The Month Peter Parker Learned Humility
Chapter 18: Tuesday September 18th
9:30am, The Baxter Building. Manhattan.
"So, lemme get this straight, Stretch", dryly states Ben. "You froze Red here in some weird awake but not awake status tube?" "Yeah." "You did this so that living goo doesn't control her, and possibly kill it off?" "Yeah." "And we gotta call her school so she don't get in trouble?" "Yeah. Anna asked we do the last one." "Of course that nice lady did; with her cute—" "BEN! I thought you and Alicia were going steady!", interrupts Sue, checking in on her husband. "Yeah, we are! That's obvious, and true, and all that stuff!"
"…anyway, I was explaining to Ben how Ms Watson is gonna be contained as I calculate the precise way we can safely remove the goo from her and not have it attempt to wake her up and escape. Sue, baby, you'll be ready when it's time, right?" "Yeah, of course, sweetie. The kids are at school now, so there's nothing for you to worry about." The plexiglass holding MJ then cracks as a black fist begins to repeatedly slam its way out.
"Ya gotta be kidding me. It's clobbering time, ain't it, Stretch?", asks an unsurprised Ben. "NO. It's containment time right now, DO NOT CLOBBER HER. She's still a child, there's only so much we can—" "Alright, but hey, that goo's planning to fight dirty. Ya know that, right?" "That's right, Stonehenge, Venom wants to play rough and dirty, just like the big girls do", replies the goo, now fully in control of MJ's body.
"Look, kid, I don't wanna hurt ya, and I know this is just—" "Just what? A puberty thing?", she asks, jumping out of the tube entrapping her. "This is more than a bad period, Fantastic Assholes. But this,… giant, heavy metal thing that no one told me what it does should hold ya down for a hot minute!" As the massive metal machinery flies towards the Richards and Ben, a random burst of fire melts a hole in it, giving the team a chance to easily split it. "No one calls the Fantastic Four a bunch of assholes unless I'm there to prove it!", shouts a fired-up Johnny Storm, launching a ring of fire around MJ. "Ay, the Baby Candle's back from his fancy schmancy time at Xavier's School!", joyously replies Ben.
"It's the anniversary of Jean's fourth death, so school's off today and I thought I'd pay a quick visit to my sister's place", replied Johnny. "Now, what in the name of God is THAT?!" "Spider-Man got a weird goo, and now his girlfriend has it. Now help me PLEASE find that big gun with four barrels!", frantically replies Reed, trying to find a nearby sonic cannon in reach. "…So, it's like, a living STD suit?" "I AM VENOM!", the goo hollers, hurling a chunk of the floor at Johnny.
"Venom?! Sounds like someone made their first edgy band name", Johnny adds, distracting her towards the window. "Flame-Brain, not there, we gotta keep her in the lab!" "Don't tell me how to do my job, Rocky! Besides, I can control some oil spill lady any day of the week." He failed to control her as she threw globs of the symbiote itself onto Johnny's fists, weighing down the flying fire.
"Believe me, hot-head, I'm not the one you control!", Venom yells. "If anything, I control YOU!" She slings more globs of herself at the Torch, and hops over to the opposite side of the lab with the grace of a rabid mountain lion, knocking down Ben like a stack of dominoes. "You suck at holding a bitch down, Reed. Hope Namor doesn't come here with a handful of flowers", Venom cackles maniacally, trying to rip open the vibranium doors. Reed, furious at Venom's taunts, launches a stretched-out arm like a cannon directly at her, accidentally punching her through the last crack in the vibranium door. Sue sprints towards the hole where the door was, trying to grab the runaway villainess with a force field.
"Where's the little ink blot?!", Johnny yells, transforming into a near-blinding supernova of rage and embarrassment, melting away the goo globs. "Reed, that little girl is gonna kill Peter, isn't she?", Sue asked, deeply concerned for the young couple's lives. "That goo will try, but I'll track it, and get some help while we're at it." "Whaddaya mean 'we'? Stretch, I ain't hitting kids", Ben replied. "You don't have to hurt her, you just have to rip the goo off her. Here's the plan."
10:30am, Midtown High School. Astoria, Queens.
Peter sits in his Chemistry desk chair, contemplating the last few questions of the first test. "If I heat GBD at 249c, should it implode, dissolve or melt into the container?", he reads to himself. "I know for a fact that DBG melts into the container, but only that, so that's wrong off the bat. It also doesn't really dissolve, only steams up. So implode it is."
