I tried my best to get this posted last night, but it just wasn't going to happen. So here we are. And it's a long chapter for the the longer wait.
We're in Lilith's perspective here, and I've added some interesting things that will be important to the story going forward.
It's late, so I won't take up your time up here.
Read on!
Journey
Lilith stood beside Athelstan as he watched Lagertha more carefully than he had anyone before. In the distance, three ships drew closer to the docks they all stood on, waiting as patiently as they could for the raiding men to return. Two weeks earlier, Lagertha had lost the baby, and Asa had nearly ordered her to stay in bed. Siggy had picked up the slack, helping with chores around the long house and sending Thyri to check on the fields waiting to be harvested. For two weeks, no one had spoken about what happened. No one mentioned it to Lagertha or her children. It was a subject that was now forbidden to be mentioned.
Now Ragnar was returning. Lilith and Gyda had done everything that had been asked of them, even when it had involved leaving the long house to give Lagertha a little peace. Þórunn and Edda stayed with them and helped with the chores, as did Gerda and Amma, but it wasn't easy to stay positive when nearly everyone around town whispered it behind their backs. Bjorn handled the situation better than anyone expected him to, but when it was just their family sitting down to eat, he was more quiet than usual even if he didn't snap at people when they tried to make him talk.
Lagertha was braver than anyone expected her to be. She heeded Asa's instruction and stayed in bed for nearly four days after losing the baby, but then she insisted on seeing her children so they would know she was all right. She couldn't handle listening to the people who needed their disputes sorted, but she could reassure her son and daughters that she would be healed before they knew it.
Today was not that day.
As she stood beside Athelstan and held Gyda's hand, Lilith saw how pale Lagertha was and how weak she still looked. She stood on her own two feet, but she barely had a hold on her composure. She wasn't ready to do this, and Asa had told her as much. But of course, Lagertha had insisted.
"This is my duty to my husband," she said as they had walked to the docks. "He should hear this from me and no one else."
When Athelstan had tried to help her walk down the pier, she had pushed his hand away and shook her head at him.
"I am all right, Athelstan," she barked softly.
"No, you're not," he argued and glanced at Lilith and Gyda. "You're still healing, and Asa was plain when she said you needed to rest. Your spirit might be willing, but your body— "
"Will be fine," she said through clenched teeth. "Please. Do not coddle me. I am a grown woman. I have lost a child before. Now is no dif . . . rent."
Her voice fell silent as she gripped her belly, and Athelstan moved in again, wrapping his arm around her back to steady her.
"Of course it's different," he exclaimed. "Lagertha — "
"Earl Ragnar!"
The people around them began to cheer as the lead ship approached the pier, and at its bow, Ragnar stood ahead of everyone else. The smile on his face was unmistakable, as was his posture that stated undoubtedly the success of his travels. Lilith glanced at Gyda and then Bjorn, taking a deep breath and moving with the crowd to greet their father.
The first thing Ragnar did upon jumping from his ship to the pier was spread his arms as wide as they would go, beckoning his family to him.
"My children! Son! Daughters! Come and greet your father who returns to you with spoils and treasures. I have brought all of you gifts from England."
Bjorn was first in embracing his father, and Ragnar ruffled his hair with a kiss on his head before moving to face Lilith and Gyda. He hugged them in his arms tighter than he had upon leaving, kissing their foreheads and leaning back to look at them both.
"You are both even more beautiful than I remember," he gushed. "Though it has only been a few months, you are both quickly becoming young women. This makes me so proud."
Gyda laughed softly, sadly, and Lilith tried to keep the smile on her face as he stood up straight. She knew he had noticed their expressions, and finally, he turned to where Athelstan was still trying to help Lagertha stay on her feet.
"I was expecting a slightly different greeting upon my return," he said suspiciously. "Has something happened I should know about?"
He glanced down Lagertha's body and then back up at her face, glancing back at his children and then up at Athelstan.
"Where is my new son?" he demanded, the smile on his face quickly fading.
Lagertha clenched her jaw, pressing her lips together and glancing in Athelstan's direction.
Athelstan took a step closer to Ragnar, opening his mouth to speak. "Ragnar — "
"Our son is gone," Lagertha stated, her voice stilted as tears slipped down her cheeks.
Ragnar looked at Athelstan for nearly a minute, glancing back at Lilith and Gyda and then Bjorn before he turned back to his wife. "Gone?" he repeated. "What do you mean, gone? What happened?"
Lagertha scowled in Athelstan's direction before she glanced at Lilith and Gyda. "It was out of my hands," she sobbed, covering her mouth and turning her face from Ragnar's for only a second before he lifted her chin so she had to look at him.
Every bit of joy that had been on his face and in his voice faded completely, and despite what he'd just learned, he accepted it slowly, pulling Lagertha into his arms. He whispered to her and kissed her cheek, leaning back to look at her for a moment before he kissed her forehead and took over her care from Athelstan.
Only a few seconds passed as the other men from the boats carried their treasure from the hulls to take them to the Great Hall. Athelstan saw Torstein and Arne before he stepped forward to take Lilith and Gyda under his arms and lead them back into town. He nodded for Bjorn to follow them, and slowly, they all left the docks.
No fewer than six large trunks were set before the Earl's chair, full to the brim with gold and silver, as well as one large trunk filled with golden plates and crosses. An eighth trunk set uncharacteristically closed on the farthest end of the treasure, and Lilith regarded it curiously. What was inside it that was so mysterious that no one had thought to open it?
