Chapter 17: Admittance
Wind and her Mom took a ferry out to the island off Bravo beach this time, because her Mom never learned how to swim and was wearing designer clothes anyway and was worried they'd shrink.
"it's that island over there, Mom," said Wind, pointing to it.
"oh, it looks lovely!" said her Mom. she was kind of an airhead. especially since she and Wind could've ridden on Wind's jetbkie but she was worried it wouldn't be able to support them, despite Dexter sesigning it to be able to support the likes of Vilgax. and Wind's Mom was incredibly light from all the newfangled diets she kept trying.
so thye finally got off the ferry, Mrs. Walter tipped the ferry man and his wife (it was a family-run ferry) and headed into the jungle on the island. looking at it reminded Wind of her vagina.
well, at least I won't have to worry about shaving and looking decent anymore, she thought, and envisioned her undercarriage growing wild and lush like nature intended. but then it got infested with crab lice from a pubic toilet and she had to shave and start all over again.
shaking the evil thoughts away, Wind saw they were getting close. "here, Mom," she said and pushed the foliage out of the way to reveal Eldridge Johnsomeyer snoozing in the shade. they walked up to him Wind had no patience though after being distracted from her mission so she snaooed her fingers angrily. "yo. tree man. WAKE UP. I've got news on your guinea pig."
"SNORT - HUH?" asked Eldirge Johnsomneyer, a little startled but shaking off sleep. "OH, ITS YOU WIND. DID YOU FIND THE GUINEA PIG?"
"yeah, I found him, he's fine," she snapped. "now tell me what you know of what happened to Bittercup!"
"WELL, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T SEE A GUINEA PIG WITH YOU-" began argue Eldridge Johnsonmeyer until he saw Wind's Mom. his eye holes turned into heart-shaped eye holes. "OH! WHO IS THIS?"
"uh, this is my mom, she gave birth to me," said Wind feeling incredibly awkward.
"OH, BABY!" Eldridge purred. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?"
Mrs. Walter giggled. "Genius Grove~?"
Wind looked from Elrdirgde, to her Mom, and back, disgusted. "that's my Mom, you termite-infested asshole!"
"THEY'RE NOT CONTAGIOUS," said Eldridge still all smooth-like to Mrs. Walter. "IF I'D KNOWN I'D BE HAVING SUCH BEAUTIFUL COMPANY, I'D HAVE TAKEN CARE OF THEM. PARDONÉ MOÍ."
"ooh!" said Mr.s Walter. she had a thing for French. she blushed and started fanning herself. "oh, wow, is it hot in here, or what?! hee hee..."
"UGH," said Wind, her stomach twisting at the sight of her mother falling for a tree of all things. yes she'd thought his voice was hot but this whole scene just made her angry. that and she still needed to find Buttercup and it had been a long couple of days, and she wanted potato chips. "Edlridge Johnsonnnmeyer JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF BUTTERCUP UTONIUM SO I CAN LEAVE THIS FOUL PLACE AND NEVER RETURN."
"SURE, SURE, KID," said Eldridge not taking his eye holes off Mrs. Walter, "LAST I SAW ANYTHING OF HER WAS WHEN HER RAGGED JACKET WASHED UP ON THE BEACH ABOUT THREE WEEKS AFTER SHE WAS KNOCKED INTO THE OCEAN. THEN A WEEK AFTER THAT THIS GIRL WASHED UP ON THE BEASH AND SHE LOOKED LIKE BUTTERCUP, BUT SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS AND SHIT SO I COULDN'T TELL. BUT THEN THAT FREAKY GREEN GUY FROM THAT AWFUL LOCAL BAND SHOWED UP TO DUMP TRASH ON THE ISLAND AND FOUND HER, AND I GUESS HE MUST'VE WATCHED MY LITTLE MERMAID A FEW TO MANY TIMES BECAUSE HE BEGAN CRYING AND DECIDED TO TAKE HER HOME TO NURSE BACK TO HEALTH. SO IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW THAT LEAD I SUGGEST SPEAKING WITH THE LEADER OF THE GANGREEN GANG, ACE. THAT IS ALL."
"I see..." said Wind, sctratching her chin. "thank you, Mr. johnsonmeyer. I'll be in touch. let's go, Mom."
"toodle-loo!" said Wind's Mom and she giggled as she walked away out of the jungle off the island onto the ferry and back onto the beach.
"WIND...?" asked Eldridge Johnson,eyer as Wind was walking away.
"what.?" she asked.
"ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I MEAN, YOU SEEM KIND OF... REALLY STRESSED."
she sighed, her fanny fiasco coming to the forefront of her mind again. "it's nothing."
"WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY FOR MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT FOR YOU. IF YOU EVER NEED ANY MORE HELP, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO ASK - AND I PROMISE NOT TO ASK FOR ANY FAVORS IN RETURN FROM NOW ON."
whoa, that is very sweet of him, Wind thought, and his kindness spoke to her. before she knew it, she was on her knees and crying into the sand.
"WIND?!" Eldridge asked startled! "WIND, WHAT'S WRONG?!"
"M-Mr. Johnsonmeyer... I... I..."
"YES?"
"I've been diagnosed... with chlamydia..." she confessed.
"OH WIND, I AM SO SORRY!" he said.
"thank you, but now... now I will never be able to make love to my beloved boyfriend Decter ever again... and the last time I saw him, I just abandoned him when he was certain for action..."
"DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER IT WIND. HE WILL UNDERSTAND."
"BUT I CAN'T BEAR TO TELL HIM!" Wind cried. "AND NOW THAT I'M SICK, I CAN NEVER HAVE SEX WITH HIM AGAIN TO SAY SORRY!"
"THAT IS A VERY RESPONSIBLE THING FOR YOU TO DO," he said, looking into my eyes, his deep voice pouring over his words like caramel. "MOST PEOPLE WOULD JUST CONTINUE TO SCREW THEIR LOVERS AND INFECT THEM MANY TIMES OVER."
"sniff... really?"
"YES. YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD HEART, MS. WALTER. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT."
"th... thank you, Mr. Johnsonmeyer..." she said, blushing, looking into his eye holes. she was now standing in front of him and he gingerly wrapped one of his branches around Wind. "you know, I... I never noticed just how strong your branches are..." Wind said.
"THANK YE KINDLY, MISS," said Eldridge, who then winked at her. "ALL THE BETTER TO SUPPORT PRETTY LITTLE TUCHUSES LIKE YOURS."
"ooh!" Wind said and giggled. "you must say that to all the girls."
"NAH. YOU'VE GOT A NICE BUBBLE ON YOU, MA'AM. TOP NOTCH."
Wind leaned into his embrace, feeling relief that she was with someone who wouldn't catch her chlamydia... even if they made love. suddenly all her stress and emotion swirled into a vortex that quickly turned into lust. "you wanna... check out how it looks outside the box?"
he smiled. "I NEVER CAN KEEP ANYTHING IN ITS PACKAGING."
that was good that he was a tree, then, so Wind wouldn't get pregnant. but regardless, she stripped off her clothes, skirt and underpants first, and flung them into Eldirgde's high branches which really turned him on. Eldridge was much older and experienced when it came to pleasuring the ladies so he knew exactly how to caress Wind's body for optimum ecstacy. when she was ready he got his crotch branch out which looked exactly like a human ding-dong, only covered in bark.
"talk about morning wood," sex-joked Wind and Eldridge was so turned on by it that he dipped her and kissed her immediaetly. carefully so as not to scratch herself, Wind eased down on the tree-weiner and went to town.
"UNGH, YES ELDIRGDE, UGH, YEAH, THAT'S IT!" she screamed out over the island.
Eldridge was also moaning extremely loudly because he was a tree and realized he'd never been with anyone as pretty as Wind. he made sure to enjoy every second.
just then, the bushes across from them parted and instead of seeing a fox standing there they saw DEXTER HIMSELF, STANDING IN SHOCK AND IMMEDIATELY CRYING AT THE SIGHT OF HIS BELOVED IN THE CARNAL EMBRACE OF A TREE.
"WIND!" he cried. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"
"DEXTER?!" Wind shrieked, shocked, but immeidately hit climax by accident so did Eldridge Johnsonmeyer. so Decter had the added misfortune of seeing his beloved have orgasm not only with a stranger, but with an arboral stranger.but what he couldn't have known was that Wind reached climax just by looking at him which was really sweet really.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU COULD HAVE SEX WITH A TREE BEHIND MY BACK!" shouted Dexter, tears were running down his face even fatser now.
"Dexter, wait, please, I can explain!" Wind creid, but it was too late.
"I don't want to hear it!" Decter said through his sobs as he ran back out of the jungle and off the ialand. "just leave me and my broken little heart alone!"
Wind clasped her hands to her mouth as her own tears showered down. she had once again hurt the one she loved the most. what could she do now?