"Mr Potter," Snape said with a sneer.
"Professor Snape," Harry replied, eyes narrowed and fists clenched.
James and Lily stared speechless at the two, completely nonplussed at the hatred that seemed to hang in the air between them… until they burst out laughing.
"You should see your face," Snape said with a cheerful grin.
"I should have brought a camera," Harry said snickering.
"You got us," James admitted. "Good prank."
"If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were both just one step away from violence," Lily admitted as she hurried over to give Harry a hug.
"How did you get here and can you make it back before curfew without getting caught?" Snape asked, running half a dozen plans through his head on how to sneak Harry back into Hogwarts.
"I can be in my dorm in under a minute," Harry replied as his mom released him.
"You didn't use the floo," James said, as he tried to work out how Harry had made it home and could reach Hogwarts so quickly. "Brooms aren't that fast and even apparation would only land you in Hogsmeade. Portkey?" he asked doubtfully, not sure how Harry could have gotten his hands on one, much less one that would pass through Hogwarts wards.
"No," Harry said and shook his head, refusing to say more.
"We'll figure it out eventually," Lily said with a smile, enjoying seeing her husband stumped at a prank.
"But back to the subject at hand," Snape said, hiding his own smile at James' frustration. "Harry, how did you discover the box from me?"
Harry racked his brain for a way to provide an excuse that would convince them to not question him any further and recalled some words of 'wisdom' from Sirius.
"Listen well young prankster, one of the best ways to keep people from asking questions is to give them answers that make them uncomfortable," Sirius said. "If you seem guilty of something that's innocent but disgusting, they'll stop looking to you for answers. Like licking you own-"
Harry quickly pushed the memory from his mind. "I was wanking!" he blurted out, blushing as he realized what he'd said. "I noticed the box at the foot of my bed right after."
"We certainly don't need to see the memory of that," James said.
"I doubt he would have noticed anything of importance anyways," Snape added.
"So, what's with the questions?" Harry asked.
"The journal you gave me appears to be from an alternate timeline," Snape explained. "There are numerous brilliant potion discoveries in it, ones I could have made but didn't as I told you earlier and the memory strand confirms it was indeed from a… version of me."
"That…" Harry's voice trailed off, glad they'd come to the right conclusion, but unsure what to say, "is just... Does this happen a lot?"
"Almost never," Snape replied, having consulted with Dumbledore the night before. "Occasionally there is an accident with a time turner, but this looks to be something done via ritual."
"It's an amazing discovery and normally we would contract the Unspeakables, but they tend to be overenthusiastic, so perhaps it's best if we just keep quiet about the entire thing," Snape told Harry.
"I'm certainly not telling anyone," Harry assured the three, a bit nervous as he didn't want the Unspeakables poking in his life!
"Agreed," James said trying not to grin as he thought of how embarrassing it would have been for Harry to have his masturbation habits merit an unspeakable investigation.
Ginny entered the room and spotted her brother. "Harry!" she exclaimed and tackled him in a hug, almost knocking him off his feet.
"Harry?" Flora asked as she came downstairs, attracted to the noise. Seeing her brother, she immediately piled on knocking the two to the ground.
The rest of his sisters quickly made an appearance, joining in the dogpile, amazed to see their brother again so soon.
Eventually Harry managed to squirm his way free and untangle the pile giving each a hug in apology for 'being gone so long.'
"Well, I must be on my way, I have to make an appearance at supper," Snape said, "Dumbledore likes us to be at every meal for the first few weeks while the new students settle in."
"Would you like me to escort you?" Harry asked with a grin as he saw a way to include Snape in the 'joke' which would prevent his father from directly asking for answers as it went against the Marauder code and his mother wouldn't, enjoying seeing James stumped in figuring it out and being reassured whatever Harry was doing was safe since Snape would tell them that much later.
Snape grinned as he figured out Harry's plan the moment he'd opened his mouth. "I'd be delighted Mr Potter. Shall we?"
"We shall," Harry said just as politely back, both of them wearing matching grins as James whined. "I'll be right back," Harry promised his sisters, before leading Snape up the stairs and into his room.
"Nice bed," Snape noted as he looked it over.
"Just got it," Harry replied as he closed his bedroom door. "You can see why I'd come up with a fast and easy way to get home rather than sleep at Hogwarts."
"I'll have to come up with a way to signal you if you're needed at the castle, so no one discovers it," Snape decided. "Now, what's the trick?" he asked eagerly.
Harry walked over to his vanishing cabinet and tapped it.
Snape looked confused for a moment before figuring it out. "It's a vanishing cabinet!"
"Ten points to Slytherin," Harry said with a grin. "I have the matching cabinet in my dorm room."