Ragnar helped Lagertha to her chair, kissing her forehead again and then sitting down in his chair as everyone from outside gathered around to take it the loot he'd brought back from England.
"My friends! Hail to Odin and Thor for our success. For this bounty would not be possible without them. Soon, we will begin our harvest, and that will surely supply us with the food we need to sustain us for the winter. But this treasure will bring us many other things that will see us through to next summer, when we will sail West again and bring back even greater treasure. I bid you all the come and share this victory with us. We will have a feast tonight to celebrate."
Everyone cheered and applauded as Ragnar motioned for Athelstan and his children to sit beside him. As soon as they were all close, he lowered his voice and grinned slightly.
"You will notice this last trunk that I have asked not to be opened," he told them and laughed softly. "I bargained with King Alle and gained something that will become more valuable to me than gold or silver. You will pleased to know, Athelstan, that upon my humble request, the king granted me a trunk filled with everything you will need to continue the education of my children."
Athelstan smiled as he glanced at Lilith and Gyda and then Bjorn. "Ragnar, I am stunned," he exclaimed. "But also happy. How did you manage to get King Alle to do that?"
The impish grin on Ragnar's face was enough to make Athelstan's smile drop significantly. "I made him an offer he could not refuse," Ragnar shrugged.
"Ragnar," Athelstan said carefully, "you didn't kill anyone, did you? Not for this. Not for me."
Ragnar claimed Athelstan's shoulder and squeezed him gently. "Do not worry, my friend. Your conscience should be clear. We all do the gods' bidding when they ask it of us."
Athelstan shook his head just once, standing as Ragnar waved over Tait and Halldor so they could take the trunk to the long house, and once they were gone, Athelstan turned to Lilith and Gyda.
"All right, girls," he said. "Find Edda and Þórunn. They will help you get ready for the feast tonight. Send Asa and Siggy over to help Lagertha."
Lilith didn't hesitate, taking Gyda's hand and pulling her along so they could leave the Great Hall. Neither of them spoke as they stepped across the way between the two buildings and then into the long house as the other servants went on in their duties. Finding Edda and Þórunn was easy, since they were cleaning the tables of food from their morning reading lessons. Amma and Gerda were helping Ingrid in the kitchens, so it was just the four of them in their room finding dresses to wear for the feast.
"Father did not look upset," Gyda said as she changed out of her slip dress and took a clean dress from Þórunn. "But it sometimes takes him a little while to show what he is feeling. I hope he understands it is not Mother's fault. And they can always have another baby."
"Well, of course, it isn't her fault," Lilith said as she held the small tin of ointment that Helga had given her for her birthday just a week earlier. Edda had applied it to Lilith's scars three times already, helping her to become quite familiar with them. "And I'm sure once she is healed, they will want to try for another baby. No one would deserve it more."
Edda finished with the ointment and used a linen cloth to wipe away the excess before she lifted the blue dress that waited and helped Lilith pull it over her head. Edda tied the strings at the back, speaking a little too honestly.
"If it was the will of the gods, then Lagertha would already have the sons that Ragnar desires. If that has not happened, then the gods must have a different destiny for her. Some women are not meant to simply give men sons to go off to battle."
Gyda and Lilith both looked at her, silent for a minute before she noticed and stepped back like she had done something wrong.
"Forgive me," she pleaded. "That was what my mother used to say. Before she died."
Lilith glanced at Gyda, noticing the frown on her face and sighing softly as she turned back to Edda. "It's all right," she assured her. "And I am sorry about your mother. I still do not know what happened to my mother who gave birth to me. I already know how different things are here, and I sometimes have trouble understanding why it has to be like that. Gyda helps me to understand, but perhaps you could help me as well."
Slowly, Edda lifted her head, realizing that Lilith wasn't upset by what she said and smiling a little before she gathered up Lilith's cloak so they could all leave their room.
This feast they had to celebrate Ragnar's success was not unlike any other feast they'd had since coming to live in town, even with the subdued tone everyone seemed to have in regards to Lagertha. She had to leave not an hour after sitting down, and Asa followed her as closely as she could without tripping over her. When she left, Ragnar waved Lilith and Gyda to his side, also gesturing to Torstein who was sitting just a few feet away.
"My daughters, I wanted to give you these gifts once you had already eaten enough, because when you see them, you will not believe your eyes."
Torstein arrived at the table with two small cloth pouches, colored red and blue, and lay them before Gyda and Lilith. First, Ragnar draped his arm over Lilith's shoulders and spoke softly to her.
"My daughter, inside this pouch you will find one of the rarest stones in the world," he said and helped her open the pouch. "The king himself confirmed this to me. And I immediately thought of you, for you are the rarest of them all. And it is only a small token of my love."
Inside the pouch, Lilith found a blue, beaded necklace, much like the amber necklace Athelstan had given her. But it also had white beads between the blue beads. Lilith had never seen anything like it, and she immediately smiled at her father.
"The king," Ragnar said to her, "called this blue stone lapis lazuli. And the white stone is called a pearl. They find it inside clams and harvest them like vegetables."
Lilith laughed softly and looked at the necklace again. "It's beautiful, Father," she gushed. "I love it."
She moved forward and embraced him as tightly as she ever had, waiting for him to reciprocate before she let go and watched him turn to Gyda to help her with the gift he'd brought her.
"Gyda, my love," Ragnar said and claimed her shoulders. "These gems for you are some of the only ones the King had in his collection, and as soon as I saw them, I knew they would be just for you."
