Chapter 21 — Mitsuri

The Inter-High preliminaries pass quickly without much challenge. Of course, that's to be expected. Other than last year, it's been years since Rakuzan ever had any real trouble. They don't call us the Emperors of Creation for nothing.

Despite the team's recent discord, we manage to secure our place in the finals without much issue. I had convinced Akashi not to quit for now, but I can still see the weight of his father's expectations bearing down on him. Every now and then, though, he will look at me, with a contemplative gaze on his face. I'll meet his eyes, nod, and smile. Just that small movement seems to uplift him, and he'll return to practice with renewed vigor.

Summer break begins, and the team gets a small rest before the finals start. For me, the change in routine is startling. I'd gotten so used to seeing the basketball club — and Akashi — nearly every day that now, without them, I don't know what to do. Reiha still goes out every day with a ball in her hand, and I wonder if she's still meeting Ogiwara at the outdoor court, something she'd finally confessed to doing.

I spend my time around the house. I write another email to Mom, since Reiha seems intent on ignoring them, clean with Grandma, or watch movies with Grandpa. I'm glad to have the extra time to spend with them, since lately I've been feeling guilty. In the past, I had plenty of time during the evenings to hang out with them. But with the addition of the basketball club, plus increased homework as a second-year, my spare time has mostly been going to catch up on sleep.

I know my grandparents don't mind, but I'm glad to relax with them.

But still, there's a niggling in the corner of my mind. Something that makes me twitch, like an itch beneath my skin.

Finally, I can't stand it anymore.

I leave the house, with an excuse about getting some sun and — I find myself at Akashi's once again. Although the place is huge and totally different than what I'm used to, I find myself becoming increasingly comfortable there. It's because of Akashi, I'm sure. Wherever he is . . . well, I like being there.

Although it was slight at first, I can't deny my feelings for Akashi anymore. Especially after that semi-confession. Everything about him — his elegant manner, his passion for the team, even the insecurity he tries to hide. I find myself wanting to know more and more about him, and an hour rarely goes by where I don't think about him.

Of course, then comes the question: does he feel the same about me? I'd like to think so. While he's nice to everyone, it's only me he walks home with. It's only me he's told about his father. It's only me at his house today.

Yet . . . this kind of heady feeling . . . is that love? It's something I've always avoided, so I can't tell from experience. But if this is what loves feels like . . . maybe it's not so bad.

There's a smile on my face as I knock on his door. When I'd first left the house, with nothing more than a whim in my head, I realized I should probably give him a warning. Although we'd exchanged numbers as soon as I joined the team as manager, recently, we've been texting about more than just business.

He nearly always answers promptly, with perfect grammar, too, of course, so when a few minutes passed, I started to worry. It was such short notice — of course he'd be busy.

But then he'd replied, and though I couldn't read his emotions through the text, when I see him now, my grin widens. He has a smile on his face as well, and I'm suddenly glad I came. Is he as happy to see me as I am him?

"Hey," I say.

"Hi." There's a light in his eyes, one I feel like I haven't seen in a while. "I thought . . . it's a nice day out. Would you like to go riding with me?"

I'm taken aback for a moment. Then I remember he's mentioned a horse before. "Yes," I say, before I can really think about it. "I'd love to — I mean, I don't really know how, but . . ."

"You can ride with me, then," he says. Is it just me or is there a pleased look on his face as he says this, like this was his plan along?

Well, I don't really mind getting caught up in his trap.

He leads me away from the mansion to a smaller building, which I assume to be the stables. He walks to the place with an ease that only comes with being intensely familiar with the area. He opens the door for me, and I immediately like the atmosphere. The smell, not one you'd typically find in the city, and light streaming through the rafters, the feel of hay under my feet.

"This is the tack room," he says, opening a door to the side. "It's where we keep the equipment and feed. I think . . ."

I stand near the entrance of the room as he rummages through some boxes in the back. After a moment, he turns around with a pair of riding boots in his hand.

"These were my mom's," he says. "They'll probably fit you."

"A-are you sure?" I eye them, hesitant.

He nods, firm. "Yeah. Here. Sit."

I sit in the chair he motions to, and he crouches down before me. "They can be a little tough to get on at first," he says. He slips off my left shoe, and I feel my cheeks redden as his fingers touch my foot (even though I have socks on). The boots have laces on the back, which he undoes one by one, before slipping the shoe onto my foot.

It fits perfectly.

I feel like the Cinderella from Reiha's play.

He looks up at me, a smile on his face. "That feel okay?" He pokes my big toe in the shoe. "It looks like it fits."

"Yeah," I say, my face now bright red.

"Good," he says. He laces it up and then begins with the other shoe.

