22. There is Something You Must Cut | Part I
Retrace and Recede, There is Nothing to be Deceived.

Once upon a time, under a smiling moon, the Fire Pillar met the Millennium Earl before Tomioka Giyuu's gave.

It was an unpreventable tragedy, even if they had not crossed paths that day.

The twin scars on the underside of Tanjirou's wrists were staring back at him. They looked as if right above his veins, and the familiarity of the scars were strangling- Allen gazed at them with sad eyes.

Marks like crosses engraved into flesh. Marks that resembled the ones on Lenalee's legs.

The next stage of an equipment type anti-AKUMA weapon.

Something cold gripped Allen's left shoulder, and he tried to hold back a shiver.

"... Does it hurt?"

Tanjirou's lips were pressed into a thin line, almost pouting- he looked so young, too young.

"Kind… Kind of," Tanjirou said slowly, eyes drilling holes at the scars. "Throbbing, a bit. I don't know…"

He looked up shyly.

"Mister, do you know what it is?"

The world was closing in so rapidly. Allen held his breath.

"... I… I don't know."

Tanjirou's shoulders drooped, and-

Allen wore a bright grin. "Let's figure it out together, shall we?"

When burgundy eyes widened and beamed at him, Allen couldn't help but feel something breaking in his heart.

A dilemma.

"Hey, let's… Let's get something to eat, alright? It's getting late, I'm starving!" Allen said, voice light and extending a hand to the other. Blinking, Tanjirou brightened and took it.

After a few rounds of poker, Allen got them enough food for the night.

Allen had always considered Tanjirou, Kamado Tanjirou Lee, as a very amazing individual. Despite his small frame, something about the swordsman made the sight of his back clad with breathtaking reassurance. It was dazzling, and like that time when the headquarters was attacked, Allen couldn't help but only stare.

He remembered the pressure on his face as the general leaped down from the edge, wind carrying him and blade slicing through dark energy. Water spewed into life as a dragon formed, Tanjirou dancing pass the level four with concise, light steps. His feet barely touched the ground, and when they finally do, it shook the world with the strength of a beast.

A master swordsman.

And a very kind soul.

So when the teen finally learned of his past, he couldn't help but be heartbroken by the fact.

Like an AKUMA, Tanjirou was brought back to life. But unlike AKUMA, instead of Dark Matter, it was Innocence that tied his soul to the living plane.

Innocence was supposed to be something that brought hope. Hope to defeat AKUMA. Hope to free AKUMA. Hope to defeat the Noah. Hope for hoping, hope to save others from tragedies.

(A distant look as the Fire Pillar stood before his people.

"I will slay all of them.")

Like an AKUMA, Tanjirou was brought back to this world by the Innocence. Again and again, and he wondered if this would keep going until the swordsman's body should be fully destroyed.

Allen couldn't understand. A finger from his left arm twitched, and he couldn't help but be angry and sad.

Why, he thought. Why?

Please. Tell me.

I need to know why.

The crowd cheered as the clown tossed up a hoop and then another. He hopped onto one leg and smiled and pulled out colorful paper. A gust of wind blew, and Allen looked up. The sky was very blue during this winter day.

He took a bow. His audience clapped.

Five minutes later, hand holding onto the other's and the two on their way, AKUMA peeked out from every corner.

A journey of three was vastly different compared to one of two. It was harder, much harder, but Allen could take it.

He needed to.

But as it turned out, the thought of "I have to protect Tanjirou now," was… Not really needed, actually.

He still had to keep an eye on him, of course, but he didn't need to baby him or anything. Allen realized.

Because Tanjirou was once Lenalee's older brother as well.

A reliable older brother. And in another life, the eldest son... Of a traditional family.

Carrying boxes with careful steps, Tanjirou helped with simple errands without complaint. He was eager to help, actually. Always cheerful.

"I heard honey with ginger good for throat!" He chirped at another errand boy who had knelt down coughing. Allen, once again, could only stared at him amazed.

Without needing to be asked, without hesitation or a second glance, Tanjirou immediately acted when one needed help.

A very kind child he was, Tanjirou of the past. Allen stepped forward and supported the sickly child.