Suddenly, the window broke as Venom burst into the classroom. "You! There you are, pretty boy. You're gonna help me find Spider-Man, Peter Parker", she states, slowly wall-crawling towards Peter. "M'am, who the hell are you?", asks Mr Larsen, furious at this destructive interruption. "Shut up, fool! The boy's coming with me, and he's coming right now!", she hissed back at him, grabbing Peter and flinging out of the classroom. She lands on the roof of the school, where no one can see them.
"MJ, what the fuck happened to you?!", asks a horrified Peter. "She's not awake yet,
Peter. But we can talk for her." "You ruined my life already, and now what? You wanna ruin hers too?" "WE want to improve the lives of both of you! We even have a deal—" "Tiger! Tiger, is that you?", asks the real MJ, poking her freckled face out from Venom's jaws.
"MJ! What did it do to you?" "What I did to her is the same thing I did to you, Penis Parker", Venom snarled at him. "I didn't scare her unlike you, however. Hear us out. We wanna make a deal that'll benefit the both of us." "There's nothing you can do that won't end with you in a jar!" "Not even a team-up?" "…talk very, very carefully."
"See, I know the two of you well enough to know what each of you want from one another. I know that she wants a life where Peter Parker and Spider-Man can love her as one. She's wanted a life with you since she could outpace you. I know you want a life with her no matter what. But neither of you two can find a middle ground where that can be achieved, at least not until now. I can swing around New York just as good as you, Peter, and I don't need any fancy manmade webbing to do it. Just a quick flick of the wrist, and BAM! Goo webs, all natural. Granted, I'll get the appetite of a horse or sleep like a rock after a good swinging session, but that's where Miss Thickness over here enters the scene. She eats, and she can't be stuck in between the two sides of her man, so why not swing by his side as an equal? I'll give her the powers and I'll give you the girl you've always wanted."
"That,… that's a real nice deal there. What's the catch, Poison?" "It's Venom, ya dip. No catch; just let me give her our powers on her command, and we'll give you the dream girl of dream girls." "It's latching onto my bones, and it's hurting me worse than Terry!" "W-wait, what's it doing to you?" "She's lying, let me swing by your side again, Tiger!", Venom replies, hiding her right hand behind her back, slashing MJ. "I'll give you ONE chance to think about my offer, Spider-Man", it states, throwing Peter into the school library. "When you've made up your mind, meet us where we had our first kiss, and yes, I mean the FIRST kiss between you and the meat sack." As the symboite scatters off to a mystery location, Spidey swings outside to think in peace.
11am, 61st St, Woodside.
"Although my Spider-Sense didn't go off, something about that deal is wrong", Peter thinks to himself, crouching on the top of a street pole. "I know that Venom goo wants nothing but to take over my life, and who knows what it'll do if that happened! It's not trustworthy, but maybe it and MJ can get together. Wait, MJ did say it was hurting her! Yeah no, I'm ripping it off of her on sight, actually. No one has the right to hurt others, and that thing has hurt too many people! It's due time someone took care of it for good!"
"Now, where am I gonna find MJ? It said to meet up where we had our first first kiss, but that could only mean,… Oh God no! Oh good God, no! There's too many people there, it'll fuck up any and everything in sight!", he sharply realizes, swinging onto the nearest 7 train.
Shea Stadium, 10 years earlier.
The Parker and Watson families cheer on the Mets as David Wright scores another home run against the Phillies on a brisk September afternoon. "Pete, did you see that? That was the cleanest home run I've ever seen!", exclaimed Ben Parker, trying to bond with his nephew. "Yeah, that was a real nice hit, but I was looking at something else for a minute", Peter replied. "Lemme guess, the guy three rows down wearing the Captain Picard jacket." "How'd ya know?" "You like Star Trek as much as I like a good coffee. Also, you told me about him three innings earlier."
"Oh. It's just such an awesome jacket, Uncle Ben! It's got the NCC-1701-D and everything." "You know what else has everything from The Next Generation?", asks a particularly shy MJ, firmly holding onto a bag of popcorn. "What?" "My Wii. Hooked it up with Netflix, and now we can watch Picard after Mario Kart!" "Sick! I can finally show you—" "You've shown me just about every episode they've ever made and cancelled. But it'll be awesome to see it again with you!"
Suddenly, the Jumbo-Tron shows a flurry of hearts scatter across the screen, with pop music blasting out of the speakers. "Ben, betcha five bucks they put that kiss cam on the old vet couple we bumped into on the way in", Terry whispers. "Betcha ten bucks it'll be on you and Anna, if ya keep talking that hot shit", May sassily replies. "Tiger, it's the kiss cam! Who do you, uh, who do you think is gonna get on it?", a blushing MJ asks, choking on her words.
