Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl. Chapter Eighteen: Two of Wands.
DISCLAIMER: Daria is the creation of Glen Eichler and is the property of MTV Viacom. Harry Potter is the creation of JK Rowling and is the property of JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, and Wizarding World. The Fink-Nottle surname may well be the property of the Estate of PG Wodehouse, even though neither Cuthbert nor Edgar are canon Wodehouse characters. I do not own either Daria, Harry Potter, or the Fink-Nottle surname and do not seek financial remuneration for this fiction.
Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl* Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl* Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl
"I say, Daria, what are you doing here?" said Cuthbert.
Daria was almost equally surprised.
"Cuthbert?" she said. "Is that you?"
"It's me," said Cuthbert. "I didn't think to see you here."
"I didn't either until I got an invitation to go to Hogwarts," Daria replied.
"Super!" said Cuthbert. "Maybe we'll be in the same House."
Uh-oh, thought Daria. She hadn't read that part of the fine print. Cuthbert Fink-Nottle 24-7 at Hogwarts wasn't something she'd thought about.
"When did you find out that you were a witch?" asked Cuthbert.
"Last November when I blew a hole in my bedroom wall with a secondhand wand I'd bought at a flea market," said Daria.
"You didn't tell me about that," said Cuthbert.
"It was shortly after you and your folks left Highland," Daria replied.
Martha watched the children's interplay with amazement. This was not something she expected. These children already knew each other. As she listened to their interplay, she realized that they must have lived in the same town. She wondered if the boy already know that he was a wizard.
Her musings were interrupted by an older man greeting Mr. Morgendorffer.
"Jacob!" exclaimed Edgar Fink-Nottle.
"Edgar, my man!" said Jake with a big smile, "Good to see you!"
"And you!" said Edgar. "What are you doing here in London?"
"Well, my eldest has magic," said Jake.
"As does Cuthbert," said Edgar. "We're here shopping for school supplies. He's going to…" He paused, looked thoughtful, then continued "to Hogwarts," he finished.
"So is Daria," said Jake. "She got a grant to go to Hogwarts for a couple of years and Helen and I saw it as a chance to broaden her education." The lie got easier to tell with repetition, but Jake still felt his conscience bother him.
"Is Helen with you?" asked Edgar.
"No, she had to remain in Texas," said Jake. "She's trying a case and the judge and her firm wouldn't let her off. She might come here on the first."
"Pity," said Edgar. "I'd I've liked to have said Hello to her. So would Camille."
Martha had not only been surprised and mystified but also felt left out.
"Excuse me," she said. "Do you know each other?"
"Oh, how do you do?" said Edgar. "I'm Edgar Fink-Nottle and this is my son Cuthbert."
"We know each other," said Jake.
"I got sent out to Texas for my job and I lived in their town for a couple of years," said Edgar. "Camille and I met Jacob, his wife, and his daughters whilst I was living there. Our children went to school together and we became friends. Jacob and his wife saw Camille, Cuthbert, and me off at the airport when we returned to Britain last November."
"And your son is?" Martha started.
"He is," said Edgar, "otherwise I doubt we'd be here."
"Well, I suppose we ought to do proper introductions," said Edgar. "We've just met, this strapping lad is my son Cuthbert Fink-Nottle. And you are—"
"Martha Haddaway," said Martha. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"May I ask if you're shopping or if you're just sight-seeing?"
"We're shopping," said Edgar. "This young sorcerer needs a wand."
"Olivander's, I presume?" said Martha.
"That's the name of the place," said Edgar.
"What a coincidence!" said Martha. "We're going there too. Miss Morgendorffer needs to have her wand checked out."
My wand is fine, thought Daria. I don't have any problems with it. She thought about making a scene then discarded the idea. Cuthbert would be wand-shopping at Olivander's and she remembered all too well what a hassle finding the right wand had been for her. Maybe he could do with some hand-holding and moral support, she thought grumpily.
Olivander's was several blocks down Diagon Alley. It was narrow and shabby; Daria was not impressed with it. There was a sign over the door with peeling gold letters that read Olivanders: Makers of Fine Wands Since 382 BC. Daria let Martha open the door; it tinkled as she opened it and she, Daria, Jake, and the two Fink-Nottles went inside.
Olivander's was a tiny place. The show room was small: even the de-facto "showroom" at Mr. Sandoz's workshop back in Howard County was larger. It was well-stocked, though, there were long, thin boxes of wands stacked to the ceiling behind the front counter.
"Good afternoon," said a creepy-sounding voice. An older man with white, disheveled hair and a worm jacket and vest stood there on the other side of the shop's small counter.
"Miss Haddaway," he said. "Good to see you again. Alder wand, unicorn, nine inches. Do you still have it?"
"Yes I do," said Martha.
"And what brings you here?" he said.
"Well, I've brought a Muggle-born to buy a wand and a Muggle-raised girl to have her wand checked out," said Martha. "She bought hers from a wand-maker I've never heard of in Texas."
"I like my wand," said Daria.
