"Oh my god! What the hell is that smell?" Kelsey sniffs the air "God that's awful!"
Clay frowns, putting his nose closer to the car seat he's carrying to the door. He sniffs "Oh yeah! that's definitely him. We're gonna have to change him before we go"
"Oh, jeez, that's all we need right now! First he needs feeding, and now he poops." She lets out a long, rather tired and frustrated sigh "We're never gonna get there at this rate."
"Alright just relax and don't worry." Clay kisses her cheek "Stay there, I'll change him"
She takes a deep breath, looking at the time on her phone "We're already twenty minutes late. You know I'm never late for anything. Time keeping was always my big thing" she sighs again "God, my team would be pissing themselves laughing right now, if they were here. The times I pulled them up about the importance of punctuality and look at us first time we have to be somewhere."
"Hey, I said don't worry. Look, I already called Ray while you were feeding him and told him we are running late. He totally understood. He even laughed; said they would be running a book on just how late they thought we'd be. He didn't expect us to be on time"
"Well, I'm glad you find it funny, cos I don't!" she paces around the apartment, closing her eyes taking deep, supposedly, calming breaths. She's tense and anxious, and so very, very tired.
"Are you okay ?" he frowns, noticing that she's checking her phone again "You know, it's only a barbecue. No one's clock watching."
"Yeah I know, it's just ... " She hesitates with her words as she stands in the bedroom doorway watching Clay, expertly change the baby's diaper "Look Clay I ..."Pheww! She sighs nervously, biting her lip while she chooses her wording "This barbecue, there's something I need to tell you..."
"Here hold him a minute" Clay interrupts handing the changed and clean Casey to her "I'll just put this in the trash. God, it stinks!"
"Yeah well bring that bag down with us when we go down. Otherwise it'll smell the whole place out by the time we get back" She takes another hesitant breath, smiling at Casey has his big wide eyes look up at her where she's holding him against her chest.
"Right, I'm listening now... about this barbecue, what?"
"Yeah well um... I've got a friend... Oh my god, SHIT! Oh, shit NO!" she holds Casey away from her handing him back to Clay "Oh my god he's just puked all over me. Shit! Oh no!"
She can feel the exasperated tears well hot on the rims of her eyes " Here take my God I don't believe this, all over my top! Oh, we should never have said we go to this." She sighs looking at the baby vomit making a long mark down the front of her clean shirt "This is too much. I can't do this, not today!"
"Hey, hey come here. "Clay balances Casey against his chest, holding him with one hand and wrapping his other arm around Kelsey's neck while kissing her forehead
"Just calm down alright, we'll find a clean shirt. Hey stop crying. Kelsey c'mon, it's gonna be okay, it's not like anyone's going to be looking at what shirt you're wearing. This is about showing him off. Your shirt doesn't matter".
"Oh yeah great, thanks. Make me feel special why don't you!"
"Oh, hey look..." Clay sighs realising how crass that might have sounded "I... I didn't mean... I mean, you look great in whatever you wear. It doesn't have to be special"
"Yeah well I wanted to wear this. It was the only thing that I felt okay in . But... " Pheww! she takes a breath, closing her eyes trying to calm down " This is too hard. I can't do it"
"Yes, you can!" Clay laughs "Kelsey, it's just a shirt"
"Stop laughing. This is not funny."
"Sorry!" he bites his lip trying to stifle his grin. He can see how upset she is, but it doesn't make sense over something so small, like a dirty shirt. Plus, the situation of pooping and puke makes him laugh again. It's as if Casey is trying to sabotage them leaving "Look, we'll find you something to wear" He tries to hand Casey to her
"Just keep him away from me!"
Clay laughs again at the seriousness on her face "C'mon Casey, let's find your Mommy something to wear"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
"You okay?" Clay frowns as he looks over, watching her sat the passenger seat. Her head leaned against the window; eyes closed. "I said are you alright? Kelsey, answer me"
"Yeah I'm fine!"
"You sure? You don't sound like you are. You're not still upset over your shirt?"
"No!" she sighs, she is really but in her head she also knows how ludicrous it is to make such a fuss.
"Well what then? Did I do something?"
