Chapter 22: Gerudo City

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Notes: Happy New Year, everyone!

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When Link awakened the next morning, he was met by the sickening thought that all of this - whatever this was - would have to go in his report.

And it was probably wishful thinking to assume he could get along without speaking for however long the Princess wanted to stay. At the very least, he would have to explain to the guards why he needed to get into the palace.

Blessed Nayru above, how did I get myself into this?

His mouth dry, he slid off the edge of his bed and hesitantly approached the mirror in his room. Staring back at him was a Hylian… woman?... with wide, frightened blue eyes above a veil that concealed most of her face. Short blond tufts of hair mussed by sleep protruded above her forehead, and beneath the back of the veil the rest of her choppy, uneven hair could be seen just barely brushing her shoulders. Although overall rather lean, she had a square figure and broad shoulders, and a waist that wasn't quite curvy enough to be feminine. She was physically fit but still looked uncomfortable in her own skin.

Because she's actually a man.

The disguise held up, though. He didn't exactly make for a very pretty woman, but that was perfectly fine with him. Less of a chance of standing out, right?

Inhaling deeply, he faced his reflection again and decided to try and speak. "Hi," he choked out, wincing. Oh, goodness. That was about convincing enough to fool a bokoblin. Concentrating, he tried again. "Hi. Hi. Hi!"

It was no use; he couldn't do it. This is never going to work!

But I can't go outside without a plan, right?

Biting his lip, thinking hard, he decided to try something different, humming a short little tune before speaking again, focusing on making his voice sound musical. "Hi," he sang, instantly feeling his face heat up in embarrassment.

But at least that time he hadn't sounded as much like a man trying to imitate a woman's voice. Maybe I can just pass as a woman with a sort of deep voice.

It was better than nothing, and it was all he had. He squared his shoulders determinedly, before realizing that doing so made him look even less feminine. Swallowing tightly, he let his shoulders drop to their usual position. Carefully he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to make himself look at least a little more presentable, before double-checking the wrappings around the Master Sword and buckling his baldric around his chest.

Closing his eyes and willing his anxiety away, he walked out of his room and out to the front desk of the inn, deciding to put his newly acquired… voice… to the test.

"I'll -" his voice warbled and he coughed slightly, wincing and raising a hand to his throat. "I'll probably be returning tonight," he managed, watching the innkeeper carefully.

She smiled and nodded. "Very well, little one. Have a nice day!"

"Thanks," he squeaked, hurrying out into the already-sunny market. It worked!

Emboldened by his success, he returned to the steps ascending to the palace and dashed up to the archway. "May I have an audience with Chief Urbosa?" he asked the guards, gripping his hands tightly together. The sight of their spears knocked his confidence down several pegs.

"You were here last night, too," one of the women noted, her eyes narrowed.

Thinking fast, Link nodded. "I have a proposal - a trade arrangement - to present to her," he explained, biting back a grimace at how haughty his voice sounded when he was all but singing the words. "My father is a very successful dealer in - in apples."

"Very well," the other guard relented slowly. "But remember, the guards in the throne room will easily overpower you should you try anything underhanded."

"Of course," Link murmured, slowly stepping inside. Releasing a breath he hadn't been aware of holding, he raised his gaze to the tall throne. Urbosa sat regally upon silken cushions, speaking with a violet-haired Hylian woman several feet away. There was a female Rito just behind her, and Lin's heart sank. Apparently there'll be a line.

Disappointed, he took his place behind the other two women, wrapping his arms uncomfortably around his exposed stomach. He struggled to be patient; seeing that the Princess was not at Urbosa's side as he had hoped stirred worry in his chest. Four archers aren't enough! That market was crowded - and it's only a few hours after dawn! I bet it'll get busier. Which means it would be incredibly easy for some assassin to slip a blade through her neck or her side or her heart…

He shuffled his feet restlessly, desperate to find out where the Princess was and take his place - discreetly - behind her. Please, almighty Goddesses, keep her safe!

The sun was much too high in the sky by the time it was Link's turn to address the Gerudo Chief. She instantly smirked upon seeing him, and he felt his cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

"Well, aren't you cute," she teased with a wide grin. "And what might you call yourself?"

Link went rigid. I didn't think of a name! Heart hammering as he glanced desperately around the room, his eyes landed on an object and he said the first thing that came to his mind, almost forgetting to disguise his voice. "L-Lamp!"

Urbosa put a hand over her mouth, concealing an amused chortle. "Lamp, is it? Hmm… Or did you say Lark?"