One thing Allen was concerned about was the fact that he was too kind. Too trusting. He had such human qualities, but… The places Allen was taking him to. They were not exactly warm, not to mention safe, and it hurt thinking about all the bad things that could happen.

But don't think so negatively.

But don't think so naively.

Taking off his worn out scarf, he wrapped it around the errand boy's neck. When the kid hesitated, Allen only beamed and stepped back. He made no motion to get nearer to the kid.

"Let's go, Tanjirou."

"Ah! Okay. Bye bye!"

A blue spider lily had begun to grow. The kid stared in awe at their receding backs.

They went to places, or more specifically, Allen took Tanjirou to places. Tanjirou had no idea where he was or where to go, and as much as Allen felt how wrong it was, he couldn't possibly just leave him alone!

So he took him to places.

(Lenalee was going to skin him alive for giving Tanjirou a tour around the redlight district, he knew it.)

But really, he had no choice! It was his only source for cash! Poker! How else was he going to earn a living (and get those debt sharks off his tail)? Aside from occasional street performances, that was.

"Are we going to dress up like women?" Tanjirou asked a bit too enthusiastically.

Allen stared at him.

"... Where did you get that idea from?"

Card-like earrings swayed as the swordsman shrugged.

Tanjirou's weapon was wrapped up neatly with a discarded tablecloth. While Allen never intended to stay at one place for too long, the spider lilies that would grow at his companion's feet only ushered them to move quicker.

They had three pursuers: the Noahs, the Black Order, and then the Apocryphos. There was no way Central didn't take notice of Tanjirou's disappearance, especially after everything they had done to revive the demon slayer.

(Not to mention the Second Exorcist Project. Thinking about it just made him want to throw up.)

And… Innocence. In the end, that sword carried on Tanjirou's back was still Innocence. An anti-AKUMA weapon and potential heart.

The Blue Spider Lily, Zuu Mei Chang had called it. The flower that granted wishes.

At least they- the Black Order- probably don't know that Allen and Tanjirou were traveling together yet. Allen planned to keep it that way.

He hardened his resolve when AKUMA attacked. Cold sweat had broken out the first time they appeared when Tanjirou was by his side.

But now- but now.

Fourteenth, they chanted.

Fourteenth, they called.

Allen, out of costume, pulled out Edge End with his white cloak acting as armor.

Breathe, he remembered.

Breathe, Mana had said. The old perriot was smiling gently as snow fell.

Cool air rushing through his throat to his lungs, Allen breathed. In detail, he saw the souls of the AKUMA, weeping and weeping and weeping.

Tanjirou sliced through an AKUMA with a trained blade. A flicker of red lit up and vanished.

Tanjirou never forgot how to fight as well.

They were running. The first time the AKUMA had appeared, the first time they did when Tanjirou was with him, Allen had broken out into a cold sweat.

Of course he had thought of the possibility- AKUMA were basically waiting at every corner.

But- but still.

It was terrifying, because Tanjirou was a child.

"Ah!" The swordsman squeaked as Allen quickly grabbed his arm and ran. It was dangerous, too dangerous. His left eye was throbbing, and Allen forgot.

AKUMA. AKUMA. They were his reason. His reason to fight.

AKUMA.

"Mister!" They continued running. Run to somewhere safe. Run to somewhere far- there were too many people here. They had to get away.

Allen had to get away.

Almost, just almost, Allen let go. There was a nice elderly woman they had helped back in that town. She and her son moved around a lot, maybe Tanjirou could stay with them. Maybe. Tanjirou's sense of smell was also very good, he would tell if people were bad and- well- stuff. Right?

But before he could, Tanjirou spoke.

"Mister, the nii-chan looks in pain."

Allen stared at him, and maybe a dozen AKUMA crept out from the shadows around them. His left eye was throbbing, but wide eyes could only stare.

The look in Tanjirou's eyes were odd. It was as if they were… Clear. Wide and clear.

And… And the mark on his forehead.

It was… Swirling. Like flames.

And suddenly, Tanjirou was a master swordsman, blackened blade drawn and turning red.