From inside the red pouch, Gyda extracted a red beaded necklace with a gold clasp, and she ran it between her fingers before she laughed softly and smiled up at Ragnar. "It's beautiful," she exclaimed. "Thank you, Father."
He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You are most welcome, my child," he whispered. Then he reached for Lilith to hold them closer. "These gifts are for you to know how much I thought of you while I was away. So you will know when I am gone that you are always in my thoughts. And I will always do what is in my power to return to you both, and to your brother. To your mother, and of course, to Athelstan."
He kissed them both on the head before nodding for them to return to their seats. Lilith sat next to Athelstan, still holding her necklace and showing it to him as he turned back to her from his conversation with Leif.
"Look at my new necklace, Athelstan," she exclaimed.
"It's beautiful, Lili," he said and laughed softly.
"Is it all right if I wear it with the necklace you gave me?"
He put his arm around her shoulders, bending his head so she would hear him over the gentle roar of the Hall. "Lili, you may wear any gift that is given to you if it comes from someone who loves you. Not only mine, but also Gyda's and Ragnar's, and Lagertha's, as well. I will not be upset. I promise."
She laughed and nodded.
He kissed the side of her face and nudged her back to her plate so she could finish her food before they went back to the long house.
The feasting did not diminish even when Lagertha came to get Gyda and Lilith for bed, and though she said good night to Ragnar, he only barely said anything to her, opting instead to talk to Arne and Torstein as they sat close to him. It took all of her strength not to say anything to him, collecting her daughters and leaving the Hall without saying anything to anyone else.
"Girls, I want you to get changed for bed and come back to my bed," she instructed. "Your father seems intent of entertaining his friends, and I want my daughters close to me tonight."
Neither Lilith nor Gyda hesitated, nodding their agreement and going off to change as quickly as they could. Þórunn and Edda had already returned to the kitchen, so when Lilith and Gyda finished changing, they both returned to where Lagertha was already sitting up in bed waiting.
"Mother," Gyda said as she and Lilith snuggled up under Lagertha's arms. "Tell us a story."
Lagertha smiled slightly, rubbing her forehead and then looking at Lilith to kiss her forehead. "What story would you like to hear?" she asked them.
Gyda looked at Lilith also and nodded, prompting her silently.
"Tell us about Heimdallr," Lilith requested. "I have been curious about him since you invoked his name with that couple with the new baby. What does he do?"
Lagertha's smile grew quickly, and she squeezed them both before taking a deep breath and beginning. "Heimdallr is unique even among our gods," she said and sank into the bed to get comfortable. Lilith and Gyda followed her, laying their heads on her shoulders as they listened. "Of all the gods, he is the brightest. He is the one who stands guard over all of Asgard, and he sees and hears all things. He possesses the foreknowledge of the world and knows of every prophecy. He is also a great friend to us here on Midgard. He walks among us on many occasions, and he helps those of us who are in the greatest need."
"Like the couple who had not been able to have a baby?" Lilith asked.
"Yes, my daughter. Heimdallr is said to go on seafaring journeys amongst us in Midgard. He will walk down the middle of a path and choose a deserving couple to stay with. For three days, he sups with them, advises them on their house or their farm, helping them anyway he can. He also lies with them both, sleeping between them and giving them his blessing. It is considered a great honor to be chosen by a god, for any reason."
Lilith listened intently as she always did, noticing how the smile on Lagertha's face faded a little as she told this story until it was gone completely. She wrapped her arm around Lagertha's waist and tilted her head back to look up at her.
"Mother," she murmured.
"Yes, Lilith?"
"Can people pray to Heimdallr? Would he come to those who did, or ?"
Lagertha sighed again, stroking Lilith's hair and pressing her cheek to Lilith's forehead. "My dear girl, even if you did, gods do as they wish. They do not always answer us when we pray. And besides, I have been praying to the gods since I lost my unborn son. I suppose I will until I am with child again."
Lilith breathed in as deeply as she could, holding Lagertha tighter and closing her eyes. Lagertha squeezed her and then did the same to Gyda.
"Go to sleep, my daughters. Tomorrow will wait."
Gyda didn't wait, scooting even closer and laying her hand over Lilith's arm so they were both holding onto Lagertha. Slowly, the room became still, the only sound coming from the hearth just outside the partition.
Long after Lagertha and Gyda went to sleep, Lilith lay awake with her sister and mother, remembering what she'd seen and heard the day Lagertha had lost the baby. She remembered that man who had dragged his wife in front of them and complained that she had cheated on him and wanted her punished. Lagertha had invoked Heimdallr's name for the gift of the child that woman had given her husband, and at the time, Lilith had thought it strange. But now, it made sense. Maybe if Lagertha could do that for a man in town, Lilith could do that for her mother. Maybe then, she and Ragnar would have another child.
While Gyda and Lagertha slept, Lilith thought as hard as she could, praying to Heimdallr that he would choose Lagertha and Ragnar to give a child. She could think of no one who deserved it more.
Lilith fell asleep with the god's name on her lips, and she dreamed that a bright shining man came to the town and spent time with Lagertha and Ragnar. But there was no baby. She saw blood and blades, altars and wooden bowls, dead animals hanging from their feet and Leif with an odd smile on his face. Never a baby.
Days after Ragnar's return turned into weeks, and slowly, the distance between him and Lagertha began to grow. They still slept in the same bed, and they still listened to people in town every other day, but they only spoke to each other when it was necessary. Lilith felt helpless watching them, and Gyda told her the same thing. Not even when the harvest was brought in did it prompt a word between them other than to acknowledge if they had enough food to last them through winter.