Link gulped and nodded, quickly agreeing to the much less suspicious name.

"I've got your back, Lark," Urbosa smirked. "Now… why didn't you meet me when you arrived? I expected it would be the first thing you did."

Link felt his face warming. "Well," he squeaked, rubbing his throat again. "The guards wouldn't let me in, and I didn't want to draw attention."

Surprise flitted across the Gerudo Chief's noble face. "Ah. I will tell them - all of them - that you are to be given the highest clearance." She lowered her voice. "The late queen was my dear friend, and I will not dishonor her husband by preventing you from carrying out his orders."

"I appreciate that," Link said, twisting his hands nervously. "Where… is the… er…"

"You just missed her, actually," Urbosa admitted, her smile fading. "She has not left the city, of course - I would personally accompany her if she wished to do so - but I do not know where she is. I will send word if I see her," she added, seeing his crestfallen expression.

"Thanks," Link managed, beginning to bow before realizing he was masquerading as a girl; halfway through the motion he awkwardly raised his hands and shuffled his feet in what was probably the clumsiest curtsy ever attempted. Urbosa's unabashed laughter followed him all the way out of the palace.

When Link emerged from the palace and descended the grand set of stairs into the open-air market filled with women of all different races, he couldn't see any sign of the Princess. With whispered apologies he pushed his way through the crowd of market goers, scanning for the familiar gold of his charge's long hair.

Unfortunately, there were quite a few blond women out and about.

Among them, there were even several blond women wearing the exact shade of blue as the Princess' tunic.

A sudden hand on his arm nearly startled him out of his skin and he whirled around.

"Whoah, calm down, ma'am!" grinned a pale Gerudo with ancient, wrinkled skin. "My, aren't you a sweet little vai! And such a wonderful outfit, too! I bet you'd adore this bracelet - it would go so perfectly with your eyes!"

He'd wandered too close to one of the vendors. He shook his head quickly, trying to tug himself free, but the woman had already shoved the bracelet up his arm.

"Ooh, and I have just the perfect set of rings to go with that!" the Gerudo chuckled delightedly, snatching a box from the display she'd setup and whisking it open all while maintaining her iron grip on Link's wrist. "There! Now, what do you think of those?"

"I - I'm not interested, thanks," Link stammered, struggling to get free. He didn't want to hurt her - she had to be at least a hundred - but, then again, judging from the way she had imprisoned his wrist maybe she would be just fine. "Please let go."

The Gerudo tsked at him, snatching a garish ring with a massive sapphire and shoving it onto his finger. "Aah, it's as if it was meant for you!" she crooned. "And the sapphire will protect you out here in the desert - one look at your skin, child, and I just know you'll be red as a radish this time tomorrow! And all this can be yours for just three hundred rupees!"

"No," Link insisted, grabbing her hand and trying to pry it away. "I'm not interested, alright?"

"What about your mother, then?" the woman pressed. "That must be where you got those lovely eyes of yours, hmmm? Or your sisters? Friends? They would love these!" Link felt a brief stab of pain at the cold realization that he had none of those - mother, sisters, or friends. The vendor didn't seem to notice the downhearted change in his expression. "Or you could browse my collection for colors they would like… and there's still the fact that this bracelet is absolutely darling on you, and there's a matching necklace…"

Link went still for a moment, struck by an idea and overwhelmed by uncertainty about it at once. Half my ideas so far haven't worked - what makes this one any better?

It couldn't hurt to try again, would it?

He gulped. Yes, it most certainly could hurt.

"Er… actually," he sang, rubbing his throat again - it was beginning to get sore. "I… have a friend." Not. "She, er, likes the ancient Sheikah s-stuff, and… h-her eyes are green and, uh, I think she likes the color blue…"

Nayru, stop me! This is a terrible idea!

The old woman's eyes glittered with triumph. "Ah! Yes, yes, I have just the thing!" she cackled, dragging him closer to her stand. "The chain on this necklace right here was patterned after the script of the ancient Sheikah. The gem here is a blue diamond - is that the shade of blue she likes? Besides being absolutely gorgeous, the diamond is a stone that, so it is said, offers protection from monsters."

Link's heart skipped a beat. A sapphire protected the Princess from the heat yesterday. That means this diamond could really protect her, too! "H-how much does it cost?"

"Ah, for you, my dear? I'll offer it at the special price of 1,500 rupees." The Gerudo rubbed her hands eagerly, and Link's heart sank.

That's halfway to buying a new horse! "Can… can you lower it anymore?" he asked weakly, wincing as his voice cracked. "Like… a thousand rupees?"