They destroyed the AKUMA and freed their souls.

There was always a pattern with Tanjirou's memories. He was always a kid, never older than ten, but sometimes, he still gave off this air of… Allen didn't know. Something. He still acted the same way, though. Like a bright child, but then… He would suddenly have this air around him, and burgundy eyes were not so young anymore. The Japanese man would be gazing outside their room's dusty and clouded window, and something about him made him seemed so old.

Sometimes, Tanjirou scared Allen.

"Tanjirou?" Allen would start, eyes blinking away exhaustion as he got up from his spot on the couch. He let Tanjirou have the bed because he was still injured and weakened, despite the older's complaints.

Tanjirou hummed, still gazing outside, somewhere. Allen wasn't sure where, and he wasn't certain if he wanted to know.

Then just as abruptly, age was blinked away as Tanjirou turned around, a child's innocent gaze back in his eyes.

"Go to sleep, alright? Tomorrow will be a long day."

Tanjirou beamed in response, nodding as he sunk back into the bed. There were strings of moonlight trickling in from the window.

"Oyasumi nasai," Tanjirou whispered. Allen recognized that phrase.

"Goodnight," he replied.

The next day arrived. They quickly left the inn.

… It was still a funny thought, though.

Allen didn't want to think about it, but… Holding back an exasperated cry, he suddenly couldn't find the end of this strange tunnel.

How was this going to end? He didn't know.

How long could he still go?

A muted whimper. Allen stopped in his tracks.

Tanjirou had his fingers tangled in burgundy hair, tugging the tufts as if he was testing how strong he had to pull for the hairs to fall off-

"Hey," Allen tried to pry the fingers away from poor, burgundy strands. "Let go?"

Tanjirou had such a sad, confused expression on his face.

"Mister, my head hurts."

Allen frowned. Bending down to sit beside him, the runaway exorcist noticed how small Tanjirou seemed. Timcanpy made a quiet, concerned whine as it pushed itself gently against Tanjirou's head.

It sparked an idea, and Allen showed him a magic trick.

(A simple one, he must say- but he pulled out one red ball, and suddenly, there were four…)

Tanjirou's slightly eased expression let Allen knew it worked- albeit a bit, but enough for now.

…

That was right. Tanjirou's sense of smell.

Allen stared at him for a very long time.

For Tanjirou's sake, he tried to get himself happy and look at things from the bright side. Easier said than done, but it was better than nothing, right?

Tanjirou stared back at him.

With a gentle hand, the eldest son of the Kamado Family ruffled up white hair with a small, kind smile.

"There, there."

Allen wiped away tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He nodded, later covering his face with both of his hands.

How embarrassing, really.

He was having a dream.

Looking down to his hands, he noticed how sluggish he was feeling. It was an odd sensation.

Light crept out from the edges of the window. Silver gazed out of the window.

There was a stretching field of gold and his breathing hitched. It would keep happening, wouldn't it. This scenery. It would keep appearing.

Allen made his suspicions. It was the Fourteenth, wasn't it? His memories.

Allen was disappearing.

Placing a weak hand on the glass plane, he stifled back tears. It hurt. His eyes hurt and everywhere was in pain. Numbing. He dragged his hand down until it hit the window sill.

Dust flew. It was like sparkles of gold as they drifted about. They flew into the dimly lit room, and outside was a golden horizon. He hated this sight.

It was so, terribly peaceful.

Serene.

Debris and destruction was present during the incident of Alma Karma. Many people almost died and Kanda went on being reckless. Cloaked with Crown Clown, Allen tried to protect the defenseless.

Alma and Kanda were yelling at each other. It was this strange, deafening argument.

Kanda stopped listening, too.

When Zuu Mei Chang gave Allen part of his life to heal his broken leg, the elder's voice shook when he asked the younger a favor. He asked Allen to help them, Kanda and Alma, and he told him a secret. Allen wasn't actually sure if it was really a secret, though.

"The blackened blade is called the Blue Spider Lily. It is a flower that grants wishes."

The corners of old eyes crinkled.

"But the name Tanjirou gave it was Metsu, because of the character that was carved into it. I've committed too many crimes. Please, help them. Help Yu."

