A/N: Hey guys, I am so sorry it has been so long. I promise I havent abandoned this story, I've just hit such a dry spell creatively this chapter took a long time to write and I am still not completely happy with it. I am already working on the next chapter and it is coming easier so I am hoping to have an update a little quicker this time. As always thank you for sticking with me :)
It was well past six p.m. when Christian finally re-entered the apartment. Ana had been waiting for him on the sofa, reading to pass the time. She wanted to snip at him over his running off that morning without telling her, but one look at his haggard appearance had her holding her tongue. He looked like he had been through the ringer.
"Christian, are you okay?" She asked instead as he stepped into the living area of the penthouse. He sighed heavily in response.
"I need a drink." He murmured. He moved past the living room and into the kitchen where he poured himself a large glass of red wine. Ana extricated herself from the sofa and went to join him at the counter.
"Would you like a glass?" He asked as an afterthought.
"No Christian, I'm fine. What's the matter? Did something happen?"
"No. Yes. I don't know. Fuck." He was scattered, unable to look her in the eye. He continuously ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit which left him looking even more disheveled.
"Christian, what happened?" Ana asked again.
"Elena Fucking Lincoln. That's what happened. She's arranged a little dinner party…One she'd like us to attend. She wants me to bring you…and there's only a small list of reasons why she would want that, and none of them are good." He admitted. Ana sighed.
"Christian, that's easy. We go to the party." She stated. Christian shook his head immediately.
"Too dangerous." He retorted.
"Christian, I told you, I can handle it."
"You don't even know what you are saying, Anastasia. Trust me on that." Christian bent over the counter and rest his head in his hands. "This is all my fault." He groaned. Ana stepped forward then and gently enveloped the man in a hug. She held him tight against her body. He was tormenting himself. She knew she could help him. But it would mean breaking the one rule she knew she could not break. She couldn't tell him who she was. But maybe she could still help.
"Christian, I told you, you have to stop treating me like a victim here. If you treated me more like a partner, I might be able to help." She implored him.
"A partner would have a choice. Anastasia. You have none." He was resolute. Ana signed. She stepped closer to him. She was tired of playing this cat and mouse game. It was time for her to be the cat.
"I do have a choice." She insisted as she approached him, She gently pressed her body against his, sliding her hand up to his cheek to caress him. "I choose to trust you, Christian. I wish you would trust me too."
"I do trust yo—" Ana silenced him with a press of her fingertip to his lips.
"If you trusted me," She smiled kindly at him, "You would stop pushing me away." She placed her palm on his chest, over where his heart was, their eyes locked together. The heady scent of vanilla and musk invaded her senses. She could tell from the way his pupils dilated that she was affecting him too.
"You want me…" Ana breathed.
Christian turned his body from her, increasing the space between them and rebuffing her actions all at once.
"No…I cant…" He said under his breath, more to himself than to her. He was warring with himself again.
"Why?" Ana demanded, "Why can't you?"
"Ana…I told you what kind of man I am. The things that I like." Christian almost growled, pounding his fist down on the counter. "I am not the kind of man who should be your…your first."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Ana snapped. Christian's head snapped up, his grey eyes wide and looking at her.
"What?"
"You heard me." She snapped. "That's the stupidest and downright most misogynistic thing you could ever say. It's not for you or anyone else to decide if you're worthy. *I* get to decide that. My virginity is not something to be taken or something to be worthy of. It's something for me to give when I see fit and when I *choose* and to whom *I* choose." She slammed her own fist down on the counter for emphasis. "If you think otherwise, than maybe you're right and we shouldn't." she finished. She coould feel her cheeks reddening from anger as her voice rose.
Christian looked like a fish out of water after her outburst. He opened his mouth to say something. Then closed it again. Then opened it. Then closed it and swallowed hard. Then he chuckled softly.
"I'm sorry, was something I said *funny*?" She snipped. Christian's chuckle turned into a full blown laugh at that before he quickly composed himself by pretending to cough.
"I don't mean to laugh Ms. Steele. I am sorry." He looked at her seriously then "You are a strong, smart, capable, sensual woman and I'm sorry I've been treating you like anything less than that. Truly."
Ana sensed his sincerity ,but she also knew he was a stubborn man.
"You haven't said you were going to stop doing it yet." She pressed. Christian chuckled again.
"Right again, Miss Steele." He agreed, this time smiling at her more forlornly. "It is…..difficult for me, to think of you as anything other than my responsibility. And to be fair, I've never thought about wanting more with… anyone before. But you…you've been through so much, and you still stand tall, you roll your eyes at me, you call me on my bullshit. No one in your position has ever done that before Anastasia. I'm usually quite intimidating." His grin was a little softer now. Ana huffed.