Then at the end of the autumn harvest, a single ship sailed into the fjord carrying a red and gold banner with a sun emblem over it. It was a brisk autumn day that would have normally been spent indoors, but they all had to meet this new arrival on the docks just before their midday meal.
"Who would come this late in the year?" Bjorn asked his father as they stood at the end of the docks.
Ragnar glanced in his son's direction before he looked back at Athelstan as he stood with Lilith and Gyda. "Whoever he is, we will welcome him all the same. Dealing with a King of England is one thing. This man is clearly not an Englishman. He might be a Dane or a Swede. My predecessor once tried to make an alliance with a Swede. Perhaps he is here to make an alliance."
Lilith looked at Gyda before they both looked up at Athelstan, and it looked he was thinking the same thing. The last Swede who had tried to make an alliance with Earl Haraldson had done so by marrying Thyri. Lilith had heard of alliances through marriage, even if she did not understand the practice. Would Ragnar really marry one of them off to a total stranger?
The dark-haired man standing at the front of the first boat held himself like he was very important, much like Earl Haraldson once had, and there was a younger man behind him with the same look about him. Whatever they were here for, Lilith knew one thing just by looking at them. Important men had come to Kattegat, and they brought uncertainty with them.
Men on the docks caught the lines of the boat and pulled it to the dock, helping the older man onto the pier and bowing as he stepped in front of Ragnar and Bjorn.
"Earl Ragnar Lothbrok," he stated, having not been introduced but aware of Ragnar's identity all the same.
Ragnar bowed his head slightly. "I am, and you are, My Lord?"
"I am Jarl Sigmund, of Jutland," he declared, his green eyes glittering in the clear light of day. He paused and turned to the younger man. "This is my eldest son, Ingmar. I am here because I have heard of your exploits, and I wanted to see if the stories were true. If they are, then I would also wish to make an alliance with you. For I believe, by the gods, that we would be destined to accomplish great things together."
Ragnar glanced back at Athelstan and then at Lilith and Gyda. The smile on his face fell slightly before he turned back to Jarl Sigmund. "We were not expecting you, My Lord. But we welcome you all the same. Please. My steward will show you to the Great Hall where my wife is currently preparing a midday meal for us all."
Jarl Sigmund and his son stepped around Ragnar, and Athelstan sighed softly before he nudged the girls behind him so he could face the new arrivals.
"My lords, please. If you will follow me. Bjorn, help your sisters."
That was all he said as he led the two strange men away, and before they were even a few feet away, Jarl Sigmund glanced back to Lilith and Gyda with a strange look on his face. It took them both a minute to realize that he was smiling, and it wasn't aimed at Lilith. No, it was Gyda he smiled at, and she immediately ducked behind Lilith to hide.
Ragnar followed Athelstan and their guests, and Bjorn stepped up to Lilith's side.
"Come," he commanded gently. He reached for Lilith's hand, waiting for her to take it before he started down the docks. Lilith kept her other hand in Gyda's, and they all left the docks together.
"Sister, please," Gyda whispered as they walked. "You have to protect me from that man. The same thing happened to Thyri. I don't want that to happen to me."
Lilith squeezed her hand as tightly as she could. "Do not worry, my sister. Our father would never do such a thing. And if he did, I would not let anyone take you away from here. I swear that to you."
It turned out that once they had all sat down in the Great Hall, Lagertha had already spoken to Ragnar about the possibility of an alliance through marriage, and she instructed Lilith and Gyda to sit as far from the Jarl and his son as possible. That did not deter the older man from smiling at Gyda, almost simpering. Gyda traded places with Lilith and Bjorn in order to sit next to her father, and once she was there, she scooted her chair as close to him as she could, giving no explanation, but not really needing too.
Ragnar took her under his arm as soon as she was close, kissing her in her hair and protecting her even as he spoke to Jarl Sigmund.
Lilith didn't really pay attention to what they said. She knew it was something only adults talked about, and even though she was getting older, she was still considered a child by many people. After several minutes, the only thing she could really pay attention to was Jarl Sigmund's son as he sat across from her and Athelstan.
"The two of you are different from everyone else here," he stated plainly, the twinkle in his light brown eyes as obvious as snow on a winter day. "Tell me, Steward, from where do you come? You are not a Northman, nor are you a Swede. Are you from Denmark or Götland?"
Athelstan glanced down the table to where Ragnar was sitting and engaged in a serious conversation with Jarl Sigmund. After a minute, he sighed and looked at Ingmar. "You are correct, My Lord, in saying we are not like anyone else here. We both come from England, which is the land that Ragnar sailed to this past year and brought back his treasure. We came back with him on his first raid."
The older man was taken by this, grinning wider. "Is that so? So you were both captives? Slaves?"
"I was a slave, yes," Athelstan confirmed. "For many months on Ragnar's farm before he became Earl. Then he made me his first slave, which placed me in charge of the others. Only recently did he make me his steward, but I suppose, technically, I am still a slave. Lili, on the other hand, was made Ragnar's lawful daughter as soon as she arrived here." He paused and looked at her as she looked up at him, taking her hand in his. "And I will always be grateful for that."
Lilith smiled a little, looking at Ingmar to see the grin on his face change. No longer did he look curious. Something resembling a sneer had replaced his grin.
"So the two of you must already be intended," he accused, trying not to glare and failing. "Given how close you are sitting to each other, and the ease with which you regard her."
Lilith didn't know what that meant, not even after everything she and Lagertha had talked about since her mother's miscarriage. Athelstan, however, understood Ingmar immediately.
