SURPRISE BITCHES! I'M NOT DEAD! I am very much alive and back with the 20th and final chapter of "Shades of Blue''. Yeesh. This is my final author's note. Hold on to your butts (you have no idea how long I've been waiting to use that), this is going to be a long one. I don't want to say goodbye to this story and it's amazing readers! I have received such an incredible amount of support for this story. I never expected it to receive over 30,000 views, 80 reviews, 110 favorites, and 120+ follows. It has boosted my confidence in my writing skills so incredibly much. I started this story just after my fourteenth birthday, back when I had very little writing experience and was just doing it out of love and boredom. Since then, I've published sixteen fanfictions (all of which have gotten mostly positive reviews), taken an actual writing class, turned fifteen, and hopefully improved my writing. I personally think I have, as I recently went back and reread early chapters of this story and kept thinking "eww, god, who wrote that?". Haha. I apologize for my early inconsistencies. Anyway, I just want to say thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you to each and every person who read, followed, favorited, and especially reviewed this story. I truly couldn't have done it without you.
xxxRosalie
Her phone lit up again, a soft buzz emitted to notify the owner of an incoming message. Claire wished it would stop. Can a girl take a shower in peace? She wondered. Then, yes, she can. But a woman cannot. She ran her soapy hands over her body, making it slick and sudsy. Then she scrubbed her face, a little harder than she meant to, but her hands were working viciously with contempt. Claire let them drop to her side. She tipped her head back, letting her self enjoy the feeling of warm water streaming down her face, washing away soap and tears.
The water grew cold. Claire did not get out of the shower.
When she begrudgingly felt like she could finally face life, she reached up and shut the water off. She took as long as she possibly could to dry off and get partially dressed. Claire clambered up onto the sink counter. She sat there for maybe ten minutes, perfecting makeup she didn't even care about anymore. Back when she did care she had been quite good at it and had picked up the closer-to-the-mirror-you-are-the-better-your-makeup-is tip. After she had finished, Claire let her forehead rest on the mirror. She surveyed herself in its reflection. Her eyes fell to her bare thigh. To her scar. From the long-dead Indoraptor. Claire thought of the similar scars Zach would now have tracing across his left foreleg. What a wild summer that one had been.
And now it was coming to an end.
Claire finally got dressed and brushed her hair out. She was fully aware she had spent over an hour in the small bathroom. She had purposefully left her phone unchecked on the counter. Claire thought if she read another message from her sister she'd be sick. They were long, icky messages about how much Karen had missed her sons, how grateful she was to Owen and Claire for taking care of them, etc. Karen wouldn't have ditched her sons all freaking summer and gone off to Europe to do god-knows-what with her boyfriend if she had cared about Zach and Gray. The fact was: Karen didn't give a shit about anyone but herself. Claire felt uncomfortable about returning Zach and Gray to their mother. It didn't feel right. She was a mess and their father had drifted out of the picture.
Claire felt so strongly about this dilemma that she had invested a serious conversation with Owen about bringing Karen to court in a custody battle. But Owen had convinced her it wasn't worth it; Karen would win anyway. She was the boys' mother and she had taken care of them. But Claire didn't think "taking care of" and "caring for" were synonyms. Likewise, "mistreating" wasn't the opposite of "loving". Karen had never really "mistreated" Zach and Gray, but she had never really "loved" them either. Or at least she no longer did.
The early afternoon sunlight streamed through the open cabin windows. A soft breeze had drifted inside. It was a strangely cool day, at the peak of the usual heat-streak. Claire couldn't believe it was mid-August already. School would start in a few weeks. She was more nervous than she had expected for Maisie to go to a real school. It wasn't that Claire thought Maisie wouldn't do well in a classroom setting or that she didn't think Maisie would be capable of making good friends. It was that Claire would miss having her daughter around 24/7. She would miss her a lot. It was a complicated thing though, because Claire was genuinely happy for Maisie because Maisie was excited. Maybe I'll get a job, she thought. Work part-time. Something to keep me busy the eight hours she's gone every day.
Speaking (thinking, whatever) of work, where was Owen? He had taken a half-day and should have been home by then. Maisie was also nowhere to be seen. Claire would have been slightly concerned under normal circumstances, which these were not. She didn't blame her husband and daughter for hiding away;
Today was the day Zach and Gray left.