"No just.. oh, I don't know. Sorry I'm just so tired. This feeding every three hours is getting to me now. I'm just glad you agreed we could try those bottles that I got yesterday. I know you're not keen, but I really think it will help"
He smiles uncomfortably "Yeah, we'll see. Anyway, we'll be there soon then you can relax. We can have a nice afternoon in the sun, and Sonny's Barbecue food is to die for, but don't you dare tell him I said that"
"Yeah, everything will be great" She sighs looking down at the car seat fitted between them. Casey now snuggled down sleeping contentedly, his hand tiny hand wrapped around Clay's little finger as he rests his hand over the baby seat while he drives.
Turning away from them both so they don't see, she looks out of the side window, wiping hot tears away from her cheeks and silently sobbing in the back of her throat. She just can't stop crying and doesn't understand why. Checking again the button fronted tee shirt she's now wearing. It wasn't her first or even second choice. In fact, it was no choice it was the only thing clean with buttons that she had.
Clay pulls up and parks and lifts out the car seat as Kelsey gets out "You think we should take the pram?" she looks up " I was just thinking he could sleep then"
"No, it'll be fine. I ll carry him. You bring the diaper bag just in case we need to change him again!"
"Okay" she reaches in the truck foot well and takes out the blue changing bag then searches looking for the small white cool bag that contained the bottles she prepared earlier "Clay you did bring that bag with the bottles in, like we agreed ? "
"Oh, you mean the little cool bag that was on the worktop. "
"Yeah that one. Just I can't see it in here now. Where did you put it?"
" Um.. actually, I think in the rush to leave it got left behind. I mean, I forgot to pick it up again"
Huh! She frowns "What do you mean you forgot? How could you forget it was right there with this nappy bag? Clay that has the milk for him for today. You know so I could relax, like you said"
"Hey you can relax . Don't worry it doesn't matter " he puts his arm around her shoulder stroking her cheek "Look, they've all been there done it, no one will worry about you feeding him"
"Yeah well I'll worry. Clay, we have to go back and get it"
"No! No, we're here now, we're not going back from some dumb bottles. It 'll be fine. I mean it's not like you can't feed him is it"
"Dumb bottles!? What the fuck! Oh my god... you left them on purpose, didn't you?"
"Look let's not argue in front him." he takes a deep breath, then he can't lie he has to come clean "Okay alright, yeah, yeah I left them behind. I just .. I just don't want people to think that were not doing the best for him. You know questioning if we're being good parents"
"What the hell!? " she frowns "Are you actually serious? Not doing the best! Who's even going to be thinking that? What because we give him a bottle? You do know Naima gave her babies a bottle!?"
"Yeah well maybe you're right, but I just didn't want people seeing him having a bottle thinking we didn't try out best. It's only been a few days."
Kelsey's fuming with him now. She grinds her teeth hushing her voice as she can see the others walking over towards them "Clay, I don' t give a fuck what they think. This was to help me! Give me a break. I seriously can't believe you did this!"
He's pissed off that shes speaking to him with this kind of tone "Well you seemed to care enough about what shirt you were going to wear!"
Kelsey lip quivers and she takes a sharp intake of breath "Fuck you Clay!"
She's spewing in anger with him now, but it just causes tears to silently roll down her cheeks. Feeling rather pathetic for crying constantly, she takes lots of deep breaths trying to control them seeing Naima, Ray and Sonny head over towards them.
"Hi.. " she manages to paint a fake smile on her face covering the stinging angry look that she aims at Clay "How are you? Look sorry we're so late."
"We're good." Naima kisses her cheek " and hey, you're only forty minutes late that's actually impressive with a new baby. I'd have been at least an hour!" she smiles
"Yeah, well we err... we had a few accidents before we came. You must know how it is. Feed, poop, puke, rinse and repeat." Kelsey continues with the smile. So, forced that the corners of her mouth ache and her throat fills with the hurt from the tears she's trying to stifle.
"How you doin today? "Sonny nods towards Clay. He can't help but notice how quiet he's being. He knows Clay too well, sensing there's an atmosphere. "All that drama, hey I'll bet you could do with a cold beer right about now, yeah? C'mon over, we got some in the cooler by the barbecue"
Kelsey eyes look at Clay, she has the huge sneering stare on her face as she mockingly copies Sonny's voice "Bet you could do with a cold beer Clay! Yeah well couldn't we all!"