"Any problem with me using it?" Snape asked.
"Just be sneaky about it," Harry said, "and no giving away my secrets."
"I'll be the soul of discretion," Snape promised, before tapping himself on the head and morphing into a duplicate of Harry. "Remember to make an appearance at diner," he said in Harry's voice.
Harry's jaw dropped as his doppelganger shot him a mischievous grin and vanished into the cabinet.
He returned downstairs before anyone got impatient and came after him. "I'm back," he announced as he entered the living room.
"Harry!" Ginny said with a grin as she pounced on him in a hug.
"Harry!" Flora echoed her with a smile as she followed suit.
Following their older sisters example Evie, Dawn, and Connie quickly did the same, drowning him in redheads once more.
"That was fast," James noted thoughtfully. "Snape already gone?"
"He's at Hogwarts," Harry said, from the floor.
"Not a portkey?" James asked again.
"Nope," Harry said, not attempting to squirm free from them this time.
"Are you staying for dinner?" Lily asked, happy to see that Harry was still getting along with his sisters despite being at Hogwarts and hadn't backslid as she'd feared.
"I have to be at Hogwarts for dinner," Harry said, "but I've got a few hours."
"What was your sorting like?" Flora asked.
"Not allowed to talk about it, but it went pretty quickly," Harry said wondering who was untying his shoes, but not in a position to look as Flora and Ginny had him pinned down.
"How was your first transfiguration class?" James asked eagerly. "Did McGonagal pull her animagus routine on everyone?"
"She did, and half the class had already pet the kitty and taken their seats before she revealed herself," Harry replied with a smile as his parents grinned at one another no doubt recalling their former head of house pulling it on them during their first class.
"Need any help with the homework?" Lily asked.
"No homework," Harry said smugly.
"You managed to turn a matchstick into a needle during your first class?" James asked hopefully.
"We all did," Harry replied.
"What? All of you?" Lily asked in disbelief.
"All of us," Harry agreed. "We almost didn't, but Malfoy helped Crabbe and Goyle and though theirs were a bit rough, McGonagall was over the moon."
"That's amazing!" Lily exclaimed. "Tell me everything!"
"Not much to tell," Harry said, "we all left early to make sure we were in class on time, since we're still finding our way around. We got there early and talked about transfiguration and I mentioned the two different ways I've seen. Once class began Hermione got it almost instantly and then the rest of Gryffindor were getting it one after another. The Slytherins got frustrated because they weren't doing so well, not having been there for our discussion. Hermione jotted down some notes and passed them to Daphne Greengrass. Greengrass got it just a few seconds later and passed the note down. Soon all the Slytherins had read it and turned their matchsticks into needles except Crabbe and Goyle, but Malfoy worked with them and they finally got it, just before class ended."
"And only those who fail the practical are assigned homework," Lily said with a smile.
"I may have mislead my fellow students into believing everyone has to complete it to avoid homework," Harry admitted. "I want to see how long it takes before someone fails when everyone is encouraging them."
"A prank that encourages good grades," Lily said proudly. "James you could learn a thing or two from your son."
James laughed. "We studied hard to pull off our pranks, but I don't think we ever used a prank to make anyone else study. Nice one, Harry."
"And then we all descended on lunch like a flight of hungry dragons," Harry said. "I think Dean almost stabbed Ron in the hand when they were both going for the last chunk of ham."
"Transfiguration can really take it out of you starting out," James said, "especially if you put your heart into it."
"We forgot the tea," Dawn said, getting up off the pile and pulling Connie up, both of them taking one of Harry's shoes.
"Quick before it gets cold," Evie said, hopping to her feet and the three vanished up the stairs.
"Wanna go flying?" Ginny asked Harry.
"I would love to go flying," Harry said, reminding himself to retrieve his shoes later.
"Aren't the snitches still charmed to seek out redheads?" Flora asked.
"Makes it more challenging," Harry replied knowing better than to bet on who could catch the most and not really caring who won anyway.
"Works for me," Ginny said, as she and Flora climbed to their feet, letting Harry get up off the floor.
"Any ideas?" James asked Lily once the kids had left.
Lily hid a smirk. "Phoenix animagus," she said as solemnly as possible. "After going through first flame with Sheila it awoke his dorment Phoenix transformation and now he can flame travel, it's why he insisted on a fireproof bed and only comes and goes from his room."
James looked shocked and then considering until Lily burst out laughing. "Why you!" His fingers dug into her sides as he tickled her.
She quickly struck back and the two fell off the couch laughing as they tickled one another.
0o0o0o0o
Harry stepped out of his cabinet and Ron looked up from his work and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Do I have to ask?" Ron replied.