Claire's nephews had become such a regularity at the Grady cabin. They had stayed over all summer, longer than expected, which tricked everyone's minds into thinking that the Mitchells would stay with the Gradys forever. Of course, had any of them actually stopped and pondered the idea, they would have dismissed it almost immediately. Forever was a long time. No, forever was infinite; while there was time, there would be a forever. Claire loved Zach and Gray very much, but even she was surprised at the impact them leaving had on the family. A wave of melancholy had been cast over them like a large, black shadow.
Claire checked the time. Karen would be there in an hour. She knew she should get lunch started soon. But she hung back. She eventually decided she should go say something to the boys. It was the last private moment she would have with them anyway.
She knocked lightly on the guest room door. A brief moment passed, before Zach softly called, "you can come in.'' Claire pushed the door open. Zach sat on the unmade bed, folding clothes, while Gray knelt on the floor with an open suitcase, reverently placing objects inside.
"Hey.'' That was what Claire tried to say, but really her lips just moved. No sound came out.
"What's up?'' Gray asked, his voice slightly plaintive.
Claire pulled a wan smile. She stepped over the boys' suitcase and sat on the edge of the bed. Zach scoot over to allow her more room. They all sat in silence for a few minutes. Zach and Gray finished packing. Gray zipped up their suitcase. Claire decided she couldn't leave it up to her nephews to speak first, so she took a deep breath and prepared herself.
"I just, um,'' Claire searched for the right words. Zach and Gray watched her intently. "I want you to know,'' she continued more purposefully, "that if you ever need anything, I'm always going to be here. Owen and my house is always open to you both.'' She paused again, unsure of whether or not to say the next thing that came to mind. Zach's and Gray's expressions remained unchanged. Might as well. "If you don't want to go back, you don't have to.
Zach and Gray exchanged a fleeting glance.
"Could we?'' Gray almost whispered.
Zach averted his eyes, letting them sweep the floor of the room. He seemed to be considering the possibility. Claire was not as anxious about their decision as she thought she would be.
"I just want you to be happy,'' said she.
Looking up, Zach nodded. "We know.''
"We can't stay, can we?'' Gray's tone was both disappointed and understanding.
Zach shook his head. "No. We have to go home.''
"Is it still home though?'' said Gray. There was no venom in his tone. It was a genuine question. "Sure, Mom is there. But what about all the 'home is where the heart is' bullshit you hear about? I'm not sure if that place does it anymore, with Mom there or not.''
"I'm planning to move out of Mom's house later this year, remember? You're coming with me. Do you want to stay here?''
Claire was watching her nephews. This discussion, this decision, was between them. She was just an onlooker. Zach had asked the last question in an inquisitive, but in no way challenging, tone.
Gray considered this. "No,'' he said finally. "I don't really want to stay. But I don't really want to go back home either.''
"We'll come visit,'' Zach promised, "often.''
Claire's chest tightened. "Of course. You're always welcome.'' Everyone was quiet. "I need to go start lunch,'' Claire finally said. Before she could start to cry, she turned and left the room, shutting the door behind her. She wiped away the couple tears that forced their way out. It was going to be a hard afternoon.
Karen arrived promptly half an hour late. Claire hadn't expected any better from her sister. Karen had hugged Claire tightly, thanking her profusely. "I hope they weren't too much trouble?" She asked with fake earnestness. Claire knew she didn't care one way or another. Still, she reassured her sister that the boys were no trouble at all.
Zach and Gray had just finished packing when Karen arrived. They awkwardly shuffled out of the guest room, towing their suitcase behind them. Karen threw her arms around them, gushing tearfully how she had missed them. The boys were less enthusiastic, but hugged her back anyway. The whole thing made Claire rather sick. She suggested they have for lunch.
"Are you limping, baby?'' Karen asked Zach as they sat down at the table.
"I fell last week,'' he lied smoothly. "I'm fine.'' Claire suspected the lie was rehearsed.
"Where are Owen and Maisie?''
"Owen's working. He should be home soon.'' In truth, Owen should have been home an hour ago. "Maisie's out back or in her room.'' Claire was not going to drag her daughter out to talk to her sister. Maisie and Owen were probably both avoiding saying goodbye to the Mitchell boys. Claire could honestly not blame them.