"Hey... ." Clay frowns "...stop it okay! I'm sorry about the bottles. I should have thought, and I didn't. I just didn't know it was that big of a deal to you. And I hope you're not gonna drink, are you?"
"Oh god forbid I might do something so unholy! Cos drinking when taking care of my son, that would make me a really bad parent right!" She sighs, staring hard at him before she storms off following Sonny, leaving Clay with the car seat and the bag.
Fuck! Clay sighs "Sorry little man. That's women for ya! You'll learn as you grow up, can't do right for doing wrong! C'mon let's go see Uncle Jason and Uncle Eric yeah..." .
Sonny's turning the meat on the barbecue as everyone gathers around. He takes the top off a beer, handing it to Clay. He smiles at Kelsey "You want somethin' ta drink? There's um... juice or cola and um...well that's about it really" he smiles awkwardly realising that they didn't really come prepared for someone who wasn't drinking.
"Actually, have you got vodka? Make mine a double if you have"
Sonny stares at her dead pan face "Um.. errrr.. you know...um... we ..No.. um." he stutters looking at Clay on how he should answer.
Seeing him awkwardly flounder at her request and the utter look of horror on Clay's face she smiles. A huge grin breaking out across her mouth "Oh, I'm just joking with you. obviously...juice will be fine!"
Ray and Jason both laugh out loud as they also notice the look on Clay's face "Oh come on Clay it was funny right?!"
Kelsey smirks. Mandy hands her a glass of orange juice "Hey.. " she puts out her hand "I'm Mandy, Ellis. I... I work with the team sometimes. So, Clay tells me you used to be in the Navy too?"
"Hey.. pleased to meet you, Mandy. Yeah... well technically I still am, in the Navy. I mean, I haven't resigned my commission yet and I still have a few more weeks to decide if that's what I want to do"
She notices the rapid exchange of glances between the group that surrounds her "Oh right.." Mandy frowns looking at Eric. "...so, what do you do?"
"Senior communications officer. Radar and comms mainly, at the Captains request on the bridge" she smiles sipping from the glass of juice. She notices the way Clay's awkwardly shifting position and the look he's giving her.
"Officer?!" Mandy frowns "Oh you should speak to Lisa here; she's just been through OCS made ensign"
"Oh congratulations" Kelsey smiles "Pretty tough, hey? OCS I mean".
"Yeah sure was" Davis smiles " um... what rank you make?"
"Sub lieutenant, sorry I... I don't know what the equivalent is here" She smiles "So Mandy, what do you do?"
"Oh um.. I'm more government based. Admin kinda thing"
"More spook type thing then?" Kelsey smiles
Mandy nods " I can neither confirm, nor deny that"
Kelsey nods as she checks the text that just arrived on her phone. Clay notices her looking at it as he takes Casey from the travel seat, handing him over to Lisa, she's been itching to give him a cuddle.
"Something wrong?" Clay frowns
"Um... no, no not really." she reads the text it says that Alex landed, cleared customs and will be with them soon " I do just need to have a word with you though. Can we go over there"?
Eric frowns looking at Jason "You know about this, that she's an officer?"
"Kind of... not exactly the details. I think it's complicated. But I did speak with Clay yesterday, he says it's not gonna be a problem. Says with the situation they're in, she's not gonna be able to go back, so it won't be an issue, he has it in hand. Why you think it could it be a problem?"
Eric sigh as he shrugs his shoulders "I'm not exactly sure. I mean different navy, no chain of command issues so I can't see why there would be a problem but... this is the navy right? And sometimes rules are rules"
Hmmm! Jason sigh "Okay well I'll have a word with him . Make him understand the potential conflict. Meanwhile can you look into it just in case?".
"Yeah sure" Eric nods as he now takes his turn to hold the baby. "Look Jason, while I'm here this situation in the Gulf that we were briefed on yesterday. Mandy's intel suggests that things are hoting up out there. Looks like this op might get brought forward anytime soon ... Is Spenser gonna be okay with that? I mean is he gonna be ready to go?"