"You don't intimidate me ." It was a challenge.
"I am well aware, Miss Steele." He smiled again.
"So…where does that leave us?" She asked. Christian sighed.
"I don't know. "
"Maybe if we…take things slow? " Ana tried. Christian tensed next to her.
"Take things…slow?" He was hesitant but she could feel how badly he wanted to give in.
"Yes." Ana confirmed, "Slow…like this." Tenderly, she invaded his space again, gently she touched his arms, sliding her finger tips up the length of them to his shoulders. She wrapper her arms around his neck and he found himself in her gaze again. "Kiss me?" She made the request and bit her lip in invitation.
"Ana…." Christian was tense.
"Just one kiss…" She assured "I'm not asking for anything more…"
She saw Christian swallow, his body was tense and he was nervous. She stayed still, but kept her arms wrapped around his neck to prevent him from turning away from her again.
"One…kiss..," Christian repeated her words back to her and she nodded. He pursed his lips, and Ana parted hers in invitation. He leaned in tentatively, his lips touching hers just barely, she leaned into him and deepened the kiss. He stiffened but only momentarily before he melted into her. It was tender, restrained passion, and Ana did not push for more. The broke the kiss as slowly as they'd started it. She smiled up at him when they parted.
"Was that okay?" She asked, tugging her lower lip into her mouth to stop herself from demanding another, more passionate kiss. Christian swallowed and nodded. Ana exhaled of relief.
"Good. Now…I know this dinner party think you mentioned is going to be dangerous, but I can take it- I promise- I will do whatever you tell me to do. And we can practice some more, so what happened with your dad doesn't happen again. Would that be okay?"
Christian was gaping at her- she'd switched back into training and problem-solving mode and he didn't know how to handle it.
"How are you so brave?" He asked. Ana felt herself blush in response.
"Im not…" She began.
"You are…even now- I feel terrified , but you are just ready to dive right in, How?" He pressed.
"I'm not brave….I…I do what I have to. Like you. " She smiled at him a little sadly and he nodded.
"Still…we cannot go to Elena Lincoln's party, Anastasia. I cant protect you there." He tried to remain stalwart in is decision, but Ana could see him faltering.
"Do we really have a choice though?" She asked. Christian sighed.
"No….we don't."
"Are we ready to try again?" Ana asked the man before her.
Christian looked hesitant only for a moment, then resolute. They'd agreed to practice, this time for Christian's benefit. And Ana had given him some pointers on ways to manhandle her in front of others. If Christian was supposed to be unstable and violent, he needed to appear more unstable and violent – if within a month or two he was supposed to beat her or strangle her to death as was the plan, it needed to appear like he was actually capable of such acts. Christian had not enjoyed the idea, but the thought that his father might distrust him seemed to have him concerned and so he'd agreed to her plan.
"Yes. Let's go again." He affirmed.
"Good." She smiled, "Midnight."
She stepped towards him again and lowered her gaze to his chin.
"When you slap me, don't just slap me once. Do it three times, fast and hard, all on the same cheek. It's more aggressive, more violent." She coached. He took a deep breath then responded.
"Don't tell me what to do you, stupid bitch." Christian snapped back and then followed her instructions precisely, slapping her hard three times in a row. She yelled out and fell to her knees in a heap, holding her rapidly reddening cheek.
"Y-yes Master, I-Im sorry master!" She yipped back.
"9 AM." Christian released them both and dropped to her side immediately.
"Are you okay?" He asked, gently cupping the bruised cheek "Was that too hard? I'm sorry - I—"
"Christian shh- you are fine, and I am fine." She smiled. "That was perfect. Look." She turned her head to the side to show off the cheek. "Surface bruising, you can't fake that. It's what they would be looking for." Christian assessed her critically.
"You seem pretty confident you know what someone like my father would be looking for in this regard. Why is that, Anastasia?" Christian asked her, seriously. She could hear the suspicion in his voice. She'd slipped into training mode, which was a mistake given how little he knew of her actual background. She thought up a lie quickly to cover.
"Because I…Well I know a bit about abusive households, myself. And I know what they are like – both verbally and physically." She answered vaguely.
"Your foster family?" Christian pressed, stroking her cheek softly where he'd struck it before. "The one that seemed nice?" His grey eyes were boring into hers, it felt like they were boring into her very soul. She hated to lie to those eyes – for the first time in a long time, she felt guilty about not telling the truth.