Karen launched into a very detailed recount of everything that she and her boyfriend had done in Europe over the summer. Claire occasionally would nod or make some noise of acknowledgment, but she was mostly zoned out. Zach and Gray ate in silence, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.
The back door creaked open. Maisie stood in the doorway. She was wearing her usual t-shirt, jeans, and boots combo. She was peering oddly at Karen, her expression impossible to read.
"Hello Maisie,'' said Karen, with exaggerated warmth.
Maisie blinked back at her.
"Maisie, say hello to your aunt,'' said Claire.
"Hi.''
"Come sit down,'' Claire beckoned. Maisie did so with caution. "Where have you been?''
"Out back. With Dad.''
"He's home?" Claire was not surprised.
Maisie nodded and started filling up her plate.
Claire pushed her chair back, grateful for an excuse to leave the table. "I'm going to go see if he wants to join us.''
Owen did not want to join them. Upon arriving home (late) and seeing Karen's sky-blue minivan parked in the middle of the driveway, Owen had swung his truck around to the back of the cabin. He then drug out one of the four-wheelers out from the garage and began buffing away the chipped paint. Both four-wheelers were streaked with deep scratches from the escapade in forest the previous week. Owen had already power-washed them to get off the mud, and now he had moved on to repairing the scratches and restoring the paint. He didn't have to do it right that moment; he was in no sort of time crunch. But Owen did not want to go inside.
He was not fond of his sister-in-law. And he did not want to think about the boys leaving. He didn't trust Karen with her sons any more than Claire did. When the latter had introduced the idea of going into an almost-certain-to-lose custody battle over the Mitchells, Owen had been fleetingly tempted to do it. Then he snapped back to reality: they could never do that to the boys. Zach was nineteen and would be moving out of Karen's house as soon as he possibly could. He was planning to take Gray with him. Hadn't he told them that was his plan at the beginning of the summer? A custody battle would have just torn up the boys even more. Owen thought of how damaged they were — especially Zach. He knew Claire and his intentions were whatever was best for Zach and Gray. Neither of them ever wanted to cause the boys any more pain than they were already in. Owen had convinced Claire to drop the prospect.
So Owen avoided greeting his sister-in-law and he avoided bidding his nephews farewell. He knew he would have to both within the next couple hours. Owen was really not looking forward to doing the whole emotional goodbye thing again. He'd already done it with Blue.
A familiar creaking brought the back door's opening to Owen's attention. Light footsteps approached him. He turned, already knowing who it was.
"Hey babe,'' he said, kissing his wife as she met him.
"Hey you.'' Claire was looking intentionally at him, her voice laced with meaning.
Uh oh. Owen knew he was in trouble. "What's up?''
"Were you ever planning to face my sister?''
"'Face her'?'' Owen said sarcastically. "Shit, I didn't know there was anything to face.''
Claire held his gaze. "Owen.''
Owen kicked the ground like a pissed toddler.
"You're going to have to say goodbye.''
"I know.''
They stood in comfortable silence for a few moments, washed over by the late afternoon sun.
"I don't want them to go either,'' Claire finally spoke up.
"I know,'' said Owen again, with a sigh.
They were quiet again.
"Jesus.'' Owen laughed. He ran a hand over his hair. "The hell is this so hard?''
"I have no idea.'' Claire laughed too, but tears were in her eyes. She wrapped an arm around Owen's waist. "Come on. Let's go back in.''
The Mitchell boys were detained as long as Owen and Claire could come up with things to talk about. Alas, eventually all topics ran dry, the sun set, and Karen announced it was time to go at last. Owen helped drag the boy's suitcase to the minivan, loading it securely in the tailgate.
Then it was time to say goodbye.
Karen hugged Claire, thanking her again. She patted Owen's shoulder and gave Maisie a simpering smile. Owen muttered, "G'bye,'' and Maisie shot her mother a long-suffering look.
"I'll give you two a few moments to say goodbye,'' Karen told her sons, and climbed into the driver's seat of the minivan.
The Gradys and Mitchells stood in silence.
"So, uh,'' Zach eventually said, "thanks for letting us stay with you.''
"Of course,'' whispered Claire. She hugged her nephew tightly. Then she hugged Gray. When she finally let them go, tears were streaming down her face. She didn't bother trying to hide them.
