Kit raised the dagger again, but Jaime caught it before he could plunge it in the Warlocks other hand.
"Kit! Get ahold of yourself!"
Kit pushed him away, letting the chair slam to the ground so he could knee him in the gut.
There was a crunch as Old pitched forward, gasping in pain and sending specks of blood on his coat.
"Don't," Kit started, his voice low and dangerous. "Talk about Ty or I will cut out your tongue."
Jaime gripped Durendal tighter, he completely believed Kit meant it. "Pandemonium," he tried to bring up to distract him. If he didn't find a way to keep Kit on track he had a bad feeling things were going to get even more bloody.
He was starting to get the feeling that this had something to do with the secret everyone had been avoiding around him. And if this Warlock had done something to Ty, then there really was no telling what Kit might do to him.
The only question hanging in his mind was what would he let Kit get away with?
An answer came in the form of sudden pain lanced through Jaime's arm, causing him to let go of Kit's wrist and recoil.
Kit didn't notice and continued to press the Warlock.
Jaime stared down at his arm. He could already see the stems of thorns moving under his skin as they began to press up against his flesh.
He should have known that stopping Kit would have activated the curse, but what else could he do? Let Kit tourture him, and over what? Whatever had set Kit off was showing a new side of him Jaime never dreamed existed. Jaime found himself afraid and strangely fascinated to find out just how far Kit was willing to go.
"If you know so much about it, Rook, then what do you need me for? What's it to you anyway?"
Kit examined his face, weighing his next words carefully. "You know what I know, I know this isn't just a club. I know what the experiments you've been doing you don't want the Clave to know about, the ones with Greater Demons. The only thing I haven't figured out is why your working with the Cohort."
Old's eyes widened, smoothing out his wrinkled face before he snarled. "You're the Sparrow that's been going around feeding people information, aren't you?"
Kit didn't miss a beat, rolling his eyes he said, "You bastards are so arrogant I knew it would go right over your heads. Rook, Crow, Sparrow? Come on, I wasn't even being subtle." He laughed, selling the part perfectly. Jaime might have even been convinced if he didn't know where he had been for the past year.
Unsurprisingly, Old bought it. "Damn it, I knew whoever was leaking information would want something eventually."
Kit gave him an aggressive shake, "well? I'm done milking you guys for information I want my answers!"
The Warlock grabbed Kit's hand on his coat with his own bloody hand, it slipped from the blood as he tried to grasp him. "I'm just in it for the connection, I'm not insane enough to get mixed up with their cult rituals. Only the highest members of their Court know the answer, but it sounds like you know more about it than I do."
"The Court?" Kit snorted, "Is this a magic society or a LARP group?"
"It's definitely a cult, and definitely ran by mundanes," Jaime said. "Whose part of their Court?"
"The higher members of the Court are kept secret save for the Magister who elects them, but I can tell you where they meet." Old wasn't giving much of a fight now, his face had turned a bleached white from the blood loss, even his speech sounded slurred.
Kit's dagger was back at his throat. "Well, what are you waiting for?"
"Old parliament building in London, Mundanes think it's a condemned library."
The pain in Jaime's arm was almost unbearable now, the thorns had broken through, peeling back his skin. Lines of red ran down his arm. His muscles screamed with the strain of holding up Durendal, and he knew he was wasting time he should be cutting out the thorns before they started spreading.
There was a wild gleam in his eyes as he said, "now that that's over with.." Kit picked up the Warlock by the neck, slamming him on the ground.
He tried to move to stop him, but his arm finally gave up, dropping Durendal to the ground. "Kit, don't!" He yelled.
"SHUT UP!" He bellowed, his knee pressed into the man's solar plexus with the dagger raised high. Jaime could see his body shake as he yelled, "This has nothing to do with you!"
Jaime pulled out a small knife that he could still hold, but he didn't know that would be enough to stop Kit, especially if he pulled out Caliburn.
Kit glared down at the man with more hate than Jaime had ever seen in anyone. "Everything, Everything is your fault!"
Old actually cackled, and Jaime could see the hate rising in Kit.
"I wish I could take the credit, but it was your Shadowhunter that chose to use the power source, and it was your fault that you didn't stop him!"
"SHUT UP!" Kit held him by the collar and slammed him into the ground again. "If you didn't help him everything would be different! We would be-I would be different!" He choked.
Jaime stood in shock, squeezing his arm just above the curse to cut off circulation while he watched Kit fall apart in from him.
He knew vaguely that this was partly his fault, that if he had bothered to care about Kit's distress earlier maybe they wouldn't be in this situation.
"Why? Why would you do that to him? He didn't do anything to you!" Kit pleaded to know.
Old glared up at him, a sickening smile twisting on his face.
"Because he was with you."
There was no response anyone could give to that, even Jaime was stunned by the maliciousness of it. No matter what Kit had done he knew Ty didn't deserve whatever happened.
He hesitated as the silence spread, he couldn't believe Kit would actually do it. He wouldn't kill a Downworlder in cold blood. Even if he had a reason Kit had been one of the staunchest supporters of Downworlders and against Shadowhunter oppression.
But the look Kit was giving him now, Jaime didn't know if Kit saw himself as a Shadowhunter a force supposed to protect humanity, or if he had digressed to Kit Rook, the criminal, the thief, the con artist willing to do anything, cut anyone to survive.
Jaime moved to late, The dagger swung down at the Warlocks neck.
Everything was still for a moment, and Jaime really thought he had killed him before he saw Old's body take a deep breath.