Allen eyed the blackened blade curiously. They were peeling the skin off potatoes.

At first, Tanjirou had clumsily attempted to handle the knife. After a few tries, the motion became smoother, and he happily showed Allen a perfectly peeled potato. Allen taught him a few other tricks after that, the older diligently paying attention and absorbing the information.

The next day, to Allen's surprise, Tanjirou was twelve.

There was a frown on his face, and with a tilt of his head, he looked at the runaway exorcist.

"It's strange. There's this… Other scent."

Allen blinked at him.

"It smells familiar."

Allen ran a hand through white hair. "A familiar scent, huh. Where is it coming from?"

Tanjirou continued to stare at him, and then he shook his head.

He later learned that Tanjirou's father had passed away when he was twelve. Allen gave him his condolences. Mana had died when he was twelve as well.

"Nezuko works hard. I hope she is okay."

"... I hope so as well."

Tanjirou could probably smell the wavering emotion drifting off from Allen. The burgundy haired swordsman gave him a kind, knowing smile.

The next day, Tanjirou was nine. And much later, Allen realized that it was just that Tanjirou forgot what was the number of his age, but he was actually the same person every day. Albeit, he acted slightly different from time to time, but still.

Allen was never one to think of theories or anything. Lavi was the one who did that, after all. Or Komui.

And suddenly, it was sad thinking about that.

They went to a busy city next. And then a smaller village. They hid among caravans, and before finders went to the carriage they were lurking at, they quickly ran away. It was a close call, blue spider lilies were threatening to grow.

"Do you know the… See… See-through world?" Tanjirou asked one day. Allen shook his head.

Like an excited child, Tanjirou talked about it. His father, Kamado Tanjuro, had told him about that world. You had to breathe right to enter it, and Allen could only stare in amazement.

The see-through world. He thought about the clear and seeing eyes that Tanjirou had, the scar on his forehead swirling into flames. Was it… That?

Tanjirou could see the souls of AKUMA, too.

Allen paused.

"... Can you enter that world?"

Tanjirou laughed. "Not yet, I don't think! I have to train very hard, like Father said!"

"Ah."

Maybe it was instinctive. Allen didn't know.

He tried breathing.

What hurt the most was actually the thought of Kamado Tanjirou Lee's death. Tanjirou wasn't him anymore- he had no memory of Lenalee or anyone. But the memories he does have was ones from the past. The far past.

Kamado Tanjirou Lee was no more, and it hurt thinking about that.

"Are you… Okay?"

Allen tried to smile. "Ah… Just a bit under the weather."

Tanjirou gasped, and before he could run off to get medicine or whatever, Allen quickly stopped him.

When snow started to fall, it made Allen think of the Ark. The day when they were trapped in it was absolutely terrifying. The Millennium Earl wanted to get rid of Lenalee, and Tyki made it into a game.

And it was also when that song spilled into his mind, and it was also when Allen realized.

There was something planted in his head. He did not like it.

Opening a gate back to reality, they were met with a tearful hug as Allen saw flickers of light floating like stars and snow. Kamado Tanjirou Lee hugged them so tightly, and he was crying.

He said something in Japanese. He kept saying it like a prayer, like thanks.

Thank the gods, Allen later translated in his mind. He softly returned the hug.

When Lenalee was sobbing as well, her hands trembling and hanging onto Tanjirou's coat, Tanjirou cried harder, his adopted sister held tightly in his they returned to the Black Order, Komui nearly threw himself at them. He was stopped by the Head Nurse, who was seething at the number of broken bones they all had.

They never laughed so happily compared to that day. Everyone was so, so relieved, and Allen had felt this sense of bliss.

His left arm came back, and he could continue fighting. He was able to continue living.

The cafeteria was warm, so was his family's presence. They were content.

Family, what a word. Allen had a family.

He dreamed of a storm.

During Alma Karma, Reever looked miserable. There was hurt behind his eyes, and Allen remembered how he was friends with Tanjirou.

Witnessing the sixth lab made his head spin. And at that thought, Reever, as a head scientist from the Black Order, probably knew of this. The look on his face was like Edgar Chang's, and it broke Allen's heart.