"It'll probably be some rowdy bleacher couple or something", Peter replies, grabbing a kernel or two. "Hold up", Ben interrupts, grabbing his nephew for an impromptu man-to-man talk. "Pete, remember a couple weeks ago when I said there are certain ways a man talks to a young lady?" "Yeah, but MJ isn't my girlfriend—" "When a girl asks who's gonna get a kiss, the answer is always her." "Uncle Ben,—" "The answer is always her. Trust me, May taught me that one the hard way."
"MJ, I got another idea who might get on the kiss cam", Peter says, slightly confused from Ben's quick lesson. "Who?" "It might be someone in this row; someone close to the staircase, like you!" Suddenly, the young children see giant reflections of themselves, broadcast in front of thousands of people. MJ bashfully grabs Pete's hand, and lands a quick peck on his lips. "You're the best friend a girl could ask for, getting the kiss cam to be right on us!", gleefully claims MJ, hugging Peter so tight he taps her back for some air.
11:30am, The Citi Field Right Field Lighting Rig. Now.
"I can't believe he's gonna fall for that bullshit offer! Jesus, our boy is so gullible, ain't he?", a separated Venom asks MJ. "He is NOT your boy, since you tried to ruin and consume his life." "I did not!", it snarled. "Ya did, and you made Peter uppercut Flash down three blocks!" "He lived. He lived, didn't he?" "Yes, but you're a damn alien goo monster! Why am I even arguing with you, you discount Flubber?!" "Don't you dare insult me, meat bag, before I really make you the bag of meat you always were!"
"Are ya sure about that, you talking oil spill?", adds Spider-Man, confidently hanging upside down from a light. "Last time I checked, Mrs Met wasn't trying to kill her man with help from evil aliens!" "You thought long and hard about our offer, Pe—" "It's not happening. Let MJ go, get in a Snapple bottle, and I'll put you away somewhere safe. How's that for an offer?" "So we're gonna have to kick your sorry ass the hard way, then, instead of slowly doing it throughout years of shitting on ya? Fine, we'll do this the fun way", Venom replies, bonding once more with MJ.
"Ya know what? I got a better idea, Arachna-Lad. Batting practice's about to start soon, and I can smell some fresh blood with cameras; lots of cameras. Look, there they are now!" The goo begins leaping off the rigs and onto the bleachers, slobbering with joy and hunger towards the unaware press. "No! No more games! You're going back in the jar, and THAT'S IT!", Spidey shouts, webbing Venom's back in a last-minute effort to bring it away from the press.
As Venom feels Peter's webs grip it, she spins around and flings him into the right field. "Why won't you let me kill you, Spider?", Venom snarls. "I'm just a very, very hungry girl and you're one hell of a snack!" "Can't you just go eat rats or ya know, some other planet full of protein?!" "Not when I can swing around New York better than you", she replies, now crawling towards a Mets batboy. "Are you kidding me, Jabberjaw? You stole my powers, and now you wanna take some young lady's life for what?! So you can do it again and again until you can't find a new body to drain?!", Peter hollers, furious at his former suit finally showing its whole, animalistic, cruel self.
"Get the camera on right field yesterday, kid. Eddie Brock's about to finally tackle a Super story as it's breaking!", barks a muscular, blonde, naive DBTV reporter as he runs off to the fight of the web spinners. "Jesus, Brock, look at them!", exclaims the young cameraperson. "You wanna do that—" "Yes, I'm tired of fucking around with these meathead sports guys, and here's the perfect chance to make it big as a Supers guy. Brant'll love this shit!" As he combs his slightly frazzled post-run hair, a chunk of the right field meant for Spider-Man slams into Brock's back.
"Yum, fresh meat!", screeches Venom, leap-frogging over Peter's head towards a weakened Brock. "Howdy, big boy. You wanna give a pretty girl like me the interview of ya life?", she slobbers to a very confused, hurt Brock, licking her tongue across her cheeks and teeth. "Hey, we ain't done yet!", shouts Spidey, webbing her away from the out-of-his-league reporter. "Sorry about that,… Brad, is it?" "It's Brock; Eddie Brock! I'm with DBTV, and ya mind giving me a SUPER QUICK info drop on big, black, scary lady here?" "Venom here is evil, that's OH SHIT GET OUT OF THE WAY!", he claims, shoving him towards first base, failing to remember how his super strength affects the normal citizen.
"Let me kill you, Spider-Man! How hard can that be, damnit?!", bellowed Venom. A crunched over Brock, currently howling in pain, is ignored by even his own cameraperson as many other members of the press stampede towards the surprisingly contained fight. "BuzzFeed Pop storyteller Chris Kent here!" "Gail Grossman here, giving our NY1 viewers a close up experience.." "Bobby Richardson on the scene.." "Only Stevie DiCarli can give you THIS!" "Man, Mrs Met looks SCARY, doesn't she, folks?" As Peter and Venom slash, dash and dodge each other's attacks, the added stress begins to get to Spidey as the Spider-Sense blares like a nuclear alarm, valiantly trying to save each press person and their cameramen.