I like the feel of his fingers. I almost wish he'd give me a foot massage, though I don't think we're quite at that point yet.

After he's done, I stand up and admire the shoes. "They feel great," I say.

"Good. Let's go get Yukimaru ready."

Yukimaru. His horse. I remember him telling me she's pure white and was born around the time he was. From his tone, he seems very fond of her.

Yukimaru is one of three horses in the stables, with her stall being on the far right. She nickers happily when she sees Akashi. He spends a few moments rubbing her nose and whispering to her, then he leads her out to meet me.

"Hey," I say softly. I reach forward, then hesitate, casting a glance toward Akashi.

"It's fine," he says.

Her muzzle is soft and wet against my hand, tickling my palm. I let out a laugh. We've never had animals, but now, I'm almost wishing we did.

Akashi slips the bridle over her head, which she accepts easily. Then he lets me hold the reins while he walks me through the rest of the process of getting her saddled.

Finally, he declares us ready. "I'll help you out," he says.

I hesitate. I'm really going to ride with Akashi? I'm not sure I've ever been so physically close to him before. But I guess this is the next step after hand-holding.

Moving toward the stirrups, Akashi instructs me to place my hands on Yukimaru's back, one foot in the stirrup — and the other in his hand. I feel bad, like I'm stepping on him, but he pushes me up into the saddle with no problem at all.

"It's so high," I gasp. I barely have time to get used to the new sensation before Akashi's lifted himself behind me.

His chest presses up against my back, unrealistically warm, and he reaches his hands around me to hold the reins.

He must be able to feel the heat emanating from me now.

I grab the horn of the saddle as Akashi spurns Yukimaru. He starts easy, just a walk. Once Yukimaru takes us out of the stables, he lets her go faster, all the while telling me about the different gaits of horses, as well as stories about him and Yukimaru.

I can barely concentrate on them. He's so close.

"Do you want to try a bit faster?" he asks me, after we've spent about ten minutes just wandering around his house.

I nod, though I'm scared to death.

"Don't worry," he says, and just like magic, his soothing voice begins to clear up any doubts I have. "I won't let you fall."

Then he nudges Yukimaru and she jumps into a canter. I let out an involuntary shriek, but then I remember Akashi's arms around me — and we're flying.

My cry of alarm turns into a laugh of delight. The rolling green hills stream past us, blurring into the background, and all I can feel is the wind in my hair, the strength of Yukimaru's legs moving beneath me, and Akashi's gentle touch as he steers her.

We spend more than an hour on Yukimaru, slowing, sometimes stopping, then breaking into a run again. I learn more about his childhood, how much he loved his mom, and the unrealistic expectations his father places on him. In turn, I tell him about my first experience in a place that wasn't Japan, my relationship with my grandparents, and childhood stories with Reiha.

The sun starts to set all too soon. Akashi looks up at the sky, realizing at the same time.

"Do you need to go home?" he asks.

I usually have dinner with my grandparents, but . . . "No," I say.

"Then stay for dinner," he says. I'm about to accept when he adds, "My dad isn't here tonight."

The stables are in view now. I frown and wish I could turn around to face Akashi. "You . . . are you scared of your dad?"

He stiffens behind me, and I regret the question. It's not my business — Akashi's already told me more than enough.

"I'm sorry —" I start.

"No, you're right." I fall quiet at the sound of his voice. I wait for him to say more, but he just directs Yukimaru back into the stables before fluidly dismounting.

The absence of his warmth feels stark.

I take his outreached hand and begin to dismount — but my left foot gets stuck in the stirrup, and —

I feel arms around me, then Akashi is lifting me and placing me on the ground.

"Careful," he says, his voice no more than a whisper. His arms are still around me, and when I try to look up at him, he buries his face onto my shoulder.

"You're right," he breathes out. "I am scared . . . of my father. I'm scared he'll make me quit the basketball club. But more than that, I'm scared he'll stop me from seeing you."

Shock fills me at his confession. So are his feelings really . . . ?

"Mitsuri." He lifts his head to look me straight in the eyes. It's the first time he's said my name.

I tilt my head and say, "Seijūrō."

A corner of his mouth lifts. "Thank you for being with me. Please stay."

I'm not sure if he's referring to dinner or . . . more?

Whichever it is, I accept.

A/N: Yay, we get to see Yukimaru! And Mitsuri's acknowledging her feelings! There's kind of a trend in romance where people either fall in love instantly or they deny it for a long time or they're not even aware of it. I mean, yes, of course, passion can lead to love, and it's hard to understand feelings sometimes, but I like the more gradual friends-to-lovers kind of thing. (Although enemies-to-lovers is great, too.)

Thanks for reading!

~ J. Dominique