Kit leaned in close to his face, his dagger stopped short of his neck. "I want you to remember that I could have killed you, and you couldn't do anything to stop me. I want you to remember because next time you cross me or Ty, I will slit your throat."
Athean Old had nothing to say back, he just laid there until Kit released him, breathing hard in shock.
Kit pushed himself off him, turning to see Jaime staring at him.
For a minute Jaime really thought he would have to bring him down to stop him from murdering someone. It was like looking at someone else, watching the cold fury die away from Kit's eyes until he became someone recognizable again.
He took a deep breath to steady his uneven breathing, his eyes fell on the bloody mess of Jaime's arm. "What happened to you?"
Jaime laughed with a shake of his head at how quickly everything desculated. "You tell me your secret and I'll tell you mine?"
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"You really should try to see a doctor about that or something," Kit said, sitting on one of the rock cliffs by the beach, the lights of the institute was like lighthouse calling him back. Kit ignored it, looking back at Jaime's arm mending white scars from the Iratze he just placed.
He had told him about the whatever spell the Naga had casted on him and how it was apparently triggered by performing anything it considered Shadowhunter like behavior.
"If there's not a magic cure for the magic curse then none of your mundane doctors and their little needles are going to fix it," Jaime said, irritably.
"And you don't want to tell anyone because you're actually super considerate of worrying everyone," Kit looked thoughtful, "and apparently afraid of needles."
"Needles are far less scary than the Brotherhood he said darkly.."
"Yeah, I remember running into one without any context in my kitchen once. Talk about traumatic nightmares." After he exploded on the old Warlock he was feeling drained. It had taken everything out of him that he had been holding in. Now he just felt hollow.
Kit leaned back. "You're probably making a big deal about nothing, I doubt anyone is actually going to be worried about you."
Jaime threw a handful of sand at him. His grin faded as he looked at the waves crashing on the beach below them. "I can't believe the secret was necromancy of all things all this time, and it actually worked."
"In the long run, I guess, but not how Ty wanted," Kit sighed. He didn't expect him to be the one to tell Jaime, but after he witnessed his break down he couldn't just keep blowing off an explanation. He should probably feel more ashamed of everything that had happened but right now he was just tired. At least it was Jaime who had witnessed it instead of someone else, for some reason that was a relief.
"I think the only one surprised by that is Ty," Jaime said. "So, what are you going to do? You can't really be thinking of giving up now?" Jaime looked at him seriously.
Kit ignored the question, he wasn't about to tell Jaime everything. "There's nothing any of us can do right now, whether Ty likes it or not."
Kit thought back to their last fight, how he had hurt Ty with what he said. He wanted to take it back but he was afraid that if he did it would be a lie. How could Ty really expect him to believe he would break the curse if it meant forfeiting Livvy's second chance. He never would have imagined he could ever come to distrust Ty, but when it comes to this what else was he supposed to think?
Jaime eyed him like he knew better but didn't argue, instead he just started building a terrible looking sandcastle that looked more like potato then anything else.
Quietly, Jaime asked, "What stopped you back there? For a moment I thought you might actually do it. If I had known what happened I don't even know if I would have stopped you."
He looked to the sliver of moonlight that was Durendale on his back. No matter what Jaime said, the sword and even the new scars on his arms was proof he was a better man then he wanted to believe.
Not that he was going to tell him that.
Kit paused before saying knowing how cliche it was going to sound, "Because of Ty. No, don't laugh," he interrupted Jaime's snickering. "It wasn't because he would be disappointed or anything like that. It's because I wouldn't be a Shadowhunter if I had never met him, he was everything I was sure a Shadowhunter couldn't be, the kind of Shadowhunter I want to be."
Jaime just rolled his eyes and asked, "So, who do you think the Sparrow actually is?"
"I was lying when I said it, using information about the experiments I had known they did on Tessa to make myself seem like I knew more than I did, but I think it is me," Kit said slowly.
"Excuse you, come again?"
"I think it's the me from Thule, but I didn't want to believe I would be that stupid to make it so obvious." He thought about it more and grabbed his head in shame. "God, I really am that stupid!"
Jaime nodded sagely. "You've made a major breakthrough here today, the first step is acceptance."
"When are you going to have the breakthrough figuring out what psychological defect of yours makes you want to get punched all the time?" He threw back, but it had none of the edge he used to have when he fought with Jaime. Somewhere along the line they changed their constant anger and fighting to joking banter.
"What, it's how I make friends, you got a problem with that?"
Kit groaned dramatically. "Yes, I didn't want to be your friend."
"And yet here we are, telling each other our darkest secrets and plotting a secret mission behind everyone's backs together," he said lightly, knocking his sandcastle the cliff.
"I guess you better not mess this up for me or whatever this is is over," Kit gestured between them.
Jaime stopped smiling, his gaze falling back to the ocean and the receding waves. "Everything is over."
They both fell silent, thinking about what they were both risking, Kit following his gaze to the ocean.
Somewhere across that sea was Jem and Tessa, Pandemonium awaited for them as well as the Cohort in Idris. Somewhere under the sea was Lyonesse waiting for their King to return, and if he came here at the right time he would find a bridge he could cross that would take him to the Seelie palace where Ash Morgenstern sat on his throne and waited.
Kit looked down at his hand and the long red cut that ran along his palm..
They were all waiting on the edge of a knife, and the longer they waited the more they cut themselves on the edge. Soon someone would have to make the first move.
Maybe it would be him.
On another note thank you guys for sticking with this story for so long! God knows how long it is, but I promise we're heading somewhere I'm not making this up on the fly! This probably could have been split into a trilogy in which case we are in the last book.