"I assure you, my lord, that Lili and I are not intended," he nearly exclaimed even though he did not release her hand. "If and when the day ever comes for her to choose a husband, it will be her choice. And in any case, Ragnar would not marry her off to the first man who showed an interest in her. He cares for her too much."
"Don't be so sure of that, Steward," Ingmar taunted and smiled broadly. "I have four sisters, all younger than me. The youngest has just now turned fourteen, and my father has already brokered an alliance with a Jarl in Götland when she is old enough to make the journey on her own. Her elder sister was married to a Jarl in Denmark when she was sixteen, and their elder sisters were married to men who had promised money and men to my father. It is the way of our people, to join our families and make a stronger dynasty that will last for generations. If your Earl wishes to do the same, he will make the smart choice. He will marry his daughter to a powerful man who will promise him even more fame than he has already acquired on his own. Any daughter would be a good match, but of course, it is his natural daughter who will bear the burden of doing her duty to her father. Once you've lived in our country a while longer, you will understand this as well. Perhaps the two of you will be married. Since you are not like anyone else around here, I doubt they would want to mix your blood with theirs."
The look of horror on Athelstan's face was unmistakable as he stared at Ingmar. For nearly a minute, neither he nor Lilith spoke. She glanced at Gyda as she sat on Bjorn's other side, and then down the table at Ragnar and Lagertha. What were they supposed to say? What were they supposed to do?
"You look uncomfortable, Steward," Ingmar teased. "Perhaps your Earl has already mentioned doing such a thing. If not, it will happen soon. My father barely waited a day after my sisters began their moon blood to make marriage alliances for them. And this one," he said, nodding to Lilith like she couldn't speak or even react, "looks strong enough."
"Please, my lord," Athelstan shouted, bringing everyone's attention to him. He huffed and rose quickly, moving around to Ragnar's side and whispering to him urgently. Ragnar looked in Ingmar's direction.
Lilith watched her father's face change from being open and smiling to a glare that looked worse than any she had ever seen. He took Athelstan's arm and pulled him closer, whispering back and then nudging Gyda up to follow him. Gyda stood up reluctantly, and then Athelstan moved to her side.
"Come, Lili," he commanded in a similar tone to the one he'd had after Lagertha's miscarriage. "It's time for you to see Elisef. We will find Edda and Þórunn on the way."
She didn't wait, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her away from the table. She glanced back only once, noticing that both Jarl Sigmund and Ingmar watched them leave with equally disappointed looks on their faces.
The walk out of the Great Hall and into the long house to find Edda and Þórunn was a silent, short one, and since the light was already diminishing, Lilith guessed their lesson with Elisef would be a brief one. But then Athelstan retrieved a basket from the kitchens and sent Amma and Gerda to the Great Hall to help Asa, and their intended destination was not so certain.
Athelstan directed the girls away from the long house once he had the basket, and they strode through the darkening streets of town to Elisef's house, where she had begun giving them lessons with men going to the healing hut for farming accidents. He never said anything to Gyda or even Lilith as they walked, not even when he knocked on Elisef's front door.
"Athelstan!" she exclaimed as she smiled. "What a surprise! Please come in."
She stepped aside so they could all enter her house, and she took their cloaks before she closed the door.
"Elisef, please accept my apologies for this unannounced visit," Athelstan said and bowed his head. "I know it is an odd day for us to come, but we required shelter for the night. For Earl Ragnar's daughters and their handmaidens. He said you would not mind having us for the night."
He handed her the basket, which turned out to hold bread and meat and cheese for a large group of people. Elisef took the basket graciously, glancing at Gyda and Lilith before she turned back toward the hearth at the center of her house.
"It is an honor to have al you at my hearth," she laughed, gently shaking her head. "I am surprised that Earl Ragnar thought of me, but might I ask why shelter is needed for his daughters and their handmaidens? Surely the long house would be more appropriate."
Athelstan glanced at Lilith and Gyda before he looked back at Elisef. "There are guests in the Great Hall who are not being . . . appropriate with the girls," he said with a sigh. "And I did not think they would be safe. Ragnar agreed with me. If it's too much of an imposition, I could find somewhere else for them to stay, but – "
"No, it's all right," she assured him, her hands up in surrender. "You've brought enough food for all of you. I'll simply have to find a place for you all to sleep. I'm sure Leif would not mind giving up his bed, and I'll share mine."
"What are you saying about me?" Leif asked as he emerged from the back room of the house. He stopped when he saw Athelstan and the girls with him, looking over at his mother. "What is this?"
"Leif," Elisef said and gestured to Athelstan. "The Earl's daughters and their handmaidens will be staying with us tonight. And we are honored to have them here with us. So I will expect you to give up your bed tonight. Is that understood?"
After a minute, Leif gave Athelstan a nod before he turned to face Lilith and Gyda. "Now, you see. I am a grown man, and I still have to do what my mother tells me. It would be my privilege to share my hearth and my food with Earl Ragnar's daughters. And his steward. I was just about to go get some meat for supper. It looks like I will be bringing more than usual home. Please excuse me."
He turned to leave when Athelstan stood up to follow him.
"I'll come with you," Athelstan said.
Leif didn't protest, nodding and gesturing to the door before they both left.
As soon as the men were gone, Elisef emptied the basket and spread out its contents over her table.
"Girls, come and help me," she requested. "While they are out, we will prepare these things for us to eat. Perhaps I will even teach you a few things."
Lilith led the way, sitting down with Edda beside her before Gyda and Þórunn sat on the other side of the table. They all began cutting up vegetables, and Elisef cut up the meat and cheese. They were all silent a minute before Lilith spoke without looking up from her task.