"Probably," Harry said, "I'm not a legilimens."
"Okay, why were you in your cabinet and come to think of it, why did you bring a cabinet to school?"
Harry considered telling him the truth but realized that since Ron didn't have occlumency training it'd be too easy for Dumbledore or Voldemort to get the secret from him. "It's dark and blocks out snoring," he replied.
"There are worse places to nap," Ron decided, finishing up his work. "Ready for diner?"
"More than ready," Harry said. "Let's round up everyone and go."
"The guys are down in the main room, not sure where the girls are," Ron said. "Hermione mentioned going to the library. Power hungry, that one is."
Harry's lips twitched at Ron's unintended Yodaism and the thought of Hermione being power hungry, but could see where Ron would get that idea since he'd been told knowledge was power, just a handful of hours ago. "I'll stop by the library and get her, once I've dropped you all off."
Ron put away his work and handed Harry, Hermione's notes. "Well, pass these on to her and tell her I said thanks."
"Will do," he agreed.
"And Harry?"
"Yeah?" Harry replied as they started down the stairs.
"Where are your shoes?" Ron asked.
"Forgot them somewhere," Harry replied unconcerned, "I'll look for them after dinner."
"Suit yourself," Ron said with a shrug.
"Everyone ready to eat?" Harry asked as he entered the main room.
"That time already?" Seamus asked, looking from the game of exploding snap just before his cards exploded, covering his face in soot. "Let me wash up real quick."
"Lavender is with Parvati in the library, hunting down a nail strengthening charm," Morag offered.
"I'll grab them after I guide you all to the great hall," Harry said.
"Are we taking the simple way or a shortcut?" Neville asked. "The shortcuts are hard to memorize."
"Simple way," Harry replied. "It's why I only take shortcuts to class and not back, so you can all memorize the long way when we're not in a rush."
"Works for me," Dean said, "this place is kinda screwy."
Seamus returned. "Okay, I'm ready."
Everyone gathered together and followed Harry out the portrait and into the halls, where he showed them the easy way to get to the main hall, before heading for the library.
As everyone took their seats at their house table, Malfoy approached with his two followers and after making sure Potter wasn't there smirked and mentally prepared a few cutting remarks. "For the house of the brave you lot sure do follow around Potter a lot."
"He's the first year house leader," Dean said, "it's his job to ride herd on us and make sure we get to class on time." No one had come right out and said it, but it was obvious Harry was like a college RA, he certainly acted like one.
"He does?" Draco asked surprised.
"Just like you've been keeping your Slytherins in line," Morag pointed out. "You came in behind the rest of them, making sure Crabbe and Goyle don't get lost and help anyone who's having problems."
Malfoy nodded nervously, wondering if he'd been failing to do a job he hadn't been aware of holding and glad the majority of his Slytherin year mates were competent. "Where is Potter?" he asked, wondering if he could ask him a couple of questions about what he was supposed to do as first year lead Slytherin.
"Gone to the library to round up the rest of the first years," Ron said, surprised to find Malfoy actually tolerable. "Hermione is doing research on our next transfiguration class, so we'll have another set of notes to pass around in advance."
"You should try and get your year mates there a bit earlier, so you all have time to go over them," Morag said. "You guys caught on quick, but transfiguration is supposed to be one of the tougher classes and none of us wants to see anyone not complete the class assignment."
The various first year Gryffindors chimed in agreement while the older years quietly listened, many guessing that the first year leader house position had something to do with how the sorting had changed this year and wishing they'd had someone their own age to look out for them when they were first years, because the Prefects rarely had the patience to help out the younger years.
The next table over Padma stiffened as she overheard the conversation at the Gryffindor table. Apparently she'd been given the responsibility to watch over her fellow first years and been too distracted to notice but even worse than that both the Slytherins and Gryffindors had managed McGonagall's first assignment in class and only a single raven had! She sipped her tea and forced herself to calm down. This was their first week, no one expected perfection yet, she'd simply have to figure out what her responsibilities were… and see if Granger would share her notes on transfiguration or better yet, she could ask her sister for a copy.
Padma briefly wondered if someone had informed Susan Bones, but a quick glance at the Hufflepuff table showed she was straightening one of her year mates' ties while answering another one's questions, so it was obvious she had things well in hand. She might have to consult with her to see how she handled it.
Potter returned with over half a dozen first years, some from each house and they all quickly took their seats just before the professors arrived and the meal began, completely unaware of the chaos he was causing.
Greengrass nudged Tracy as she noticed something off about Potter. "Where are his shoes?"
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: Yes, all the unintended chaos, it is delicious.