Why must this be so sad?

Kanda stabbed him with Mugen. He tried not to scream or yell or anything. He only laughed weakly, and Kanda finally opened his eyes.

He only stared in shock, and Allen pushed his hand forward, and it was the Fourteenth he met his eyes with the next time he woke up.

Nea. The Noah that destroys everything. Nea.

He saw Alma's soul later. And he realized, Alma was a lot like Tanjirou, but at the same time, he wasn't. Alma's body was Alma's, but it was artificial. Made for his brain. But to an extent, it was still his, as Tanjirou's body was also his.

He saw a woman shedding tears. She was covering her face, and a weak, whining sob reached his ears.

Stop looking. Please. Don't look.

Alma Karma was a tragedy.

But when Allen took it to himself to love both AKUMA and humans, he promised to stop tragedies as well.

Crown Clown became a sword. He tried his best that day, and he hoped that it was enough.

Lying in the snow and to the bottom of his heart, Allen Walker (the boy who was once known as "red arm") hoped that it was enough.

"Where are you going?" Lenalee had asked. Her hair was longer, and she looked terrified. "Where are you going, Allen?"

Something was falling from the sky. It plummeted, and the sight of it was eerily familiar. Eerily familiar, and ominous at the same time.

Lenalee, no. Don't get closer- run!

A giant pillar stabbed the ground before him, and suddenly, everything was gone.

Allen jolts awake with a start. Breathing heavily, he leaned his back against the wall, his mouth closed tight. He took a deep breath. Tanjirou sensed his surge of panic as he looked up from the paper crane he was folding.

"Mister?"

Allen shook his head. "You know, how you like… Uh, dream of yourself falling down? Yeah, that."

Tanjirou blinked slowly. He later nodded, looking back down to his crane. He held it up to Allen. Allen took it with careful hands.

Later on, Allen found himself humming that song. Tanjirou was sleeping, and Allen stared out of the window, gazing at what was visible of the moon.

His left arm had stopped feathering for a while. Was it a sign? The calm before the storm, he would assume.

His left arm had stopped feathering since a week Tanjirou journeyed with him. He did not think of the implications behind it. Everything seemed so surreal, and time never stopped. The world never stopped spinning.

He still felt the cold grip on his left shoulder, though, and the searing pain when he saw who killed his master. Apocryphos' mocking gaze. He shivered at the thought.

But...

Life was… It was a little less lonely, now. Though, he missed Jeryy's cooking a lot. And the warmth from the Black Order's cafeteria. He missed them. He missed their laughter, their smiles, their "welcome homes" and everything. Even the bickering with Kanda- he missed them.

He missed them lots, and at dreams of a beautiful sunset and wind rushing through golden wheat, he realized what must be done.

The sight of Edo echoes, and as always, Timcanpy watched.

The Blue Spider Lily was a wish granting flower.

Tanjirou hummed happily as he folded and folded paper. It became a hobby. He looked forward to see his family again- imagine how big Nezuko would become! Or Rokuta. Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru. He missed them, Father and Mother.

In the dusty and musty inn, there were strings of moonlight dipping in. He should be sleeping now, since it was so late, but Tanjirou didn't quite want to sleep yet! He folded the paper again.

"Knock knock, little bunny… From the little mountain," he sung. "Why are your ears so long?"

Something dropped on the wooden planks and a thunk sounded. Tanjirou blinked, and a whiff of something reached his senses.

He turned around.

Allen had sat up from the couch. His bangs were covering his eyes, and Tanjirou noticed how the star-patterned ball rolled out from Allen's briefcase.

"Mister?"

For a moment, he saw a glimpse of gold in Allen's eyes, the gold vanishing and turning back silver-

"Why are you still here?" Japanese spilled from the white haired teen's lips.

Tanjirou blinked again.

"Eh?"

Allen got off the couch and stumbled forward. He looked very, very angry.

"Why on earth are you still here?"

Tanjirou stared, and stared, and-

His eyes widened.