"Elisef, what does 'intended' mean?" she asked.
The older woman looked up from the food in front of her. "How do you mean, dear Lilith?"
Lilith inhaled deeply, exhaling loudly before she spoke. "Between a man and a woman," she said, finally looking up at Elisef.
For another minute, no one said anything. Elisef sat down so she could face the girls as they all looked at her. "Has a boy shown an interest in you, Lilith?" she asked in a dire tone.
"No," Lilith shook her head. "At least, I don't think so. But – Just now, at the feast, Jarl Sigmund's son Ingmar implied that Athelstan and I are intended. Athelstan said that we are not, but what does it mean?"
Elisef also took a deep breath and reached for Lilith's hands. "Lilith, Dear One, being someone's intended means very simply that they intend to marry you. Just as Earl Ragnar is married to Lagertha. And I was married to my precious Erik. Though, I can guess that is not how the Jarl's son meant it when he spoke." She paused for just a few seconds, squeezing Lilith's hands. "You care for Athelstan a great deal, my child. And he cares for you. Beyond that it does not matter what people from the outside will say or think. People like the Jarl and his son only see the world one way. But it is not the only way. Hmm?"
Lilith glanced at Edda and then Þórunn before she finally looked at Gyda. Her sister nodded, and then Lilith nodded. Elisef caressed her cheek and smiled, standing up from the table.
"Finish with the vegetables," she gestured. "Once I have meat, we will begin cooking."
Athelstan and Leif returned with two full burlap sacks of chicken and pork, and Elisef almost immediately got to work preparing their supper. Lilith sat and watched as the three adults worked around the cauldron above the hearth, her eyes never leaving Athelstan as he helped Leif debone the chicken. She had seen him do it dozens of times, even now that they lived in town and had other servants to do it for him. She wasn't sure what was different now, but somehow, it was just different.
Supper was quiet, especially since neither Lilith nor Gyda had eaten much at the feast for Jarl Sigmund and his son. They were both full to the brim and exhausted by the time they turned in for bed, and Elisef helped them, as well as Edda and Þórunn to the back where the beds were waiting for them. Once she had a partition up, the girls undressed for bed to their slip dresses and eased under the furs on Elisef and Leif's beds. Elisef spent a few minutes unbraiding her hair and taking out her earrings, and once she finished, she also slipped under the furs beside Lilith and Edda.
"All right, girls," she said to them all. "Sleep well. I'll see you all in the morning."
Lilith turned so her back was to Edda's chest, and her dear friend wrapped her arms around her so they could both keep warm. She fell asleep as gently as she ever had, despite so many questions still circling around in her head.
Thankfully, Jarl Sigmund and his son did not stay longer than a few days. Lilith was not sorry to see them go, especially since Gyda was practically glued to their father's side at every meal and always disappeared into the long house whenever possible. Bjorn didn't seem too upset for the men to leave either, but he never said anything to Lilith or Gyda. Whatever the Jarl came to discuss, he left without coming to an agreement with Ragnar, but Lilith never found out what it was. Maybe the man had come to make alliance with Ragnar. He left without accomplishing his goal.
Winter settled in for a second time after they had moved to town, and with new books, parchment and quills, they spent much of their time inside at the breakfast table learning new passages to read and write. Athelstan managed to find them paint and brushes, and as the short days stretched on, they all found themselves gathered around the hearth hearing stories about the gods like they had done when they had been with Floki.
For a little while, a few weeks, it looked like Ragnar and Lagertha had reconciled, and Lilith was happy to see them close again. If it was any indication, perhaps they would soon have a new baby soon. Ragnar was still quiet in the mornings, but he always had a smile for Lilith and Gyda at the breakfast table. Elisef came to the long house for their lessons as it got colder outside, and they brought in more furs for their beds.
Since they could not go outside the explore, Lilith and Gyda helped Lagertha and Siggy at the loom, spinning yarn and organizing the material for new dresses and tunics. Þórunn and Edda had to split their time staying with Gyda and Lilith, while they also helped Ingrid in the kitchens. Amma and Gerda spent most of their time doing that as well.
Then at the beginning of the year, during a heavy snowstorm, Lagertha woke in the middle of the night screaming like she had the night of her last miscarriage. This time, Ragnar was in the bed with her, and when Ingrid came to tell Lilith and Gyda, she told them Lagertha had more than likely only been a month or so pregnant. Lilith didn't go looking for Athelstan that night. She stayed with Gyda and prayed for Lagertha to recover. But she also had so many questions.
Why could Lagertha not have another baby? Why would the gods not bless her with another child, when it was so obvious that she wanted one desperately? Lilith had to admit that she knew very little about how long a woman could have children, but Lagertha did not seem so old. And she was so kind and compassionate with her children. Any child would be lucky to have Lagertha as a mother.
Ragnar came back after almost a day, and his quiet demeanor only got worse. He no longer smiled at Lilith or Gyda, and as the days stretched out into more weeks, the distance between Ragnar and Lagertha grew to the point that everyone noticed. Athelstan tried a few times to get them talking at breakfast, but it never worked. So instead he focused on getting the girls ready for Spring.
The last snows fell less than a week before the birds began singing again, and the snow melted just as quickly as it had fallen, allowing them all the leave the long house, and not too soon. Ragnar could not leave the long house quickly enough, and on one occasion, he and Athelstan disappeared into the woods after breakfast and did not return until the next morning with the prize of buck for the butcher and a new pelt for Athelstan's bed beside the hearth. That was when Ragnar made an announcement to the town.