The old woman stroked her chin. "Hmm… what about fourteen hundred? Thirteen? Twelve? That's as low as I'll make it. I'm sure there are plenty of other customers with their eye on this willing to pay more…"

"I'll take it," Link blurted, pulling his pouch of rupees from his belt.

"Excellent," the Gerudo purred, grinning widely as he counted gemstones off into her hands. She placed the necklace into a silky-looking green bag and dropped it into his palm. "Wonderful choice, young one! Come back again!"

Link put the green bag into his pouch before hurrying away into the center of the market, hoping not to be snatched away by any more merchants.

It was impossible to make heads or tails of the massive crowd around him. Half the people he saw were Gerudo standing at twice his height; there were also several Rito women, again much taller than he was. And there were even Gorons -

Link did a double take, staring. There was no mistaking it - two Gorons sat in the shade of a palm tree, grinning and laughing with each other. How did they get in? What happened to the 'no men allowed' rule? And they aren't even disguised as female!

Wait… are there any female Gorons?

Where do Gorons come from, then?

Thoroughly confused, he shook his head and continued staring into the crowd. This is pointless! He was just too short. If he didn't know where the Princess was to begin with, there was no way he would be able to find her from the ground. I need to get somewhere higher up.

He glanced back towards the palace towering at the southern end of the city. Maybe…

But it wasn't yet noon, and even from the market he could see a crowd mulling within the open-aired throne room. I doubt Urbosa's managed to tell the guards to let me in yet.

With a heavy sigh, he realized he would have to get closer to the market stalls. The Princess would probably be hovering at one of them, shopping or doing whatever it was she wanted to do here. It's not like there's a whole lot to do other than this, is there?

Everywhere he looked, something was being sold. He had heard of the tourist appeal Gerudo City held; apparently tourism and commerce were the only things the town survived off of. Which means the Princess must be participating in that somewhere. Right?

He searched the market for the rest of the day, following the various blond-headed, blue-clothed figures he spotted until it was clear none of them were his charge. The hands of eager merchants waved at him, grabbed, pulled, dragged, trying to get him to buy their wares. And the crowd of women all around him was painfully loud, filling the air with chatter and laughter and the occasional girly shriek. By noon Link could feel a headache forming behind his eyes. On top of that, the Gerudo slippers from Urbosa were too small and didn't offer any support; he could feel the burn of new blisters.

It was nearly evening when he felt a tap on his shoulder and found one of Urbosa's guards studying him sternly. "She's returned to the palace for the day," she told him. "It would be best if you go there now - discreetly."

Link nodded, and once she disappeared back into the crowd he began to make his way back to the palace, pushing his way once more through the market, meandering between tents and stalls.

After squeezing past a tight cluster of several larger women and taking a painful elbow to his already-aching head, he ducked down into an empty side street, breathing heavily. They want me to be discreet, he mused, taking a moment to catch his breath. Well… walking right up the front stairs doesn't seem like the best - or easiest - way to do that.

Raising his head, he looked down the street and could see several other paths twisting and turning away from this one. Maybe… if I keep heading in the general direction of the palace, I'll be able to find some lesser-known way in?

Plan in place, he took a step forward.

Only to see two dark figures dash past the end of the street, in the same direction he would be heading.

Instantly Link felt on edge. It's a desert city. I haven't seen anyone all day wearing all black.

Suspicious, he slipped his feet free of the annoying - not to mention loud - Gerudo slippers and darted after them as quietly as he could, turning left at the end of the street and running quickly to the next intersection, glancing in both directions just in time to see a flash of black at the end of the left path.

Are they… heading to the palace?

He picked up his pace, sprinting through the left street and turning a sharp right corner to a much longer stretch of road, this time catching a glimpse of the second figure right as they turned left once more. Link's feet slapped against the uneven flagstones paving the road and he grimaced, hoping that the two shadows wouldn't hear and wishing that he wore stockings to muffle the sound.

Unlike the market, which was one massive rectangle filled with tents and stalls mostly just around the edge, the rest of Gerudo City was a maze of tight corners and winding paths. Link assumed the two people he was pursuing were indeed heading, like him, to the palace.

If not, I'll probably be lost for a while. More failures. Great job.

Frowning, he followed the two dark figures around yet another corner and down a long, straight road before turning right where the road branched into two. Sweat dripped down his chest; even in the shadow of the tall, limestone buildings the air was unfairly warm, and running around only made the heat feel more intense.