"That's MY STORY, ya damn culture vultures!", shouts a limping Eddie, desperately attempting to regain his story. "Camera operator, get them outta here!… Camera guy?" Eddie's young companion left, leaving behind a broken Canon product, riddled with footprints and a couple of press badges. "…Fine, I'll do it myself", he mutters to himself, opening up his phone's camera app.
"Can anyone here NOT a superhero get out of here right now, PLEASE! She'll eat you alive!", demands a stressed Spidey. "Boy, I'll eat her alive if you know what I mean", lewdly replies a New York Post reporter just before getting their hand bitten off. Enraged for multiple reasons at this point in the fight, Peter finally leaps at Venom and throws his first punch at it, as reporters flee for their lives and the lives of their crew. "Get! Off! Of! Mary! Jane! NOW!", Peter cries with a choked crack in his voice, dropping fist after fist after fist into the bloody jaws of this creature like a WW2 air raid bomber plane.
"Tiger, wait! Tiger, it's me! Calm down, please; you're hurting me!", begs a weakened Venom, revealing his best friend's face hiding within its broken teeth. "M-m-MJ? MJ, I'm hurting you? I… I'm trying to save you", stutters a newly traumatized Peter. "I'm just trying to save you, I never want to hurt you, MJ." As Peter stops dead in his tracks, the symbiote slides off of MJ, slithering towards Peter's spine. "J-Just tell me you're OK, I won't treat you like Terry, OK? Tell me you're—" Venom spears itself into Peter's spinal column, sliding and slicing up his insides as well as his suit, hoping to let Peter die from bleeding out.
"Stupid boy. Stupid, stupid boy. If I want to eat you and do it again and again until the heat death of the universe, you say YES!", hisses Venom. "N, n… Not if you're gonna hurt innocent people", Peter states, coughing blood. "When you have the power to help someone,(cough)that power comes with the responsibility to help the best way you can. I learned that lesson a long time ago, and(cough) I learned it again not too long ago in the hardest way ever." "Bleh, again with this shit." "I can't forget that lesson, along with a new one; don't ever let the Spider go before the Man for Spider-Man, Flubber." "That's it? That's all ya got?! You can't even think of a good dying phrase? Pathetic", Venom dryly belittles as it reaches towards MJ, hoping to bond one last time for the killing blow. "Wait, where are ya, ya top-heavy bitch?"
MJ slams Venom's head with the broken camera, startling but not harming the alien goo. "Go fuck off already, you big sticky asshole!", she hollers, not realizing her attack did nothing to hurt this benign being. The goo lashes out a primal scream of dominance over Ms Watson, as MJ follows suit. Seeing this through blurred and bloodied vision, Peter has an idea; a loud idea. He immediately swings off towards the Jumbo-Tron, wall crawling to the lights faster than he's ever wall crawled anywhere before. Venom sees its favorite prey run away, and slithers in pursuit of Peter.
"Why do you run from the sweet release of death, baby-cakes? If I can't swing alongside you before eating you, then I'll just eat you! Accept it, and I'll eat you quickly, so you don't feel it as severe", the goo bargains, gaining up on a broken, tattered Peter. "N-No. You hurt me, made me hurt others and now,… you hurt MJ? And you think you can just keep doing that? No. No, you can't." Peter, now on top of the Jumbo-Tron, rips off two metal pipes and slams them together. The harsh, shrill ringing of the tin cylinders stop Venom dead in its tracks, howling in pain. Peter slams the sticks together again, this time slowly walking back down to the outfield, further weakening the unearthly beast. The more Peter plays the pipes, more of the once gooey, slimy drops of Venom harden and fall off as dry, brittle remnants of a once powerful monster.
As Peter now stands tall and triumphant over the literal slime ball left of Venom on the right outfield, he puts the pipes gently onto the grass. "I could play that tune one more time, I could forever end your dumbassery, and I could save God knows how many lives. But I won't. I'm gonna let you live, so you can think about what you did. You're a living, thinking creature, and you're gonna change your ways, maybe learn some responsibility along the way", Peter states, now fully exhausted. As he falls to the soft, earthy ground, no longer capable of holding himself up, MJ swoops in and traps the goo inside a large soda cup.
"Thank God I got that fight footage", contemplates Eddie, hiding inside the grand stand seats. "The whole world is gonna know Eddie Brock and Spider-Man reports go together like bacon and eggs!"
End of Chapter 18