"That's the one." She smiled sadly back at him, hating the fact that she had to lie to him. "Now…should we try again?"
Christian assessed her somberly before making a decision.
"No – I think we've practiced enough for today. I've conceded Ms. Steele that you were right and a few new 'Midnight mode scripts' wouldn't hurt. But I don't think this is the right way to go about things. I wont physically harm you just to practice- it makes no sense and goes against my vow to keep you safe."
"I can take it, I promise." She gave him a wider, more encouraging smile. She really could take it – and she thought it important that Christian see and understand that, so he would not hesitate if called upon to act in the company of others. Christian frowned in response.
"It appears that your safety and well-being is only important to one of us. And I don't intend to ignore that particular responsibility because you think you can handle something you shouldn't even have to worry about." He stroked her cheek again before adding, somewhat more subdued, "I don't like that I bruised you. I hope you can forgive me."
"Christian," Ana sighed in frustration. "I told you. It's not that bad – and I can take it. I can take anything you can dish out." She grinned again and this time Christian grinned in response.
"Anything, Ms. Steele?" He quipped.
"Anything, Master Grey." She teased, and bit her lip in that way that she knew drove him a little wild. He was caught in her gaze then, the mood between them shifting again, turning electric in a heart beat as they both thought of the possibilities behind the words they'd just shared.
"I wouldn't write checks my ass couldn't cash, if I were you, Ms. Steele." He quipped again, recovering from the brief moment between then and standing back up. He reached down a hand to help her up.
"You've been admiring my ass, have you?" Ana teased.
"I'd have to be a dead man not to." He quipped back and then blushed, covering his embarrassment by quickly moving from the living room back into the kitchen. He opened his wine-refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of pinot grigio.
"Would you like one?" He asked, while pouting himself a glass. Ana nodded and sat at the kitchen counter. He poured her a glass and handed it to her, before leaning back against the opposite countertop in a faux relaxed position.
"Can I ask you a question?" Ana asked then, regarding him as she sipped her wine. She saw him tense before he responded.
"Very well," he conceded.
"Why are you so afraid of Elena Lincoln?"
"I am not afraid of Elena Lincoln. I know what she is capable of…there's a difference."
"That's fair. But then why does she hold so much power over you, and your father? I thought you were the top of the food chain, so to speak?" Christian cracked a smile as he sipped from his wine.
"We are…but Elena is dangerous. You know what they say, Anastasia. 'Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.' Elena is a threat, and one my father demands I manage."
"What do you think might happen at this dinner party?" Ana pressed further.
"I don't know exactly, Anastasia. And that's the problem – there are too many variables and in that kind of scenario I can't keep you safe."
"That's why we should practice more. We have a few more days before the dinner party, yeah? "
"I don't like it….but it seems like the only option we have…but as I said before, it's getting late and we are done for the night- unfortunately I have one more thing I need to do before bed." Christian sighed and drank a large amount of wine from his glass, whatever he had to do, he didn't look forward to it.
"What do you have to do?" Ana asked.
"I need to speak to my brother. Face-to-face I think, to get it through that thick skull of his that he can't push our father off forever." Christian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He did not seem to be looking forward to this call.
"Can I help at all?" she asked. Christian shook his head. "Stay here, I'll be right back."
Christian set his glass down on the counter and retreated down the hallway to his office. About a minute later, he returned with a laptop which he set down on the counter next to his glass before taking a seat at one of the high top chairs. He gestured for Ana to join him and she did so.
"I've got a secure channel I can use to video-conference Elliot," He explained, "And you may as well meet him now too because he will be the one smuggling you out of the country when the time comes." Ana nodded her agreement and Christian opened a program on the laptop, typing in a long string of characters that had to be a passcode in order to pull up a video chat screen. There was only one contact listed- Elliot Grey. Christian sighed and clicked on the contact on the screen. The video window opened as a tinny ringing began. Christian sat, staring resolutely at the screen.
It took several long minutes of ringing before the video chat came to life. The lap-top screen blinked onto what Ana would have considered to be a cross between a laid-back Parisian and a Californian surfer-dude, if Ana did not already know that the man was the eldest son of the most notorious slaver on the West Coast. Elliot Grey was handsome, like Christian, but his smile came easier. He was sipping on a mimosa and sitting on a lounge chair outside on what appeared to be a beautiful terrace. Ana could see the morning Parisian sky-line behind him.