Every few turns there was a break in the tall walls and houses creating this confusing maze of roads; each time, the palace was closer and closer. Although it made him feel more confident that he'd guessed correctly about where these two people were headed, his worry was steadily growing.

Two figures, clad all in black, running towards where both the Gerudo Chief and the Princess of Hyrule reside at this very moment…

Sounds like a Yiga assassination attempt.

Running his tongue over his dry lips, he quickened his pace, dashing down the sandy streets, hurtling around corners drawing steadily nearer and nearer to his targets. Do I run in and attack when I reach them, or do I go for stealth?

They clearly know this place better than I do… I might lose them either way. I should've brought a bow!

His feet were hurting worse than ever. A day in too-small shoes designed for style instead of practicality had definitely formed blisters, and now as he ran on the bare soles of his feet they threatened to pop open. It was much more painful than he'd anticipated.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and turned another corner, only to dart backwards as fast as he could. Heart hammering, he pressed his back against the wall and slowly peeked around the corner.

The next walled street ended in a wooden door guarded by two Gerudo. Above the wall, the palace arose with its glittering waterfalls flowing down the sides.

"Step aside, and no one gets hurt," one of the dark-clad women warned, advancing with a vicious-looking sickle. Definitely Yiga.

"I could say the same to you," retorted one of the guards, taller than the other by a few inches. "Leave this town and your lives might be spared, traitors."

The other assassin held up her hands with a dark chuckle. "Traitors? Now, that's a bit harsh, don't you think? Who have we betrayed? We answer to our leader - we are separate from Hyrule and always have been. We have betrayed no one."

"You betray everyone who ever fought for peace," the shorter Gerudo spat, her eyes flashing dangerously as she levelled her spear at the assassin's chest. Link carefully slid the Master Sword from its sheath and crouched, slowly inching forward. Looks like I'll be doing this the stealthy way.

The sickle-bearing Yiga laughed. "Peace? Hah!" She took a small step towards the door. "That's funny. Monsters are emerging from their black pits into the light of day and you kill them without a second thought. That doesn't sound like peace to me."

"And why are the monsters emerging in the first place? Your way would bring destruction!" the tall Gerudo growled, jabbing her spear forward. "The Calamity would consume everything -"

"And a new world would be born," the unarmed Yiga interrupted excitedly. "Imagine! Out of the ashes, no more crown, no more oppression - just freedom. A world in which we decide who gets the power! In which the Calamity watches over us all, protects us -"

A soft footstep on the gritty ground behind him. Link spun around in time to see a third black-clad assassin bringing her longsword down on him. He caught the blow on the Master Sword with a grunt and wasted no time swiping at her head, taking it clean off.

The two other assassins turned towards him at the sound of their comrade's head and body hitting the ground.

"Ah," one of them purred, raising her sickle and stepping towards him. "A little girl trying to be a heroine, eh? You don't belong here."

Link had had enough for one day. Angered, he pulled his veil from his face and ripped away the cloth around the Master Sword's hilt. "I'm not a little girl," he growled, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Voe!" the shorter Gerudo yelped, eyes widening in shock.

The two assassins lunged towards him, the second one pulling a demonic-looking circular weapon from thin air. They attacked as one, perfectly in sync with one another; Link rolled out of the way and brought up his blade as he sprang to his feet, stabbing it through the second Yiga's heart.

With a screech of anger, the sickle-wielding assassin slashed wildly at him, cutting into his left forearm as he wrenched his bloodied blade back out. Teeth clenched, he blocked her next attack and hooked the Master Sword through her weapon, wrenching it away from her grasp. Growling in frustration, she swung her f up and attempted to kick him in the groin, but he backpedalled out of the way before leaping forward, thrusting his weapon straight through her chest and jerking it back out with a sickening squelch, wincing at her scream of anguish. She crumpled to her knees, features twisted in agony as she clutched at her middle. Link quickly ended her, stabbing the Master Sword through the back of her neck.

The two Gerudo guards stared at him with wide eyes. Blushing, Link quickly snatched up his veil and hooked it over his face before once again concealing the Master Sword in strips of cloth. Wiping the bloodied blade on the dead Yiga's dark clothing, he sheathed it and turned his gaze to the guards.

"Please don't tell anyone about this," he said, wringing his hands nervously. "Urbosa knows I'm… a man. And I'll tell her about the Yiga attack. Just… don't say anything."

The guards' stunned stares did not leave him as he walked through the door into the palace. Well… that was a disaster.

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Guest Reviews

Chicwa88: Thanks! I get that, haha! Yeah, it was pretty funny! And I'm having way too much fun writing it! Hope you enjoyed!