"Nea?" He started softly. The look on Allen's face did not change. "Nea… It's Nea!" He broke into a smile, eyes wide and he wondered why his friend and little brother was in the nice mister's form-

"Tanjirou!"

Nea, using Allen's hands, gripped Tanjirou's shoulders. It hurt, and silver seared into burgundy, and Nea smelled very sad and angry.

"You have to go. Go back home."

Tanjirou blinked again.

"Home?"

Nea nodded, and Tanjirou smelled raw emotions of sadness and desperation.

"Home," Tanjirou said again, tasting the word in his mouth and staring down to his hands, and by his feet, he saw little blue spider lilies grow. He remembered those flowers. He saw them at the edges of his house, such small ones, and Mother would tend to them gently.

Nea nodded again, and suddenly, Tanjirou remembered.

Soon, it was Allen, and Allen jumped in surprise. He was sleeping earlier, but for some reason, he was standing up and right in front of Tanjirou.

"Eh? Tanjirou, what's-"

Tanjirou smiled sadly at Allen. Allen paused at the look on his face.

Allen stared for a long time.

He realized.

"Oh."

"Mister, thank you."

Allen nodded. He looked a bit lost.

"Could you… Open a gate to Edo?"

"... Yeah. I can."

A pause.

"... So, I'll be seeing you off?"

Tanjirou smiled brightly.

The Blue Spider Lily was a wish granting flower.

Long ago, the Fire Pillar made a vow. Before his people, all tired and scared, he promised to slay all of Japan's bakemono, all of them. He promised to do so, but his body broke down before he could. He died.

Like all of the marked ones, who could not live past twenty five.

…

So the Blue Spider Lily revived him.

The flower revived him. It gave him a chance. A chance to fulfill his promise, and under the waxing moon, surrounded by AKUMA and AKUMA and AKUMA, Tanjirou was given another chance.

Because the AKUMA the Earl had summoned that night was all of Japan's. Because all along, the Earl was actually that child.

Allen closed his eyes, and shortly, he opened them again. One second, he looked at Tanjirou sadly, then at the next, he smiled finally.

"Have a safe journey, Tanjirou."

A gate opened, and Tanjirou stepped through the bright, serene light. He saw a glimpse of a beautiful, white town, white birds flying about. It was very nostalgic, and Tanjirou remembered.

Tanjirou always had remembered. It was sad thinking about it, but he remembered.

He never forgot, and the memory of the chained Ark echoed. Kamado Tanjirou Lee had stood under the moon, wide eyes staring at the beautiful city of Edo before it was destroyed.

His hometown. That golden-chained Ark. Timcanpy.

He clashed against the Earl, cloak fluttering and uniform fitted on his body.

"Kamado Tanjirou," the Earl had said.

…

He gazed softly.

Yes, of course.

Mana.

Exiting the Ark, he was met with the break of dawn and the fragrance of home. Burgundy eyes gazed ahead. He smiled, and the three week journey he had with Allen finally ended.

Once upon a time, under the same moon, Tanjirou met Mana before Giyuu's gave.

It has been so long.

… To children, promises meant everything.

Nea kind of guessed that Tanjirou always saw him as a child. An independent child, that was. Cross had always said he was pretty spoiled, so he supposed it kind of fit. Whatever.

"Between you and me?" Nea said.

Tanjirou smiled, nodding. "Between you and me."

"... Thanks."

Honestly, he wanted things to continue like this. Peaceful. Uneventful. Maybe drink a cup of traditional Japanese tea as they watch the sunset at the porch. Wouldn't it be nice? Tanjirou was so kind and naive and...

Ah… If only.

Really.

He hummed a gentle tune at the memory of his mother's kind touch when she sang her lullaby. Golden chains began to form as the Ark hovered above Edo. Light had sparked into life, and like snow, it dusted the world with beautiful white.

"What are you doing?" Tanjirou asked. Golden light was reflected in his eyes, and burgundy eyes were akin to rubies. Ember continued to gaze up to the night skies above.

...

"... A marker," Nea replied. He glanced at the blade-shaped Innocence by Tanjirou's waist. "So that I know where to go…

"if I (you) ever get lost."

Thank you for reading! Next is the finale.

ko.