"My friends! I know it will soon by time for us to raid again," he said to which many people murmured agreement. He glanced at Lagertha and then at his children as they sat near him, and he looked up at Athelstan before he spoke. "But this year, I have decided instead that it is long overdue that we pay tribute to our gods. You are all aware that this year marks the end of a nine-year wait for our festival at Uppsala. This summer, we shall travel there and partake in the nine-day celebration of our gods and our people, because while it is always important for us to provide for our families and our community, it is also important to remember who makes all of this possible. I will expect everyone able to make the journey to come with us and rejoice in the gods!"
The people gathered dispersed slowly, and Ragnar gestured for Lilith and Gyda, and Bjorn to come closer to him, and once they were sitting around him, he spoke quietly.
"My children, this will be a monumental occasion for us as a family," he informed them. "Your mother and I once attended the festival when we were much younger, and now you will all be going for the first time. I want this to be a wondrous experience for all of you, so if there is anything you wish to know, all you have to do is ask me or your mother. And you, Lilith, especially will want to observe and absorb as much as you can, for you will see the very essence of our culture when you see the temple at Uppsala."
Ragnar's enthusiasm rubbed off on Lilith easily, and she smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her head gently. When he leaned away, she looked up at Athelstan as he watched them and then spoke up.
"What about Athelstan?" she asked. "Will he be coming as well?"
Ragnar glanced up at Athelstan as well, a familiar smirk appearing on his face that Lilith hadn't seen in months, and he laughed softly. "Of course he will come," he said. "If that is his wish."
Lilith looked at Gyda, and together, they both looked up at Athelstan. "Will you come, Athelstan?" Lilith asked. "The whole family is coming. You should come as well."
It took a minute, but when he saw how everyone was looking at him, he bowed his head and nodded.
"Of course I will come," he agreed. "We're a family, after all. We should all go together. I will simply have Ingrid look after everything here."
Lilith smiled and looked up at Ragnar, seeing the smirk on his face even more prominent and wondering what he was thinking. It had been a long time since she had seen this look about him, probably not since she had seen him the first time almost two years previous.
Once the assembly was over, Ragnar left yet again, and Lagertha disappeared into the back of the Great Hall, leaving Athelstan to manage the servants as they began cooking supper. Lilith and Gyda left the Great Hall to find Edda and Þórunn in the long house, and they all sat around the hearth talking about the upcoming festival.
"You are both so lucky to be going," Edda gushed as she sat braiding Lilith's hair. "Everyone who is old enough to have gone before says it is an amazing experience. And to travel there is a great journey. I wish I could go with you."
"Edda, why can you not go?" Lilith asked.
Edda glanced at Gyda and then Þórunn before she spoke obviously. "Slaves are not usually allowed to go," she stated plainly.
Lilith thought back to what Ragnar had said about Athelstan going with them, and it was curious. If slaves were not usually allowed to go to Uppsala, then how was Athelstan allowed to go? Wasn't he still a slave?
The next day was warm enough for them to not only leave the long house for a little while, but to also leave town to explore the woods. Athelstan and Bjorn both took Lilith and Gyda into the awaiting wilderness with Edda and Þórunn in town with a basket of food, assuring them all it would be well before supper when they got back into town. Bjorn took his bow so he could hunt, and Þórunn carried an extra basket to pick wild mushrooms.
"Lili, I want you to stay close to Gyda and Edda," Athelstan instructed as they walked along a path barely beaten into the ground. "No wandering off today, all right?"
Lilith sighed as she held Gyda's hand, making her way up into the trees as they stood tall as the sky. The birds beckoned her forward, and Edda led them to a small clearing where wild flowers already grew.
"We should pick some flowers," Edda said, reaching for Gyda's hand so they could ease along the edge of the tall grass.
Lilith let them go, moving around the tree trunks to pick up sticks for a small fire. The birds sang so sweetly that she could not stop listening to them, keeping the trees to her right and the clearing to her left so she could look back and see Edda and Gyda. She wasn't even looking when she saw the doe in front of her as it stared at her. Lilith didn't move, not wanting to scare it away. It only took a step or two toward her before it turned and ran away. She thought it was strange, continuing in her task and looking down to see a bird lying on the ground. It was dead.
With a look behind her, Lilith knelt to the ground and gently lifted the bird in her hands. She had never seen dead animals before, not like this. It was cold but still soft, so it must have just died. Lilith held it just half a minute before it suddenly sprung to life, chirping loudly and flapping it wings, almost shaking away whatever had overtaken it. It appeared almost like it gazed up at her before it flew away, singing its song and disappearing into the trees above her. Lilith was confused. How could a dead animal come back to life?
With her sticks in hand, Lilith ran back around the edge of the clearing, into the trees where she had left Athelstan. He was sorting through the mushrooms Þórunn had picked, and when he saw her running to him, he turned to catch her just as she got to him.
"Lili, what's wrong? Why are you running?"
"I found a bird! It was on the ground, it was dead! But then it was alive! And it flew away!"
He lifted his hands to her face, speaking calmly. "Lili, stop shouting. I'm right here. Now slow down and start again. What happened?"
Lilith took as deep a breath as she could, lifting her hands to his arms. "I was gathering sticks for a fire," she said and inhaled again. "Gyda and Edda were picking flowers. There was a doe, but it ran off. I looked down and there was a bird on the ground. It was dead. I knew because it was cold. But then it came back to life! I didn't think dead animals could do that."