"With your permission, I can settle your dispute," said Mr. Olivander. "If you would, could you please pass your wand to me and let me see it. I can tell you if it's appropriate or if you might want something better."
Arrogant English assholes, thought Daria. She reluctantly took her wand out of the long paper bag she'd concealed it in and handed it to Mr. Olivander.
Mr. Olivander took Daria's wand, first holding it in one hand, then placed it down on the counter and stared at it for a few moments. He then held the tip to his ear and paused as if listening to something.
"Could you please extend your wand-hand?" he said. Daria reluctantly let Mr. Olivander take her hand in both of his. Jake glared at him as he took the kiddo's right hand in both of his, then relaxed when he let it go. He then handed Daria's wand back to her.
"I see," Mr. Olivander said cryptically. "Now, could I ask you to give it a wave?"
That Daria was willing to do. She thought of the magical fireworks displays she'd made when she first held her wand, then made again while the nut-case was breaking into her house in Highland. The shop was lit in a swirl of blue and silver color as Daria waved her wand several times, then lowered it with a smile on her face.
"Just as I thought," said Mr. Olivander.
"Miss Haddaway, Miss _," he began.
"Daria Morgendorffer," Daria supplied.
"Miss Morgendorffer," said Mr. Olivander. "You possess a good, serviceable wand that has bonded to you and should serve you quite well at Hogwarts and in the years beyond, a wand that has already proven itself suited to your personality. If you fear that your wand isn't good enough, don't be: your wand is entirely adequate."
Daria's expression had already changed from apprehension to a smile.
"Thank you," she said.
"If I may, may I ask you if you know what wood your wand-maker used and what your wand's core might be?" asked Mr. Olivander.
"Mesquite wood with a Thunderbird core," Daria replied.
Their moment was ended by the flash of Cuthbert's camera taking a photograph.
"Thank you, sir," said Daria.
"I am not familiar with the wand-maker who made your wand," said Mr. Olivander. "Could I ask you his name?"
"His name is Eusebio Sandoz," said Daria. "He lives outside Highland, Texas in the USA."
"Could you tell him that he does good work for me?" said Mr. Olivander.
"I'd be happy to," said Daria.
She had a thought. "Mr. Olivander," she said. "Could I take a picture of you holding that wand and giving it a thumbs-up? I can give Mr. Sandoz a print when I go back to Texas next June. I'm sure he'd like it."
"I'd be happy to pose," said Mr. Olivander.
"Darn it, I don't have my camera with me,' said Daria. "Cuthbert, could I trouble you?"
Cuthbert took three.
-(((O-O)))—
Buying Cuthbert's wand took a little longer. Cuthbert's first wave caused a window pane to explode. After the first magical ricochet, Jake excused himself and stepped outside. At the third, Martha said that she needed a cigarette and stepped out too. That was after several rows of wand boxes flew off the shelves and spilled their contents onto the floor behind Mr. Olivander's counter. Daria and Mr. Fink-Nottle remained with Cuthbert and were with him when he tried his eleventh wand and found a match: English oak with a unicorn tail hair core. Daria smiled when Cuthbert's wand emitted a stream of yellow sparks.
"Eleven wands," Cuthbert complained. "I didn't think I'd ever find a match."
"Actually, I don't think that it took you that long," said Daria. "I must have tried three dozen before I finally had a match."
"I think even Quinn would call it quits after she tried on her twenty-fourth pair of shoes and failed to get a fit."
"Cor," said Cuthbert.
Daria remembered a line from a thriller she'd read some months back that had stuck with her: "Shaken, not stirred." She surprised herself by patting Cuthbert on the back and saying "Attaboy, it's done. You've got your wand."
Cuthbert gave a sign of relief.
"Good choice, Cuthbert," said Mr. Fink-Nottle.
"Mister Fink-Nottle," said Mr. Olivander. Daria couldn't tell if Mr. Olivander was only speaking to Cuthbert or if he was speaking to both of them. "Remember, it is the wand that chooses the wizard, not the wizard who chooses the wand."
They all decided to call it a day after Cuthbert bought his wand. Martha suggested that they have ice cream at Florean Fortescu's to celebrate before they went their separate ways.
Martha apologized to Daria. "I'd like to apologize for assuming that you had a dodgy wand," she said. "I'd assumed that since you didn't own a wand made by a well-known wandmaker yours might be—"
"Sub-par," Daria finished.
"Yes, that," said Martha. "My apologies. Pax?"
"Pax," Daria replied.
Daria and Jake shared war stories about when Daria bought her wand.
"I thought I'd be driving forever," said Jake.
"Mr. Sandoz didn't take chances," said Daria. "His showroom was a converted car garage and when it was time to try out his wands, he flicked up the garage door and made me wave my wand at the great outdoors."
Any ricochets?" asked Mr. Fink-Nottle.
"Only a couple," said Daria. "No damage done, although there was an empty oil drum and a couple of boulders that will never be the same again."
-(((O-O)))-