"Good morning baby bro, what has you up this late in the evening? Someone fun I hope," The blonde waggled his eyebrows at Christian over the screen before he noticed Ana . He winked at her before adding "Ah, looks like I was right."
"Don't be crass, Elliot." Christian admonished. "I'm calling on business." Elliot snorted in disapproval.
"It's always business with you. Aren't you going to at least introduce me to your lovely lady friend there first?" Ana let herself blush as if flattered.
"Elliot, this is Anastasia. Anastasia, this is my brother Elliot. Elliot, Anastasia won't be staying with me long and she will need a place to live in the next couple of months. I'm thinking perhaps Sweden?"
"Yes of course." Elliot sobered slightly, "Sweden is lovely this time of year. I'll see what I can do."
"Babe, who are you talking to?" A voice off camera called. Christian's eyes narrowed and his brother had the good form to look sheepish as he grinned and shrugged.
"Just my brother, Katie, not a big deal- he's trying to guilt me into coming home for my father's birthday." He replied cavalierly. Elliot was sharp, like his brother – Ana noted – and like Christian, he hid it well, she wondered how much of the man's care-free attitude was an act and how much was genuine.
"Who is that?" Christian asked, eyes still narrowed.
"Just a girl." Elliot played his response nonchalant, but Christian wasn't buying it.
"A girl, Elliot? Are you insane?"
"Look, it's not anything serious. And I'm allowed to have a life- what's the big deal?"
"Elliot…you know exactly how dangerous that is- what are you thinking?"
"It's just a fling okay ? And it's not a big deal. I'm being careful. "
Christian looked like he was ready to rage at Elliot's response, but he held back.
"Fine…you know why I called. Father's birthday gala is coming up – and he wont take no for an answer.." Christian began.
"Ellie? Ellie is that Christian? Can I talk to him?!" A separate, excited voice could be heard in the background. Ana watched the features contort into a myriad of emotions as he hurriedly tried to talk to his brother.
"Elliot- no. No we don't have time—I need to.." The computer image bounded and shook as Elliot's laptop was clearly lifted from its setting and shifted to turn to the owner of the voice. Ana looked from the screen to Christian as the man sighed before adding a resigned "Hi Mia."
"Christian! It's so good to see you! I've missed you so much! How have you been? You must come to Paris soon! I can hardly stand not seeing you for so long."
The girl on the screen looked to be about 22 years old. Her light blue eyes were far too big for her face and her jet-black hair was fashioned into a stylish bob. She was practically bouncing on the screen in her enjoyment, the picture of youthful innocence. Anastasia had not expected that. Not at all, given the way Christian had described the harrowing experience the girl had been through. You would never guess it to look at her now.
"You know that isn't possible, Mia. It's too dangerous," Christian had adopted that disaffected tone of his, but Ana was certain she heard a faint hint of amusement in his response. The young woman stuck her tongue out at him in annoyance and crossed her arms over her chest in the perfect, petulant pout.
"Elliot said you'd say that! You're just a big old spoilsport." She huffed.
"Elliot agrees with me." Christian retorted, entirely nonplussed. "He just doesn't want to tell you that because it is easier for me to be the bad guy."
"You wound me, little bro!" The image on the monitor shook briefly as the laptop was turned until it settled back on the handsome face of Elliot Grey.
"Elliot." Christian nodded somberly to his brother getting back to business. "Father has been asking about you,"
"Quelle Surpríse." Elliot sighed, his carefree demeanor vanishing in an instant.
"He says you are past due for a visit. He's expecting you to be present for his birthday gala." Christian continued.
"I was just there over Christmas." Elliot groaned, "The old man can deal without the pleasure of my company for a few months."
"Elliot!" Christian snapped, an edge to his tone that Ana knew well by now. Something had him more than a little bothered and he was fraying at the edges.
"Father has been asking about you. He expects you to be at his birthday gala. If you do not show up, there will be punishment. And we both know on whom Father enjoys exacting his punishments. You think Mia is safe in Paris? You think your girl is safe?"
"She HAS a name, Christian—"Elliot interrupted him through clenched teeth. Both brothers, it seemed, were not that great with their anger management. Christian continued as though Elliot had not even spoken.
"They are ONLY safe so long as we comply with Father's will. If you do not come to Seattle of your own volition, He WILL send for you. And when they come for you, they will find your girl, find Mia. What do you think will happen to them then? Do you want their blood on your hands?!"
"Shut up, Christian!"
"You want their screams to haunt your nightmares?!"
"Shut UP!"
"You want—"
"I said shut the fuck up Christian! You made your point! Jesus!" Elliot shouted into the screen, slamming the table in frustration. Christian remained as calm and stoic as ever.