The confusion on Athelstan's face was as plain as day, and he looked around to see that at that moment, it was just the two of them in the spot where he'd caught her. He lay his hands on her shoulders, sighing softly before he spoke again.
"It's all right, Lili," he assured her. "I'm sure it wasn't dead. The branches of the trees are so high up. It probably fell and hit the ground. Sometimes, when that happens, the birds can look like they're dead, except they are usually only asleep."
He sounded so certain, but Lilith shook her head. "But it was so cold," she pressed. "Doesn't that mean its heart stopped? I touched it, and it came to life!"
Gently, he caressed her cheek. "I'm sure that's how it seemed. But I've seen it before, and besides, people can't bring things back from the dead. Only God can do that, and sometimes, even He cannot do that. It flew away, didn't it?"
Lilith nodded, breathing deeply again and feeling the urgency of what had happened fade slowly.
"Then everything is as it should be. Come on. You can help me sort through the mushrooms. And then you can practice your drawing. It's been too long since we got to do that, hmm?"
With one last deep breath, she slipped her hand into his when he offered it, sitting down on a fallen log to look through the basket of mushrooms. She thought back to the bird, so certain of what she had seen and felt, but maybe Athelstan was right. Maybe it hadn't been dead at all.
The time to leave for Uppsala came more quickly than Lilith expected, even with Athelstan and Bjorn walking into the woods with her and Gyda every other day. Edda and Þórunn went with them, and sometimes Amma and Gerda did as well. The animals all came out as it got warmer, and the flowers blossomed brighter. The closer they got to summer, the more it felt like they were approaching something important.
People in town began talking about the festival not long after it was announced, and by the time they were all ready to leave, it was all anyone could talk about. Even the slaves could not speak about anything else. Lilith had never seen or heard anything like it.
"How will we get to Uppsala?" Lilith asked as she and Gyda helped Lagertha pack up their sleeping bundles.
"Well, first, we will take the boats," Lagertha told her. "It is a long way to the temple, and it is easier to sail most of the way there. When we reach the other side of the fjord, we will begin walking, and then we will reach the hills and mountains. It will take quite a few days, so I want you and Gyda to wear your boots. You can take your shoes for when we visit the grove."
Lilith nodded as she handed Gyda the last of their belongings. "Why do we only go to Uppsala every nine years?" she asked.
Lagertha glanced at Gyda and grinned slightly, sitting on the bed and beckoning Lilith to her. She took Lilith under her arm and squeezed her shoulder gently. "It is because the number nine is very important to us. There are nine worlds within the limbs of Yggdrasil, the source of all life. The god Heimdallr had nine mothers to give him life. Njörðr and his wife Skaði spent nine nights each in Thrymheim and Nóatún when disagreeing on where to live. And the great god Odin hanged from Yggdrasil for nine days and nights to receive the knowledge of everything. And while we honor our gods every day, the festival at Uppsala is an especially important time for us to honor them and please them. When we arrive and after we are blessed, I will explain it all to you. Right now, go and get your satchels with your new journals. I'm sure you will want to remember every moment of this journey."
Lilith smiled and nodded again, following Gyda out of the room and hurrying to where Þórunn and Edda were finishing with packs of clothes and the necklaces Ragnar had given them the year previous.
"I wish you could come with us," Lilith said to Edda.
"You will simply have to remember all of it and tell me about it when you return," Edda said as she helped Lilith with the bundle of her clothes.
Lilith sighed softly, remembering why Edda couldn't go and thinking it was silly. She took the bundle, and together, she and Edda followed Gyda and Þórunn out into the main room of the long house where Athelstan was waiting for them. Leif was with him, already carrying a large pack on his back.
"Come along, girls," Athelstan called. "We have a long journey ahead of us."
Leif stepped in and took the bundles, stepping back to wait patiently as Athelstan spoke to Edda and Þórunn.
"I want both of you to help Ingrid when she needs you, and try to look after Amma and Gerda," he requested, claiming their shoulders and rubbing them gently when they both nodded. "And don't let anyone else give you any trouble. Helge and Egil might not be in town anymore, but you still need to be careful. All right?"
They nodded again, and he leaned in to kiss their foreheads before he turned to guide Lilith and Gyda out of the long house. Leif followed them closely, taking up the rear of their band as they walked through town to the docks where everyone else who was going loaded up the boats.
"Find a place to sit away from midship, Lili," Athelstan instructed. "Gyda, sit with your sister. We will — "
"Athelstan!" Ragnar yelled. "Come sit with me. We must talk about something important."
Athelstan only hesitated a moment before Ragnar waved, and he sighed as he stood over Lilith and Gyda. "Both of you stay here," he commanded as gently as he could. "I'll come back when it's time to eat."
And with that, he moved to the bow of the ship where Ragnar waited, sitting down and huddling close as Ragnar spoke. They both glanced back at her and Gyda just once before looking away, and Lilith pushed out a heavy breath.
"Do not worry, Lilith," Leif said as he sat beside her rowing them out of the fjord. "I'll stay right here with you and Gyda. Hmm?"
Lilith looked up at him, seeing his smile and smiling back before she settled in for her first voyage since arriving in Kattgat two years earlier.
I've said this before, but I love doing research for stories, since I learn all these interesting things about what I'm writing about. And I love making additions like those to the story.
Pay attention to the bird. It's important.
I'm finishing up the last few chapters, and I'm so closing to the end now. I hope everyone likes it!
Thanks to everyone who's added this to their favorites and follows, and thanks to the few who have reviewed. I really appreciate it!
Until next time!