"Yeah, yeah. As I said, I spoke with him yesterday, he said he was good to go. Probably be glad to get some sleep. I mean I remember those first weeks. You certainly learn why sleep deprivation is recognised torture, right !"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"So..." Clay frowns at her "..what's the problem now?"
"Why do you keep saying I was in the navy ? Why do you have to say it like I've finished with it"?
He licks his lips thinking how to answer without getting into an argument again "Look, you saw his face right, Commander Blackburn, this could still be an issue for us. Things don't change just because you had a baby. I just don't wanna put any more pressure on. If they think you're not going back, finished, then it gives us time to work out any problems before they become problems right?"
"Yeah!" she nods "yeah, yeah I guess you're right, sorry I didn't think about that".
"You think he's gonna need feeding soon?"
She looks around seeing the group passing Casey around between them "Oh he looks like he's okay for now. Come here " she wraps her arms around his waist as he holds her chin and kisses her.
Looking up into his eyes, he brushes her hair away from her face he pushes himself firmly against her. His hand softly caressing her back Mmmm "This is nice. We need more of this. Some Mommy and daddy time." he smiles and kisses her again "You know I was just wondering how long before, you know... we can.. again"
"Clay Spenser get that idea out of your head, right now!" she smiles "Anyway, if you really need to know, I did ask because, well I wondered the same thing" she kisses him "and the midwife, she said about four to six weeks, depending how I feel, so you'll have to find other ways of keeping busy for now!" She smiles reaching her lips up to kiss him again.
"Oh..." he kisses her neck "..I can find other ways, that we could take care of things" His hands wrap around over the curves of her butt. Mmmm " You are still so very sexy!"
"Clay! Will you stop" she looks around "Everyone's looking at us!"
"I don't see them. So, what did you want to tell me?"
"Um.. yeah look..." she holds him back, looking in his eyes and taking a deep breath
"Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like this?" he frowns pulling her back against him. Holding her tight
"I don't know... I mean, there's no reason you shouldn't. It depends if you want to make it an issue or not?" she circles her finger teasingly on his chest
"Okay so I'm not gonna like it. What is it?"
"Well, you know my friend, Alex, well... well he's coming over, to the states, from the UK. He has two week leave and he's gonna bring some of my stuff over. Clothes, post, paperwork that sort of thing"
"Oh, he is, is he? Right. And you arranged this with him already, without us talking about it?"
"Clay please.." she holds him tight as he tries to pull away "..don't! Look, I need my clothes and things and he offered. Plus, he wants to see Casey"
She looks at him, the simmering annoyance on his face "Oh c'mon Clay, he helped me out for nearly six months. He's a really good friend, and he offered to do this. Please, just be nice about it."
"I can't believe this." He sighs rubbing his hand through his hair " So when's he coming? What I mean is, how long do have to get use to the idea?"
"Today!" She coughs nervously "He's coming today. In fact, he's already here. He just text to say his flight landed an hour ago and he's gonna meet us here after he sorts a hire car"
"Here!" Clay scoffs "To the barbecue? You asked him here."
"What was I supposed to do? He said he was coming, and then you said about this, so I figured he could meet everyone at once. Naima said it would be fine to bring him along."
"You asked Naima, but you didn't say anything to me?"
"Only when she came yesterday, I guess like me, she didn't see a problem with it"
"She didn't see a problem, in a man friend of yours coming here"
"Well, I didn't say it was guy I didn't see any reason to, I just told her a friend, which he is."
"so, you lied!"
"No!" she pushes him back "For god sake Clay why do you have to be like this? Alex is doing me the favour. It's that or I have to go back, which I will have to do soon anyway. I needed some clothes and there is post, letters to sort out. This past week, well it's been a little crazy, and I can't just ignore everything back there. Look, I don't want to argue with you, not here. Not with everyone watching"
"Oh, is that why you got him to come here? So that I didn't make a scene in front of everyone. Sneaky!"
"It wasn't like that. I just wanted you to give him a chance. Alex has been my friend for a long time. We go way back and well, I just want you to get on with him. I want you to like each other. For Casey."