"Always nice seeing ya, kid.'' Owen shook Zach's hand, then pulled him into a hug.
Gray approached Maisie, who had been mostly silent. Gray jammed his hands in his pockets. "Bye, Mais.''
Maisie flicked her ponytail. "Not sure why everyone's acting like we'll never see you again. You might live a couple hours away, but why should that stop us from seeing each other over the holidays or something? Just because we've never done it before doesn't mean it's not possible. And anyway, I'm starting school in a few weeks so you're going to have to give me a call. I need to know what's cool and what's not cool to talk about.''
A slow smiled spread across Gray's face. "Okay. See you later.''
Maisie punched his shoulder. "See you later.''
He gazed at Maisie for a long moment, and, for the briefest fraction of a second, she thought he was going to kiss her. But Gray just shrugged his shoulders and moved to say goodbye to Owen. Maisie was surprised to find herself disappointed. She pushed the sentiment away. Maybe someday.
While Owen thumped Gray on the back and advised him to steer clear of the ladies until he was actually ready to commit to one, Maisie hugged Zach tightly. "I'm actually going to miss you a lot,'' she said, finding herself dangerously close to tears.
"Hey,'' said Zach, "didn't I just hear you telling Gray we'd meet up over the holidays?''
"Yeah,'' Maisie smiled. "And you better have a girlfriend by then.''
Zach laughed. "Note taken.''
Then Gray climbed into the minivan and Zach climbed into the Malibu they had taken there, and drove away.
Owen, Claire, and Maisie watched until the taillights had completely disappeared into the dusky night sky.
Maisie turned and walked back into the cabin, head high. Claire lay her head on Owen's shoulder. "Helluva summer, eh?''
Owen put an arm around her. "It's a helluva life.''
They watched the stars rise above the horizon and fill the sky. It really was a helluva life for the Gradys. But, Owen thought, it was still a pretty damn good one.
It was summer.
The hot California sun beat down, obscured into designs of transparent essence cast upon the forest floor. The designs ran like briar around the clearing's perimeter. Claire, unaware of the beautiful light obstructions engulfing her, had said something, but Owen hadn't been paying attention. The dazzling light had caught Claire's grown-out hair in a way that resembled a waterfall of fire, rippling down her back. Owen thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"I would assume so,'' said Zia, is response to whatever it was Claire said. The paleoveternatrian was crouched down, examining the remnants of the old nest.
"If there was any sort of risk at stake, we wouldn't have brought them back,'' Franklin reassured them both from his perch on a four-wheeler.
Oh okay. Owen thought he knew what Claire had been talking about now. He stumbled forward slightly as something bumped into his shoulder. "Hey, Girl,'' he said, knowing what it was even before he turned to see Blue blinking expectantly at him. Owen stroked her neck.
After nearly a year, the raptors were finally back. The previous week, the government had finally lost interest in the creatures, and lifted Blue's sentence. Franklin and Zia had immediately loaded the raptor family into their trailer and driven them back to the Gradys' cabin. Franklin and Zia had been invited to stay the rest of the week as honored guests to study and observe the velociraptors in their new habitat. Blue had immediately lead her children back to the clearing they had been born into. They had made it their permanent home. Owen and Franklin had worked on clearing trails for the four-wheelers so they could access it more easily.
Owen's attention was drawn to Maisie, who was laughing with the delight of a young child. She had been chasing Max, Scarlett, and Winky with Adaela almost all day long. It was a strange game, thought Owen non-judgmentally, for a teenage human girl to be playing with dinosaurs, but he didn't think he'd ever seen Maisie so happy. Her face was smudged with sweat and dirt, and her bobbed hair was sticking up in every direction; the results of playing Tag with four intelligent, speedy reptiles. Maisie caught Owen's eye and her smile deepened. "Come on, Dad!'' she called.
Owen looked at Blue. "Should we?''
Blue trilled indignantly which Owen suspected was the velociraptor-equivalent of rolling your eyes.
"Please? Come on, our kids are playing together! How awesome is that?''
Blue gazed at him for a moment, then began trotting towards her raptor children and Owen's human one.
"That's a good girl, Blue,'' said Owen with a smile and a tightness in his chest he knew could only be pure, unadulterated happiness. "Good girl.''