"He will expect you to arrive a couple of days early. I will send my jet for you early that week."
"Fine. Good. Whatever." Elliott shoved the laptop screen and it shook as he stood from his seat and stormed off camera. The screen shook again, a little more gently this time, and the empty chair wad replaced with Mia's somber looking face.
"You shouldn't rile him up like that, Christian." She chastised gently.
"I wouldn't have to, if Elliot would just play his damn part." Christian cursed.
"It's not as easy for him as it is for you." She countered.
"You think this is easy for me?" Christian's voice was soft, Ana knew he was hurt by his sister's words, even if he didn't let his face show it.
"You know what I mean, Christian…" Mia trailed off, looking suddenly uncomfortable in her own skin, a far cry from the casual girl that had first appeared on screen. Christian clearly noticed too because he shifted gears almost immediately.
"Hey now…come on don't give me that face Mimi." Christian adopted a lighter, more playful tone. Ana watched the corner of Mia's mouth twitch, she was trying to suppress a smile, a trait strikingly familiar to Christian's.
"Don't call me that!" Mia snapped, her tone also shifting to a more of a banter.
"Don't call you what? Mimi? Why not, Mimi? Don't you like it? Mimi?" Christian was teasing her now, playing in a way Ana had not seen him play with anyone else.
'I'd watch it if I were you, Mister." She sassed right back then sobered. "I know it isn't easy for you either, Christian. I didn't mean it that way."
"It's okay Mia. I know. I miss you. I'm sorry I can't be there with you. "
"I'm sorry you can't be here too Christy." She regarded him almost longingly before she turned her attention to Ana and her bright smile returned. "She's really pretty, Christian!" she stage-whispered at her brother.
"Mia!" Christian admonished. Ana grinned at them as Mia made a show of looking past her brother.
"Don't let him bully you!" She spoke to Ana this time "My brothers a big ol' softy- I swear!" Ana grinned at the girl.
"Oh , I know! " She replied, much to Christian's chagrin.
"That's enough!" He snapped. "Mia…will you please… talk to Elliot for me?" Christian added, softer.
"Of course."
"Thank you. We have to go now, but it was good to see you Mia. "
"You too." She offered him a smile and Christian nodded before he closed the laptop, breaking off the call. He sighed heavily to himself before getting out off the counter stool.
"That's done…" he murmured quietly to himself and checked his watch. It was well past midnight at this point. "I'm sorry I've kept you up this late, Anastasia. I'm sure you are exhausted. "
"I'm alright, Christian. " The veracity of her words was undercut by the yawn that immediately followed.
"Hmmm….yes, I can see that." Christian grinned. Ana yawned again and grinned back at him a bit sheepishly.
"Walk me to my room?" She asked. Christian looked befuddled by the request.
"Oh, sure…of course. This way." He ushered her out of the kitchen and living area and down the hallway towards the playroom and her room beyond. When they reached the door, Ana turned back around to Christian.
"One more kiss goodnight?" She asked, softly. Again, Christian seemed flustered and taken aback.
"Anastasia…"
"Just a kiss. I said take things slow, not push the break button indefinitely." She teased. Christian glared at her and she blinked at him, doe-eyed.
"Very well." He reached down to caress her cheek where he'd struck it earlier, "I still don't like that I bruised you." He murmured. "I shouldn't have done that." Ana leaned into the touch to show him she held no ill will.
He leaned down further, his lips tenderly caressing hers in a chaste goodnight kiss. She pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. She didn't want to push too hard, but she knew she couldn't leave it all to him.
"Mmm…" She murmured happily against his chin when they broke the kiss.
"Good night, Christian."
"Good night Anastasia."
"Sweet dre—" Christian cut her off, rushing her, entering her personal space and pushing her up against her bedroom door. In the next instance, his lips were crushing against her own and his hands were sliding down her waist with the kind of passion she knew he had in him.
His lips claimed her own, his body pressing into hers against the wall. Ana was stunned into inaction- she'd not anticipated Christian making a move of any kind and it was taking her brain a few seconds to catch up.
When Christian broke the kiss again, he looked at her in shock, as if he'd surprised himself. His eyes were dark and he was panting slightly. He stepped back from her.
"I'm sorry, Ana – I shouldn't have—"
"Oh shut up will you and kiss me again." She demanded, grabbing him by the lapels and pulling him in again . He did as he was told, his tongue dancing with hers, his body pressing hers into the door once more. She was through taking things slow.