"Oh don't, don't play that. No, I think having a baby has warped your brain!" Clay laughs "What part of inviting him here seemed like a good idea? I told him already to stop contacting you. Looks like he didn't listen" He sighs, sneering "Guess that cos he's some dumb grunt marine right? Can't take orders"
"Clay stop that! Alex is not dumb, not by any means. You need to have some respect"
"But you didn't tell him what I did, did you? No, cos it might point out how far off the mark he is!"
"Clay I don't believe you. How can you say something like that? What Alex does and what you do, it's not so very different!"
"Yeah" he laughs " but my job is a bit more specialised. When he's just there to follow orders. Shoot, point, kill ...right?"
"You know what, I'm not talking to you while you're like this. You're acting like a spoiled child, who doesn't want to share his toys. He's a friend, just a friend. Like Mandy over there, she's friends with you all. Doesn't mean she's sleeping with you does it!"
"That's different"
"How ?" hmmm "You know, I can't believe you told him not to call me. What right did you have to do that"?
"Every right you're my girlfriend, the mother of my child and I don't want some guy calling, trying to hook up with you. Look I tried, I really tried to buy the whole we're friends story but I can't okay! I'm sorry if you don't like that, but I'm asking you to tell him thanks but no thanks, that he'll have to go back"
She sighs "You're asking that. Sorry but he's on his way here and you'll just have to suck it up!"
Naima frowns hearing them argue she now joins them and interrupts with a crying Casey in her arms. "Is everything okay here?"
"Yeah fine " Kelsey snaps
"Well um... look I think he needs his mommy. He's a bit grisly right now, maybe he's hungry?"
"Yeah, yeah sure. I'll sort him. Thank you" she sighs "Why don't you go and have a drink with Sonny, while I feed him. I don't want to argue anymore"
"You know, actually I think that about the best thing you've said today!"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Hey there Clay" . Sonny looks around watching as Clay sucks the life from the bottle of beer, chugging it back "Hey, hey! Clay, slow down there. What the hell's wrong?"
"What's wrong?! You're asking me what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. That fucking Marine that's what's wrong!"
"Marine? What mar... oh, oh, that Alex guy? Why what's he done now?"
"He's coming, here... here today!" he sighs as he drinks more of the beer back "That's what she just told me. Would you believe his flight already landed and she's only just told me. Fuck sake Sonny, what am I gonna do?"
"Hey .. hey, calm down alright. So, what's the problem? Look Clay, we're here right. He's not gonna do anything here today. He'll come, he'll see you're together and then we'll tell him to do one, we'll make it clear he's not wanted right?"
"Yeah!" Clay takes a breath "Yeah I just... I just don't like it Sonny. I gotta be nice to some jarhead bullet catcher"
Kelsey stands frowning as she watches him drinking and swearing "Actually, you know... Royal marine's not quite what you think" She sighs handing Casey to him "Take your son! He just need changing not feeding. And don't drink too much while you've got him"
"Oh um.. right "Clay looks awkwardly apologetic realising what he must seem like, drinking and ranting away " Kelsey! Kelsey don't walk away from me. What do you mean not the same thing?"
"I mean, green beret, commando's. They're kind of an elite unit, a bit like bravo!"
Clay takes a breath and Sonny smiles awkwardly " I thought UK had special air service, SAS thing"
"Yeah that too. But, what I'm saying if you must know Alex's commando unit, it's not just regular army like you imagine. And seeing as you're so keen on the one up Manship, I don't expect he'll want you to salute him as an officer, seeing as we're off the clock!" She sighs, picking up another orange juice then walks away "Grow up Clay!"
"Shit! Kelsey... I'm sorry!" Clay has Casey in his arms and looks at Sonny who's trying desperately to stifle the laugh on his lips. Clay frowns "What?!"
Sonny finally caves in and laughs "Oh c'mon you asked for that!"
"I did, didn't I. Shit! That's all I need some fucking officer!"
"Oh, Clay c'mon you can handle this guy. A cake eater.. nothin to worry about, right!"
"Yeah him I'm not worried about" he sighs "It's her I'm more concerned about. How the hell am I gonna put this right"
"Hey don't look at me, you know I don't understand women!" Sonny shrugs "I dunno, maybe you'll have to try bein' nice to him? "
"Yeah, like that's gonna happen. Not after what I said on the phone to